Tuesday, October 4, 2022

3 - The Munsters (2022)

 Oh, i'm just trying to find decent movies to watch, and it's the hardest part of OHMRAT every year.  I look and look, and it's a race to see if I can find a movie to watch before the day is over, and squeezing the review in before midnight so it registers on the right day.  The life of a movie critic isn't easy, amirite?  Yeah, all you movie review critics out there know what i am talking about.  Usually, you guys get paid for it.  Me, I work for free.  I mean.  I don't want to, it's just.. nobody is paying me.  yet.  Hoepfully soon.

The Munsters (2022) is... not a horror movie.  Or a comedy.  Or...  well, i mean.  it's a movie, I guess.  I would say it's coherent, but... ok, it's awful.  I mean, awful, awful.  Oh my god.  Robb Zombie made this mess.  I thought his Halloween remakes were bad, but oh my god.  I don't know how he convinced netflix to pay for this steaming pile of crap.  I don't know what the man does for a living, but if people are paying him to make movies for him, they are idiots.

The only person i know in this movie is Sheri Moon Zombie, (who i just realized, is married to Rob Zombie, which makes more sense now), and she plays Lily, Herman's future wife.  This movie is more of an origin story for the munsters rather than a reboot, which is just, awful, I mean, he destroyed the origin story of Michael Myers, and then did it again with the Munsters.  I mean, i watched the munsters on TV and they were nothing like this.  I couldn't even get through this movie last night, I had to shut it off.  it made me so disappointed I just couldn't even finish it.  I'm not going to lie and say i sat through the rest of it, either.  I fast forwarded through the second half, watching a few minutes at a time, til I got tot he end.  The end wasan't even good.  There were no funny parts. like none.  Zero.  The dialogue was awful.  At one point there was a Sonny and Cher musical number.  For no particular reason.  It wasn't scary.  Zero scares.  This movie had absolutely no redeeming value whatsoever.  I feel bad just for having watched it.  It's extremely rare a movie makes me feel this bad for wassting my time on it.  I mean, i sit around drooling on myself and watching guys in godzilla suits duking it out in old japanese monster movies.  I mean, come on. if I can enjoy that and not enjoy the Munsters?  It has to be awwwful.

Okay, to sum up.  The Munsters.  netflix.  Awful.  I would tell you not to watch it, but nobody seems to believe me when I try to help them, so you can decide if you want to waste your time on it or not.  I will probably never watch another rob zombie movie in my life.  Just on the memory of this awful thing.  Ugh.  Like purposely eating a worm.  Only nobody dared me.  ugh.  Moving on, trying to forget I ever aw this.

In other news, I missed last night's post because I picked an awful movie to watch, so there's another movie review coming up very soon.


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