OHMRAT in Flux

No OHMRAT this year, in case you were wondering.  The skeleton out front should have told you.  Sadly, my mother is in ill health, and since i have become her only 24-hour-a-day, 7-day-a-week caregiver, i barely have time to sleep, let alone watch and review horror films.  I am enjoying what I can when I can, and hopefully next year will be better.  Tomorrow is promised to no one, as the saying goes.  There's a joke in there but i am too tired to find it right now.

Quick review, just because I have a few minutes.  Watched Midnight Mass, on Netflix.  Spoiler alert, it's a vampire story, not that it's any big surprise.  There's 7 hours of episodes about a sleepy little town on an island that has cell phone service and an islamic sherriff, but has never heard of vampires.  They get a new Priest, who spend about 6 of those hours preaching from the pulpit about how glorious his meeting was with this "angel of the Lord," who, yeah, looks exactly like what you think an old cave-dwelling vampire might look like, and yes, the guy tells the same story about meeting this vampire maybe 4-5 different times in 4-5 different episodes.  I had to fast-forward through the preachy parts, msotly because I have a tendency to fall asleep in church, which means i probably skipped about 6.5 hours of the entire netflix series, but that last half-hour isn't half-bad, I guess.  I mean, it pretty much goes as expected, so if that's the twist ending, that everything went as expected, then sure, okay, you surprised me.  Good one.  If you can't stand the 6 hours of preachiness, basically sitting through entire hour-long sermons where nothing happens but some guy is preaching to a church full of townsfolk, and I mean literally every word of his sermon is in multiple episodes, then maybe skip that one.

Megan Fox's latest on netflix, "Till Death," wasn't absolutely disgusting.  Suuuch a slow starter, I did turn it off early on, but it was right before the good parts started.  I honestly had a tough time watching two people walking around like zombies, pretending they were alive, and that was even before anyone died.  Think Gerald's Game, only with Megan Fox.  Once the killing starts, the action keeps going til the end, so at least the rest of the movie was not as boring as the first part.  That's about all i can say about that one, that it was mostly action, once you get past the boring parts.  Sadly, no monsters, unless you count the human kind.

I also watched the Chestnut Man, also on netflix, another series.  I can't recall how many episodes there were but it wasn't bad.  I was kind of hoping for a more supernatural ending but I was again disappointed.  Seems like we humans can't really conceive of anything more horrifying than our fellow humans.  Having left my house once or twice in the last few months, I can see where that comes from.  it's a scary world out there, mainly because we are in it.

That's all i got for now.  Can't promise anything else before the month ends.  Too damned busy.  Hopefully I will find some more time to post in the future.  Until then, Happy Halloween!

31 - Day of the Lord (2020)

It's always a tough choice, what movie to end the month of October with.  Sometimes there's not enough time (like tonight) because of other things going on.  I mean it's a holiday, kids sometimes come to the door for candy (not this year) there's often company (not this year) and every once in a great while, there's a halloween parties (like this year) to go to.  Rocky Horror Picture Show was showing on TV (i missed the beginning, and I've never seen it, so that one was out, but i am aware it's mostly musical), there's the Wolf Man with Lon Chaney Jr (especially tempting tonight because of the rare blue moon on Halloween night, not seen since 1944), but there just wasn't enough time to watch the whole thing before midnight.  I was already halfway through this movie on netflix this afternoon, so I had to watch the rest after the party, just to have a hope of getting this review done by midnight.  I won't have it done by midnight, but here it is anways.

Day of the Lord (2020) is a Netflix movie about a Priest named Menendez who is no longer a priest, who was convicted of murder after the failed exorcism of a little boy, and is only just coming back from a long jail term.  A dear friend comes to visit Menendez as he's trying to adjust to his freedom, and the friend Sebastian has a problem.  He thinks his daughter is possessed.  He wants Menendez to perform an exorcism.  The only problem is, Menendez's methods are a little more aggressive and violent than your average priest, and Menendez isn't even a Priest anymore.  Of course, there's another issue.  Sebastian's daughter doesn't seem to be possessed.  Then, all hell breaks loose.

Yeah, you knew it was coming.  All Hell had to break loose during the last movie of the month!  I gotta say, this movie surprised me.  The acting was decent and the effects were good for what seems to be a low-budget movie of this type.  It's a spanish movie, and I was reading subtitles through the whole flick because i don't know spanish, but it was still a decent movie.  There's only like, 4 actors in the whole thing and there's only one set, but it was pretty well done, and moderately entertaining.  From the sounds of it, they are planning a sequel, but who knows.  Definitely worth a watch on netflix, if you like a decent horror flick.  Not the usual style of horror film, and not even a comedy, but almost funny in the way it is presented.  Not sure if I'd watch it twice, but not bad once.

In other news, Sir Sean Connery passed away earlier today, after an extended illness.  He was 90 years old, and aside from the 007 / James Bond films that made him famous, he starred in many other films throughout his long career and was a talented actor.  From what I've read, he died surrounded by his family in the Bahamas, and I can't think of a better way to go.  At least he made it to Halloween, and celebrated his 90th birthday several months ago.  RIP, Sir Sean Connery.  You were one of the last greats of Hollywood's Golden Age.  :-(

As of this afternoon, I still couldn't watch Charlie Brown's the Great Pumpkin on Apple TV+ without signing up for it first, free month or not.  So, fuck Apple TV+.  I'm not signing up to pay for something that has been free for the last 50 years.  I've got the damn peanuts holiday specials memorized by now, so I'll just remember them fondly and wait for Apple TV+ to wither and die, then watch them for free when they are available again.  I've never owned an Apple computer or other device, and frankly I've never had the desire to, so stealing pieces of my childhood isn't endearing you to me.

And that concludes 2020's October Horror Movie Review-A-Thon!  I, of course, am still enjoying horror movies as I type up this review, The Ninth Gate, to be specific, an annual favorite of mine.  I hope everyone stays safe as the covid death toll rises.  With any luck, it's all over and a distant memory by the time we get around to OHMRAT 2021.  In the meantime, I'll hopefully be back the next time I find a decent movie to review.  Happy and safe Halloween, everyone, though it's probably already over for most of the east coast, where I am.  :-)  Til next time!

30 - Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight (2020)

Sometimes it's hard to find a good horror movie to watch and review.  Sometimes, Netflix drops two of them on the night before Halloween.  As I've mentioned before, I think the US has more horror films per capita than any other country, but other countries occasionally dip their toes into the waters of crystal lake.  Tonight's choice is from Poland, of all places!  I didn't even know they liked horror films.

Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight (2020) begins like many horror movies do, with a camp full of kids in the woods.  This camp is for technology addicts to unplug and spends a few days in the woods without electronic devices, detached from the internet and computer games.  There's the usual mix of nerds and attractive teenaged girls and in-your-face counselors shouting about the perils of spending too much time on the internet.  They seperate into groups, which is usually where bad things start to happens, and of course, since this is a horror movie, bad things start to happen.

This is a Polish film, so of course I do not know any of the stars in it.  Acting and special effects were about normal for a movie of this type.  It's on Netflix if you want to check it out.  I don't know if I'd watch it twice, but let me break it down for you, so you have some idea what you are getting into.  Think the friday the 13th / Jason Voorhees movies, only if Jason were twins, and was mutated by an alien meteor.  Yep, I think that about covers it.  You can pretty much see the influences from the Jason Voorhees films everywhere you look.  Still, it's not entirely a copy.  Worth a watch, at least once, I think.

In other news, it's almost Halloween!  :-)  Hope everyone is having some safe Halloween fun.  I am hearing bad things in the news about the coronavirus running rampant, like one person being infected every second and someone dying every minute or so.  I hope everyone is doing their best to stay safe.  Happy Halloween, in any case!  Until tomorrow night!

29 - ParaNorman (2012)

I was reading an article about hw Hocus Pocus wasn't a great Halloween movie.  I mean, I like Hocus Pocus but I never thought it was exceptionally great, it's just that it checks a lot of the boxes when it comes to good halloween entertainment.  Witches, black cats, trick or treating, evil spellbooks made of human flesh supposedly written by Satan with an eye glaring out of the front cover...  uh...   yeah.  And the article also said Paranorman was just better.  I saw Paranorman a while back, but couldn't really recall it very well, so.  Let's try watching it again!

ParaNorman (2012) is a story about a little boy who just doesn't fit in.  Bullies pick on him at school, he has very few friends, not even his family understands him.  I can relate, except for one big difference. Norman speaks to the dead.  Like in an everyday, "Hello, how are you today?" sort of way.  Norman's biggest supporter is his grandmother, but he can't talk about her to his family, because Grandma is dead.  Norman makes a new friend at school, but things are a little rocky between them, mostly because it's Halloween and Norman's creepy uncle Prenderghast is dying and has a task for Norman.  Norman has to read a book to prevent a witch's curse from raising the dead on Halloween night, and let's be frank, that's a big responsibility for a little kid.

ParaNorman is on Netflix if you want to watch it.  I think the biggest difference between Hocus Pocus and Paranorman is the fact that ParaNorman is animated, and Hocus Pocus is not.  Paranorman also has what i guess is a more heartfelt message about acceptance and tolerance of the differences in people, where Hocus Pocus is mostly about entertainment.  I don't know, I think once you've seen Paranorman, you've pretty much got the thing down, whereas with Hocus Pocus, you can watch it every year without really ruining the fun.  There's not a ton of comedy in Paranorman.  The voice acting was ok in Paranorman, but I think the only voice I recognized was John Goodman as uncle Prenderghast.  Obviously the special effects in a cartoon are a lot easier to manage than live-action, so those are fine, if a bit cartoonish in paranorman.  Which do I think is better?  Still gonna give the nod to Hocus Pocus for a yearly Halloween treat.  Paranorman just doesn't re-watch very well.

In other news, only two more days left in the month!  It's been a pretty rough month for me, so I haven't been enjoying the horror as much as I could be.  My vehicle died, been trying to get a new one, and my neck injury has been aching like an infected tooth for about three weeks now.  I hope you people are having more fun than I am, but I am still doing my best to finish off the month in a sugar-coma from eating too much Halloween candy.  :-)

Back tomorrow night with another review, but if you aren't back for the last two days, have a safe and Happy Halloween!

28 - The Howling (1981)

I love Werewolf movies, especially in October.  There's just something about this time of year that howls things about full moons, releasing the beast within, and eating rare-cooked hamburgers.  I try to watch at least one new Werewolf movie every October, but if I can't watch something new, there are always the old favorites!

The Howling (1981) is about a TV newscaster who is hunting a story, and finds a little more than she bargained for.  Karen White is tracking down a killer named Eddie, who no one can seem to catch, and damned if her crack journalistic skill doesn't help her find him.  Also, he kinds of calls her and tells her where he is.  Which, is fine for her, because she wants this story, but...  I'm pretty sure Eddie intends for Karen White to be his next victim.  Something really bad happens, but the cops catch up to Eddie just in the nick of time.  Karen is traumatized by her experience, and a helpful Psychiatrist recommends she spend some time up at "The Colony," a retreat for people with depression and emotional trauma.  Karen heads to the Colony with her husband, but everything isn't quite as it appears...

If you guessed "Everyone at the colony is secretly a werewolf," come up and collect your prize.  I'm not sure what your prize is, but it's hairy and full of teeth.  So.  Probably a chihuahua.

The Howling stars Dee Wallace (also famous as the mom from Cujo) as Karen White, Patrick Macnee (from the 60's TV series Avengers, of course) as the helpful Psychiatrist.  Christopher Stone (who was Dee Wallace's husband in real life, and also played her husband in Cujo) plays Karen's husband.  Kevin McCarthy (Invasion of the body snatchers), John Carradine (the Owl from Secret of NIMH), Slim Pickens (Taggart from Blazing Saddles) and Noble Willingham (he really played some great villains, like the bad guy in The Last Boy Scout) also make appearances, and Robert Picardo (Yes, the Doctor from Voyager!) plays Eddie!  :-D  Yeah, I geek out about this movie all the time.  So many major stars, and most of them are dead now.  Acting is good and entertaining, and the Rick-Baker-Special-effects are excellent.  I have seen this movie lots, it is a classic werewolf flick, and very rewatchable.  I caught this movie on Turner Classic Movies, and it gets pretty popular around this time of year, so catch it next year if you can.

In other news, there's a rare Blue Moon on October 31st, Halloween, this year.  As everyone knows, full moon are popular with Werewolves, which is why I mention it right after reviewing the Howling.  Blue Moons are just a second full moon in a single month, which happens occasionally, but it's probably pretty rare for it to happen on Halloween.  According to the internet, the last one was in 1944, and the next one won't happen til 2039.  I'm starting to think years with Blue Moons on Halloween are just bad years.  Granted, I don't have a lot to go on, but in 1944, it was probably the worst part of World War II.  This year, well, it's 2020, and you guys know what kinda awful crap's been going down this year.  Tell you what, if I am still around in 2039 (I'll only be 69), and that year sucks too, the idea that blue moons on October 31st are a sign of bad years, I'm going to decide it is definitely a working theory and go from there.  :-D  Back tomorrow with another review!

27 - The Possession of Hannah Grace (2018)

I've been watching demonic possession movies all evening.  It's kind of hard to pick the best one, which was probably the Exorcist, which I have already reviewed this month.  The most realistic was probably the Exorcism of Emily Rose, but it's mostly legal stuff and not much action.  So I'll just pick the most entertaining one of the bunch.

The Possession of Hannah Grace (2018) begins in a Morgue, like many horror movies do.  The new night employee, Megan Reed, has a history, like many people do.  She used to be a police officer, but when her partner was killed, she couldn't draw her gun.  She just froze up.  It happens.  People just don't know how they are going to react in stressful situations, until they get put into one.  Sometimes, not all the training in the world can help.  Megan turned to drugs and alcohol, and eventually lost her job.  After recovering from her addiction, Megan was able to get a job in the Morgue.  Unfortunately, the new corpse being admitted to the Morgue tonight has a history, too.  And so does the bum who just broke into the Morgue.

Shay Mitchell plays Megan Reed, but I didn't really recognize the rest of the cast (or Shay Mitchell, for that matter)  Acting was decent, effects were pretty good for a movie of this type.  Gray Damon plays Andrew Kurtz, Megan's ex.  Kirby Johnson does a good job playing the corpse, Hannah Grace.  Nick Thune is Randy, a friendly ambulance driver.  Um, I think that's almost everybody.  I caught this movie on one of the Starz channnels.  Kind of a fun watch, a little scary here and there, generally high levels of tension and suspense, but still plenty of action.  I think I reviewed this one last year for my ohmrat 2019 and it's still jsut as entertaining, so certainly re-watchable.  Watch it if you feel like seeing a couple peeps do battle with a possessed corpse, and are tired of the usual Priest vs Demon battle royale scenario.

In other news, it's late, and I'm sleepy!  :-)  Only a few more days to go.  Hope I find some entertaining movies to watch.  Until next time!

26 - Girls With Balls (2018)

I must confess, I was actually looking for Tucker and Dale vs Evil when I stumbled upon this one.  Alan Tudyk is awesome, and I am definitely going to try and watch that somewhere again at some point.  America might have the best horror movies (ok, we probably have the most horror movies, if not the best, but at least we're great at something), but that doesn't mean other countries don't dip their hand into the horror genre at one point or another.

Girls With Balls (2018) is a french film (I think) about an all-girls volleyball team that takes a wrong turn at Alburqurque (sorry, bugs bunny reference) and ends up hanging out with a bunch of cannibalistic hillbilly hicks that like to hunt girls for sport.  But these aren't just any girls, these are the Falcons, the Champions!  And they aren't just going to lie down and take something like being killed and eaten!  They're going to fight back!

This movie stars a bunch of mostly-cute french girls that I have never seen before in my life.  Acting was barely passable for a movie of this type.  Effects were about as poor as the acting.  It's not that the movie wasn't entertaining, but it was almost played for laughs, like it was supposed to be a spoof, but nothing about the movie is actually funny.  I guess if you want to see a bunch of French Volleyball girls goofing off for a third of a movie, then running like hell for a third of the movie, then fighting with a bunch of inbred french dudes for the last third of the movie, then, watch this?  It's on Netflix if you feel the urge.  Not sure I'd watch it again.  Like I said, it's not that it wasn't entertaining, but scary or a serious slasher flick, it definitely isn't.  Still, I suppose it's sort of a comedy-horror flick?  Honestly, it's hard to classify this one.  I almost want to say it's bad, and it is, like when the Coach runs across a small dog, and it just attacks his scrotum for no apparent reason.  Other parts are laced with blood and gore, so, if that's what you are looking for, there is plenty of that here.  All in all, I'd say, meh?

In other news, there is no other news.  Halloween is this coming weekend, and I hope everyone is loving the horror movies like I am.  See you guys tomorrow night for another review!