Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Horror movie #10 - Thing

Yes!  I have been waiting for this movie for DECADES!  I usually check the TV listings before I hop into netflix, and tonight I got lucky!  AND, i haven't seen this movie or reviewed it before!  So my streak is unbroken!

MOVIE:  Thing (2011)

PLOT:  Prequel to the 1982 movie "The Thing" with Kurt Russell, "Thing" explains the events leading up to the beginning of that movie.  Basically, some swedish scientists manning their antarctic post find an alien spacecraft under the ice, and an alien visitor who's managed to survive 100,000 years buried in the antarctic ice.

GOOD POINTS:  It's the prequel to one of the best classic horror movies ever made!  It explains what happens, how they found out, what the shit was going on, it's everything!  it's the WHOLE WORLD, man!  What?  No, I am not high right now, as far as you know.  Seriously, good production values, it was either some of the best CGI I've ever seen, or they used real aliens.  Decent acting, lead hero is female for a change, tons of action, lots of big boomy explosions, fire, bullets, hot lead flying everywhere, ninjas, indians, sumo wrestlers, this movie has it ALL!  Uh... I may have been exaggerating about the ninjas and sumo wrestlers.  And the indians.

BAD POINTS:  Hmm...  it IS a prequel, so...  we kind of know how it ends.  No nudity, unless you count the alien.  Pretty sure it was naked in almost every scene.  If you like the idea of naked, bloodthirsty aliens running around, this is the movie for you.  None of the actors are very well known as far as i can tell.  Half the cast speaks swedish, so there's subtitles half the time.  Hmmm.  I was pretty engrossed in the movie up til one point, which i will discuss in spoilers...

SPOILERS:  I'm hopefully not giving away anything too revealing, but I like the way they ended the movie during the write ups, basically showing exactly what happened just before the beginning of the movie "The Thing." (1982)  So here's one problem I have with this movie, one of the characters mentions to the other that they could tell the other was a human because of the earring in HIS ear.  Now, this makes sense for the film, but not the time frame.  Men wearing earrings may be common now, but back in the 80's, especially the early 80's when this movie was set, being gay or even being thought of as gay (such as wearing an earring) was a bad thing.  I don't have any issues with gay people (nor have I ever), but back in the 80's, things were different.  I'm fairly certain an american helicopter pilot (which was the guy supposedly wearing an earring) who probably served in the military (just guessing from the location and the time frame) did not, in fact, wear an earring around his buddies back in 1982.  Just sayin.  It was enough to make me go "wait a minute, guys didn't wear earrings back then!"  even in the middle of the action, so, kind of a downer.  (shrugs)  It may be explainable in retrospect, but kind of ruins the immersion factor, much like Cordy's bikini scene back in the series "Angel."

What, you don't know about that?  Well, let me recap.  QUICK RECAP OFF TOPIC:  During the "Buffy the vampre slayer" series, the character Cordelia falls into a basement after a floor collapses and impales herself on a protruding steel bar, through the back and out her stomach.  She ends up living through it.  Then the spinoff series, "Angel" starts, and Cordelia's character moves over to that.  She has a bikini scene in the first season, probably to try and bring in male viewers.  Unfortunately, they forgot that two short years previous, according to the character's history, that person was impaled.  Needless to say, there wasn't an ounce of scar tissue visible, either front or back.  And honestly, she had on a bikini, so obviously I was looking closely at her body.  lol  So, I am talking to my friend who, at the time, was loving the show and constantly on the online forums, talking about "Buffy," and I mention to her (since i have a fair amount of scar tissue myself) "Hey!  There should be scar tissue!  Nobody heals completely that fast!"  Which, certainly could have been done magically (willow, another character, was a witch) and explained that way, but they never showed that.  So, like a month later, this news story comes out about Charisma Carpenter (the actual actress who played Cordelia) having been impaled similarly back when she was 6.  And I politely went (cough) BULLSHIT (cough, cough).  lol  Scar tissue takes a LONG time to heal, if ever, in case you don't know.

IMPRESSIONS:  I loved "Thing!"  Ever since I've seen "The Thing From Another World," which was based off of the story "Who Goes There?" by some guy i can't remember, I've loved this sort of story.  I've seen both that movie (which was done in 1954), and "the Thing" (1982) dozens of times.  I'll probably watch this one a dozen times too.  With any luck, they'll make an actual sequel to the 1982 movie.  There's way too many possibilities with this sort of story.  Maybe they'll even get Kurt Russell to reprise his role!  :-D  Hmm, maybe Wilford Brimley, too!  lol  Maybe about 25 years after the events of the first movie, there's an actual outbreak of the alien into the world population, and they call in Kurt Russell to consult?  or is that too "Aliens?"  Eh, we'll see.

OTHER NEWS:  Two other things I want to review tonight.  One, i saw the movie "cowboys and Aliens" the other night.  Also, i saw the premiere of the series "Chicago Fire" tonight.

Cowboys and Aliens:  Didn't like it.  I hesitate to say "hate" about a movie with aliens, alien technology, spaceships and so on, but honestly, didn't really like it much at all.  First off, Daniel Craig. I mean, I've heard people say Keanu Reeves and Nicholas Cage can't act, but compared to Daniel Craig, those guys are Gene Hackman and ...  some other...  good actor.  yea.  I'm convinced the only reason they pick guys like this is because (1) they are related to someone famous (nicholas cage, for example), or (2) they were formerly models of some kind and/or look good on screen.  Anyone who looks decent and is related to someone famous is virtually guaranteed an acting career in today's hollywood.  The only redeeming points were Harrison Ford's performance and Olivia Wilde just standing around being gorgeous (rule #2).  And no, Olivia Wilde does not get naked.  Well technically she does but they don't show anything.  Funniest part of the movie, Olivia Wilde is standing naked in front of a tribe of indians and cowboys and Daniel Craig (the only gay guy in the cast) feels the need to cover her up!  lol  WTF DUDE!  Don't ruin it for everyone!  lol  Talk about an inside joke!  The look of disgust on his face while he did it, omg I laughed so hard.  lol  Like "EW A NAKED CHICK!!  ICKY!!!"  lol

Chicago Fire:  Eh, not a bad start.  Jesse Spencer is, I think, the blonde guy in the lead role.  Most of us will remember him from his days on "House."  Basically, a fire company loses a fireman in an accident, and both sides of the firehouse (the rescue squad and the actual firemen) blame each other for it, especially the two leaders of each side.  There's some bad feelings and some other emotional crap going on, not that I pay any attention to that.  No aliens, so of course I am losing interest already, but one good point, Lauren German!  She's...  well, basically goddamn gorgeous.  Been following her career as much as I have been able to, though she's not in any monster movies.  Mostly bit parts and supporting roles so far for her.  In this she plays a paramedic or EMT or whatever they call them nowadays.  Maybe the show will need to pull in male viewers and she'll have a partial nude scene!  :-D

That's all for tonight!  Ten new movies, ten new reviews!  Plus a couple of bonus ones!  Also, I'm feeling a lot better, but not back to normal quite yet.  See you guys tomorrow for #11!

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