Sunday, October 14, 2012

#14 - Legion of the Dead

MOVIE:  Legion of the Dead (2005)

PLOT:  An egyptian burial chamber is found in the wilds of southern california.  Inside, an egyptian priestess is found entombed with 6 of her chosen servants.  Trying to translate the heiroglyphics on the walls, a graduate student accidentally resurrects her from the dead!  :-o

GOOD POINTS:  Nice body on the egyptian priestess.  A bit of nudity.  Bruce Boxleitner, who's apparently short of work.  Cute female lead, if a bit chunky in the arse department.  I... like big butts and... i cannot lie?

BAD POINTS:  Strictly B-movie.  I did not realize before I got into the movie that I had actually seen it on Syfy some years back.  lol  Happens way too often.  Egyptian priestess looks more like she stepped out of a new jersey manicurist instead of a 4000 year old tomb.  Special effects were horrible.

SPOILERS:  Female heroine is an idiot.  First, she gets drunk and sleeps with her professor, pissing off her then-boyfriend, who she HADN'T slept with yet.  Apparently speaks ancient egyptian so well that she can write him love-notes in it hoping to get him to forgive her, yet can't seem to understand the mummy once she's resurrected from the dead (who she meets first, realizes she only speaks ancient egyptian, then thinks nothing of it when another professor whom she just met introduces the "mummy" as his assistant).  Also, meets someone who speaks only 4000-year old egyptian, and then.. proceeds to NOT actually talk to her the whole rest of the movie.  Because, when your specialty is ancient languages and you meet someone who's speaking something no one has ever heard pronounced correctly before, it's nothing major.  Happens all the time!

IMPRESSIONS:  Hey there's boobage and nudity.  It's a B-movie, whaddya want?  Plus, there's bruce boxleitner AND zach galligan, from gremlins!  Come on!  How much more could you ask for in something that was on syfy?

OTHER NEWS:  Dexter And homeland were decent.  I think Deb needs to get naked more.  I really miss the naked Deb from the first season.  Also, what the FUCK are they doing to poor claire danes character on Homeland?  Poor thing!  Well at least she got some good news tonight.  :-D  Found out she was RIGHT!  No matter how crazy she is, she was RIGHT!  Hmmm.  Sounds like House.  Why do they always have to make geniuses out to be nutty as fruitcakes?  I'm a genius and I am not nutty...  uh....  all previous blog posts to the contrary.  lol

That's all for tonight.  Hope to find something better to watch soon!  :-D

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