Still trying to gear up for my Halloween Horror Movie Review-a-thon, so without further ado, here's two reviews at once.
Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015) is my first star wars movie review, I think. About 30 years after the events of episode 6 (Return of the Jedi, I think?), Luke has disappeared after one of his new apprentice Jedis goes rogue and kills all the other students. The First Order, the new government now in control of the former Empire, is looking for Luke, but can't find him. Why are they looking for Luke, you ask? As it turns out, the First Order is also controlled by a Sith Lord (I think), who is looking to stop Luke from recreating the Jedi, as they understand that Luke was looking for the first jedi temple before he went missing. So, a Resistance (formerly the rebels) pilot has a piece of a map to where Luke has gone, and he gets captured by the First Order, but hides the map piece in his trusty droid, BB-8 (this plot sounds strangely familiar). Enter Rey, a scavenger, who finds BB-8 and thickens the plot with some Force Action!
Okay, if you're wondering why the plot sounds familiar, it's extremely similar to Princess Leia hiding the plans for the Death Star in R2-D2 and having the Empire go after it. Also, the similarities between Rey (a scavenger on a desert planet) and Luke Skywalker (a farmer on a desert planet) are strikingly similar. I think if they had made Rey a guy, everyone would have thought this was a remake of the first movie. Also, there is, of course, The First Order, led by the Sith, who are eerily similar to the Empire, led by the Emperor. So, is this pretty much just a retelling of the same old story, by just changing the sex of the main character? Sounds like it, so far. Sure, there's appearances from the old characters, Han Solo, Chewie, Princess Leia and so on, but why is everything the same? Didn't the action of the first 6 movies have any effect whatsoever, or teach anyone any important lessons, like, don't mess with the Jedi? Nope!
This movie didn't seem terribly good, more like George Lucas looking for more money, but then, I've always been a Trekkie at heart. Now that I've cleared that up, let me tell you what I don't like about this movie. As I've already said, the plot hasn't changed any. The characters are pretty much the same. The droids are the same. The settings are the same. The plot is almost exactly the same. The writing? Well. That has gone downhill. I'll try really hard not to spoil this for you if you're a die-hard Star Wars fan, but at some point in the movie, a random character picks up a lightsaber and manages to almost hold his own against a trained Sith apprentice. If you've seen any of the previous movies, you know this is just ridiculous, because it completely destroys the Jedi/Sith "mystique," and I'm sure I don't even need to explain the why to you. Just seeing it pissed me off, and I don't even care that much about Star Wars. I can't even imagine what it's done to you Star Wars fans. And then... it happened again. Twice! In the same movie! Oh, George. Tsk, tsk.
The Force Awakens is playing on Starz! if you want to check it out for yourself. As it's a Star Wars movie, I can see why you'd want to view it yourself, and make your own decision about how awful it is, without just going by my review. I understand completely. I was just thinking I might watch it again just to see the laser fights, special effects, and cool-looking droids, but there weren't any. So I guess I'll wait for the next one, and hope it gets better from here on out.
On a side note, I couldn't help but recall the recent passing of the actor who played the Stormtrooper in the first Star Wars movie who bumped his head on a metal support. Typically remembered as the only Stormtrooper who could actually hit anything (his head, if nothing else), I watched the Stormtroopers in this movie to see if any of them could hit anything. Nope! Also, the actor who played R2-D2 recently passed away, as well. R2 didn't have a huge part in this movie, more a cameo appearance, but it was just a reminder that the original cast is getting on in years. Princess Leia was almost unrecognizable, and I felt rather bad for Carrie Fisher, after seeing pictures on the internet of her gallivanting in the ocean between scenes of Return of the Jedi in her "slave Leia" costume, and another of her getting her chest groped by Chewie. Ah, the old days, when you could grope a woman's breast, and not go straight to the gas chamber. Just goes to show you, it's always the quiet ones.
Also under review this week is Diablo (2015), a movie starring Scott Eastwood, Clint Eastwood's kid. This movie is about a civil war veteran whose wife is kidnapped by Mexican Banditos, and he sets out to track her down and get her back. To say more about the plot might ruin the movie for you, and I don't want to ruin the surprise, so I will just say it's playing on Epix Drive-In, and move on to my specifically vague review.
Diablo is almost two movies, to be perfectly honest. It starts out as your typical western, with Scott Eastwood shooting at some bandits as they ride off, with his homestead in flames around him. He sets off on horseback to track down his wife's kidnappers the next morning, and I have to be honest, I was thinking the movie sucked already. The dialogue seemed stilted and weird, and the frequent cameos by various well-known veteran actors seemed more like favors owed to Clint Eastwood to try and get Scott's flailing acting career off the ground. Things got so confusing I was actually considering switching it off, when the real movie came out. The horror movie. Oh yes. Diablo is actually a horror movie, and if you saw the beginning and thought "This movie is the goofiest western I have ever seen, next to Blazing Saddles," you wouldn't be alone. Trust me, it gets better, right around the time Danny Glover makes his cameo appearance. I have to admit, I was pleasantly surprised, and the movie wasn't even that good. Confusing, too, but still, a decent entry into the western/horror genre. Come to think of it, it may be the only entry in the western/horror genre, unless you count Cowboys vs Aliens, which was only a horror movie because Daniel Craig tried to act in it.
Okay, that's it for today. I will hopefully have some more reviews for you guys before the end of the month, as I am trying to get used to posting more frequently. The movie review-a-thon in October requires me to review a horror movie a day, and so far, I've managed to do it for about 5 years, now. Can I do it again? Only time will tell! :-D
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