What the HELL is up with clams?
No, seriously, what? The? Hell? I get invited to this clambake sometime last week, and there was other food there so it's not like I went hungry, ya know what I'm saying? But we get to the clambake, actually more of a clam boil portion of the evening.
Now, I haven't had clams in a while, so I am already worried. I mean, why haven't I had clams in a while? I am on a seafood diet. If I see food, I eat it. So why not clams? WHY THE FUCK NOT CLAMS, DO YOU GET ME?????
So I get a couple of these little bad boys on my plate, and I got one hand on my beer and I try and pry these little fuckers out of the shell with one hand and it's just all squishy, covered in hot butter sauce, and just let me be clear on this, clams look like shit. They are the least appetizing of any of the goddamn shellfish. Fucking snails in hot sauce would look tastier, I think. At least they'd be uniformly gross.
Let me try and describe the sight for you. Take a white lace doily. You know, one of those things your grandmother had on her coffee table before you puked on it and ruined it forever. Then slap a slightly burnt pancake on top of it. Right in the fucking middle of the doily. No, go do it now, I'll wait. No, shut up, GO. Back now? Ok, good, now make some mashed potatoes. No, i'm not going to make them, fuck you, I hate mashed potatoes. Slap a spoonful of those on there. Good. Now take some sour cream. Slap that in a pile right next to the pile of slimy, disgusting mashed (BLEEARGH) potatoes. Did you do it? Looks disgusting, doesn't it? Wait, I'm not done. Now take a water balloon, and fill it with piss. If you're a guy, this is relatively easy. If you're a chick you might need help. No, it's got to be either a white or clear balloon. Now gently drop that right in between.. No, tie it off first you fucking moron, what the HELL is wrong with you? Brains god gave a spoon. (shakes head sadly) Ok, now, put it right between the mashed potatoes and the sour cream. Congratu-fucking-lations! That's what a clam looks like. Now cover it all in butter sause. Mmm, yummy!
So, my relatives, bless their twisted little hearts, are sucking these things down by the handfuls. I mean, shit, I am a fat guy from buffalo and these people are sucking down clams faster than I can eat wings, you know? I was like GREAT GODDAMN GOOGLY MOOGLY!!!! But then I tried my first bite. Just a tiny one. Because I didn't want to try and just suck that shit down and then vomit it all back up again. There's only so much you can get away with at family get togethers.
HORRIBLE. AWFUL. I nearly died. Plus, it tasted bad. It was like eating old vanilla pudding with dirt and sand thrown into it. Yea, JUST like that time the Mcmurdo boys ganged up on you and made you eat that pudding you dropped when they ambushed you outside the locker rooms. It tasted JUST LIKE THAT. Only mixed in with the gristle from a chicken leg. Seriously. Gristle, sand, and tasteless old pudding. It was nasty. How can people eat that shit? More importantly, how can people eat that shit by the bucketload? I couldn't get past my first tiny bite!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY FAMILY? WHY FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY DO THEY EAT THIS SHIT???? WHY? WHHYYYYY? WHHYYYYYYYYYYY?
Yea, I don't know either. Give me chopped up oreos mixed in with mint ice cream any day.
Monday, August 30, 2010
The Best Laid Plans...
My one nephew has a saying. Piss poor plans yield piss poor results.
He's an ex-manager. If you haven't noticed from my previous posts how I feel about management and authority in general, you haven't been paying attention. Even worse, he's an ex SALES manager. Yea, I did my best to raise him right, but I'm only the uncle. I tried. (shrugs)
I used to believe that saying. I like planning things. I like planning for eventualities, and different outcomes. I still think it's possible to plan a system that takes mistakes into account, and thereby create a self-repairing system. I haven't been able to manage it yet, but the theory is sound.
So it was with a decent amount of foresight and planning that I requested a vacation from my job for last week. I hadn't given my boss the full two weeks notice that I was required to (a full two weeks notice would have me off this week instead of last week), but he came back immediately and told me my vacation was approved. See, we'd been having an incredibly hot summer, and I wanted a week off to enjoy it, relax, and play PC games, my first love.
Yes, I know, some of you already can see this coming, but I really didn't. I mean, most of my days are spent relaxing, goofing off and playing PC games anyway, so how could not going into work make a difference? Well, first thing I found out when I got home that day several weeks ago, was my nephew was coming to stay with us. Yes, the ex-sales manager. And his new wife, and the baby as well, woooohoooo!
I groaned when I heard the news. Oh sure, for a sales manager, my nephew is generally an OK guy, and I don't have any issues with his wife or the baby staying with us. We have the room and dear old mom could use the company. But, as is always the case when family comes to visit, OTHER family comes to visit them as well. Thus, my week off of alone time quickly became a mad rush to get out and do as many things as humanly possible while they were staying here.
And that was only the beginning. In a summer that averaged 85 to 90 degrees every day for two months straight, with little or no rain, I picked the one week off where the high temperature hit 68 for two days that week, and the highest it got was 75. Oh, and it rained half the time and was cloudy the rest. Yea, wth was I thinking?
Needless to say, running out so much also impacted my nice relaxing game time. Sigh.
So of course, here I am back to work this week... and it's going to be 90 degrees and sunny for 4 days straight. While I am at work.
I know, you're thinking "Hey, there's always this coming weekend... the relatives will be gone and it'll still be nice and warm." Well, you'd be WRONG! This weekend is our annual labor day picnic filled with OTHER relatives, and on top of that, a cold front is supposed to come in and make it rain.
Just bloody well figures. Fuck planning, I am taking my pleasure when and where I can get it! Piss poor planning, HAH!! HAH I SAY!!!!!!
Did i mention the nephew staying with us is the one who has that saying? He's trying to sell me diet supplements while he's here. :-(
He's an ex-manager. If you haven't noticed from my previous posts how I feel about management and authority in general, you haven't been paying attention. Even worse, he's an ex SALES manager. Yea, I did my best to raise him right, but I'm only the uncle. I tried. (shrugs)
I used to believe that saying. I like planning things. I like planning for eventualities, and different outcomes. I still think it's possible to plan a system that takes mistakes into account, and thereby create a self-repairing system. I haven't been able to manage it yet, but the theory is sound.
So it was with a decent amount of foresight and planning that I requested a vacation from my job for last week. I hadn't given my boss the full two weeks notice that I was required to (a full two weeks notice would have me off this week instead of last week), but he came back immediately and told me my vacation was approved. See, we'd been having an incredibly hot summer, and I wanted a week off to enjoy it, relax, and play PC games, my first love.
Yes, I know, some of you already can see this coming, but I really didn't. I mean, most of my days are spent relaxing, goofing off and playing PC games anyway, so how could not going into work make a difference? Well, first thing I found out when I got home that day several weeks ago, was my nephew was coming to stay with us. Yes, the ex-sales manager. And his new wife, and the baby as well, woooohoooo!
I groaned when I heard the news. Oh sure, for a sales manager, my nephew is generally an OK guy, and I don't have any issues with his wife or the baby staying with us. We have the room and dear old mom could use the company. But, as is always the case when family comes to visit, OTHER family comes to visit them as well. Thus, my week off of alone time quickly became a mad rush to get out and do as many things as humanly possible while they were staying here.
And that was only the beginning. In a summer that averaged 85 to 90 degrees every day for two months straight, with little or no rain, I picked the one week off where the high temperature hit 68 for two days that week, and the highest it got was 75. Oh, and it rained half the time and was cloudy the rest. Yea, wth was I thinking?
Needless to say, running out so much also impacted my nice relaxing game time. Sigh.
So of course, here I am back to work this week... and it's going to be 90 degrees and sunny for 4 days straight. While I am at work.
I know, you're thinking "Hey, there's always this coming weekend... the relatives will be gone and it'll still be nice and warm." Well, you'd be WRONG! This weekend is our annual labor day picnic filled with OTHER relatives, and on top of that, a cold front is supposed to come in and make it rain.
Just bloody well figures. Fuck planning, I am taking my pleasure when and where I can get it! Piss poor planning, HAH!! HAH I SAY!!!!!!
Did i mention the nephew staying with us is the one who has that saying? He's trying to sell me diet supplements while he's here. :-(
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Why I Will Never Be a Manager
Or this could just as easily be titled, "Why I don't pirate games."
Back in the day, when I was 25 ish, I got promoted to something called a Team Lead at my assembly line job. I didn't really know what it meant at the time, only that someone asked me to do it, that it was by vote of everyone in the department, and somehow I'd managed to garner the majority vote. Yes, exactly, ME. Whoda thunk it?
Needless to say, I took my attitude towards work and my co-workers and applied it to being a team lead. I said hi to my fellow workers every morning, generally worked my ass off all day, and tried to make things better for everyone concerned. I know what you're thinking. Dismal failure, right?
I improved quality from 91% to 97%, and production went up about 150%.
Don't ask me why. Just doing my job as I understood it. Trying to make it easier for my fellow employees to do their job, basically. And the easier it gets for them, the happier they are, and the more work they do. At least, that's what my thoughts on the whole thing were, and it seemed to work out for the best.
I don't really know how most companies work things. I'm just a part-time tech support geek. On a guess, I'd say improving production by a mere 5%, or quality by one or two points at all, would net you a fast track into upper management. But if I was headed that way, it was all sidetracked by a neck injury that still gives me pain to this day.
This would probably be a backwards attitude at most companies nowadays. At least, the ones I have worked at. For the most part, to get into management, you have to be the biggest meanest ass you possibly can be, and you are virtually guaranteed to be promoted. I do have this one small little problem, however. Think of it as a handicap, if you like.
I have ethics. And morals. And damned if I can just slip them aside to get what I want.
Now, I'm not perfect. If I see a really hot chick and I want to get into her panties, I don't care if she has a boyfriend. Some of you are going what? How can you say you have morals, you homewrecker! No, I'm sorry, but society just looks at things wrong. I don't care if they have the majority. If I can get a woman into bed then she wasn't that solid on her boyfriend, anyway. My morals will stop me from getting her drunk first, and a naked drunk chick sleeping in my bed is as safe as she can be, because I won't take advantage. But the minute she says yes, well, then she's mine, boyfriend or not. And if I even think her decision wasn't conscious, wasn't willing, or wasn't desired, I'll back off on my own. I mean, It's not like I don't have a good relationship with my right hand, you know?
I've tried to shunt my morals to the side. I really can't do it. There's this line I'm supposed to speak at the end of every tech support call. Basically, I'm supposed to ask the customer to give me good feedback via emails to my boss. Yes, it's a ridiculous rule in and of itself, but begging for compliments is basically a requirement for my job. And, I just can't do it. It basically makes me feel like a whore (not that there's anything wrong with whores), and one time, I forced myself to do it (mostly because I was being monitored at the time), and had the customer throw it right back in my face. He said "Oh, now you want me to email your supervisor and tell them what a great job you did, huh?" Yea, that pretty much ended whatever chance I had at making it to upper level management here, because I felt like such a dick for even asking. I haven't asked since.
My boss here, nice guy that he is, really thinks I should do that. He doesn't understand why I have such a hard time with selling my soul to the devil and raping my morals and ethics so I can do what the company tells me to, and eventually, maybe get that coveted team lead position at my current place of employment, that would end up giving me an extra 65 cents an hour. Yea, management, they make the big bucks. I'll pass, and be able to look myself in the mirror every morning. Or at least, most mornings. Some mornings, not even I can stomach this hairy mug.
These morals/ethics also are why I can't pirate a computer game. It just feels wrong. I know, ethics can be such a handicap in life, why the hell am I, an otherwise perfect guy in all respects, saddled with them? Eh, who knows. I got nothin.
Back in the day, when I was 25 ish, I got promoted to something called a Team Lead at my assembly line job. I didn't really know what it meant at the time, only that someone asked me to do it, that it was by vote of everyone in the department, and somehow I'd managed to garner the majority vote. Yes, exactly, ME. Whoda thunk it?
Needless to say, I took my attitude towards work and my co-workers and applied it to being a team lead. I said hi to my fellow workers every morning, generally worked my ass off all day, and tried to make things better for everyone concerned. I know what you're thinking. Dismal failure, right?
I improved quality from 91% to 97%, and production went up about 150%.
Don't ask me why. Just doing my job as I understood it. Trying to make it easier for my fellow employees to do their job, basically. And the easier it gets for them, the happier they are, and the more work they do. At least, that's what my thoughts on the whole thing were, and it seemed to work out for the best.
I don't really know how most companies work things. I'm just a part-time tech support geek. On a guess, I'd say improving production by a mere 5%, or quality by one or two points at all, would net you a fast track into upper management. But if I was headed that way, it was all sidetracked by a neck injury that still gives me pain to this day.
This would probably be a backwards attitude at most companies nowadays. At least, the ones I have worked at. For the most part, to get into management, you have to be the biggest meanest ass you possibly can be, and you are virtually guaranteed to be promoted. I do have this one small little problem, however. Think of it as a handicap, if you like.
I have ethics. And morals. And damned if I can just slip them aside to get what I want.
Now, I'm not perfect. If I see a really hot chick and I want to get into her panties, I don't care if she has a boyfriend. Some of you are going what? How can you say you have morals, you homewrecker! No, I'm sorry, but society just looks at things wrong. I don't care if they have the majority. If I can get a woman into bed then she wasn't that solid on her boyfriend, anyway. My morals will stop me from getting her drunk first, and a naked drunk chick sleeping in my bed is as safe as she can be, because I won't take advantage. But the minute she says yes, well, then she's mine, boyfriend or not. And if I even think her decision wasn't conscious, wasn't willing, or wasn't desired, I'll back off on my own. I mean, It's not like I don't have a good relationship with my right hand, you know?
I've tried to shunt my morals to the side. I really can't do it. There's this line I'm supposed to speak at the end of every tech support call. Basically, I'm supposed to ask the customer to give me good feedback via emails to my boss. Yes, it's a ridiculous rule in and of itself, but begging for compliments is basically a requirement for my job. And, I just can't do it. It basically makes me feel like a whore (not that there's anything wrong with whores), and one time, I forced myself to do it (mostly because I was being monitored at the time), and had the customer throw it right back in my face. He said "Oh, now you want me to email your supervisor and tell them what a great job you did, huh?" Yea, that pretty much ended whatever chance I had at making it to upper level management here, because I felt like such a dick for even asking. I haven't asked since.
My boss here, nice guy that he is, really thinks I should do that. He doesn't understand why I have such a hard time with selling my soul to the devil and raping my morals and ethics so I can do what the company tells me to, and eventually, maybe get that coveted team lead position at my current place of employment, that would end up giving me an extra 65 cents an hour. Yea, management, they make the big bucks. I'll pass, and be able to look myself in the mirror every morning. Or at least, most mornings. Some mornings, not even I can stomach this hairy mug.
These morals/ethics also are why I can't pirate a computer game. It just feels wrong. I know, ethics can be such a handicap in life, why the hell am I, an otherwise perfect guy in all respects, saddled with them? Eh, who knows. I got nothin.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Lazy Thursday Afternoons
I work a short week, so thursdays are basically my fridays.
Calls tend to drop off this time of day, so I find I have a lot of extra time on my hands. I've read all the news on Fark.com, I've read all the webcomics, questionable content, userfriendly.org, I've checked all my email, and I've even done all the work I can do for the week. I'm kind of bored.
It's times like this, I wish I had a vag.
Or a nice pair of boobs. I mean, sure, I've got manboobs and all, but it's just not the same. I can fondle them, and grope them, and pinch my nipples, and sure, there's a little whisper of sexual excitement there when I pinch them, but I'm not "The Gay" as Dimitri would refer to it, so fondling a man, even myself, doesn't really do it for me. And it's not that I'm even sexually aroused, really. I mean, I'm at work, right? It's a cubicle farm filled with generally geeky, unhealthy looking males for the most part. Nothing here to get me even mildly aroused.
But if I had a vag, or a nice rack, oh man. Extra time just turns into happy fun time. I'd probably be wearing a tiny skirt and some low cut blouse or something, and I could just whip those bad girls out and flop them about, let the cool office air caress the nipples a bit, probably would have completely skipped wearing panties this morning too, so even though there's no breeze, my vag would be exposed to the cool air coming out of the ac duct over my head. I'd probably be dripping wet already, just thinking of going home and playing starcraft 2... I wonder at times like this, if women geeks get hot over starcraft 2? Makes me wish I knew some women geeks. Or, women of any kind. Preferably live ones.
If I had a vag, I could probably sneak off to the women's room, find a nice quiet stall and just have a resounding orgasm or a dozen or something. I mean, it's a wonder to me that women, the attractive ones, that is, can even walk around without constantly fondling themselves. I fondle myself constantly and I don't even like myself very much. One, I'm a bit of a dick, and two, well, I'm a geeky, unhealthy looking nerdy type who works in a cubicle farm. Come to think of it, if I had a vag, I'd probably never leave my house.
Reminds me of that song, how's it go, If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning, etc etc... I should look up the lyrics to that and just walk around the office singing "If I had a vag, I'd..." wait, I can't sing I'd vag in the morning, that just doesn't make sense. Hmmmmmm. Need to give that one some thought.
Calls tend to drop off this time of day, so I find I have a lot of extra time on my hands. I've read all the news on Fark.com, I've read all the webcomics, questionable content, userfriendly.org, I've checked all my email, and I've even done all the work I can do for the week. I'm kind of bored.
It's times like this, I wish I had a vag.
Or a nice pair of boobs. I mean, sure, I've got manboobs and all, but it's just not the same. I can fondle them, and grope them, and pinch my nipples, and sure, there's a little whisper of sexual excitement there when I pinch them, but I'm not "The Gay" as Dimitri would refer to it, so fondling a man, even myself, doesn't really do it for me. And it's not that I'm even sexually aroused, really. I mean, I'm at work, right? It's a cubicle farm filled with generally geeky, unhealthy looking males for the most part. Nothing here to get me even mildly aroused.
But if I had a vag, or a nice rack, oh man. Extra time just turns into happy fun time. I'd probably be wearing a tiny skirt and some low cut blouse or something, and I could just whip those bad girls out and flop them about, let the cool office air caress the nipples a bit, probably would have completely skipped wearing panties this morning too, so even though there's no breeze, my vag would be exposed to the cool air coming out of the ac duct over my head. I'd probably be dripping wet already, just thinking of going home and playing starcraft 2... I wonder at times like this, if women geeks get hot over starcraft 2? Makes me wish I knew some women geeks. Or, women of any kind. Preferably live ones.
If I had a vag, I could probably sneak off to the women's room, find a nice quiet stall and just have a resounding orgasm or a dozen or something. I mean, it's a wonder to me that women, the attractive ones, that is, can even walk around without constantly fondling themselves. I fondle myself constantly and I don't even like myself very much. One, I'm a bit of a dick, and two, well, I'm a geeky, unhealthy looking nerdy type who works in a cubicle farm. Come to think of it, if I had a vag, I'd probably never leave my house.
Reminds me of that song, how's it go, If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning, etc etc... I should look up the lyrics to that and just walk around the office singing "If I had a vag, I'd..." wait, I can't sing I'd vag in the morning, that just doesn't make sense. Hmmmmmm. Need to give that one some thought.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Final Thoughts - Starcraft 2
After waiting 12 years for Starcraft 2, I was a little disappointed.
It's not that it's not a fun game. I do enjoy playing it. So far I've only played against the AI and done a third of the campaign missions or so, but it plays so much liek the original that there's almost no learning curve. Once i actually have some human opponents/allies, things should get tons of fun. Maybe I should do a good points, bad point thing...
GOOD: Just like the original. No learning curve. Almost all the units you liked in the first game. Same strategies that were effective in the first game, are effective here. Same 3 races. Battle.net hardly ever goes down (now that I've said that, I'll get home and it'll be down). Good sound effects. Lots of random critters and map effects on the ones I have played. Obviously a lot of planning and detail went into the game as well as the campaign. Losses do not count against you.
BAD: No game manual. An extra $10 over and above the normal cost of games, and we aren't even talking collector's edition here. Everything's the same as the first game. I know I used that as a good thing, but it's been 12 years. You'd expect SOME innovation, SOME good design changes that might have made their way into the game to make it even better, but you'd be wrong. Some of the units that were awesome from the first game, are now GONE. Lurkers, for instance, have vanished. You have to sign into Battle.net to even play the game, I think. No LAN gaming. Achievements (maybe some people like these, but I think they are ridiculous). Having to play weird matchups to get certain character portraits, like playing as a zerg and fighting two protoss AI on hard setting, 10 times, and winning.
Obviously, if you liked the original, you'll like this one. The only thing different is the forced battle.net account creation you'll need to do just to play it. I've heard of people who bought the game, and had no CD inside. Typically, you can just get another one sent to you if you have the CD key, however, since there's NO MANUAL, the CD key is printed on the CD envelope. Not even a jewel case, just a little slip of cardboard. Of course, who's going to steal the CD or DVD without the little cover on it? Nobody. So there goes the CD key and you'll likely have to get a new copy of Starcraft to play. Honestly, I have never heard of Blizzard releasing a game where there was not SOME issue with missing CD keys. I'm beginning to think Blizzard does it on purpose to generate more cash without actually giving you anything in return. I wouldn't put it past them. They are a business, after all, despite actually being good at their jobs for the most part. And their job is making a game that takes up all my spare time. Which, they did.
So, final thoughts, Starcraft 2 is worth $50. Blizzard wants it's battle.net tax or whatever excuse they have for the extra $10, and not including a manual, or literally, ANYTHING else inside the box was a bad marketing move, I think, but what the hell do I know? I'm not blizzard, and who the hell is going to listen to me instead of a company that puts out good games? Nobody, that's who. So enjoy your manual-less, map-less, poster-less Starcraft 2 and bemoan the loss of game manuals when every OTHER gaming company stops putting them out there. AND starts charging you $60, $70 and $80 for a cardboard slip with a CD in it. They'll probably stop bothering to make the boxes next. All that cardboard costs money, you know. Oh wait, they already did, it's called digital downloads. Greedy farking sons of bitches. Give me my money's worth and I'll gladly pay you, rip me off at every turn and I hope you rot in norse hell. And if you know the norse it's even WORSE than christian hell, SO TAKE THAT YOU GREEDY BASTARDS!!!!!!
That having been said, after I buy Diablo 3 when they release it in 15 to 20 years, I am never buying a blizzard game again. Ever. Never ever ever never never ever never ever. Ever. Maybe. Unless it's really good. And cheap. Hell, maybe I'll be so old by then I won't care anymore and just pirate the damn thing. Kick the bastards where it HURTS!!! YEA!!!!!!!
It's not that it's not a fun game. I do enjoy playing it. So far I've only played against the AI and done a third of the campaign missions or so, but it plays so much liek the original that there's almost no learning curve. Once i actually have some human opponents/allies, things should get tons of fun. Maybe I should do a good points, bad point thing...
GOOD: Just like the original. No learning curve. Almost all the units you liked in the first game. Same strategies that were effective in the first game, are effective here. Same 3 races. Battle.net hardly ever goes down (now that I've said that, I'll get home and it'll be down). Good sound effects. Lots of random critters and map effects on the ones I have played. Obviously a lot of planning and detail went into the game as well as the campaign. Losses do not count against you.
BAD: No game manual. An extra $10 over and above the normal cost of games, and we aren't even talking collector's edition here. Everything's the same as the first game. I know I used that as a good thing, but it's been 12 years. You'd expect SOME innovation, SOME good design changes that might have made their way into the game to make it even better, but you'd be wrong. Some of the units that were awesome from the first game, are now GONE. Lurkers, for instance, have vanished. You have to sign into Battle.net to even play the game, I think. No LAN gaming. Achievements (maybe some people like these, but I think they are ridiculous). Having to play weird matchups to get certain character portraits, like playing as a zerg and fighting two protoss AI on hard setting, 10 times, and winning.
Obviously, if you liked the original, you'll like this one. The only thing different is the forced battle.net account creation you'll need to do just to play it. I've heard of people who bought the game, and had no CD inside. Typically, you can just get another one sent to you if you have the CD key, however, since there's NO MANUAL, the CD key is printed on the CD envelope. Not even a jewel case, just a little slip of cardboard. Of course, who's going to steal the CD or DVD without the little cover on it? Nobody. So there goes the CD key and you'll likely have to get a new copy of Starcraft to play. Honestly, I have never heard of Blizzard releasing a game where there was not SOME issue with missing CD keys. I'm beginning to think Blizzard does it on purpose to generate more cash without actually giving you anything in return. I wouldn't put it past them. They are a business, after all, despite actually being good at their jobs for the most part. And their job is making a game that takes up all my spare time. Which, they did.
So, final thoughts, Starcraft 2 is worth $50. Blizzard wants it's battle.net tax or whatever excuse they have for the extra $10, and not including a manual, or literally, ANYTHING else inside the box was a bad marketing move, I think, but what the hell do I know? I'm not blizzard, and who the hell is going to listen to me instead of a company that puts out good games? Nobody, that's who. So enjoy your manual-less, map-less, poster-less Starcraft 2 and bemoan the loss of game manuals when every OTHER gaming company stops putting them out there. AND starts charging you $60, $70 and $80 for a cardboard slip with a CD in it. They'll probably stop bothering to make the boxes next. All that cardboard costs money, you know. Oh wait, they already did, it's called digital downloads. Greedy farking sons of bitches. Give me my money's worth and I'll gladly pay you, rip me off at every turn and I hope you rot in norse hell. And if you know the norse it's even WORSE than christian hell, SO TAKE THAT YOU GREEDY BASTARDS!!!!!!
That having been said, after I buy Diablo 3 when they release it in 15 to 20 years, I am never buying a blizzard game again. Ever. Never ever ever never never ever never ever. Ever. Maybe. Unless it's really good. And cheap. Hell, maybe I'll be so old by then I won't care anymore and just pirate the damn thing. Kick the bastards where it HURTS!!! YEA!!!!!!!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Discovery Channel and Animals
So I'm watching Discovery channel last night, in between watching some movie and waiting for True Blood to come on. The name of the channel was appropriate, because I am discovering just how moronic people are becoming. There's this two hour special called Uprising. Basically, it's about this uptick in the numbers of animal attacks and the discovery channel is postulating, without any proof of course (much like a bad journalist), that animals are turning against us and we'd better be ready for the all-out animal assault.
Now, I didn't bother to watch this ridiculous show more than one segment where a man hacked at a mountain lion with a chainsaw, and how biologists were keeping tabs on the numbers of coyotes in major cities, but the scare-mongering tactics used by media to up their popularity seemed to be in full swing just in what little i saw. They were talking about how coyotes were sneaking into your streets, and how we might have to fight the wildlife in the alleyways, and all this total bullshit.
All i could think was, come on discovery channel, how stupid can you actually be? I thought you liked animals? Or at least, cared enough about them because they were your bread and butter, so to speak? This show just infuriated me, for several reasons.
One, wild animals are not pets. They generally don't like being petted, and just because you throw them a marshmallow, it doesn't mean they think of you as their master now. If you try and pet them, get close to them, or just generally irritate them for any reason, they will still proceed to bite, claw, stomp and eat your stupid ass. Even if you did feed them your strawberry flavored marshmallows. Yes, even the whole bag. No, I don't care how good they taste. The animals still don't love you for it. They just want free food.
Two, animals are learning that people mean free food. If the coyotes are lacking in territory, or even if they think of cities as one big mcdonalds drive thru, they are going to be scrounging around in back alleys looking for snacks. Let's be serious here, people, everything needs to eat. If the animals learn that your garbage has better scraps and is easier to get to than trying to take down a bull moose, then they are going to dig through your garbage for scraps. It's just that simple. Rangers can tell the people not to feed the animals all day and night, but until they get it through to the animals, animals are still going to associate us with food, even if we stop feeding them. We throw out things that are a thousand times better tasting than wood grubs. I mean think about it, if you are starving, would you eat a wood grub, or a stale big mac? Some cold french fries? Yea, that's what I thought. For the most part, animals are just as hungry as you were that time when you forgot to go shopping, came home from work to find no food in your fridge at all, had no money in your wallet, and had to scrounge the leftovers from last week's pizza party that were stuffed in the back of the crisper drawer. Yea, that hungry.
Three, animals are smart. All those people that used to anthropomorphize animals, ascribing to them human emotions and reactions? Well, they were RIGHT. Dogs and cats and hamsters and goldfish DO have emotions, and memories, and dreams, just like we do. Maybe not the same ones, of course, I mean, if they are dreaming about your 3rd grade teacher and how hot she was, well, that's just creepy. But a recent study on goldfish proved that they can recall memories of where and when food was coming, and felt bad if they got their ass kicked over a morsel of food by another fish, and felt great if they were the ones kicking ass. That sounds like emotions and memories to me, and if they know when and where the food is coming from, that's better timing and memory than half the people I know. So stop treating the animals like, well, like animals. If you piss them off, they have every right to be upset.
I am reminded of several instances while I have been camping the last few years. Most recently, my brother in law had been complaining of a raccoon being aggressive towards him. So one night I was sitting around the campfire outside his cabin, waiting to mooch dinner off of him and my sister (my usual fun thing to do while camping), and the raccoon ambled up onto the cabin porch and started sniffing around. Of course, my brother in law makes a threatening gesture towards the thing and it growls at him. Not surprising me in the least, I might add. Then, my sister convinces him to give the poor thing some leftover french fries, and he takes the bag and heads over to the edge of the woods to dump it out, and the raccon is literally following at his heels like a puppy waiting for it's dinnertime snack. If it wanted, it could have chewed his ankles off easily, but it was obvious to the raccoon that it was going to get fed and completely lost all desire to be aggressive. So the raccoon immediately digs into the fries, eats with gusto right at the edge of the light from the campfire, and then immediately goes to sleep. Right there. All I could think was, if I had been that hungry, I'd have gone to sleep right after a good meal, too. Poor thing must have been exhausted.
I know, you really aren't supposed to feed wild animals, and I stopped throwing marshmallows at them about the time I hit puberty, but the animals that know humans have tasty food are also the animals that don't know how to find their own. The most well fed ones, the ones that live entirely off of our garbage, would probably die if that food source were ever removed. or at least, spend a lot of nights going hungry. Much like me if I didn't mooch off my sister and her husband, but that's not the point.
Speaking of throwing things at animals, several years back we had a fellow camper run up to us, breathless, and tell us to watch out because a raccoon had been seen in the area. At first I thought he was joking, because by and large, seeing a raccoon on a camping trip is pretty much expected for me and my family. But no, he was quite serious, and he continued to expound on his asinine behavior by telling us he'd thrown rocks at the raccoon til it went away. I was like :-o I literally could not believe my ears. This obviously city bred moron goes into the fucking WOODS to rent a cabin, sees a wild animal that LIVES IN THE WOODS, and then throws rocks at it because ... well, to be honest, I have no idea why he threw rocks at it. I was going to ask him how he'd like it if he went into his backyard to cook some burgers, and a raccoon started hurling rocks at him, but he ran off to tell someone else about the "scary raccoon" and I didn't feel like running after him, tackling him and beating some sense into him. He was probably high, anyway. Scary raccoons, indeed.
Let me tell you, amongst all the close encounters I have had with raccoons, snakes, skunks, bugs, lizards and biker chicks, it's always been my fault when the encounters have gone bad. Without fail, once you allow the animal to calm down, it's as harmless as a warm rock. Except for the biker chicks. They are almost universally dangerous. Stay away from them unless you are a professional biker chick handler, like me. I had a pet iguana once, and typically I let it set in it's cage for weeks at a time. Anyone who's ever owned an iguana is shaking their head now, because iguanas rapidly go from tame to wild within weeks if you don't keep them accustomed to you. And I understood that, but I had to clean the iguana tank, and I gently picked the iguana up, holding it firmly but carefully while I carried it to the other room. Of course, because it was scared, the tail was whipping around like a crazed ninja on PCP, and luckily I have the reflexes of a cat on steroids, so I was able to avoid getting hit by the tail. However, the iguana then bit my thumb, and the only way to have avoided that was to drop the poor thing, which i wasn't about to do. Sure, the iguana would have been fine, they drop out of the branches of hundred foot trees without damage, but I'd have had to catch him again and I just wasn't in the mood. But, once he bit me, and I didn't do anything about it, he calmed right down. The tail stopped and dropped to hang down, and he just sat there and looked at me as if to say "Ok, i'm sorry I bit you. Still friends?" Yea, I bled for like an hour after that, but still, my fault for scaring him.
The two really close, surprising encounters I have had with raccoons, my nephews were feeding them while I was around. In one instance, my nephews were pelting me with marshmallows in an effort to get the raccoons to climb up in my lap to feed. The raccoons never did climb into my lap, but one did stand up on his hind legs, put his paws on the back of my chair, and sniff my head. I literally felt his breath on my scalp. Of course, I am so used to raccoons doing this sort of thing, I didn't care, and the raccoon wandered off to eat marshmallows. I'd have preferred that they ate my nephews, because those marshmallows hurt when the get whipped at you, but alas, the raccoons are nicer than my nephews are, and my nephews yet live. The second instance, they were feeding them peanuts, and I was eating peanuts at a picnic table, and apparently a raccoon had come up silently behind me, because I felt something tap my thigh and then touch my ass. I turn my head to find out who's flirting with me, and lo and behold, it's a raccoon. Probably a female. She wanted me, I know she did. I'm a stud.
That about covers it, kiddies. Animals are your friends unless you attack them with chainsaws. Nuff said.
Now, I didn't bother to watch this ridiculous show more than one segment where a man hacked at a mountain lion with a chainsaw, and how biologists were keeping tabs on the numbers of coyotes in major cities, but the scare-mongering tactics used by media to up their popularity seemed to be in full swing just in what little i saw. They were talking about how coyotes were sneaking into your streets, and how we might have to fight the wildlife in the alleyways, and all this total bullshit.
All i could think was, come on discovery channel, how stupid can you actually be? I thought you liked animals? Or at least, cared enough about them because they were your bread and butter, so to speak? This show just infuriated me, for several reasons.
One, wild animals are not pets. They generally don't like being petted, and just because you throw them a marshmallow, it doesn't mean they think of you as their master now. If you try and pet them, get close to them, or just generally irritate them for any reason, they will still proceed to bite, claw, stomp and eat your stupid ass. Even if you did feed them your strawberry flavored marshmallows. Yes, even the whole bag. No, I don't care how good they taste. The animals still don't love you for it. They just want free food.
Two, animals are learning that people mean free food. If the coyotes are lacking in territory, or even if they think of cities as one big mcdonalds drive thru, they are going to be scrounging around in back alleys looking for snacks. Let's be serious here, people, everything needs to eat. If the animals learn that your garbage has better scraps and is easier to get to than trying to take down a bull moose, then they are going to dig through your garbage for scraps. It's just that simple. Rangers can tell the people not to feed the animals all day and night, but until they get it through to the animals, animals are still going to associate us with food, even if we stop feeding them. We throw out things that are a thousand times better tasting than wood grubs. I mean think about it, if you are starving, would you eat a wood grub, or a stale big mac? Some cold french fries? Yea, that's what I thought. For the most part, animals are just as hungry as you were that time when you forgot to go shopping, came home from work to find no food in your fridge at all, had no money in your wallet, and had to scrounge the leftovers from last week's pizza party that were stuffed in the back of the crisper drawer. Yea, that hungry.
Three, animals are smart. All those people that used to anthropomorphize animals, ascribing to them human emotions and reactions? Well, they were RIGHT. Dogs and cats and hamsters and goldfish DO have emotions, and memories, and dreams, just like we do. Maybe not the same ones, of course, I mean, if they are dreaming about your 3rd grade teacher and how hot she was, well, that's just creepy. But a recent study on goldfish proved that they can recall memories of where and when food was coming, and felt bad if they got their ass kicked over a morsel of food by another fish, and felt great if they were the ones kicking ass. That sounds like emotions and memories to me, and if they know when and where the food is coming from, that's better timing and memory than half the people I know. So stop treating the animals like, well, like animals. If you piss them off, they have every right to be upset.
I am reminded of several instances while I have been camping the last few years. Most recently, my brother in law had been complaining of a raccoon being aggressive towards him. So one night I was sitting around the campfire outside his cabin, waiting to mooch dinner off of him and my sister (my usual fun thing to do while camping), and the raccoon ambled up onto the cabin porch and started sniffing around. Of course, my brother in law makes a threatening gesture towards the thing and it growls at him. Not surprising me in the least, I might add. Then, my sister convinces him to give the poor thing some leftover french fries, and he takes the bag and heads over to the edge of the woods to dump it out, and the raccon is literally following at his heels like a puppy waiting for it's dinnertime snack. If it wanted, it could have chewed his ankles off easily, but it was obvious to the raccoon that it was going to get fed and completely lost all desire to be aggressive. So the raccoon immediately digs into the fries, eats with gusto right at the edge of the light from the campfire, and then immediately goes to sleep. Right there. All I could think was, if I had been that hungry, I'd have gone to sleep right after a good meal, too. Poor thing must have been exhausted.
I know, you really aren't supposed to feed wild animals, and I stopped throwing marshmallows at them about the time I hit puberty, but the animals that know humans have tasty food are also the animals that don't know how to find their own. The most well fed ones, the ones that live entirely off of our garbage, would probably die if that food source were ever removed. or at least, spend a lot of nights going hungry. Much like me if I didn't mooch off my sister and her husband, but that's not the point.
Speaking of throwing things at animals, several years back we had a fellow camper run up to us, breathless, and tell us to watch out because a raccoon had been seen in the area. At first I thought he was joking, because by and large, seeing a raccoon on a camping trip is pretty much expected for me and my family. But no, he was quite serious, and he continued to expound on his asinine behavior by telling us he'd thrown rocks at the raccoon til it went away. I was like :-o I literally could not believe my ears. This obviously city bred moron goes into the fucking WOODS to rent a cabin, sees a wild animal that LIVES IN THE WOODS, and then throws rocks at it because ... well, to be honest, I have no idea why he threw rocks at it. I was going to ask him how he'd like it if he went into his backyard to cook some burgers, and a raccoon started hurling rocks at him, but he ran off to tell someone else about the "scary raccoon" and I didn't feel like running after him, tackling him and beating some sense into him. He was probably high, anyway. Scary raccoons, indeed.
Let me tell you, amongst all the close encounters I have had with raccoons, snakes, skunks, bugs, lizards and biker chicks, it's always been my fault when the encounters have gone bad. Without fail, once you allow the animal to calm down, it's as harmless as a warm rock. Except for the biker chicks. They are almost universally dangerous. Stay away from them unless you are a professional biker chick handler, like me. I had a pet iguana once, and typically I let it set in it's cage for weeks at a time. Anyone who's ever owned an iguana is shaking their head now, because iguanas rapidly go from tame to wild within weeks if you don't keep them accustomed to you. And I understood that, but I had to clean the iguana tank, and I gently picked the iguana up, holding it firmly but carefully while I carried it to the other room. Of course, because it was scared, the tail was whipping around like a crazed ninja on PCP, and luckily I have the reflexes of a cat on steroids, so I was able to avoid getting hit by the tail. However, the iguana then bit my thumb, and the only way to have avoided that was to drop the poor thing, which i wasn't about to do. Sure, the iguana would have been fine, they drop out of the branches of hundred foot trees without damage, but I'd have had to catch him again and I just wasn't in the mood. But, once he bit me, and I didn't do anything about it, he calmed right down. The tail stopped and dropped to hang down, and he just sat there and looked at me as if to say "Ok, i'm sorry I bit you. Still friends?" Yea, I bled for like an hour after that, but still, my fault for scaring him.
The two really close, surprising encounters I have had with raccoons, my nephews were feeding them while I was around. In one instance, my nephews were pelting me with marshmallows in an effort to get the raccoons to climb up in my lap to feed. The raccoons never did climb into my lap, but one did stand up on his hind legs, put his paws on the back of my chair, and sniff my head. I literally felt his breath on my scalp. Of course, I am so used to raccoons doing this sort of thing, I didn't care, and the raccoon wandered off to eat marshmallows. I'd have preferred that they ate my nephews, because those marshmallows hurt when the get whipped at you, but alas, the raccoons are nicer than my nephews are, and my nephews yet live. The second instance, they were feeding them peanuts, and I was eating peanuts at a picnic table, and apparently a raccoon had come up silently behind me, because I felt something tap my thigh and then touch my ass. I turn my head to find out who's flirting with me, and lo and behold, it's a raccoon. Probably a female. She wanted me, I know she did. I'm a stud.
That about covers it, kiddies. Animals are your friends unless you attack them with chainsaws. Nuff said.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Down to 8 Lives
So, I was driving into work yesterday morning, and I ran over a cat.
What I am curious about is, if a black cat crossing your path gives you bad luck, what does it mean if a white cat crosses your path? And then you run over it with your car? :-o
On the plus side, I'm fairly certain it lived. There was no blood, fur, or body parts adhering to the front of my car when I got to work, and the incident happened just before I got here, so I assume there'd be some sort of feline residue left, wouldn't you think? Also, in the rear view mirror I saw the cat bounding across the other side of the road with it's tail in the air, so either it was unaware that it had in fact died or it was a very lucky cat. At least I think it was it's tail raised high in the air. Could have been a leg raised haphazardly into the air as the cat tumbled bonelessly along the side of the road.
On a happier note, I like Starcraft 2. There's this stupid achievement thing going on, which, I absolutely, without equivocation, doubt or misgiving, hate with a passion bordering on that of the insane. I mean, seriously, wtf is up with achievements? They can't just make the game good, they have to litter it with goddamn achievements so you get some sense of accomplishing something? How empty does your life have to be that you play a game to get a sense of accomplishment? Or, how empty do the people at blizzard assume your life is, that they make achievements such a part of the game that you can't even choose a decent portrait for your battle,net avatar without scoring some grand achievements? Honestly, I think Blizzard is a bunch of mac-using, elitist assholes who think I have nothing better to do with my time than play 25 matches as a zerg against 2 protoss opponents on a free for all game map just so I can get some stupid award. Who the fuck comes up with this unbelievable bullshit? Why not just give me a goddamn variety of cool portraits for my character profile without making it all about how many hoops I've jumped through for you? Fucking pricks.
Something else I'd like to mention, there's ONLY a terran campaign. No zerg. No protoss. Sure, they are in multiplayer and skirmishes and stuff, but forget playing the zerg in a campaign until... god knows whenever blizzard is going to get around to releasing the "expansion packs" or whatever the hell else they are calling it to rip more money from your goddamn wallet. Oh and don't even give me that "it's not about the money, they just wanted to focus on one race at a time." bullshit. IT'S ABOUT THE MONEY, MORON. They already raised the standard price of the game from $50 to $60, just because they KNEW we'd pay it anyway. Fucking assholes. I mean, they already know they got me by the balls, and I know they know it, why do they have to give me that little extra squeeze to make sure they know I know they know?? And do you get anything extra in your goddamn game box for that extra $10? Fuck no, I didn't even get a goddamn GAME MANUAL. That's right, $60 and they couldn't even put in a pretty game manual to show me how to play. What WAS in the box? Free temporary guest passes to try out their OTHER games! Fucking Blizzard. Goddamn, fucking, elitist-prick, having-me-by-the-balls assholes. And there's TWO more of these fucking things coming out, JUST with the other campaigns in them. Like I'm going to buy that "oh, we wanted to spend the last twelve years focusing on one campaign so it would be good." bullshit. YOU WANT MORE MONEY, DICKWAD. JUST COME RIGHT THE FUCK OUT AND SAY IT INSTEAD OF THINKING OF ME AS A TOTAL RETARD WHO CAN'T FIGURE OUT YOU WANT MORE MONEY.
If Blizzard didn't have me by the balls, I'd fucking boycott their games. Come to think of it, if I'm only playing their games once every 12 years, does that in effect, constitute a boycott? Fucking pricks will probably ask for another $60 for each goddamn expansion pack too. If they take less than 6 months to make the zerg or protoss campaigns, there's your proof right there that they just want more money. Seriously, 12 goddamn years working on JUST the terran campaign, and 6 month to make the next two or three? Yea, right. It's not about the money, MY FAT ASS!!!
Erm. Other than that. Not a bad game at all. Plays JUST like the original, but with better graphics. Which sounds bad, because it makes it SOUND like they didn't do anything new, but seriously, when the original game was perfection, how much better can it get? But the only thing I find is, I've grown a bit since the original. I want MORE out of my games. Why DO the terrans not have any defensive structures? Why are the defensive structures so underpowered anyway? Ah well, I didn't make the damn thing, I'm just the fucking stupid moron who paid $60 for the same game with better graphics, right? What the FUCK was I thinking? GAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! I'm an idiot. Should have just waited 5 or 6 years til the price went down. Shit, waited 12 years to start with, why not a few more?
Obviously, I have mixed feelings on the whole attitude of blizzard, but as far as I can tell, they still make decent games. I mean, starcraft 2 is no Stronghold Crusader or anything, which, if Firefly Studios were to release that with better graphics and a little better marketing, I think they'd kick blizzard's hairy ballsack. Nothing extra in that game, just good goddamn gameplay, intricate strategy, and oh yea, it was FUN. Oh well. Blizzard. why does every gaming company pattern themelves after them? Just because they are popular in korea? I don't even speak korean!
As an interesting final note, I've just noticed there's a new SIMS game coming out in 2011 with a Medieval setting instead of 21st century. Which, could be good, I mean, the usual SIMS is more of a chick game to me. Building my dream house, finding a job, getting married, having kids, bleh, if I wanted any of that shit, I'd leave my room/cube once in a while and do it for real. Why pay money to do it in a game? Ridiculous concept, if you ask me, but there's a lot of stupid people out there and the game has sold really well, so, you figure it out. Anyway, this medieval concept may be a step in the right direction. Reminds me, again, of stronghold crusader, where you'd design your castle and then defend it against other castle-builders/medieval lords. If the medieval SIMS is anything close to that, I am all for it. Now all they need to do is make it all about Goblins and it's my dream game.
I just think Goblins are really underrated as an evil race. They need a better Public Relations guy to sell them right.
What I am curious about is, if a black cat crossing your path gives you bad luck, what does it mean if a white cat crosses your path? And then you run over it with your car? :-o
On the plus side, I'm fairly certain it lived. There was no blood, fur, or body parts adhering to the front of my car when I got to work, and the incident happened just before I got here, so I assume there'd be some sort of feline residue left, wouldn't you think? Also, in the rear view mirror I saw the cat bounding across the other side of the road with it's tail in the air, so either it was unaware that it had in fact died or it was a very lucky cat. At least I think it was it's tail raised high in the air. Could have been a leg raised haphazardly into the air as the cat tumbled bonelessly along the side of the road.
On a happier note, I like Starcraft 2. There's this stupid achievement thing going on, which, I absolutely, without equivocation, doubt or misgiving, hate with a passion bordering on that of the insane. I mean, seriously, wtf is up with achievements? They can't just make the game good, they have to litter it with goddamn achievements so you get some sense of accomplishing something? How empty does your life have to be that you play a game to get a sense of accomplishment? Or, how empty do the people at blizzard assume your life is, that they make achievements such a part of the game that you can't even choose a decent portrait for your battle,net avatar without scoring some grand achievements? Honestly, I think Blizzard is a bunch of mac-using, elitist assholes who think I have nothing better to do with my time than play 25 matches as a zerg against 2 protoss opponents on a free for all game map just so I can get some stupid award. Who the fuck comes up with this unbelievable bullshit? Why not just give me a goddamn variety of cool portraits for my character profile without making it all about how many hoops I've jumped through for you? Fucking pricks.
Something else I'd like to mention, there's ONLY a terran campaign. No zerg. No protoss. Sure, they are in multiplayer and skirmishes and stuff, but forget playing the zerg in a campaign until... god knows whenever blizzard is going to get around to releasing the "expansion packs" or whatever the hell else they are calling it to rip more money from your goddamn wallet. Oh and don't even give me that "it's not about the money, they just wanted to focus on one race at a time." bullshit. IT'S ABOUT THE MONEY, MORON. They already raised the standard price of the game from $50 to $60, just because they KNEW we'd pay it anyway. Fucking assholes. I mean, they already know they got me by the balls, and I know they know it, why do they have to give me that little extra squeeze to make sure they know I know they know?? And do you get anything extra in your goddamn game box for that extra $10? Fuck no, I didn't even get a goddamn GAME MANUAL. That's right, $60 and they couldn't even put in a pretty game manual to show me how to play. What WAS in the box? Free temporary guest passes to try out their OTHER games! Fucking Blizzard. Goddamn, fucking, elitist-prick, having-me-by-the-balls assholes. And there's TWO more of these fucking things coming out, JUST with the other campaigns in them. Like I'm going to buy that "oh, we wanted to spend the last twelve years focusing on one campaign so it would be good." bullshit. YOU WANT MORE MONEY, DICKWAD. JUST COME RIGHT THE FUCK OUT AND SAY IT INSTEAD OF THINKING OF ME AS A TOTAL RETARD WHO CAN'T FIGURE OUT YOU WANT MORE MONEY.
If Blizzard didn't have me by the balls, I'd fucking boycott their games. Come to think of it, if I'm only playing their games once every 12 years, does that in effect, constitute a boycott? Fucking pricks will probably ask for another $60 for each goddamn expansion pack too. If they take less than 6 months to make the zerg or protoss campaigns, there's your proof right there that they just want more money. Seriously, 12 goddamn years working on JUST the terran campaign, and 6 month to make the next two or three? Yea, right. It's not about the money, MY FAT ASS!!!
Erm. Other than that. Not a bad game at all. Plays JUST like the original, but with better graphics. Which sounds bad, because it makes it SOUND like they didn't do anything new, but seriously, when the original game was perfection, how much better can it get? But the only thing I find is, I've grown a bit since the original. I want MORE out of my games. Why DO the terrans not have any defensive structures? Why are the defensive structures so underpowered anyway? Ah well, I didn't make the damn thing, I'm just the fucking stupid moron who paid $60 for the same game with better graphics, right? What the FUCK was I thinking? GAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! I'm an idiot. Should have just waited 5 or 6 years til the price went down. Shit, waited 12 years to start with, why not a few more?
Obviously, I have mixed feelings on the whole attitude of blizzard, but as far as I can tell, they still make decent games. I mean, starcraft 2 is no Stronghold Crusader or anything, which, if Firefly Studios were to release that with better graphics and a little better marketing, I think they'd kick blizzard's hairy ballsack. Nothing extra in that game, just good goddamn gameplay, intricate strategy, and oh yea, it was FUN. Oh well. Blizzard. why does every gaming company pattern themelves after them? Just because they are popular in korea? I don't even speak korean!
As an interesting final note, I've just noticed there's a new SIMS game coming out in 2011 with a Medieval setting instead of 21st century. Which, could be good, I mean, the usual SIMS is more of a chick game to me. Building my dream house, finding a job, getting married, having kids, bleh, if I wanted any of that shit, I'd leave my room/cube once in a while and do it for real. Why pay money to do it in a game? Ridiculous concept, if you ask me, but there's a lot of stupid people out there and the game has sold really well, so, you figure it out. Anyway, this medieval concept may be a step in the right direction. Reminds me, again, of stronghold crusader, where you'd design your castle and then defend it against other castle-builders/medieval lords. If the medieval SIMS is anything close to that, I am all for it. Now all they need to do is make it all about Goblins and it's my dream game.
I just think Goblins are really underrated as an evil race. They need a better Public Relations guy to sell them right.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)