Horror movie #31 - Phantoms

MOVIE: Phantoms (1998)

PLOT:  A couple sisters arrive in Snowfield to rest and relax and get some skiing in.  Unfortunately, nobody seems to be left in Snowfield.  Or rather, nobody whole.  There may be a few pieces of them left behind...

OVERALL ENJOYMENT:  Always a good one.

GOOD POINTS:  Great acting and hollywood style special effects.  Definitely not a small budget.

BAD POINTS:  No nudity!  Bit short.  Could have dragged it out a bit more.  Ending was a bit rushed.

SPOILERS:  They never made a sequel to this one.  Don't know why.  Hmmm.  Perfect setup for it at the end there.

IMPRESSIONS:  great cast, Peter O Toole, who is surprisingly still alive and acting at the age of 157 years old (he's got to be at least that old), Rose Mcgowan, Ben Affleck, and Leiv Shreiber.  Honestly, though, I never liked Ben Affleck.  He looks like such a douche.  Moving on.  Like i said yesterday, some of the best horror movies are the kind where you don't know what's going on.  In this case, first the people of Snowfield are missing.  Then there's a body found, and you're thinking heart attack?  Disease?  And then pieces of bodies are found, and you're thinking psycho Killer?  Demon Bikers?  Space aliens?  What?  WHAT?!?  WHAT THE FUCK IS IT?  FUCKIN TELL ME ALREADY!!!!!  And then finally you get to sort of find out what it is.

I have seen this movie before.  I may have even reviewed this movie before, but I am pressed for time tonight.  I was going to review Terrorvision, something i hadn't seen before, but frankly, it was so lame I shut it off.  It was bad even for a b-movie.  lol  I scanned through a few titles hoping to find something decent but Phantoms will have to do for tonight.

That's it for the month!  The horror movie review-a-thon is now over for this year.  So many movies, so little time.  Maybe someday I'll have the time to review several movies a day and do triple features on saturdays, but until that day comes, stay tuned!  I'll still be reviewing movies here on my blog, just not as often until next october.  lol  I'm sure there were other good movies I could have reviewed, but finding them amid the mass of crappy horror out there is really hard to do.  Maybe I'll have better luck next year!  :-)

OTHER NEWS:  I missed the Munsters last week!  :-o  I'm shocked.  I really don't know how i missed it.  Oh well.  Busy week, and I have company coming.  Candy, here I come!  Happy Halloween everyone!  :-D  Enjoy the end of the political season next week!  lol

#30 - Village of the Damned

MOVIE:  Village of the Damned (1995)

PLOT:  Midwich is a sleepy little town along the coast.  Very sleepy.  So sleepy, in fact, that pretty much the entire town passes out one day, all at once, from exactly 10 am to exactly 4 pm.  6 hours of absolute unconsciousness, during which time, nobody really knows what happened...  until the local doctor notices the number of pregnancies is way up.  Up by 12, in fact.  Exactly 12.  All dating to the day when the whole town was put to sleep by unknown means...

OVERALL ENJOYMENT:  I really liked this movie.  Always a good watch.

GOOD POINTS:  Tons of famous actors.  Big budget production, doubtless spent on the actors involved instead of explosive special effects.  Not that there weren't any!

BAD POINTS:  Not enough Michael Pare!  He may not be the world's greatest actor but he always brings a lot of character to his roles.  No nudity, again, despite some fairly attractive actresses in this movie.  Oh well.

SPOILERS:  Having seen the movie a few times, I am beginning to wonder if the development of emotions wasn't just a mechanism to help them survive...  Hmmm.  Sequel, anyone?

IMPRESSIONS:  Some of the really best horror films are films where you really have no idea what the hell is going on, like the first time i saw this movie.  There's some odd happenings, maybe some deaths, and an urgent desire to figure out what's going on, but just like the characters on the screen, you don't have enough evidence to piece it together yet.  This makes you identify with them, because they are just as confused as you are about what's happening.  And then what's going on starts to become clearer, and frankly, you'd rather you were still in the dark about it, because it's just too horrible to think about.

Village of the Damned is one of those films.  It starts out pretty normal.  Small town life. There's some sort of pumpkin festival being held by the school, which makes me think it's a halloweeny type of movie.  All the characters are going about their daily tasks, some doing their jobs, some helping to prepare for the activities at the festival, when all of a sudden, everyone just passes out.  There are some deaths involved, because when you're driving along and then you're asleep at the wheel, there's going to be a problem pretty damn soon.  The authorities become involved, but can't get in to check out the town because everyone who goes within a certain distance of the town zonks out just like everyone in it.  Animals, birds, everything, just out like a light.  And then just as suddenly, they all wake up again.  And if that wasn't bad or creepy enough, things just start to go downhill from there.

Definitely worth multiple watches.  Seen it many times.  Netflix was removing it from their queue on Halloween, so at this point I don't know where you'd watch it, but that's why i decided to view it tonight.  It's got christopher reeve before his accident but after his superman days, and it's got kirstie alley back when she was still hot and a major actress.  Lots of other major stars too, Mark hamill, linda kozlowski, michael pare i already mentioned, oh, and George "Buck" Flower!  Let me just take an aside here to say...  If you've got a name like George Flower, i can see why you'd take the nickname "Buck."  He must have really got picked on at school when he was a kid.  Great actor though.  Village of the Damned was also directed by John Carpenter, who...  also directs our bonus movie tonight!  :-o  TADAA!!!!

BONUS REVIEW:  The Fog (1980)  Still avaialble on netflix.  The Fog was an excellent little gem by john carpenter a few years after he did "Halloween."  Lots of suspense, many tense moments.  You youngins may not understand suspense and tense moments, you just like your blood and gore.  Well, there wasn't much of that in this movie.  Just plain old creepy terror.  Having seen the fog many times since I was a kid, it still creeps me out to this day.  John Carpenter re-used jamie lee Curtis from halloween, cast Tom Atkins in the hero role (who would later be tapped to do halloween 3, which had nothing to do with john carpenter or Michael myers), and HEY, George "Buck' Flower also makes an appearance in this movie!  lol  That guy sure gets around.  I swear you'd be hard-pressed to find a horror or western he DIDN'T have a part in in the 70's, 80's or 90's.  Also, this was one of only two movies where Janet Leigh (of Psycho fame) co-starred with her daughter, jamie Lee curtis.  The other was halloween H20.  Also, if you look carefully, janet leigh's assistant is played by nancy Loomis, who played Jamie Lee Curtis friend in halloween.  I am always amazed by how often these people tended to work together back then.  It must have been like getting together with old friends every few months to work on another project.  Anyway, you guys must know the plot by now!  Antonio bay turns 100 years old and ends up paying for it's founding in blood!  Yea, pretty simple stuff, but so much fun to watch.  I even love just listening to the actors talk in this film.  It's like every line of dialogue was trimmed and practiced until every single syllable is meted out for maximum suspense.  Just hearing the story about nick's dad finding the gold coin on the old schooner ship while he's talking to jamie lee curtis was freaking me out.  I may have peed myself just a little.  Scenery is awesome in this movie, too.  During the day, Adrienne barbeau's ride to the lighthouse where she works, totally beautiful to watch.  The views were exceptional.  And i'm not even talking about the actress herself, who was much younger in those days and also a babe!  Always fun to watch that movie, i try to hit it every year around this time.

OTHER NEWS:  Well, I went to bed last night figuring i'd lose power due to some light winds, and woke up this morning to almost sunshine.  Sandy the "superstorm" managed to fizzle itself out in record time.  Sure, I know some places got hit bad, virginia is still dealing with heavy snows and new york city is still half under water, but I knew it wasn't going to get bad here.  We're on the slow side of the storm.  Nothing happened here.  We didn't even lose power, which is unusual for us.  We tend to lose power during a light thunderstorm.  lol  Now all it needs to do is dry out a little and we'll still have candy for trick or treaters tomorrow night!  :-D  Hopefully not too many trick or treaters.  I get anything the kids don't take.  lol

And it is after midnight, so it's now officially All Hallow's Eve!  YAY!  Happy Halloween everybody!  :-D  Don't eat too much candy!  Save some for me!  lol

#29 - Dracula 3: Legacy

MOVIE:  Dracula 3: The Legacy (2005)

RECAP:  Before I get into the plot of Dracula 3, I have to recap Dracula 2000 and Dracula 2.  In Dracula 2000, we learn that Dracula had been captured several hundred years ago by Van Helsing and kept in a steel coffin under lock and key.  Van Helsing remained alive by transfusing small amounts of Dracula's blood into his system in the hopes that some way could eventually be found to slay Dracula.  Apparently, he's immune to silver and stakes through the heart just piss him off.  Unfortunately, a group of thieves rob the steel coffin from Van helsing's vault, mistaking it for something valuable, and Dracula's coffin is opened while the group is flying over New Orleans.  Dracula proceeds to slay everyone involved, the plane crashes in New Orleans, and Dracula is freed to find Van Helsing's daughter, who has dracula's blood flowing through her veins as a result of Van helsing's infusions.  Through her link with Dracula, Van helsing's daughter discovers who he really is... Judas Iscariot, the betrayer of Christ, which is why Dracula (and by extension, all vampires) hates crosses, silver (the 30 pieces of silver), and all things christian.  Unfortunately as the saying goes, he cannot die until god forgives him, so instead they manage to hang him from a neon cross in full daylight, lighting him on fire.  In Dracula 2, a bunch of medical students discover his corpse in a morgue, burned beyond recognition, and realize his body for what it is, that of a vampire.  They manage to resurrect him with blood and keep him prisoner in an attempt to divine what secrets his blood holds so that their professor, his body twisted and ravaged by disease, might be cured.  Unfortunately, Dracula escapes, while a Vampire hunter from the vatican stalks him.  Dracula infects a young medical student named Elizabeth and takes her with him, and another student joins the vampire hunter in his quest to find her and slay Dracula.

PLOT:  This movie begins with the vampire hunter being recalled by the vatican, but the hunter (a half-vampire priest) breaks with the church rather than give up his quest.  Tracking Dracula back to  europe, the pair of hunters must navigate a war zone to find and kill their final target, and rescue Elizabeth.

OVERALL ENJOYMENT:  The series as a whole was pretty good, but I think this movie kind of dropped the ball compared to the first 2.  Still, it wasn't bad, there were vampires, nudity, lots of blood and gore, and plenty of beheadings to end the series.

GOOD POINTS:  A couple of the same actors from Dracula 2.  Not the same actor who played Dracula, but Rutger Hauer this time, who was not necessarily an improvement (he made Dracula look way too much like Lothos from Buffy the vampire slayer, lol), but a better actor, at least.  And, nudity!  So, points for that.

BAD POINTS:  Dracula, who was so prevalent in the first two movies, is only in two scenes in this one.  Basically this could be called "Two vampire hunters slay some vampires and dracula makes a guest appearance." except that title is way too long and gives away the whole plot.  lol

SPOILERS:  Okay, so... nobody tried beheading before?  Duh!  Why is this not an obvious choice for killing a vampire?  Shit, they even knew to do that in Captain Chronos, Vampire Hunter!  Bah.  Just bugs me, the inconsistencies.  Also, in the second movie, Vampires were supposedly OCD counters of seeds and compulsive knot-untie-ers.  Which was used once in that movie and NEVER REFERRED TO AGAIN.  Nice.  lol  Way to be inconsistent.

IMPRESSIONS:  Ties everything up, so to speak.  Might see a Dracula 4 eventually, but I doubt it, since Roy Scheider (the sheriff from jaws), who played the vatican priest sending the vampire hunter off on his mission, is now deceased.  Also, well, don't want to give anything away, but it'd be hard to call the movie Dracula 4 without Dracula making an appearance.  lol  Still, might be worth a watch if you like martial arts vampire hunters doing battle with Lothos, I mean, err, Dracula.  I have seen part of this movie before, but it was still rewatchable.

OTHER NEWS:  Hurricane/Tropical Storm Sandy is making her way northwest.  Locally, we are currently getting the outermost winds from the northwest part of the storm, but we are so far away from the center (it's now just a big storm, having lost hurricane status after making landfall earlier today) that the trees are barely moving around here.  It'll turn back northeast before it even gets near us.  We might lose electricity over the next couple days due to minor flooding or downed tree limbs, but I doubt we'll have any real problems around here.  Not so the other places where it hit harder, and I hope everyone out there is being as safe as possible under the circumstances.  Last I heard there were a couple hundred people trapped by flood waters (somewhere... new york city maybe?) who had chosen to remain in their homes, and the rescue services had to retreat for their own safety, but I don't think those trapped people were in any immediate danger.  I guess we'll find out how they fared after the flood waters recede.  Good luck riding out the rest of the storm, everybody!  I think by tomorrow we'll have seen the worst of it, and by Halloween it'll all be over except for the rain.

See you guys tomorrow night if I still have electricity!

#28 - Evolver

MOVIE:  Evolver (1994)

PLOT:  A kid wins a toy robot in a virtual reality game contest and it turns out the toy robot was actually a former military program designed to create the perfect robotic soldiers.  After playing the toy robot in a real game and defeating it, Evolver begins to evolve...  and realizes, it hates to lose.

OVERALL ENJOYMENT:  Not bad.  Solid b-movie.

GOOD POINTS:  Good performances by the veteran acting cast, solid special effects for the time, even some nudity!

BAD POINTS:  No shower scene.  How can you have a scene in a girls locker room and not include a shower scene?  I am so disappointed.

SPOILERS:  I would have thought the handles on knives were thicker than those tiny balls the robot was shooting, so it would have been hard to fit them into the launchers.  Also, it would seem perfectly ludicrous to me that a programmer wouldn't include an option for the robot to eliminate a player with the toy ammunition and then program that player out of the game, instead of generating an error and causing the robot to try and find better ammo.  That just seems silly.

IMPRESSIONS:  Okay, so this movie is 18 years old.  I can't remember if I saw it before or not.  I am sure I haven't reviewed it before.  Still, reasonable plot, good acting and decent special effects overall.  It might have been more comfortable if it had been released in the 80's, but it's mere existence raises a question.  Didn't we learn enough from Evolver (1994) to know we should NEVER include military grade projects in our children's toys by the time Small Soldiers (1998) was made?  I guess not!  I'm not really sure if this movie qualifies as "horror," but as "Alien" proved, science fiction could be scary, too.  This movie is certainly not as good as "Alien," but I always include sci-fi in my horror list.  Let's put it this way, if there's a good monster in it, I love the movie!  If there isn't, well, it may still be horror, but it's not MY kind of horror.  This movie at least had a robot with a penchant for killing in it, and that qualifies as a sufficiently scary monster type for it to make my list.

OTHER NEWS:  I have a headache and I feel ill again.  For those that know me, nothing new there.  I'm probably coming down with the next virus, infection, flu or cold that's making the rounds.  Strangely, I'm usually pretty healthy during the summer months.  I need to move to florida or something where i'm always warm.  Seems to be a better environment for me.

This has been a decent month full of reviewing new movies, but I think I am going to just review what I want to watch the next few days.  If I find anything I haven't seen before and want to give it a viewing, great, but I'm tired of scouring netflix for stuff I haven't seen yet.  Frankly, most of the movies either suck, or aren't horror, which really narrows down what I can view this month.  Oh well, only 3 days left anyway.  I'll still try and find stuff I haven't reviewed before, but with over 200 posts to look through every time I want to see if I've reviewed something before, I think I'll just hope I haven't reviewed it recently and watch it for sheer enjoyment's sake.  Funny, I haven't seen Charlie Brown's Great Pumpkin so far this year.  I will look for it this week.

Also, I love watching "Trick r Treat" every year on Halloween.  If you haven't seen it, one of the best actual "Halloween" movies I've ever seen.  Everything that happens during the movie takes place ON halloween, there's lots of gore and killing and halloween ghost stories and such and so on, and it's fun to watch besides.  Something for everyone!  Reminds me of the original Halloween by John Carpenter.  Plus, Trick R Treat has actual monsters instead of just masked killers!  AND Anna Paquin!  Halloween doesn't have Anna Paquin.  So there!  :-P

Okay, I am going to get a lot of rest and watch nothing but horror the next few days.  See you guys tomorrow night for another review.  We're in the home stretch!

#27 - Devil's Playground

MOVIE: Devil's Playground (2010).  Now showing on TMC.

PLOT:  A new performance enhancing drug causes a zombie apocalypse.  A mercenary working for the company that created the drug finds out there's a person immune to the drug, and therefore may have a cure for the zombie plague.  Unfortunately, he has no idea where she is.  Tracking her down amid a horde of ravenous zombies could prove a bit difficult!

OVERALL ENJOYMENT:  Pretty good!  Better than average zombie movie.

GOOD POINTS:  Made in england, where they pay attention to acting instead of special effects and how pretty the actors are.  Which doesn't mean low budget.  This looks like it was a major production.  Plenty of gore, fast-moving zombies, lots of action.  Recognizable english veteran actors.

BAD POINTS:  So many characters going through different plots created a bit of confusion at first.  They all tie together in the end.

SPOILERS:  What's up with all the zombies knowing Parkour as soon as they turn?  lol  These baddies are leaping off walls, ceilings and stationary objects to get at their prey.  I understand the drug supposedly gives them greater strength and endurance, but how does leaping off a wall compute into food for the zombie brain?  Doesn't make sense.  Also...  Why are they scared of water?  Never explained.

IMPRESSION:  Good zombie flick.  Bunch of major english actors.  I recognized many of the faces, even if I didn't really know their names.  Plenty of action, romance, drama, regret, guilty consciences and generally human foibles to be found.  So a pretty realistic look at the end of the world.  lol

OTHER NEWS:  Lots of movie titles with "Devil" in them this month!  Also, there's a Frankenstorm headed our way, combo of Hurricane Sandy and a Nor'easter headed our way.  Typically, we don't get much snow from the nor'easters here and we are several hundred miles inland from the coast, so I doubt we'll get much more than some clouds and rain.  A thunderstorm would be nice.  But we're stocked up on food and water anyway.  Also, Hurricane Sandy is supposed to be here around Halloween, so (1) little chance of seeing that full moon on Halloween and (2) less trick or Treaters means more candy for me!  Wheeeeee!  :-D

See you guys tomorrow night.

#25 and #26 - Jeepers Creepers and Pumpkinhead

Yes, I know.  I missed my movie last night.  So tonight you get a double feature!  :-D

And yes, I HAVE seen both of tonight's features, but I had a request to review Jeepers Creepers, and Pumpkinhead was following it, so here you are!

MOVIE #25:  Jeepers Creepers (2001)  Was playing on AMC.

PLOT:  A pair of siblings are heading home on college break when they encounter a homicidal maniac driving an old truck on the road home.  Passing by his lair, they see him dumping some bloody, sheet-wrapped bodies down an old pipe.  Now they are faced with a decision...  To try and help his victims while he's away from his lair, or to go for help?

OVERALL ENJOYMENT:  Love this movie.  Rewatched it many times.

GOOD POINTS:  Suspense, good acting, early appearance by Justin Long and some veteran actors to round out the cast.  Good plot, lots of surprises.

BAD POINTS:  No nudity!  Damn.  Gina Phillips is kind of hot in a girl next door kind of way.

SPOILERS:  Love me some creature features!  As the psychic tells Derry, "Don't know whether it's a demon, or devil, or just some.. thing..." that crawled out of some damn hell hole or whatever the rest of it was.  Don't remember the full quote but that psychic was goddamn creepy.  In fact this whole movie is creepy.  I'm scared just thinking about it.  Frankly if I was the Creeper fella I'd have thought twice before going near the Cat lady, though.  She was freakin terrifying.  I thought she was undead the first time I seen her, i truly did.  lol

IMPRESSIONS:  Not only worth a watch, but worth several watches.  It's almost too much movie to take in in one viewing.  You have to watch it several times to notice all the creepiness.  And then it just keeps getting creepier, EVERY TIME!  :-o  This movie not only spawned a sequel that was almost as good, but Jeepers Creepers 3 is coming out next year!  :-D

MOVIE: #26:  Pumpkinhead (1988)

PLOT:  Ed Harley is a simple man.  He's a farmer, one of those fellas with a roadside produce stand.  He's also got a son.  A son he's very proud of, a son who is the last living remnant of his dead wife.  But now he's got a problem.  Some damn city folk done come along and rode their dirt bikes right the fuck over his little boy.  Ed Harley don't take kindly to city folk, and specially not those'uns that done kilt his boy.  So now...  Ed Harley wants vengeance.  And Ed Harley is goin to get it, one way... or t'other...

OVERALL ENJOYMENT:  Fuck yea!  Another vengeance movie!  Everyone loves a good vengeance movie!  

GOOD POINTS:  Lance Henriksen!  The man's a helluvan actor!  Good mix of backwoods mysticism and a man in a latex suit as far as special effects goes.  And George "Buck" Flower!  The legend hisself!  Well not a legend but a heckuva character actor.

BAD POINTS:  No nudity!  Well.. technically I guess Pumpkinhead isn't wearing anything...  So...  if naked vengeance demons are your thing, then (1) happy wanking and (2) you're one sick fuck.

SPOILERS:  I kind of like pumpkinhead.  I mean, for a vengeance demon, he looks like he'd be one helluva party animal.  And shit, someone gets hammered and starts anything, you've got him to back you up!  Can't go wrong there.  SAY HELLO TO MY GIGANTIC FRIEND!  YEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!

IMPRESSIONS:  B-Movie goodness!  I've only seen this movie a couple times.  It's not the best vengeance flick ever, but it's pretty good.  Lance acts his ass off, and there's lots of killing, blood, gore, blood sacrifices and so on!  Worth a watch for sure!  This movie spawned 3 sequels!

OTHER NEWS:  "Five minutes til midnight.  Enough time for one more story..."  Err, uh, i mean, one weekend before Halloween!  Yay!  Hope everyone is partying it up!  Even better, voting day coming up, that means all the political SHIT on TV will be over soon!  That's right America!  Our long national nightmare will finally be over!  At least for a few years, anyway.  (shrugs)  Also, full moon on Halloween night!  :-D

See you guys tomorrow night!

#24 - Death Machine

MOVIE:  Death Machine (1994).  On NetFlix.

PLOT:  The new CEO of Chaank industries (a weapons manufacturer), Hayden Cale, finds out that her new company is  secretly refitting the bodies of soldiers listed as MIA with Weapons hardware and testing them as the ultimate killing machine, man sized armored warriors with no fear and no disobedience.  About to shut the project down, Hayden crosses paths with the genius behind the company's success, and the inventor of it's next project...  a fully mechanical killing machine that tracks you by the scent of your fear.

OVERALL ENJOYMENT:  A bit goofy in spots, but tension is high throughout, first psychological, then full of action.  Good watch.

GOOD POINTS:  Hayden Cale (Ely Pouget) is reasonably hot.  Jack Dante (played by Brad Dourif) is over the top psychotic.  Love the name of the company.  Chaank.  It even sounds like a weapon manufacturer.  lol

BAD POINTS:  No nudity.  Sigh.  I need to watch more porn-horror.  Horror-porn?  Whore-or?  Hmmm.  New genre?  Or just your basic slasher flick from the 80's?  Hmmm.

SPOILERS:  Could have done without the armored suit guys with the missing memories.  I'm pretty sure they used them in Universal Soldier for about 3 movies.  Didn't need to parade them around again in this one.  lol  Loved the Death Machine.  Going to invent one myself right now.

IMPRESSIONS:  Fun movie.  Good acting, especially by Brad Dourif who is completely psychotic in just about any role he's ever played.  The only time I saw him play a good guy was as the Sheriff in Halloween (the latest remake).  And he was psychotic then, too, but then at least it made sense to give the crazy guy a badge and a gun.  lol  Good supporting cast in this movie.  I loved the bald guy with the facepaint!  lol  Best character in the movie, I think.  I did actually see this movie before, several times, in fact, but always a good watch.

OTHER NEWS:  I'd have scoured netflix again for a new movie to watch, but I been running the car around all day.  Get this.  Car goes to the mechanic with an intermittent window issue.  Won't go up or down half the time.  Also, the blinkers cut out now and then, doesn't happen often.  I figure, electrical issue, but I know shit-all about cars, so I let the man do his job.  He says the motors that make the windows go up and down is shot, replaces it in both doors.  Nearly $300.  We get the car back.  Still having the same problem... AND...  driver side door will not lock.  I can manually shove the button down to the lock position, and it pops right back up.  Awesome, innit?  lol  It's worse than when it went in!  Bloody 'ell, as they say across the pond.  Bloody 'ell.

Also, still not feeling great.  What started with a headache last night turned into aches and shivers.  Sounds like another flu, no?  Welcome, viral overlords.  Possess my body if you like, but at least clean up when you are done or I WILL send you the cleaning bill.  Oh yes.  I'll hit you where it hurts, baby!  Hmmm. Viral Overlords...  good novel title!  :-D

See you guys (and/or gals) tomorrow night for more horror!  Just noticed I passed 200 posts this month.  In 4 years that's ... (does some math...  uses his fingers and toes) approximately one post a week on average!  You know, when I say it like that it's not really that impressive.  Never mind.

#23 - The Gate

MOVIE:  The Gate (1987).  Available on netflix til 10/30.

PLOT:  Demons with unimaginable power who once ruled the universe find their way back into our world by way of a deep hole in a suburban backyard.  Sending their minions out into the world to obtain two human sacrifices, they try and take over the world they once ruled!  And they would have got away with it too if it wasn't for those pesky kids!

OVERALL ENJOYMENT:  Good solid B-movie.  Lots of demonic critters, even a zombie!

GOOD POINTS:  Demonic entities, zombies, corpses, possessed moths, creepy parents.

BAD POINTS:  80's special effects.  No nudity.

SPOILERS:  "Ancient demons with unimaginable power" just doesn't mean what it used to, you know?

IMPRESSIONS:  I like this movie but I have seen it before.  I don't remember reviewing it, and I'm way too headache-y to look right now.  I took an hour scouring netflix for something I haven't seen before, started a movie, realized I had seen it, and decided to watch this because netflix was getting rid of it by the 30th.  It's a solid B-movie, there's action, demons, zombies, stupid kids and teens and a demon that looks like a garden slug with arms.  What more could you ask for from the 80's?  To sum up, this is like a Disney interpretation of H.P. Lovecraft, which, still isn't that bad.

OTHER NEWS:  I has a headache.  Hopefully I can find a better movie tomorrow night.  Sorry for the short review.

#22 - Exorcismus

MOVIE:  Exorcismus (2010)  Currently on Netflix, where I watched it.

OVERALL ENJOYMENT:  Slow starter, but not bad!  Second half of the movie was pretty decent.

PLOT:  Teen girl gets possessed by satan.  Priest who recently tried to exorcise a demon from another girl tries to help her, but his last exorcism was not only a failure, but the girl died as well.  Is Satan up for round 2, or is the priest down for the count?  There's no referee in this mano-a-mano battle of wills!

GOOD POINTS:  No CGI, I don't think.  Special effects are all acting and makeup.  This is definitely NOT a "found footage" or "paranormal disasters" type of film.  All the film is high quality.  One nice twist near the end that was original and that I certainly didn't see coming.  Everyone in this film looks normal!  No teen hotties!

BAD POINTS:  No nudity again!  Sigh.  Teen girl isn't all that interesting.  Hard to identify with any of the characters, for me at least.  Another film about demonic possession, very similar to others in the genre.  Everyone in this film looks normal!  No teen hotties!  And yes, that is both a good AND bad thing.  lol

SPOILERS:  Talk about your anti-heroes!  lol  I don't want to spoil anything of the plot in case anyone wants to watch it, but this is definitely the only film of it's kind where the line between villain and hero is not only blurred, but completely erased and re-drawn.  lol  Impressive and unexpected!

IMPRESSIONS:  I thought I was going to turn it off for the first half of the film.  Seriously, you've got this teen girl, and she's going through your typical teen girl drama that I cannot identify with and don't understand, and she's not even getting naked, and nothing really of any interest happens for like the first 40 minutes of the film.  I mean, there's a lot of backstory and events leading up to where the good stuff starts, so I wouldn't recommend fast forwarding (i was SO tempted), but after that, then things turn around.  The rest of the movie was pretty decent.  We're not talking the Exorcist here, but a pretty good cage match between good and evil in the end!  Just, got to make it through that first half of the movie.  lol

OTHER NEWS:  Flu season has started!  I read this story the other day about a 17 year old high school athlete who got the flu and a MRSA (meticillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus) infection and died within days.  Basically they used the article as a hammering point for telling people that getting your flu shot is the best line of defense against the flu.  Here's my problem with the article...  There is no defense against the flu.  It mutates every year.  Saying the flu vaccine is the best defense may technically be true (since it's the only thing we have as an option), but it's like trying to stop a bullet by shooting it out of the air with another bullet.  Let me explain.

Let's say a new strain of influenza starts infecting people in October. By november or december, the new strain is identified and catalogued, and perhaps another month or two for a vaccine to be identified.  So let's say vaccine production begins on the new strain of flu by january.  It takes 6 months to grow ANY quantity of vaccine, longer for the vast amounts that would be necessary to treat the populace of any major country.  So by July of the following year, the first doses of the vaccine might be ready.  And that is the EARLIEST possible time that any doses might be available.  If you know your flu seasons, it doesn't start til october or november every year.  So that gives the drug companies a few months between july and october to make enough to package, market and distribute.  Yes, that's right.  The vaccine for last year's strain is just getting finished up right about now.  So here's another problem...

Doctors always tell you, you don't get sick from the flu vaccine.  That's mostly true!  The virus in the vaccine is either completely dead (in the case of a shot) or mostly dead (in the case of the inhalant, which you may actually catch the flu from, but the odds are slim).  So why DO people get sick from it?  I know I did.  The fever, chills, etc. is your body's way of processing the antibodies necessary to become immune to the variant that you were injected with.  You're not actually infected with the flu, it just FEELS like it, while your body reacts to one of the strains of flu in the vaccine.  Yes, ONE of...  the usual flu shot contains 3 vaccines for 3 of last year's most common varieties of influenza.  Yes, not ALL 3 varieties, just 3 of the most common ones.  There are many varieties of flu every year.  Not to mention, if there was a major outbreak (like the swine flu a few years back) they usually include a vaccine for that in addition to the 3 most common strains.

So basically, let me sum up.  IF their vaccine works EXACTLY the way they want it to, you get sick.  You might miss days of work due to your body processing a dead virus so it can make antibodies to fight off last year's flu.  This gives absolutely NO protection for THIS year's flu, since the flu strain mutates yearly to overcome your body's immune system.  However, if at that point, you DO happen to get exposed to one of those 3 strains of last year's flu (how that might happen, I have absolutely no idea...  Not even my genius brain can come up with a scenario whereby last year's flu strain slowly traveled the world and took an entire year to make its way to you), then congrats!  You MAY (i say may because not even the doctors can guarantee that the flu shot actually works) not get as sick as you might if you had just got the flu in the first place.  Money well spent.  If their vaccine fails completely (meaning, you already had all 3 of those strains of flu last year), then you don't get sick (because there's nothing new for your body to react to), and you've spent the $20 or so for nothing.  And then next year, you get to do it all again!

Oh, and in case you're one of those "man this guy is nuts!" folks, well, look it up, people.  I'm not a conspiracy theorist.  Nobody is out to get me.  This is all fact.  All this information is readily available on and off the internet.  There's no argument about the effectiveness of the flu vaccine.  Even the doctors and the pharmaceutical companies will tell you how it's made.  Quite simply, it's the only option we currently have, even if it's mostly or completely useless.  (shrugs)

I say, enjoy the flu season!  Welcome our new viral overlords, and take a few days off work to shiver, and drink hot cocoa, and catch up on your sleep.  lol  See you all tomorrow night.

#21 - Saint Nick

MOVIE:  Saint Nick (2010)

OVERALL ENJOYMENT:  Lots of action!  Zombies!  Evil Santa clauses!  So, fun.  lol

PLOT:  Saint Nick, instead of being a saintly gift-giving lover of children, is actually the undead remains of a bishop of the catholic church who, during the middle ages, roamed the countryside with his crew of "black petes" every full moon and stole food, gold and children from the populace.  Finally, one town, fed up with the taking of their children and his demands for fresh meat, burned the bishop to death.  That town was Amsterdam.  Now, whenever the full moon falls on december 5th (every 32 years or so), Saint Nick returns to Amsterdam to seek VENGEANCE!  :-o

GOOD POINTS:  About time someone told the true story of St. Nick!  I've never trusted that guy.  Watches your children all year round to see whether they've been naughty or nice, breaks into your house once a year and leaves presents under the tree for them, leaving absolutely no trace of himself except some missing cookies and milk?  CREEPY AS HELL!  How is it this guy is not already locked up in a maximum security prison?

BAD POINTS:  No nudity, despite some decent opportunities to reveal the finer points of the actresses.  Definite B-movie fare.

SPOILERS:  Man, that big bald SWAT guy had a really goddamn deep voice.  I was hoping for some mano-a-mano with him and saint nick, but it never happened.  lol  Just saying the name gives me the shivers.  Sinterklaas.  Sounds like a vicious bloodthirsty demon of hell to me.  SSSIIIINTERRRRRKLAAAASSSSSSSSSSS gah!   Sorry.  I scared myself.  Also, I think I peed just a little.

IMPRESSIONS:  Solid B-Movie.  No boobage, unfortunately, but I guess Christmas isn't exactly the most obvious holiday for nudity.  Much to my disappointment.  :-(  But, still a decent movie.  Looking forward to St. Nick 2: NEW YEAR'S VENGEANCE!  Yea, I did just make that up.  lol  Worth a watch.  Probably not twice, but at least once.  Funny in spots.  Unintentionally, I think, but I am pretty sure the movie doesn't take itself too seriously.

OTHER NEWS:  Dexter's on!  Time to go!  See you tomorrow night!  :-D

#20 - Apollo 18

MOVIE:  Apollo 18 (2011)

OVERALL ENJOYMENT:  Not much!  Very little, in fact.

PLOT:  Supposedly released footage of the final apollo 18 mission reveals an alien presence on the moon.

GOOD POINTS:  Unique aliens, i guess.

BAD POINTS:  Constant breaking up of "found footage," constant breaking up of communications, constant loss of video feed due to camera being"off."  Doubtless done to enhance the "suspense," only ended up driving me nuts.

SPOILERS:  Why would an alien-infested, wounded guy pick up a camera and start filming another guy in his sleep?  Honestly?  Also, it's at least -300 degrees fahrenheit on the moon's surface, yet the astronauts, who are in spacesuits, repeatedly mention how much colder it's getting when they go into craters.  There's no atmosphere on the moon.  It's not any colder in the craters.  If there was any change in atmosphere at all, it would be warmer since the actual presence of any atmosphere would tend to warm things up.  But they still wouldn't feel it through the suits.  That's the whole point of having the spacesuits, to protect the wearer from the environment.  They aren't big, funny-looking raincoats!

IMPRESSIONS:  I really despise these "found footage" pieces of trash.  They save money on cameras, film, acting talent and special effects by making the film quality look "old and grainy" or repeatedly cut out while the camera is supposedly "off" so they don't have to show any actual action, or only a little of it.  There's long shots of darkness or nothing while voices pantomime shit happening offscreen that we can't see, so we're supposed to use our imaginations to fill in the gaps.  I couldn't even watch Blair Witch project because of that bs, and that was the first film that used this crappy style of filming, and the novelty of it sold a few tickets.  The novelty has long since worn off.  Trying to watch this movie was like trying to watch a bad B-movie while my cable tv kept cutting out.  It's just not worth the annoyance level.  This is why I dropped satellite TV, because we'd get a lot of storms moving through our area and the TV would repeatedly cut out and you'd miss what was going on.  Just spend money on the damn film, show the action on camera, stop making the audio cut out, and you might keep a few viewers.  Currently playing on showtime or something like that.  I'm not watching it again and I recommend a pass on this one if you're even remotely interested.  Not even worth it.  The "found footage" of the astronauts having a barbecue in their yards (how that got added to the supposedly released lunar footage makes no sense either) was more interesting than the actual film.

BONUS REVIEW:  "Creature" (1984).  Not a bad little sci-fi B-movie!  Not the same "Creature" as the one I reviewed earlier this month, this one has a crew of research scientists going to rescue the crew of an archaeological dig on Jupiter's moon, Titan.  unfortunately, when they get there, they discover the archaeological dig happening to find an alien zoo.  Several of the critters were still alive after 200,000 years.  And, understandably, a bit hungry.  Bit of nudity, 80's hair, Klaus Kinski, aliens and zombies!  Can't go wrong here!

OTHER NEWS:  Watching Elizabeth Shue in Piranha (2010).  Still looking hot after all these years!  lol  See you guys tomorrow night.

#19 - Session 9

MOVIE:  Session 9 (2001)

OVERALL ENJOYMENT:  Meh.  Creepy, perhaps, not quite scary, rather confusing through most of it.

PLOT:  A group of asbestos removers manage to get the low bid on an asbestos-removing job at an old closed mental asylum.  As the days wear on, things start to get a little tense.  Then one of the workers disappears, and things start to go downhill pretty quickly.

GOOD POINTS:  Awesome location shots.  Supposedly there actually was a Danvers institution for the mentally insane or something like that.  I don't know if it was used during filming or what.  Certainly the place is creepy as hell on the inside, as only an old abandoned insane asylum could be, and I love the opposite effect once people leave the building.  The outside is as bright, sunny and cheerful as the inside is dark and oppressive, offering beautiful scenery and relaxing greenery, with birdsong aplenty.  Good acting throughout.

BAD POINTS:  Confusing story line.  Had to look up on the internet what was supposedly actually going on.  No real explanation.  Easy enough to figure out whodunnit, no surprises there, just the why of it is never really answered.  No nudity, but with this cast that's really a blessing.

SPOILERS:  Supposedly (and you may need to know this information to figure things out in the film), there was an "entity" present in the asylum and it chose one of the cast to infest.  I really hate giving away this sort of spoiler, but I spent literally the entirety of the film trying to figure out the why of it.  They give so much history to this one former patient, I was somehow trying to connect that patient and the identity of the killer, but there is apparently no real connection at all except the "entity" theory.  Which is strange because I identified the real killer right off.  They basically showed his behavior in such a way that I literally had NO doubt about who it was, an in fact, who was doing the killing didn't even seem to be the real impetus behind the film.  Mostly it was a question of why, which was never really answered, much to the film's detriment, I think.

IMPRESSIONS:  I'm still confused.  This movie is basically a confusing movie.  I would have been fine if they had given a little more evidence to one explanation or the other, or even thrown a completely new theory into play and explained it at the end, but they didn't, so I was left quite unsatisfied.  So it's basically a slow, thoughtful movie with a lot of suspense and no real consummation at the end, despite the small body count.  I might watch again just to apply the new theory I read about on the internet to what i was seeing, in hopes of it clicking in and finally adding up, but I don't think a second viewing would help much.  I would say maybe watch this one with some friends and have a discussion about possible theories afterwards?  But don't get too drunk, or some fisticuffs may result.

OTHER NEWS:  Grimm was good as usual, and apparently, they are bringing back the MUNSTERS!  :-o  Next week!  I am flabbergasted.  Munsters was one of my favorite shows growing up, mostly because the humor was better than in the Addams family.  I doubt the new show will last more than a season (these blasts from the past never do), but hey, I applaud the effort.

BONUS REVIEW:  The Lost Boys (1987)  Also saw this movie tonight.  Never reviewed it before, either, to my knowledge, mainly because it's such a cult classic and they play it during october every year!  lol  This movie was shot at the height of the 80s, starring many of the huge stars of the time.  Jami gertz, jason patric, even the "two Coreys," as they were referred to back in the 80's.  And Edward hermann, one of the most underrated character actors of our time.  Yea, the guy who played richie rich's dad!  lol  Of course, Jami Gertz's career pretty much ended with "Twister,"  Jason Patric's career pretty much ended with "Speed 2" and the corey's careers pretty much died a few years after this movie, making "dream a little dream" (and of course, one of the coreys is deceased now).  All in all I think only the older stars, dianne wiest and Edward herman, survived this movie.  However, it was actually pretty decent, had great music throughout, and was even slightly scary/creepy in spots.  Oh and of course, Keifer Sutherland pretty much made his career playing the vampire pack leader in this movie, because before this he'd only landed supporting parts and after this movie, he was (and still is, pretty much) hollywood gold.  It's a pretty strong performance by him, I must admit, and basically glues the movie together.  Worth watching for the music, fans of vampire films would also like this (and by fans of vampire films i do NOT mean Twilight fans), and good performances by keifer sutherland and most of the rest of the cast.  Seriously, was that extra Frog brother really necessary?  I know "the Lost Boys" spawned a couple awful sequels, but that kid only had like 3 lines of dialogue, tops.  lol

That's it for tonight.  I feel like an Orc peon.  "Work work work!"  Mostly because I have to run the car in for repairs first thing in the morning.  blech.

Horror movie #18 - The House Where Evil Dwells

MOVIE: The House Where Evil Dwells (1982)

OVERALL ENJOYMENT:  Loved it, but I'm partial to japanese culture, which the movie is steeped in, like properly brewed green tea.

PLOT:  A family moves to japan, and rents a beautiful 200 year old japanese house.  Unfortunately, the house is the location of an ancient tragedy involving a samurai, one of his students, and the samurai's wife.  Yes, an ancient love triangle of DEATH!  Luckily, the family managed to get it cheap because the house is rumored to be haunted.  Unfortunately, the house really IS haunted.

GOOD POINTS:  For the 80's, this was a quality horror film.  Big-name actors for the time, hot starlets, on-location shooting from the looks of it, plenty of extras and outdoor locations aplenty.  Special effects were probably very good for the time.  Also, this is probably the most in-depth look into japanese culture i have ever seen in a horror movie.  Not only do they show a brief look at ancient japan, but modern-day Japan (as it was back in the early 80's, anyway) is frequently showcased and referred to.  If you have an interest in ancient japanese history and culture (as i do), this film is probably a bonanza of interesting information for you.  Also, there's a horror story in there!  Plus nudity!  And the music is perfect!  Very immersive.

BAD POINTS:  Bit dated by today's standards.  Special effects won't give anyone nightmares.  Not terribly frightening and you pretty much know where it's going from the beginning.  Only available on netflix.  They haven't shown this one on TV in decades.

SPOILERS:  Not sure what was up with the crab scene.  Also, why the HELL didn't the wife just get out if she was getting "spooked?"  hah!  I make joke!  You laugh.  Also, wtf is up with the evil spirits cooperating to haunt the family?  Don't those spirits basically hate each other?  Must be a japanese thing.  Look for things happening in the background, too.  There's one scene where the wife is relaxedly reading a book and a Noh (japanese theater) mask is actually rocking back and forth on the wall behind her before it flies off and crashes onto the tabletop.  Something similar happened to me in reality at one point so the fear of it is not lost on me.  I may sleep poorly tonight.

IMPRESSIONS:  Back in the 80's, America had a huge hardon for japanese culture.  There were ninja movies aplenty, samurai movies, geisha movies, martial arts movies, you name it, we made a movie about it or imported them from japan and china.  I remember seeing this movie when I was a kid and being rather frightened by it.  Sure, it wasn't even that frightening, since I had been quite the horror movie aficionado even back then, but it showed me that even the japanese culture (which i also had a hardon for) had it's own ghosts, demons and spirits to contend with.  I think this movie is one of the few American (or at least, english-language) movies I have ever seen that directly mentions a tengu (evil spirit/goblin/fallen angel) as represented by a Noh mask, in addition to the wonderful japanese music played almost constantly throughout the film.  Normally, japanese music is incredibly relaxing to me.  In this film, it manages to be incredibly sad, tragic and frighteningly tense all at the same time.  Impressive!  Certainly worth a watch if only for the picture perfect snapshot of japanese culture and mythology, but the horror story isn't too bad either.  I think this is my second or third time watching it, so it definitely passes the rewatchability test, even if it has been decades between viewings.

OTHER NEWS:  Getting hard to find movies!  I either have to start watching and reviewing some otherwise crappy movies or fall back on oldies but goodies.  Or... I could branch out.  Find some sci-fi / horror to review.  Maybe some foreign horror movies.  Might work.  Only about two weeks left, I can do it!  Although technically, tonight's movie is not new, I certainly have not reviewed it before, and haven't seen it in decades.  My streak of never-before-seen movies may not be unbroken, but at least I haven't seen most of them before, and none in a long time, and hopefully I haven't reviewed any twice yet!  Like The Mummy.  lol

See you tomorrow night for more horror!

Horror Movie #17 - Devil

I have searched just about every post in my 4 years of blogging and haven't found a single review of "Devil."  So here it is!

MOVIE:  Devil (2010)

OVERALL ENJOYMENT:  Loved it.  Seen the movie a dozen times already, and will keep watching it every time.

PLOT:  A group of people get trapped in an elevator due to some electrical problems.  Mysteriously, the lights flicker out and suddenly, one of them is dead.  Is it just a murderer, or is something more sinister going on?

GOOD POINTS:  Much like last night's movie, "The Devil's Rock," this movie mostly takes place in the confined space of an elevator.  However, so that the viewer truly understands the depth of what is going on, the entire building and involvements of all the characters is gone into detail.  Acting is excellent, hollywood quality movie and production.  Special effects were certainly decent.  Mostly unknowns but a few veteran actors to round out the cast.

BAD POINTS:  No nudity, is all i can think of.  For being written by M Night shyamalan or however you spell his name, it's not bad.  He's certainly redeemed himself for "The Village." and maybe even for "Sixth sense."  Also, due to the narration by one of the cast members, you pretty much know what's going on shortly into the start of the movie.  I'm not sure if this enhances the suspense or diminishes it.  Decide for yourself.  Also, there's a very similar movie about a devil-possessed elevator, but I can't recall the name of it right now.  Probably...  Elevator.  lol  In any case, maybe not entirely original, but if i recall correctly, in that movie, the elevator did all the killing.

SPOILERS:  I followed my rule of "the least likely person probably did it." and I wasn't wrong.  lol  See, being a writer, I know how writers think.  in some movies, you are given a set of characters and part of the fun of the movie is figuring out wtf is going on, and who the bad guy actually is.  My theory is, the writer tries to fool you by making the villain the least likely person to have committed the crimes.  After viewing countless movies, detective series and whodunnits, I'm usually more right than I am wrong.  But hey, if that spoils the fun for you, don't do it.  :-)  I love how the plot twists and turns so even the detective trying to investigate the case is completely confused by what's going on.  lol

IMPRESSIONS:  Good movie.  Very rewatchable.  In the case of this movie, it doesn't matter if you know what happens or not, what's going on or not, or who's going to live or die.  Just watching the acting, the range of emotions the characters are going through, is gut-wrenching!  I remember being asked once what I thought of "An American Werewolf in Paris," a rather crappy sequel to "An American Werewolf in London."  I didn't answer right away, gathering my thoughts and trying to find the least offensive way to describe how disappointed I was in the sequel (which, actually wasn't that horrible), and then I said "Sorry, I'm still in shock from the emotional wringer the movie put me through."  Which was greeted with much laughter.  In the case of "Devil," I'd not be exaggerating.

OTHER NEWS:  Interestingly enough, Turner Classic Movies is having another horror movie marathon.  Apparently, only every wednesday night, which blows.  I really love the horror classics.  Anyway, I was going to review "The Mummy" (1959) by hammer studios tonight.  But, while taking a quick look through my posts, I come to realize, I've already reviewed it twice!  lol  Apparently, it is that good.  Also, the tale isn't as well known as Frankenstein or Dracula, so that's probably why i chose to review it several times already.  lol

Unfortunately, I also noticed a bunch of other movies that I had already reviewed that i was going to review this month.  lol  Oh well.  I'll try and keep reviewing stuff i haven't seen before, or that's very recent, and that way, I can make sure I haven't reviewed them.  See you tomorrow night for the next one!  :-)

Horror Movie #16 - The Devil's Rock

MOVIE:  The Devil's Rock (2011)

OVERALL ENJOYMENT:  Loved it!  Edge of my seat the whole time!

PLOT:  A pair of Allied commandos head to a small island to sabotage a small german gun installation in preparation for D-day.  Hearing screams while approaching their objective, they begin to wonder who's being tortured, and a sabotage mission slowly becomes a rescue mission.

GOOD POINTS:  No CGI.  Excellent effects for a B-movie.  Gore aplenty.  Half naked chick.  Great acting.  Great scenery.  This movie pretty much satisfied every requirement I could ask for in a horror movie.  I was impressed.

BAD POINTS:  Okay, you got me.  I can't think of any.  Small cast maybe?  Not enough nudity for my taste?  I'm reaching here.

SPOILERS:  Holy shit man!  Holy shit.  Most of the action in the movie happens in one room.  It's almost like one of those police thrillers where all the acting and action takes place in a police interrogation room, or something like "12 angry men" where all the action takes place in one jury room.  The acting is that good.  I was blown away.  I got pissed at my mom for interrupting the movie!  Not, "oh, I'll just pause it and go back to it in a bit"  No, this was GODDAMMIT WHO IS TAKING ME AWAY FROM THIS AWESOMENESS?  Yea, that good.  Here let me break it down for you.  One of the commandos heads into the tunnels beneath the installation, hoping to free whatever prisoners the germans are holding.  Up to this point, he thinks it's a normal mission (just a routine patrol, lol) and he and the viewers are wondering where the fuck all the germans are.  Suddenly there's a loud gunshot.  He sneaks along through the dimly lit tunnels and finds a young german soldier.  Dead.  The german soldier has shot himself through the head.  Suicide.  Apparently, all is not well at the german base.  lol  I started to realize this movie was going to be different when the two commandos were approaching the island.  The location scenery was just too goddamn pretty.  No B-movie has the budget for that kind of quality shooting.  Then when they were making their way through the woods, past little streams and rivulets and muck of the forest, I realized I was in for a fun ride!

IMPRESSIONS:  Fuck me!  When I started this bad boy I was NOT expecting this!  I find a crappy little movie I've never heard of before on Netflix, the reviews give it 4 and 5 stars and I think, "Well, for a B-movie, that's not bad, let's give it a shot."  I didn't realize, they don't mean, 4 or 5 stars for a B-movie.  They mean QUALITY GOODNESS.  I would say this is hollywood quality acting, script and plot.  Hollywood quality cinema, location shots, everything but no CGI effects.  If this movie had come out in the 80's, it would be a classic by now, ranking up there with Hammer house of horrors films.  I think the only reason it qualifies as B-movie is probably the lack of CGI effects and a huge cast.  Honestly, not only don't you need them for this movie, it would probably hurt the plot.  No point in adding filler!  This movie is perfect without it.  Make sure you fucking go to the bathroom before you start this movie or you WILL hold it til the end.  I don't care if your bladder explodes and piss shoots out your eyeballs, you'll wait to call 911 until the credits roll.  And make sure you see the end credits!  Just like "The Grey" more shit happens after they roll!  lol  Yet another reason to always watch the end credits...  been doing that for years.  Long before Ferris bueller's day off, even.  What?  You didn't know there was more at the end of Ferris bueller's day off?  Go, watch the end credits.  I'll wait.

All in all, awesome movie, worth watching again and again, like the movie "Devil."  I just found out recently that "Devil" was by M. Night Shyamalama ding dong, or whatever his name is (at least, I thought he was listed as the writer?  i could be wrong).  I've seen his other movies.  Aside from "Unbreakable" which is more a superhero movie than a horror movie, and which was saved by Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson's acting skills, I thought Sham-a-llama was pretty much done trying to trick us into believing his movies were good.  But "Devil," well, it's played about 10 times on HBO this month and I seen it every time.  I'd review it again but I already did review it, I think.  lol  I'll check, if I haven't already reviewed it, it's worth a full review of it's own.  "The Devils' Rock" is on netflix, however, not HBO.  Both excellent films.

You know I thought about starting a rating system in my blog as a way to give this movie a good score, but i can't really come up with a good one.  5 out of 5 stars just seems too simplistic.  A letter grade is misleading, because even though this is a B-movie, it deserves an A+ score.  So honestly, I guess all I can do is give my enjoyment of the movie a rating, which is "Loved it!"  There, i went back and added it to my blog.  I hope you guys can appreciate what I saw in this movie.

OTHER NEWS:  Awww, I missed the presidential debates tonight!  I feel so bad.  All that political goodness and i MISSED IT!  Actually, I think they are still on.  lol  You guys know me, I can't stand politics.  Like I care what two lying, greedy ex-lawyers want to say to each other.  Give me a break.  On the plus side, less than a month left of the political posturing and loads of bullshit, and then they shut up for a while!  Wheeeeee!  Time to play computer games in celebration!

See you tomorrow night for more horror goodness, if I can find anything to match tonight's awesomeness!

#15 - Blood and Donuts

MOVIE:  Blood and Donuts (1995)

PLOT:  A vampire wakes from a 25-year nap, renews old acquaintances and makes new friends.

GOOD POINTS:  Points for the rather realistic portrayal of waking up after 25 years.  I know sometimes even after a couple hours I can wake up all sore and stiff and ...  well.

BAD POINTS:  Emo-est vampire I have ever seen.  Worse than even Tom Cruise.  Really.  No nudity.  I would say the lead chick was hot, if you are into 1980's-era Brooke Shields lookalikes who need to trim their eyebrows a bit.

SPOILERS:  Okay, so...  he gets a little depressed, takes a nap, wakes up, feels even worse, and decides to end it all?  Man.  Do they make anti-depressants for vampires?  This guy needs an whole bottle.  Oh wait, they do, it's called BLOOD.  And you know what happens when you don't take your medication!  That's right.  The big guys in white coats hold you down, and next thing you know, you wake up tied to a bed.  Maybe that's a fun night for some people, but honestly, how do you pee while tied down.  Also, the cab driver falls, apparently has internal injuries so bad he dies, and then the lead chick electrocutes him with a car battery to bring him back to life.  And... then he's just fine after!  Wtf.  What happened to the internal injuries?  lol  No, ALL GONE!  Who knew DC current could heal broken bones and severed arteries?  The waitress in a donut shop, that's who!  Boy, she's smart.  Good thing she reads all those books at work while she's supposed to be serving the damn donuts.

IMPRESSION:  Okay, I can't say as I was overly fond of this movie.  I saw it years back and remembered it for some reason, so i thought I'd watch it again and try and figure out why i remembered this one as opposed to all the other horror movies I'd forgotten over the years.  Can't really figure out why.  It could have been the slow, deliberate way of speaking the taxi driver had, making it sound like english was his fourth or fifth language.  Might have been the uncomfortable way that the emo vampire laid his hand on the cab driver's knee while chatting to him and nodding knowingly.  Certainly the scariest part of the whole movie.  Oh, i remember it was probably the big bad villain type guy.  if anyone has ever seen "Nightbreed" (1990) he was the villain in that, too.  Similarly scary.  There's a scene in this movie where he's sitting in a bowling alley taking to one of his subordinates about scuff marks on the table and you get the impression that he's about to just KILL EVERYONE IN THE PLACE.  lol  Pretty scary stuff.  Oh, just looked him up, it's apparently David Cronenberg, the guy who directed a whole bunch of horror films, like "The Dead Zone," "Scanners" and "The Fly."  Holy shit.  I did not know that.  Now I'm impressed, not only is he a good writer and director, he's also TOTALLY CREEPY IN PERSON.  lol  In any case, as for the movie, I wouldn't say it was great and the vampire is an emotional idiot but hey, there's mobsters, killers, blood, donuts and the supernatural going on.  What have you got to lose other than an hour and a half of your life you can never get back?  Come on.  You'd have spent it watching reruns of "seinfeld," spilling beer on your t shirt, and stinking up the couch cushions with your abominable gaseous emanations.  Like that's better?

OTHER NEWS:  Got nothin!  See you tomorrow night for movie #16!

#14 - Legion of the Dead

MOVIE:  Legion of the Dead (2005)

PLOT:  An egyptian burial chamber is found in the wilds of southern california.  Inside, an egyptian priestess is found entombed with 6 of her chosen servants.  Trying to translate the heiroglyphics on the walls, a graduate student accidentally resurrects her from the dead!  :-o

GOOD POINTS:  Nice body on the egyptian priestess.  A bit of nudity.  Bruce Boxleitner, who's apparently short of work.  Cute female lead, if a bit chunky in the arse department.  I... like big butts and... i cannot lie?

BAD POINTS:  Strictly B-movie.  I did not realize before I got into the movie that I had actually seen it on Syfy some years back.  lol  Happens way too often.  Egyptian priestess looks more like she stepped out of a new jersey manicurist instead of a 4000 year old tomb.  Special effects were horrible.

SPOILERS:  Female heroine is an idiot.  First, she gets drunk and sleeps with her professor, pissing off her then-boyfriend, who she HADN'T slept with yet.  Apparently speaks ancient egyptian so well that she can write him love-notes in it hoping to get him to forgive her, yet can't seem to understand the mummy once she's resurrected from the dead (who she meets first, realizes she only speaks ancient egyptian, then thinks nothing of it when another professor whom she just met introduces the "mummy" as his assistant).  Also, meets someone who speaks only 4000-year old egyptian, and then.. proceeds to NOT actually talk to her the whole rest of the movie.  Because, when your specialty is ancient languages and you meet someone who's speaking something no one has ever heard pronounced correctly before, it's nothing major.  Happens all the time!

IMPRESSIONS:  Hey there's boobage and nudity.  It's a B-movie, whaddya want?  Plus, there's bruce boxleitner AND zach galligan, from gremlins!  Come on!  How much more could you ask for in something that was on syfy?

OTHER NEWS:  Dexter And homeland were decent.  I think Deb needs to get naked more.  I really miss the naked Deb from the first season.  Also, what the FUCK are they doing to poor claire danes character on Homeland?  Poor thing!  Well at least she got some good news tonight.  :-D  Found out she was RIGHT!  No matter how crazy she is, she was RIGHT!  Hmmm.  Sounds like House.  Why do they always have to make geniuses out to be nutty as fruitcakes?  I'm a genius and I am not nutty...  uh....  all previous blog posts to the contrary.  lol

That's all for tonight.  Hope to find something better to watch soon!  :-D

#13 - Gargoyles: Wings of Darkness

MOVIE:  Gargoyles: Wings of Darkness (2004)

PLOT:  CIA Agent in bucharest following up a missing persons report on an american citizen is astounded to discover living gargoyles.

BAD POINTS:  Low budget.  Bit short on showing the gargoyles in action.  CGI effects weren't too horrid, but not great.  No nudity.  For a perfect location like romania they spend little time building atmosphere.  Interestingly enough, there have been several other gargoyle movies made over the years and I think this one is probably one of the worse ones.

GOOD POINTS:  Flows pretty nicely.  Decent amount of action, both human and gargoyle.  Little bit of history and a few views of an old monastery on a hilltop that looked pretty cool.  Frankly, I've always wanted to own a castle.  Decent acting by some older veteran actors.  This was also the first time I have seen this movie.

IMPRESSIONS:  Not bad.  Pretty much a B-movie.  Michael pare is the main lead in this.  Most younger viewers won't know him very well, he was pretty major in the 80's but dropped out of sight in the 1990's with some bad movies.  "Bad Moon" with mariel hemingway was probably one of his better films, and certainly one of the better werewolf movies I have seen.  If you don't know who mariel Hemingway is (granddaughter of ernest, maybe?), then look her up.  This movie won't compare well to Bad Moon but it's not bad for a viewing.  Maybe i can find that on netflix and give that a review!

SPOILERS:  Nothing really bugs me about this movie.  I don't recall any continuity errors.  Although whenever someone's phone rang it was a moment of confusion as everyone reached for their phones.  it got annoying after the first couple times.  Hasn't anyone heard of Vibrate?  There was a little history of some ancient gargoyle-slaying sect of monks that I found interesting fiction but it didn't last long and apparently was just an opportunity to show off the romanian castle location for a few minutes.  I'll take it, it was a cool aerial view.  lol

OTHER NEWS:  I got nothin!  Watched Thing (2011) again tonight before this.  Getting hard to find good movies I haven't seen before on Netflix, and when the day comes that i spend too long searching for a decent movie instead of watching a decent movie, I turn to the oldies but goodies.  lol  See you tomorrow night for more dexter, homeland and horror!

# 12 - The Shrine

Continuing my streak of unseen movies yet again!

MOVIE:  The Shrine (2010)

PLOT:  A reporter out to make her career hears about the disappearance of an american in poland.  Against the wishes of her editor, she flies an intern, herself and her boyfriend out to try and track down what happened to him.

BAD POINTS:  No nudity, despite ample opportunity for it.  Two reasonably hot female cast members, too.  Sigh.  Also, half the movie is in polish.  I turned on the english subtitles and was treated to:  "speaking in native language" through half the dialogue.  lol  Luckily, I speak polish, so I've left a rough translation of the main scene in spoilers, below.

GOOD POINTS:  Beautifully done!  Well acted, well shot, special effects were reasonably disturbing without being CGI or latex-involved. Most of the plot twists were completely unexpected, and I am pretty sure I've never seen them in a horror movie like this before.

SPOILERS:  Right, here's the translation:  "Oh flying spaghetti monster, we leave you this basket of fried chicken in the hopes of your divine intervention.  You see, I haven't been laid in months, and what I'd really like is a hot date with an american pole dancer with big titties.  No, make that huge titties.  Thank you, oh flying spaghetti monster!  We worship your noodly appendages!  All of them!  Plus, we think you'd taste great with meatballs and sauce.  Yours truly, Chad."  At least, I am pretty sure that's what he said during the main sacrifice scene.  My polish might be a little rusty, it's been 32 years.  I know "tack" means yes in polish.  So does "Baaa-aaaa."  Or maybe that's new zealanderese.  Gah, I speak so many languages, I get messed up.  Also, I think the statue is of a goblin.  lol

IMPRESSIONS:  Okay, I jest.  I have NO idea what the polish lines were, but I liked this movie.  Pleasantly surprised.  The reviews on netflix were mixed.  I have seen a lot of the reviews on netflix mention that there are no english subtitles but have never run into it myself until now.  All the movies I've seen so far have had english subtitles by the time i caught them, so hopefully at some point this one might too.  But, you can basically figure out what they are saying through most of the movie, through the actions of the characters.  Body language speaks volumes.  Also, they mention how the characters make horrible decisions throughout the movie.  I was thinking something along the lines of a Friday the 13th movie, but basically it's just one character that makes the bad decisions, and the other two are sort of caught between just abandoning her to her fate and helping her, and it's really hard to choose to just leave her at that point.  Just shows how one person's stupid decisions can really fuck up another person's life.

Definitely worth a watch, even without knowing what they are saying through half the movie.  Just watch the action and it doesn't really matter what's being said, although you can pretty much guess most of it isn't good for the main characters.  lol  Worth watching again once they get the subtitles in, if ever.

OTHER NEWS:  Decided to re-sort my Netflix instant queue and found this one just waiting there for me.  Might have a few other ones laying around in there to watch.  Also, I have a DVD collection of old drive-in movies that have a lot of crappy old horror movies on them that I probably have never seen before, so if netflix runs out I can always search those.  Might even make it til the end of the month without reviewing any movies I have reviewed before, but I may do double features some nights.  There's a ton of classics I want to watch this month like The Fog, Darkness Falls, Halloween, Phantoms...  There's a huge list.  We'll see what I can squeeze in before Halloween night.  Definitely getting into the  halloween spirit.  Or, it could be all the halloween candy I have already scarfed.  The kids will be lucky if I leave them a few torn wrappers with melted choco-bits on the insides.  lol

See you tomorrow night for #13!  Wheeee!  Riding the chocolate high into the wee hours tonight.  :-D

#11 - Night of the Scarecrow

Well, I was hoping to get farther than 10 movies, but I knew it had to happen sometime.  I've run out of good horror movies to watch.  I know!  Unbelievable, isn't it?  I must have scoured netflix for HOURS tonight.  Managed to start and stop about a half a dozen movies that looked decent at first glance, only to realize I had either seen them before, or that they were ridiculously horrible.  I'm not even talking B-movie horrible, but so horrible they bankrupted the movie company that made them, AND killed the careers of the actors that tried to act in them.  Yea, that bad.  So, tonight's movie is one that I don't THINK i've seen before, but it looked like it was one of those made for TV ones, and I may have forgotten it.  Still, it wasn't horrible.

MOVIE:  Night of the Scarecrow.  No, not DARK night of the scarecrow, or Scarecrows (both good movies).

PLOT:  Some ancient moldy old warlock is broken out of his tomb by a drunken idiot, and takes the form of a nearby scarecrow to exact revenge against the descendants of the people that killed him.

GOOD POINTS:  Some nudity, in a move that looks made for TV!  :-o  Shocking.  Ancient warlocks returning from the grave is always a good plot device.  Decent acting.  Lots of gore.

BAD POINTS:  Could have done better with the lead characters.  A slut and a dumb-as-a-brick foreman don't scream "heroic!" to me.  Special effects weren't exactly good.  Deaths were sort of silly.

IMPRESSIONS:  Not bad.  I've seen worse.  It was entertaining, rolled quite easily from one scene to the next, and the veteran actors who played the older townsfolk were good in their roles, if a bit over the top.  Short and to the point, too, so it didn't drag along at all.

SPOILERS:  Honestly, I was kind of rooting for the scarecrow.  Seriously, this chick blows into town to say hi to her family and within 3 minutes of driving up in front of the town hall, she's making slut-eyes at some guy who looks like he would have licked his hand and smoothed back his greasy hair if he were ten years older.  And these two are the heroes of the film?  Sort of scraping the bottom of the barrel, were we?  i thought they were going to be the first ones to die!  lol  Let the poor scarecrow have his book back and buy him a hooker already.

OTHER NEWS:  Shit, I may have to start reviewing things I have seen before but haven't reviewed before.  And since I'm way too lazy to go back through and read every one of my blog posts (there's almost 4 years worth) I MAY review something i've reviewed before.  But don't hold me to it.  There's always the classics to fall back on, certainly some I've never reviewed before, but have seen numerous times.  We'll see what I can dig up tomorrow night.  Supposedly, there's a horrorfest starting on some channel on the 13th and going til the 31st, so maybe i'll get lucky and they won't show the same tired old stuff.  lol

I caught "Last Resort" before the vp debates tonight.  I did not, of course, watch the debates.  By all accounts, Joe biden couldn't form a coherent sentence with help from a harvard graduate, and the other guy is 42 years old.  I'm 42 years old, and I can't even imagine what would happen if I was president.  Anarchy in the streets, riots in the cities, blood on the highway, drugs in your kids' hands, your daughter knocked up, and that's just the first 100 days.  What?  Well yea, that IS my running platform.  Who doesn't want drugs and drunken orgies with hot chicks?  I'm going to be a two-term president FOR SURE!  :-D

Err, anyway, "Last Resort"...  Meh.  Really starting to lose interest.  A thug with like half a dozen guys with guns manages to kill a member of the crew of this rogue submarine, and they get away with it?  Look, they scared the SHIT out of washington with detonating a nuke off the coast in the first or second episode already, and they can't take care of a damn machete-wielding thug?  Please.  I'm willing to take some shit for the sake of the plot, but that's a LOT of shit.  lol  Just gut him already.  From his violence level and the supposed "cargo" he had to deliver, he's probably a drug runner anyway.  Just kill him and pull out if you have to.  I mean, the commander is blockaded in, surrounded, lost the electronic edge they had, and it's not even like he has walls to hide behind.  There's a whole OCEAN out there, and hiding on an island where everyone knows where you are, sure as HELL isn't going to get you anywhere.  It's the first rule of being a submarine commander...  Once they locate you, you're dead!

That's all for tonight.  Feeling back to my usual self.  See you guys tomorrow for #12!  Let's hope I can find something good.

Horror movie #10 - Thing

Yes!  I have been waiting for this movie for DECADES!  I usually check the TV listings before I hop into netflix, and tonight I got lucky!  AND, i haven't seen this movie or reviewed it before!  So my streak is unbroken!

MOVIE:  Thing (2011)

PLOT:  Prequel to the 1982 movie "The Thing" with Kurt Russell, "Thing" explains the events leading up to the beginning of that movie.  Basically, some swedish scientists manning their antarctic post find an alien spacecraft under the ice, and an alien visitor who's managed to survive 100,000 years buried in the antarctic ice.

GOOD POINTS:  It's the prequel to one of the best classic horror movies ever made!  It explains what happens, how they found out, what the shit was going on, it's everything!  it's the WHOLE WORLD, man!  What?  No, I am not high right now, as far as you know.  Seriously, good production values, it was either some of the best CGI I've ever seen, or they used real aliens.  Decent acting, lead hero is female for a change, tons of action, lots of big boomy explosions, fire, bullets, hot lead flying everywhere, ninjas, indians, sumo wrestlers, this movie has it ALL!  Uh... I may have been exaggerating about the ninjas and sumo wrestlers.  And the indians.

BAD POINTS:  Hmm...  it IS a prequel, so...  we kind of know how it ends.  No nudity, unless you count the alien.  Pretty sure it was naked in almost every scene.  If you like the idea of naked, bloodthirsty aliens running around, this is the movie for you.  None of the actors are very well known as far as i can tell.  Half the cast speaks swedish, so there's subtitles half the time.  Hmmm.  I was pretty engrossed in the movie up til one point, which i will discuss in spoilers...

SPOILERS:  I'm hopefully not giving away anything too revealing, but I like the way they ended the movie during the write ups, basically showing exactly what happened just before the beginning of the movie "The Thing." (1982)  So here's one problem I have with this movie, one of the characters mentions to the other that they could tell the other was a human because of the earring in HIS ear.  Now, this makes sense for the film, but not the time frame.  Men wearing earrings may be common now, but back in the 80's, especially the early 80's when this movie was set, being gay or even being thought of as gay (such as wearing an earring) was a bad thing.  I don't have any issues with gay people (nor have I ever), but back in the 80's, things were different.  I'm fairly certain an american helicopter pilot (which was the guy supposedly wearing an earring) who probably served in the military (just guessing from the location and the time frame) did not, in fact, wear an earring around his buddies back in 1982.  Just sayin.  It was enough to make me go "wait a minute, guys didn't wear earrings back then!"  even in the middle of the action, so, kind of a downer.  (shrugs)  It may be explainable in retrospect, but kind of ruins the immersion factor, much like Cordy's bikini scene back in the series "Angel."

What, you don't know about that?  Well, let me recap.  QUICK RECAP OFF TOPIC:  During the "Buffy the vampre slayer" series, the character Cordelia falls into a basement after a floor collapses and impales herself on a protruding steel bar, through the back and out her stomach.  She ends up living through it.  Then the spinoff series, "Angel" starts, and Cordelia's character moves over to that.  She has a bikini scene in the first season, probably to try and bring in male viewers.  Unfortunately, they forgot that two short years previous, according to the character's history, that person was impaled.  Needless to say, there wasn't an ounce of scar tissue visible, either front or back.  And honestly, she had on a bikini, so obviously I was looking closely at her body.  lol  So, I am talking to my friend who, at the time, was loving the show and constantly on the online forums, talking about "Buffy," and I mention to her (since i have a fair amount of scar tissue myself) "Hey!  There should be scar tissue!  Nobody heals completely that fast!"  Which, certainly could have been done magically (willow, another character, was a witch) and explained that way, but they never showed that.  So, like a month later, this news story comes out about Charisma Carpenter (the actual actress who played Cordelia) having been impaled similarly back when she was 6.  And I politely went (cough) BULLSHIT (cough, cough).  lol  Scar tissue takes a LONG time to heal, if ever, in case you don't know.

IMPRESSIONS:  I loved "Thing!"  Ever since I've seen "The Thing From Another World," which was based off of the story "Who Goes There?" by some guy i can't remember, I've loved this sort of story.  I've seen both that movie (which was done in 1954), and "the Thing" (1982) dozens of times.  I'll probably watch this one a dozen times too.  With any luck, they'll make an actual sequel to the 1982 movie.  There's way too many possibilities with this sort of story.  Maybe they'll even get Kurt Russell to reprise his role!  :-D  Hmm, maybe Wilford Brimley, too!  lol  Maybe about 25 years after the events of the first movie, there's an actual outbreak of the alien into the world population, and they call in Kurt Russell to consult?  or is that too "Aliens?"  Eh, we'll see.

OTHER NEWS:  Two other things I want to review tonight.  One, i saw the movie "cowboys and Aliens" the other night.  Also, i saw the premiere of the series "Chicago Fire" tonight.

Cowboys and Aliens:  Didn't like it.  I hesitate to say "hate" about a movie with aliens, alien technology, spaceships and so on, but honestly, didn't really like it much at all.  First off, Daniel Craig. I mean, I've heard people say Keanu Reeves and Nicholas Cage can't act, but compared to Daniel Craig, those guys are Gene Hackman and ...  some other...  good actor.  yea.  I'm convinced the only reason they pick guys like this is because (1) they are related to someone famous (nicholas cage, for example), or (2) they were formerly models of some kind and/or look good on screen.  Anyone who looks decent and is related to someone famous is virtually guaranteed an acting career in today's hollywood.  The only redeeming points were Harrison Ford's performance and Olivia Wilde just standing around being gorgeous (rule #2).  And no, Olivia Wilde does not get naked.  Well technically she does but they don't show anything.  Funniest part of the movie, Olivia Wilde is standing naked in front of a tribe of indians and cowboys and Daniel Craig (the only gay guy in the cast) feels the need to cover her up!  lol  WTF DUDE!  Don't ruin it for everyone!  lol  Talk about an inside joke!  The look of disgust on his face while he did it, omg I laughed so hard.  lol  Like "EW A NAKED CHICK!!  ICKY!!!"  lol

Chicago Fire:  Eh, not a bad start.  Jesse Spencer is, I think, the blonde guy in the lead role.  Most of us will remember him from his days on "House."  Basically, a fire company loses a fireman in an accident, and both sides of the firehouse (the rescue squad and the actual firemen) blame each other for it, especially the two leaders of each side.  There's some bad feelings and some other emotional crap going on, not that I pay any attention to that.  No aliens, so of course I am losing interest already, but one good point, Lauren German!  She's...  well, basically goddamn gorgeous.  Been following her career as much as I have been able to, though she's not in any monster movies.  Mostly bit parts and supporting roles so far for her.  In this she plays a paramedic or EMT or whatever they call them nowadays.  Maybe the show will need to pull in male viewers and she'll have a partial nude scene!  :-D

That's all for tonight!  Ten new movies, ten new reviews!  Plus a couple of bonus ones!  Also, I'm feeling a lot better, but not back to normal quite yet.  See you guys tomorrow for #11!

#9 - Werewolf: The Beast Among us

Continuing the streak of movies I haven't seen before...

MOVIE:  Werewolf: The Beast Among Us

PLOT:  A werewolf is pestering the countryside near a quaint village possibly in the 18th or 19th centuries.  A team of werewolf hunters comes to town to dispatch the beast.

GOOD POINTS:  This is exactly the type of B-movie horror that I love.  First, Werewolves are my favorite monsters.  Second, they didn't try to make this anything but a B-movie.  The acting was solid (except for probably the lead werewolf hunter), there was a smattering of known stars (the likes of nia peeples and stephen rea) mixed in with a bunch of unknowns trying to make a mark.  The special effects were your basic CGI effects, but where are you going to find real werewolves to play the roles outside of transylvania?  Besides, real werewolves ask exorbitant prices, as everyone knows, so only the A-list movies can afford the real ones.  The plot was full of action, there was your basic "who the hell is the werewolf?" scenario (always seems to be the same one), and it worked fine for the movie because I actually had no idea who the hell it was til the werewolf itself found out!  I even went by my standard rule, always assume it's the least likely person, and that's usually the bad guy!  And I was WRONG this time!  :-o  lol

BAD POINTS:  It is just a B-movie.  Not really any plot surprises except the identity of the werewolfy.  Otherwise just your standard werewolf movie.  Setting this time was a couple centuries back, they had guns but still lit their homes with torches, which seems reasonable enough.  There was this house in the beginning that had torches on either side of the front door that reminded me of my house in Minecraft which made me laugh and took me out of the movie a bit, but I am pretty sure it wasn't intentional.  lol  Other than that, no surprises here.  Could have done without "flamethrower chick."  I don't know where she managed to find a working flamethrower in the 18th century.  Eh whatever.  It's rarely used, so not a big deal.  Also, no nudity again!  in a b-movie?  What the hell is the world coming to.  Ripped apart bodies laying in the street, organs spilling out, but no boobs?  Is this what we are teaching our children?

IMPRESSIONS:  I liked it.  Good popcorn movie.  In fact, I ate popcorn while watching it.  lol  Lots of blood and gore, exploding heads, monsters aplenty, human and animal, couple hot chicks for eye candy, can't really go wrong with this movie.  I think if the lead werewolf hunter (and maybe the werewolf) had been cast with another actor, maybe someone a little more famous, we might have had a series out of this.  I would probably watch this again sometime, maybe next october.  I love a good werewolf movie.

SECOND REVIEW:  Call this one #9.5.  I originally planned to review "Parents" tonight, an 80's movie starring Randy Quaid, one because I love randy's quaid acting skills and I didn't think I had seen it before, but about halfway through I began to realize I may have seen it a long time back.  Or maybe i just caught the latter half of it way back in my late teens when it came out, I don't know, but it began to seem very familiar as i was watching it.  In any case, let me sum up in case you are interested, because I know i haven't reviewed it before...

Parents:  A boy and his parents move to a new town.  He's a weird boy, he goes to a weird school, he has weird friends, but that's nothing compared to his parents.  They love meat!  They have so much of it, the boy begins to wonder where it all comes from.  And then he finds out...

This movie was done back in the 80's and was set in the 50's, so it's definitely dated material by now, but they had an aerial shot of some houses that looked like it actually HAD been shot in the 50's, so it was sort of cool to see what houses and things looked like back then.  Not like it was a thousand years ago or anything, but it set the mood for the movie.  I wasn't too keen on the movie, either.  Randy Quaid did an awesome job, was definitely high-end scary shit, but the movie was predictable and the main character is a ten year old boy, so it's a little hard to identify with him.  I suppose this might appeal to young teens, maybe the twilight crowd, if they're weird enough, but as an adult, all I could really manage was to admire Randy Quaid's acting talents and marvel at how freakin weird all the people in this movie turned out to be.  I am pretty sure everyone in the 50's and 80's was nuts.  Including the colon!  More of a dark comedy than anything else, i suppose.

OTHER NEWS:  No gnews is good gnews, with Gary Gnu, as they used to say.  I'm feeling a smidgen better, hearing the weather should be warming up a few degrees next week so it looks good for fall pictures, and nobody pissed me off today!  I was afraid i'd have to go on a three-state killing spree.  Yea, I know, AGAIN?  The voices in my head said the same thing.  Even they are tired of the bloodshed.  You know when even the crazy parts of you are getting tired of the sheer craziness, it's time to call it a day!  And so I am.

See you guys tomorrow for #10.