Just a quick post to review who made the cut from last's week's premiere week. Only a few more days til my halloween horror movie review-a-thon begins! Assuming it does begin. It's been a rough week, but so far, I'm still alive. And as long as I live, I will continue to bring you the Halloween Horror movie Review-a-thon! Well. Unless I lose my limbs. Or come down with the flu. Or the sniffles.
Okay, so the first casualty of the fall premieres was American Horror Story. I guess this season's theme is Roanoke, but it's not anything to with the missing colony, as far as I can tell. The format is a bunch of actors pretending to be real-live witnesses telling their story, interspersed with actors playing actors playing the actors who are playing the "real" people telling their stories. I know it sounds confusing, and the pop-back-and-forth format is very annoying, at least to me. Also, what I've seen so far has been pretty boring, not scary. Maybe I didn't give it enough time, but if the first hour is boring, why stick around?
The Strain and Dusk Til Dawn have met similar fates to American Horror Story. This is the third season for both of them, and after missing so much of what's going on, it's just hard to pick up on the flow of the story by watching an episode here and there. With nothing new really going on in either series, I'm not interested enough to tune in to keep track.
Lucifer (monday nights) still looks interesting, especially with the addition of Cylon 6 (from Battlestar Galactica) to the cast. Can't recall the actress's name offhand, but she's not unattractive, and the basic premise of the show is still working. I'll keep watching, but that's the only thing left on Monday nights.
Marvel's Agents of SHIELD is on Tuesdays. Of course this one survived the cuts. Clark Gregg is still leading the cast, and with the addition of Ghost Rider to the dwindling team (now down to a handful), they might actually survive whatever menace the writers have cooked up for them this season.
Lethal Weapon (wednesdays) may be on its way out. The whole Murtaugh/Riggs dynamic is fine, but there's nothing new here. I'm still watching it because Damon Wayans is still pretty funny, and Jordana Brewster (Riggs' psychiatrist) is still pretty hot. I'm hoping the show starts getting fresh really soon. Designated Survivor (also wed) seems pretty boring, considering Keifer Sutherland is playing a government bureaucrat commanding a bunch of advisors. Sure, the president and congress are gone, but who were they? The show didn't even give me a hint who those people were, so I don't even care about them. All I've got left is Keifer doing non-action, and I'm not saying he can't act without action... What I am saying, is action is better to watch than non-action. If the show doesn't get exciting soon, I'll probably get bored just from watching keifer trying to act presidential. Shit, if I wanted to see people trying to act presidential, I'd watch Trump and Clinton.
MacGyver (fridays) epically failed within the first ten minutes. I was simultaneously bored and amused by how badly the show did things. Macgyver manages to catch bullets with a steel serving platter, the guy shooting him doesn't bother to aim at his legs, and macyver somehow manages to make a parachute out of canvas, a knife and duct tape in under ten seconds. Yea. The old macgyver actually had some sort of explanations as to how things got done, and the new macgyver doesn't explain anything. He just does the most ridiculous crap you can imagine, in the most contrived situations you could possibly think of. This Macgyver would be more apt thanking jesus for all the appropriate things being within easy reach every time he gets into trouble, because you never see this guy going "Shit, shit, can't find a paperclip! We're all going to diiieeee!" Not a keeper. I suspect the show will get cancelled before the end of the first season.
Exorcist (also fridays) looks promising. Not really scary enough (I've seen a LOT of horror by now, and I was alive when the movie Exorcist came out), but it's trying hard, and it might get there. It's trying to surprise the viewer, and i can't fault a show for trying hard to make me want to watch it. Not quite scary yet, but interesting, and the twists haven't been too predictable. Well, I predicted them, but I'm the black jesus of horror movies. I have no idea what that means.
I didn't even bother to check out Bull. Or Dr. Bull. OR whatever show the guy from NCIS is starring in. It's just another legal show. The whole catchphrase is... "He's NOT a lawyer... He's a Jury Consultant! (wink wink nudge nudge)" Yeah. I think I get it. It's another show about legal shit. Look, I know laws are important to stop rapists and murderers from raping my kids and killing my elderly mom. What I don't know, is anyone who idolizes lawyers. OR Jury Consultants. Sorry. Not my heroes. Lawyers are even less popular than polticians, and according to the news lately, police officers are rapidly dropping in popularity. Mostly for just randomly shooting unarmed black men. And yea, I know Bull's not a lawyer. It's close enough not to care. I figure Bull will get cancelled before the end of the first season.
Still waiting on Grimm. I guess this is the final season, but it's not starting til mid-season, or something. I'm also checking out Van Helsing (fridays) and Channel Zero (whenever it premieres) on Syfy. I'll let you know how those go.
That's all for tonight. Catch you guys in a few days, hopefully for the first horror movie of october. Oh, baby. My pants are blazing for you, newton crosby! I'm excited. Horror movies! Awesomeness. :-D
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
Monday, September 19, 2016
Revenant (2015), Fall Series Lineup
Okay, quick review of Revenant, and then right into the fall series' new and returning show times. Keep in mind, this isn't an exhaustive list of all the new and returning shows, just the ones that I may or may not watch.
Revenant (2015) stars Leonardo DiCaprio as Hugh Glass, an 1820's guide leading a bunch of fur trappers through a trapping excursion in the wilderness. I don't know where this exactly happened, but it's cold there, and there's mention of Pawnee, so, wherever they live, I don't know. Anywho, Mr. Glass and his half-indian son are with a bunch of rough and ready trappers who get attacked by indians, and have to fight their way back through the wilds to a nearby fort. Along the way, Leo gets raped by a bear. Hey, that's what I heard!
Revenant is all action, really. It starts out with a hunt, moves to the indian attack, and only gets more action-y from there. There's not a lot of character growth, everything happens over the course of maybe a week at most, and there's a lot of dying going on. Dialogue is at a minimum, and there's no explanation along the way. I found myself having a hard time distinguishing one group of fur-cloaked, bearded men from the next, and they were all just shooting and going all stabby on each other. I think there was a coherent plot in there, if you could suss it out, though the ending could be a little confusing. I wouldn't watch it again, mostly because there wasn't really a monster in there (unless you count the bear), and none of the action was particularly innovative, as far as I could tell. I guess it was an exciting movie, as I said, all action, but none of it seemed to leave much of an impression on me. Revenant is on HBO if you want to catch it yourself.
Now, on to the series. Let's start with the ones that premiered already, that I missed. Turns out that I missed the STRAIN (don't know when it premiered at all) but it's on sunday nights at 10 on FX. The Strain is a drama about Vampires in modern day NY being tracked and hunted by a Vampire Hunter and a doctor from the CDC. I saw the first couple seasons but it's kind of dragging on now and I don't know if I'll watch any more of it.
DUSK TIL DAWN premiered its third season a couple weeks ago on El Rey. It's on tuesday nights at 9 pm, I think? Another vampire show, this one based off the quentin tarantino / george clooney movie, From Dusk Til Dawn. The movie itself spawned 2 sequels, and the first season of the series was basically a detailed retelling of the movie, from the vampire perspective. I missed most of last season due to sheer boredom, and this season is so confusing now, I have no idea what's going on. It's not that the main characters (the gecko brothers) aren't back (although played by two different actors, of course), it's just that, I don't really know why they are doing any of this. There's a vampire queen from the first movie that I think could use some more character development, but she has about 30 seconds of screen time per episode. This season, I noticed Tom Savini (who was actually in From Dusk Til Dawn) showing up, which is cool, and it looks like all the various characters are coming together in some sort of vampire/human Scooby Gang, but I'm not sure if I can catch up on what's going on. Seems like nobody ever really dies in this show, and the enemies of last season are this season's heroes. I'm a bit lost, and that's never a good way to watch a show.
LUCIFER (9 pm mondays on Fox) begins a second season tonight (9/19). Satan comes to earth to start managing a bar during an extended vacation, falls in lust with a detective (played by lauren german, so I can understand why), and then the show turns into a buddy cop drama/comedy. I believe that's referred to as a "Dramedy" but I hate shortening two perfectly good descriptive words into a misunderstood mish-mash of garbled communication. Lucifer is supposedly based on a comic book that the show has already substantially deviated from, as I understand it, but that's just from reading what's been said on the internet. I've never actually read the comic, but I do like watching Lauren German. Highlight from the first season is Chloe (Lauren) divulging her pre-cop career as a porn actress. Giggity, as they say. Giggity, indeed.
Marvel's AGENTS OF SHIELD (10 pm tuesdays, ABC) premieres on the 20th of September. I love this show, and apparently, Ghost Rider is joining the cast. Not the Nicholas Cage version, either. After losing several regular cast members last season, I only hope the show is still good.
The 21st of september (wed) had two premieres that might be interesting. LETHAL WEAPON (8pm, Fox) is (hopefully) based off the buddy cop series of movies that Mel gibson and danny glover started back in the 80's. I know mel Gibson is almost universally despised nowadays, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't show up in this series. But, the movies were fun to watch, and for nostalgia's sake, I may check out the series. Also premiering is DESIGNATED SURVIVOR (10pm, ABC), a new Keifer Sutherland vehicle about an unimportant member of the government who becomes commander in chief after all the superior leaders of government die in some artfully-contrived "accident" that keifer probably planned all along. Don't give me that shit, I know he planned it! He planned it ALL! But, I may be wrong. I'm going to find out, maybe by watching it, maybe by just forgetting I ever made the prediction in the first place.
Friday the 23rd brings 3 series premieres. MACGYVER (8pm, CBS) is a re-hash of the old 80's series that richard dean anderson used to star in. I'm pretty sure it's not going to be renewed for a second season, because there's no way this show will fly today, but I may watch the series premiere just to see how bad it is. After that, there's EXORCIST (9pm, Fox), which is apparently a retelling of the scariest movie of all time. The only hype i've seen about this is actress Geena Davis (good to see her returning to some sort of starring role) saying that the series is freakin scary. Sounds good enough for me. At 10pm on Syfy, it's VAN HELSING. I don't know anything about this show, but after seeing the Van Helsing movie with Hugh jackman, knowing Van helsing from his numerous mythical battles with Dracula, and generally being a fan of things that kill vampires (sunshine, garlic, wooden stakes... wait, what?), I'm going to see how bad Syfy can muck it up.
Quite a week lined up! The rest of the month (and next) isn't as exciting, with a few minor exceptions. LUKE CAGE premieres on Netflix on the 30th of September, obviously there's no date or time for that, and I'll probably binge-watch the whole series the first week. ASH VS EVIL DEAD begins a second season on Starz at 8 pm on October 2, and right after that, WESTWORLD premieres n HBO at 9 pm. Westworld is apparently a serial remake of the Westworld movie from the 70's (80's?), about subservient vacation-bots run amok, and looks intriguing. I don't have to tell you about Ash vs evil dead, do I? Come on. It's actually got Bruce Campbell returning to the role that made him an A-list superstar (I may be exaggerating a smidgin). There's some other things premiering in October, but I don't have descriptions for what they are, so all I can do is check them out, and make recommendations later, if they are any good.
That's all I got for now! Enjoy Lucifer later, and have a good premiere week. Next month, October Horror movie review-a-thon begins! :-D I know, you guys been waiting all year for this. I hope I won't disappoint.
Revenant (2015) stars Leonardo DiCaprio as Hugh Glass, an 1820's guide leading a bunch of fur trappers through a trapping excursion in the wilderness. I don't know where this exactly happened, but it's cold there, and there's mention of Pawnee, so, wherever they live, I don't know. Anywho, Mr. Glass and his half-indian son are with a bunch of rough and ready trappers who get attacked by indians, and have to fight their way back through the wilds to a nearby fort. Along the way, Leo gets raped by a bear. Hey, that's what I heard!
Revenant is all action, really. It starts out with a hunt, moves to the indian attack, and only gets more action-y from there. There's not a lot of character growth, everything happens over the course of maybe a week at most, and there's a lot of dying going on. Dialogue is at a minimum, and there's no explanation along the way. I found myself having a hard time distinguishing one group of fur-cloaked, bearded men from the next, and they were all just shooting and going all stabby on each other. I think there was a coherent plot in there, if you could suss it out, though the ending could be a little confusing. I wouldn't watch it again, mostly because there wasn't really a monster in there (unless you count the bear), and none of the action was particularly innovative, as far as I could tell. I guess it was an exciting movie, as I said, all action, but none of it seemed to leave much of an impression on me. Revenant is on HBO if you want to catch it yourself.
Now, on to the series. Let's start with the ones that premiered already, that I missed. Turns out that I missed the STRAIN (don't know when it premiered at all) but it's on sunday nights at 10 on FX. The Strain is a drama about Vampires in modern day NY being tracked and hunted by a Vampire Hunter and a doctor from the CDC. I saw the first couple seasons but it's kind of dragging on now and I don't know if I'll watch any more of it.
DUSK TIL DAWN premiered its third season a couple weeks ago on El Rey. It's on tuesday nights at 9 pm, I think? Another vampire show, this one based off the quentin tarantino / george clooney movie, From Dusk Til Dawn. The movie itself spawned 2 sequels, and the first season of the series was basically a detailed retelling of the movie, from the vampire perspective. I missed most of last season due to sheer boredom, and this season is so confusing now, I have no idea what's going on. It's not that the main characters (the gecko brothers) aren't back (although played by two different actors, of course), it's just that, I don't really know why they are doing any of this. There's a vampire queen from the first movie that I think could use some more character development, but she has about 30 seconds of screen time per episode. This season, I noticed Tom Savini (who was actually in From Dusk Til Dawn) showing up, which is cool, and it looks like all the various characters are coming together in some sort of vampire/human Scooby Gang, but I'm not sure if I can catch up on what's going on. Seems like nobody ever really dies in this show, and the enemies of last season are this season's heroes. I'm a bit lost, and that's never a good way to watch a show.
LUCIFER (9 pm mondays on Fox) begins a second season tonight (9/19). Satan comes to earth to start managing a bar during an extended vacation, falls in lust with a detective (played by lauren german, so I can understand why), and then the show turns into a buddy cop drama/comedy. I believe that's referred to as a "Dramedy" but I hate shortening two perfectly good descriptive words into a misunderstood mish-mash of garbled communication. Lucifer is supposedly based on a comic book that the show has already substantially deviated from, as I understand it, but that's just from reading what's been said on the internet. I've never actually read the comic, but I do like watching Lauren German. Highlight from the first season is Chloe (Lauren) divulging her pre-cop career as a porn actress. Giggity, as they say. Giggity, indeed.
Marvel's AGENTS OF SHIELD (10 pm tuesdays, ABC) premieres on the 20th of September. I love this show, and apparently, Ghost Rider is joining the cast. Not the Nicholas Cage version, either. After losing several regular cast members last season, I only hope the show is still good.
The 21st of september (wed) had two premieres that might be interesting. LETHAL WEAPON (8pm, Fox) is (hopefully) based off the buddy cop series of movies that Mel gibson and danny glover started back in the 80's. I know mel Gibson is almost universally despised nowadays, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't show up in this series. But, the movies were fun to watch, and for nostalgia's sake, I may check out the series. Also premiering is DESIGNATED SURVIVOR (10pm, ABC), a new Keifer Sutherland vehicle about an unimportant member of the government who becomes commander in chief after all the superior leaders of government die in some artfully-contrived "accident" that keifer probably planned all along. Don't give me that shit, I know he planned it! He planned it ALL! But, I may be wrong. I'm going to find out, maybe by watching it, maybe by just forgetting I ever made the prediction in the first place.
Friday the 23rd brings 3 series premieres. MACGYVER (8pm, CBS) is a re-hash of the old 80's series that richard dean anderson used to star in. I'm pretty sure it's not going to be renewed for a second season, because there's no way this show will fly today, but I may watch the series premiere just to see how bad it is. After that, there's EXORCIST (9pm, Fox), which is apparently a retelling of the scariest movie of all time. The only hype i've seen about this is actress Geena Davis (good to see her returning to some sort of starring role) saying that the series is freakin scary. Sounds good enough for me. At 10pm on Syfy, it's VAN HELSING. I don't know anything about this show, but after seeing the Van Helsing movie with Hugh jackman, knowing Van helsing from his numerous mythical battles with Dracula, and generally being a fan of things that kill vampires (sunshine, garlic, wooden stakes... wait, what?), I'm going to see how bad Syfy can muck it up.
Quite a week lined up! The rest of the month (and next) isn't as exciting, with a few minor exceptions. LUKE CAGE premieres on Netflix on the 30th of September, obviously there's no date or time for that, and I'll probably binge-watch the whole series the first week. ASH VS EVIL DEAD begins a second season on Starz at 8 pm on October 2, and right after that, WESTWORLD premieres n HBO at 9 pm. Westworld is apparently a serial remake of the Westworld movie from the 70's (80's?), about subservient vacation-bots run amok, and looks intriguing. I don't have to tell you about Ash vs evil dead, do I? Come on. It's actually got Bruce Campbell returning to the role that made him an A-list superstar (I may be exaggerating a smidgin). There's some other things premiering in October, but I don't have descriptions for what they are, so all I can do is check them out, and make recommendations later, if they are any good.
That's all I got for now! Enjoy Lucifer later, and have a good premiere week. Next month, October Horror movie review-a-thon begins! :-D I know, you guys been waiting all year for this. I hope I won't disappoint.
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015), Diablo (2015)
Still trying to gear up for my Halloween Horror Movie Review-a-thon, so without further ado, here's two reviews at once.
Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015) is my first star wars movie review, I think. About 30 years after the events of episode 6 (Return of the Jedi, I think?), Luke has disappeared after one of his new apprentice Jedis goes rogue and kills all the other students. The First Order, the new government now in control of the former Empire, is looking for Luke, but can't find him. Why are they looking for Luke, you ask? As it turns out, the First Order is also controlled by a Sith Lord (I think), who is looking to stop Luke from recreating the Jedi, as they understand that Luke was looking for the first jedi temple before he went missing. So, a Resistance (formerly the rebels) pilot has a piece of a map to where Luke has gone, and he gets captured by the First Order, but hides the map piece in his trusty droid, BB-8 (this plot sounds strangely familiar). Enter Rey, a scavenger, who finds BB-8 and thickens the plot with some Force Action!
Okay, if you're wondering why the plot sounds familiar, it's extremely similar to Princess Leia hiding the plans for the Death Star in R2-D2 and having the Empire go after it. Also, the similarities between Rey (a scavenger on a desert planet) and Luke Skywalker (a farmer on a desert planet) are strikingly similar. I think if they had made Rey a guy, everyone would have thought this was a remake of the first movie. Also, there is, of course, The First Order, led by the Sith, who are eerily similar to the Empire, led by the Emperor. So, is this pretty much just a retelling of the same old story, by just changing the sex of the main character? Sounds like it, so far. Sure, there's appearances from the old characters, Han Solo, Chewie, Princess Leia and so on, but why is everything the same? Didn't the action of the first 6 movies have any effect whatsoever, or teach anyone any important lessons, like, don't mess with the Jedi? Nope!
This movie didn't seem terribly good, more like George Lucas looking for more money, but then, I've always been a Trekkie at heart. Now that I've cleared that up, let me tell you what I don't like about this movie. As I've already said, the plot hasn't changed any. The characters are pretty much the same. The droids are the same. The settings are the same. The plot is almost exactly the same. The writing? Well. That has gone downhill. I'll try really hard not to spoil this for you if you're a die-hard Star Wars fan, but at some point in the movie, a random character picks up a lightsaber and manages to almost hold his own against a trained Sith apprentice. If you've seen any of the previous movies, you know this is just ridiculous, because it completely destroys the Jedi/Sith "mystique," and I'm sure I don't even need to explain the why to you. Just seeing it pissed me off, and I don't even care that much about Star Wars. I can't even imagine what it's done to you Star Wars fans. And then... it happened again. Twice! In the same movie! Oh, George. Tsk, tsk.
The Force Awakens is playing on Starz! if you want to check it out for yourself. As it's a Star Wars movie, I can see why you'd want to view it yourself, and make your own decision about how awful it is, without just going by my review. I understand completely. I was just thinking I might watch it again just to see the laser fights, special effects, and cool-looking droids, but there weren't any. So I guess I'll wait for the next one, and hope it gets better from here on out.
On a side note, I couldn't help but recall the recent passing of the actor who played the Stormtrooper in the first Star Wars movie who bumped his head on a metal support. Typically remembered as the only Stormtrooper who could actually hit anything (his head, if nothing else), I watched the Stormtroopers in this movie to see if any of them could hit anything. Nope! Also, the actor who played R2-D2 recently passed away, as well. R2 didn't have a huge part in this movie, more a cameo appearance, but it was just a reminder that the original cast is getting on in years. Princess Leia was almost unrecognizable, and I felt rather bad for Carrie Fisher, after seeing pictures on the internet of her gallivanting in the ocean between scenes of Return of the Jedi in her "slave Leia" costume, and another of her getting her chest groped by Chewie. Ah, the old days, when you could grope a woman's breast, and not go straight to the gas chamber. Just goes to show you, it's always the quiet ones.
Also under review this week is Diablo (2015), a movie starring Scott Eastwood, Clint Eastwood's kid. This movie is about a civil war veteran whose wife is kidnapped by Mexican Banditos, and he sets out to track her down and get her back. To say more about the plot might ruin the movie for you, and I don't want to ruin the surprise, so I will just say it's playing on Epix Drive-In, and move on to my specifically vague review.
Diablo is almost two movies, to be perfectly honest. It starts out as your typical western, with Scott Eastwood shooting at some bandits as they ride off, with his homestead in flames around him. He sets off on horseback to track down his wife's kidnappers the next morning, and I have to be honest, I was thinking the movie sucked already. The dialogue seemed stilted and weird, and the frequent cameos by various well-known veteran actors seemed more like favors owed to Clint Eastwood to try and get Scott's flailing acting career off the ground. Things got so confusing I was actually considering switching it off, when the real movie came out. The horror movie. Oh yes. Diablo is actually a horror movie, and if you saw the beginning and thought "This movie is the goofiest western I have ever seen, next to Blazing Saddles," you wouldn't be alone. Trust me, it gets better, right around the time Danny Glover makes his cameo appearance. I have to admit, I was pleasantly surprised, and the movie wasn't even that good. Confusing, too, but still, a decent entry into the western/horror genre. Come to think of it, it may be the only entry in the western/horror genre, unless you count Cowboys vs Aliens, which was only a horror movie because Daniel Craig tried to act in it.
Okay, that's it for today. I will hopefully have some more reviews for you guys before the end of the month, as I am trying to get used to posting more frequently. The movie review-a-thon in October requires me to review a horror movie a day, and so far, I've managed to do it for about 5 years, now. Can I do it again? Only time will tell! :-D
Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015) is my first star wars movie review, I think. About 30 years after the events of episode 6 (Return of the Jedi, I think?), Luke has disappeared after one of his new apprentice Jedis goes rogue and kills all the other students. The First Order, the new government now in control of the former Empire, is looking for Luke, but can't find him. Why are they looking for Luke, you ask? As it turns out, the First Order is also controlled by a Sith Lord (I think), who is looking to stop Luke from recreating the Jedi, as they understand that Luke was looking for the first jedi temple before he went missing. So, a Resistance (formerly the rebels) pilot has a piece of a map to where Luke has gone, and he gets captured by the First Order, but hides the map piece in his trusty droid, BB-8 (this plot sounds strangely familiar). Enter Rey, a scavenger, who finds BB-8 and thickens the plot with some Force Action!
Okay, if you're wondering why the plot sounds familiar, it's extremely similar to Princess Leia hiding the plans for the Death Star in R2-D2 and having the Empire go after it. Also, the similarities between Rey (a scavenger on a desert planet) and Luke Skywalker (a farmer on a desert planet) are strikingly similar. I think if they had made Rey a guy, everyone would have thought this was a remake of the first movie. Also, there is, of course, The First Order, led by the Sith, who are eerily similar to the Empire, led by the Emperor. So, is this pretty much just a retelling of the same old story, by just changing the sex of the main character? Sounds like it, so far. Sure, there's appearances from the old characters, Han Solo, Chewie, Princess Leia and so on, but why is everything the same? Didn't the action of the first 6 movies have any effect whatsoever, or teach anyone any important lessons, like, don't mess with the Jedi? Nope!
This movie didn't seem terribly good, more like George Lucas looking for more money, but then, I've always been a Trekkie at heart. Now that I've cleared that up, let me tell you what I don't like about this movie. As I've already said, the plot hasn't changed any. The characters are pretty much the same. The droids are the same. The settings are the same. The plot is almost exactly the same. The writing? Well. That has gone downhill. I'll try really hard not to spoil this for you if you're a die-hard Star Wars fan, but at some point in the movie, a random character picks up a lightsaber and manages to almost hold his own against a trained Sith apprentice. If you've seen any of the previous movies, you know this is just ridiculous, because it completely destroys the Jedi/Sith "mystique," and I'm sure I don't even need to explain the why to you. Just seeing it pissed me off, and I don't even care that much about Star Wars. I can't even imagine what it's done to you Star Wars fans. And then... it happened again. Twice! In the same movie! Oh, George. Tsk, tsk.
The Force Awakens is playing on Starz! if you want to check it out for yourself. As it's a Star Wars movie, I can see why you'd want to view it yourself, and make your own decision about how awful it is, without just going by my review. I understand completely. I was just thinking I might watch it again just to see the laser fights, special effects, and cool-looking droids, but there weren't any. So I guess I'll wait for the next one, and hope it gets better from here on out.
On a side note, I couldn't help but recall the recent passing of the actor who played the Stormtrooper in the first Star Wars movie who bumped his head on a metal support. Typically remembered as the only Stormtrooper who could actually hit anything (his head, if nothing else), I watched the Stormtroopers in this movie to see if any of them could hit anything. Nope! Also, the actor who played R2-D2 recently passed away, as well. R2 didn't have a huge part in this movie, more a cameo appearance, but it was just a reminder that the original cast is getting on in years. Princess Leia was almost unrecognizable, and I felt rather bad for Carrie Fisher, after seeing pictures on the internet of her gallivanting in the ocean between scenes of Return of the Jedi in her "slave Leia" costume, and another of her getting her chest groped by Chewie. Ah, the old days, when you could grope a woman's breast, and not go straight to the gas chamber. Just goes to show you, it's always the quiet ones.
Also under review this week is Diablo (2015), a movie starring Scott Eastwood, Clint Eastwood's kid. This movie is about a civil war veteran whose wife is kidnapped by Mexican Banditos, and he sets out to track her down and get her back. To say more about the plot might ruin the movie for you, and I don't want to ruin the surprise, so I will just say it's playing on Epix Drive-In, and move on to my specifically vague review.
Diablo is almost two movies, to be perfectly honest. It starts out as your typical western, with Scott Eastwood shooting at some bandits as they ride off, with his homestead in flames around him. He sets off on horseback to track down his wife's kidnappers the next morning, and I have to be honest, I was thinking the movie sucked already. The dialogue seemed stilted and weird, and the frequent cameos by various well-known veteran actors seemed more like favors owed to Clint Eastwood to try and get Scott's flailing acting career off the ground. Things got so confusing I was actually considering switching it off, when the real movie came out. The horror movie. Oh yes. Diablo is actually a horror movie, and if you saw the beginning and thought "This movie is the goofiest western I have ever seen, next to Blazing Saddles," you wouldn't be alone. Trust me, it gets better, right around the time Danny Glover makes his cameo appearance. I have to admit, I was pleasantly surprised, and the movie wasn't even that good. Confusing, too, but still, a decent entry into the western/horror genre. Come to think of it, it may be the only entry in the western/horror genre, unless you count Cowboys vs Aliens, which was only a horror movie because Daniel Craig tried to act in it.
Okay, that's it for today. I will hopefully have some more reviews for you guys before the end of the month, as I am trying to get used to posting more frequently. The movie review-a-thon in October requires me to review a horror movie a day, and so far, I've managed to do it for about 5 years, now. Can I do it again? Only time will tell! :-D
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