#3 - The Final Wish (2018)

One of the perks of my job as a horror movie blogger is watching horror movies I haven't seen yet.  It's also one of the downsides, since many of the newer horror flicks are complete and utter trash.  Tonight's crappy pick came from one of the showtime channels, so if you have that, you can waste an hour and a half of your valuable time that you can never get back!  And that, people, is a true horror story.

The Final Wish (2018) is about a guy who's been away from home for a long time, coming back after his father's passing.  The guy finds an old relic in his father's belongings that might actually be worth something, and then things start to go downhill from there.

Can you tell I wanted to say "all Hell breaks loose?"  I did, but that's not actually what happens, so I had to abandon that fun line of thought.  Lin Shaye (of Insidious fame) plays a nice supporting role as the guy's mother, who has been, shall we say, slightly unbalanced by her husband's passing?  Tony Todd (Candyman!) makes a cameo or two as the Librarian, and the rest of the actors are those guys where you go "hey, he looks oddly familiar, didn't I see them in...  oh, what was it?"  and then you realize that the guy you're thinking of is someone completely different, and you have no idea who the guy is, where your pants have gone, and how that bloody knife got into your hand.

There's a few unscary jump-scares, and a lot of yelling in this movie.  At one point, the main character totally goes apeshit, screaming unconvincingly at a guy who has no tongue, trying to make him verbally answer a question he's already frantically scrambling to write out an answer to.  The whole movie was pretty much like that, supposedly creepy scenes where I, as the viewer, was not actually creeped out at all.  I don't know, maybe I've just seen too many horror movies for this kind of schlock to scare or even entertain me, but I don't think anyone else really found the movie that scary either, so maybe it's just a crappy horror flick.  Again, it was on one of the showtime channels, if you want to see how bad it was.

Maybe I can try watching two or three horror movies a day, and seeing which of the three is best for a review.  I'm not sure I really have that kind of time, but meh, I'll see what I can do.  That's all I got for tonight.  Have fun, hope everyone is enjoying the cooler temperatures, and enjoy horror movie season!  :-D