It's Scarlett Johansson night on the scrolls of wisdom blog! Yay!
I won't go into how awesome her career has been, or how great an actress she is, because I am mostly impressed with how hot she is. But I'm a heterosexual male, so, of course that's what I'm impressed with. Duh. Moving on.
Let's start with Lucy (2014). Lucy is a pretty basic story that can easily be gleaned from the few previews they've released about the movie. To make the lead-in story short, Lucy (Scarlett Johansson) is a college co-ed trying to get back to her studying when she's roped into being a drug mule for a Japanese drug syndicate by her friend Richard. When the drugs Lucy is carrying start leaking into Lucy's system after a beating, Lucy's consciousness is altered, so to speak. Since many narcotic drugs alter the consciousness to begin with, this isn't a real surprise. In this case, the drug CPH-4 is supposedly a synthetic copy of a hormone produced in miniscule quantities by pregnant women. According to the movie, this hormone is enough to trigger the development of the brain, nervous system, and the growth of the limbs in the fetus, so it's apparently quite powerful even in tiny quantities. The drug triggers Lucy's brain to begin using more than the 10% that most human brains use, and as her brain expands, so do her abilities. The japanese drug cartel, however, is now after Lucy, trying to recover the bag of drugs she was carrying. Can Lucy expand her brain to use 100% of its capacity before they kill her?
This is one of those race-against time movies, I suppose. First, I'm not really fond of this movie for a number of reasons. One, it falls into using the myth that we only use 10% of our brains. This is bunk. We only use 10% to 15% of our brains at a time, because each section of our brain serves a different purpose, and we don't do everything our brains are capable of at once. For instance, how often are we called upon to solve complex mathematical equations while eating dinner, juggling, laughing at a funny joke, and having sex with the person we are in love with? Exactly. All parts of our brain are used, just at different times, and for different purposes. With this understanding of the brain, it's actually better to use less of our brains at a time, because this would mean we are capable of many different tasks, instead of just ten or so. The second problem I have with this movie is, it isn't very good. There's a little action at the beginning, than a lot of talking, then some action at the end, and there isn't very much action in between. Also, Scarlett's acting goes from over the top emotion (apparently portraying your typical freaked-out dumbass co-ed, I guess), to emotionless pretty much in less than a minute. I guess it sort of fits in with the story line, but why the expansion of intellect should dampen emotion is beyond me. Since emotion comes from the mind in the first place, wouldn't expansion of the brain capacity improve the capacity for emotion, as well? Meh, that makes sense to me, but I guess they didn't go that way. My third problem with this movie is that the drug that leaked into Lucy's system is apparently going to kill her in a day or two. Which, given her evolved abilities as her brain capacity grows, how does this make sense? She can stop pain, heal her own wounds, tell what's wrong with everyone around her, shift herself through time and space, and alter her DNA and appearance to anything she wants, but she can't stop a drug from killing her? Seems, I don't know, counter-intuitive, somehow.
I didn't quite enjoy Lucy. There's a lot of scene-jumping, where you're watching Scarlett going about her activities, and suddenly there's a leopard stalking its prey. I guess this is supposed to mean that someone is stalking Lucy, or that her actions are that of your typical frightened animal, or something like that, but it really doesn't add to the movie in any noticeable way. In fact, it's rather distracting. As Lucy's brain escalates it's "percentage" the actual number keeps popping up on the screen to let you know how much she's using. Great. thanks for keeping me updated. Now show some actual action so I don't doze off. As Arsenio Hall used to say in his monologue, this is basically one of those things that make you go "Hmmmmmm." Supposedly, this movie is supposed to make you think. I'm not sure what about. I was pretty much thinking I'd like to see Scarlett naked, but I'm not sure if that's the point the movie was trying to get across. Morgan Freeman was in this movie too, but his role was brief and supporting at best.
I thought Scarlett was much better in Captain America: Winter Soldier (2014). To sum this movie up, Captain America is out pal-ling around with Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) when they discover a plot within SHIELD. If you've been following Marvel's Agents of SHIELD (the TV series), then you know that HYDRA had infiltrated SHIELD years ago and has been bending its assets to their will almost since its inception. The events in the TV series are pretty much intended to coincide with the events of this movie, but I hadn't seen this movie until just now because I never go to the movies. In any case, Black Widow and Captain America have to work together to stop HYDRA's plot before HYDRA kills millions in a plot to rule the world.
This movie was tons better than Lucy for a number of reasons. One, it shows off Scarlett much better than in Lucy. Not in the sense that it reveals more of her body, as much as I would have liked that. Instead, Black Widow just sort of pals around with Steve Rogers (Captain America) undercover through most of the movie, giving scarlett a chance to show off just how good she looks just standing around, walking through a mall, or chatting with old Steve-a-rino. Her dress was casual, and her attitude was spunky, and it really made her seem all the more dangerous that she didn't have to "suit up" to kill you. Nor get particularly angry. Between her resourcefulness, combat skills and the sheer fact that she doesn't even have any superpowers, Black Widow still manages to hold her own with everyone from well-armed HYDRA agents to cyborg killing machines. It doesn't surprise me that they paired Captain America with Black Widow in this movie, because she's tons better at kicking ass than Steve Rogers. There was plenty of action, lots of intrigue, and a few surprises along the way, too. And of course, shit-tons of explosions.
You want my advice? Give Natasha Romanoff a superpower or two (not that she needs any) and give her her own movie series, or TV series. And for crying out loud, Scarlett, you're gorgeous. Use the sexuality inherent in your character to help you get the job done. If a sexy dress or a bikini will distract the guards a little more than usual, show off some skin! Maybe you don't want to show off that incredible body of yours, but wouldn't your character use every asset at her disposal to get the job done? Yes, yes she would, and you know I'm right. Not only will it make the Black Widow character all the more effective, but you'll gain a few more viewers along the way, as well. (shrug) Just an idea.
So, to recap. Lucy, no, not so good. Skip it. Captain America: Winter Solder, yes. Good. Watch it. Winter Soldier was showing on Starz!, and Lucy, I managed to catch on DVD, but I am sure it'll make the rounds on the premium channels pretty soon.
The only real drawback is that neither movie had any nudity in it, and yea, I know, there's tons of nudity on the internet if I want it, but why relegate such a natural human condition to the relative shadows and secrecy of the internet? Bring it out in the open! Yea, I know my attitude is more European than the American norm, but it just makes more sense to me to reveal a normal aspect of the human condition than trying to hide it all the time. If it makes movies more enjoyable along the way, where's the harm? (shrug)
Ah, well. That's enough for tonight. Two movie reviews for the price of one. And you didn't have to spend a dime! What a deal! Catch you guys next weekend, or whenever.
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