Saturday Double Feature - Bad-Ass (2012) and Bad-Ass 2: Bad Asses (2014)

It's not every day I get to watch a film I haven't seen before, followed immediately by it's sequel, which I haven't seen either.  It would be almost like watching Alien, followed by Aliens, except for two things.  One, Sigourney Weaver isn't in Bad-Ass.  Also, there are no aliens in Bad-Ass.  Normally, that would be enough to de-classify it as a movie I would be willing to watch.  However, Danny Trejo was in Predators, and in the sequel, Bad-Asses, Danny Glover appears.  You sci-fi fans will remember Danny Glover was the hero in Predator 2.  Honestly, since that was pretty much the last movie I saw him in (either that or Lethal Weapon 4), I'm surprised how much he's aged.  Danny Glover looks OLD.  However, he can still act pretty damn good, and frankly, that's all that matters when you're talking about a movie.  Well, unless there's boobs, in which case, more than the acting matters.

Bad-Ass (2012) was apparently based on the true story (don't quote me on that, that's just what I heard) of a Vietnam Vet who was accosted on a bus by a couple hooligans, and kicked their asses, basically making him a real-life version of Kick-Ass, which I reviewed a few weeks ago (well, technically it was Kick-Ass 2).  I'm guessing that's why the titles of the two movies are similar.  Maybe Kick-Ass got inspiration from Bad-Ass, or vice versa.  Either way, it illustrates the first rule of being a bully, and that is:  There's always someone out there meaner, stronger or tougher than you are, so be careful who you pick on.  Those of you with some brains may think, wouldn't remembering that rule pretty much prevent you from being a bully?  Why yes, yes it would!  That's why it's the first rule.  I hate bullies.  :-)  The Bad-Ass movie follows Danny Trejo playing the role of Bad-Ass, starting with the bus incident and continuing on through the first movie, a second movie, and as I understand it, they are in the process of making a third movie.  Apparently, Bad-Ass hates bullies too, because he beats the bejeesus out of everyone who picks on him, or his friends, or random-passers-by.  In the first movie, Frank Vega (aka Bad-Ass) loses his best friend in a shooting incident, and the police do nothing to help solve the crime.  Angry and looking for justice, Frank starts digging into the shooting, and uncovers a connection between thugs and corrupt politicians.  Needless to say, both the thugs and the corrupt politicians don't want Frank digging into their business, so they send some bad-asses to do some digging of their own.  Grave-digging.  Heh, heh, heh.  Okay, that was a bit lame.  Bad-Ass 2: Bad-Asses (2014) adds Danny Glover to the mix, as a shopkeeper who gets mixed up in a fight between Frank and some drug dealers.  And yes, I realize that's a damn short synopsis of the second movie, but I don't want to give too much away, because both movies are decent.

Okay, let's sum up why you'd want to watch these movies.  Danny Trejo, not being over-the-top bad-ass like in Machete, but actually acting like a Vietnam Vet who doesn't take shit from anyone.  Danny Glover, an accomplished actor who always brings stage presence to the screen.  Hot Babes hitting on old guys.  Oh, and beards.  Danny Trejo rocks a beard that's even more awesome than my own, and that's hard for a bearded man to admit.  Sure, there's no aliens or monsters in Bad-Ass or the sequel, and that's not always a bad thing.  Sometimes you just want to watch a good, old-fashioned story about a couple of old guys walking around town (or in this case, taking the bus) and kicking some ass, and if that's what you want, then this is the movie series for you.

Couple of things I'd like to mention.  One, I loved the side-bit in the second movie, where Danny Glover picks up a college co-ed who has a thing for older men.  I thought it was pretty funny, and if I had a dime for every time a babe found my greying beard attractive, well, I'd have a couple dimes to rub together.  Maybe even three or four!  What can I say, I'm a silver-haired warthog!  Or, maybe that's a silver fox.  I can't really agree with anyone thinking of me as a silver fox.  First one is probably more accurate.

Also, on the minus side, what is up with Danny Trejo's movies and losing an eye?  In Machete, Michelle Rodriguez plays some rebel babe who not only gets shot in one eye in the first movie, but shot in the other eye in the second.  Interestingly, she gets no brain damage from, you know, that whole HIGH VELOCITY BULLET ENTERING YOUR SKULL THROUGH YOUR EYE SOCKET thing.  Nope, she just loses the eye in question.  She referred to it as "having her eye shot out."  Except bullets don't just stop at the eye socket when they are fired directly into your face.  They go into your brain and mess shit up.  To the point where you spend a lot of time in the hospital, comatose and shitting yourself because your brain doesn't work right anymore.  And that's only if you live through the experience.  And yet in the second Machete movie, Michelle loses a second eye, and keeps on fighting!  Also, in the second Bad-Ass movie, and I hope I'm not giving too much away, someone gets stabbed in the eye by a long pointy object.  And... they show up a few hours later with an eye patch, and everything seems to be working fine.  Maybe someone, maybe Danny Trejo, should pass along the message that, HEY!  That's not really realistic.  Because...  a guy running around killing people with a Machete...  in space...  is... realistic.  Shut up.  I'm just trying to make a point here.

Bad-Ass and it's sequel are available on Netlfix.  I like them because Danny Trejo actually does some acting, rocks an awesome beard, and brings in Danny Glover as supporting cast, in addition to the awesome selection of villains.  Worth at least a watch, and the special effects are minimal.

In other news, there is no other news.  Having a crappier than average summer here in WNY.  If it's warm where you are, I hope you are enjoying it.  Catch you guys next week!

Surprise Sunday Reviews - Iron Man 3 (2013), Thor: The Dark World (2013)

It's Superhero weekend on the Scrolls of Wisdom Blog!  Yesterday it was The Amazing Spider-Man, which I didn't particularly care for, and today I saw Iron Man 3 and Thor: The Dark World!  Yea, been a busy weekend.  Well, let's get right to the reviews, because you don't come here to listen to me babble insanely about the weather.  Or, maybe you do.  If so...  You're odd.

Iron Man 3 (2013) is the third installment in the life story of Robert Downey, Jr.  Wait.  No.  That's the actor.  Right.  Tony Stark, that's the guy.  Tony Stark is Iron Man.  I mean, if Robert Downey, Jr went around saying "I am Iron Man" all the time, well, I'd guess he was dipping into the old liquor cabinet.  Again.  The first two Iron Man movies, and let me be clear, aside from the numerous times I have seen Spider-Man done and re-done, the Iron Man and Thor movie series are, in fact, new to modern times, as far as I know.  Although, Thor's story is about as old as the vikings are, so, I mean, it's not like Marvel is telling us anything completely original, there.  Makes me wonder if the Norwegians have any prior claim to Marvel's use of the name Thor, or are getting a percentage of profits from the movies?  But, I digress.

In Iron Man 3, Tony Stark has a semi-stable relationship with Pepper Potts, his former assistant, but he's having a little trouble sleeping.  Apparently, the events of the Avengers movie, where he nearly died after falling through a wormhole, have given him insomnia.  Pffft, pansy, can't deal with falling through a wormhole after fighting an alien army?  Sheesh.  After spending a few days not sleeping, working hard on upgrading his armor, Tony Stark turns on the news to see a series of terrorist bombings, with a super-villain by the name of Mandarin taking credit.  As Tony goes longer and longer without sleep, we come to find out, these simple terrorist bombings are not so simple as we first believed.  Will Tony manage to stop the Mandarin before dozing off?

I wasn't very fond of Iron Man 3.  To be honest, I never really liked Iron Man, the superhero, either.  Sure, it's nice to be a genius (I know how that is), and it's nice to be rich (wish I knew how that was), and it's nice to be adored by millions of babes (I may be overestimating my appeal if I say I know how that is), but the whole rock star life Tony Stark lives just seems so empty to me.  (shrugs)  He didn't even seem all that impressive when I read his comic books, so I don't think it's anything the movies have done to alter the comic book version.  If I had to guess, Iron man is Marvel's equivalent of Batman.  Rich hero, makes his own costume and gadgets, runs his own company, etc.  I guess after two movies, I'm kind of used to Robert Downey, Jr's portrayal of Iron Man, but Iron Man 3 didn't seem to deepen his character any.  I guess the movie itself wasn't bad, but I guess I was hoping for something new, or different, or better, and didn't get any of that.  Suffice it to say, if you want more Iron Man than you got from the first two movies, well, here's another dose.  Sufficiently enjoyable for watching it once for the action, of which there wasn't particularly a ton, but watching it again for the excitement seems a bit overmuch.

One thing I will say is, I thought the super-villain and his cronies could have used more explanation.  I mean, you've got a botanist who says something about regenerating tissue and then something about a glitch and then supposedly Tony Stark drunkenly solves the problem by scribbling down an equation on the back of a name tag.  Look, I'm a scientist here, okay?  I know your average viewer might be happy with "regenerating tissue" + "glitch" + "complicated-looking equation" = "super villain," but I'm going to need a little bit more than that.  Some kind of damned explanation might have been nice, even something a little more detailed about HOW the botanist was trying to regenerate tissue, by funneling the excess heat your body generates naturally into a healing boost, maybe.  See how easy that was?  Now THAT explains everything that happened to the super villain in the movie, and only took me about 3 seconds to figure out.  Why couldn't that have been included in the movie so the people of slightly above-average intelligence out there could just go "Ah, makes sense?"  Don't ask me.  I don't make these movies.

As far as Thor: The Dark World (2013) goes, that movie was only slightly better.  The second installment of the Thor movies, in which the Bifrost Bridge was fractured in the first, begins with Thor and the armies of Asgard settling all the unrest that developed from Loki's actions in the first movie.  Also, they've somehow managed to repair the Bifrost bridge, which sort of makes sense when you consider that they were the people that built it in the first place, but DOESN'T make sense when you consider that even Loki was convinced that once Thor had broken the bridge, he'd never be able to return to Midgard (earth) again.  Of course, the minute one problem is taken care of, another arises.  Isn't that always the way with the life of a hero?  In this case, there's plenty of explanation as to what's going on.  The Dark Elves, or Svartalf, as the vikings called them, were put down millennia ago by Odin's father, but have returned, seeking their ancient weapon of Aether, or basically, liquid darkness, that will allow them to, how shall I put this, put out the lights everywhere?  Yea, close enough.

This movie, much like Iron Man, is more of the same.  More Thor, more Loki, more Odin, more Jane Foster as played by Natalie Portman.  Okay, any movie with more Natalie Portman is a good thing, but still.  There was slightly more violence in this one than Iron Man 3, but still not an entirely satisfying amount.  You want to know of a movie that I consider a satisfying amount of violence in it?  Check out Knights, with Kris Kristofferson.  Yea, older movie, but that movie was just basically one long fight from start to finish, and that's why I remember it so well.

I will say there were aliens with guns in this movie, and I found that a good thing.  Let me explain why.  You've got the Asgards, supposedly so far advanced that their science seems like magic to us.  And yet they are using swords, spears and hammers.  Here's the thing, when you're coming up with Gods, like the vikings did, giving them the most advanced hardware to wield just makes sense.  Hammers, swords and spears were tools of the trade back in the Viking years, so it only makes sense that that's what the vikings had them using.  Nowadays, if a culture comes up with a god, they're going to arm them with guns, missiles, rockets and so on.  Like Iron Man, for instance.  Clinging to the idea of actual, advanced alien species using swords and hammers just seems ridiculous to me.  The aliens in this movie, called the Svartalf by the Asgardians, look like Dark Elves, and use guns, grenades and flying warships.  Now THAT'S an advanced alien species.  I mean, look, I know the Asgardians are supposed to be the good guys, but come on.  Chris Hemsworth walking around in a cape, carrying a big hammer, and smacking people over the head with it...  well, that does not sound very advanced to me.  Sure, you can tell me it's a magic hammer, and Thor has been using advanced technology for so long that he has only a child's level of understanding with the basics as far as explaining it to humans goes, but that's just being contradictory.  The aliens and their guns seemed to rape the SHIT out of the Asgardians in this movie.  if the Asgardians are so far advanced, wouldn't they have realized ages ago that shooting someone from far away with some kind of projectile weapon is TONS more effective than using a sword at close range?  So why are the Asgardians clinging to swords, spears and shields?  Yea, doesn't make sense to me, either, except that that's the way the Vikings came up with them, and human beings haven't invented a god for themselves in over a thousand years.

Might be time to come up with a new one.  I should invent a god.  Why not Iron Man?  Let's do it, let's all worship Tony Stark!  Meh, okay maybe that's not so smart.  Then Robert Downey, Jr. becomes the face of the new god and that's just not someone I want to see plastered all over temples for the next two thousand years.  Okay, okay, it was a bad idea, all right?  Forget I said anything.

That's all for tonight.  On to watch True Blood and The Strain.  Warm as hell here tonight.  Sweating me balls off, even if August is my favorite summer month.  I like it because it's warm, and usually quiet compared to the noisiness of July.  Plus the crickets have been chirping up a storm the last few weeks, which is always nice to hear compared to the oh-so-silent nights of winter, spring and early summer.  Catch you guys next week!

Saturday Review - The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)

Okay, let me start by saying, I'm 44 years old, and I love superhero stories.  Yep, I'm a geek, and proud of it!  I hope that one day, the supreme court will allow us geeks to marry and reproduce like Gays and Lesbians are allowed to, at least in some states.  But for now, I'll take my superhero movies.

I mention my age not to impress you.  I know, all of you are like, 44, w00t, you beast!  Yes, I know.  I'm ancient.  heh  To be honest, I didn't think I'd make it this far, but the point is, Spider-Man has been around since my youth.  I have seen him get bitten by that radioactive, genetically altered spider, like, a dozen times now.  Do we really, honestly, SERIOUSLY, need to see this over again, EVERY TIME someone decides to "re-do" Spider-Man?  Can we not, like, start somewhere around the middle of his career?  I mean, it's not like we haven't seen him get bit, lose his uncle, and start his career like a hundred times now.  We KNOW how this shit works.  Maybe a short montage next time, if we REALLY need to see it all again?  Spider bite, dead uncle, aunt may, then BAM right into the story line?  I mean, let's face it, there's TONS of super-villains Spider-Man has fought, any ten of them would be GREAT to see in a movie.  How about THEIR origin stories?  I mean obviously, since it's a Spider-Man movie, you wouldn't even need to spend much time on their origins, either, and then you could spend the whole movie actually having him fighting them!  Which, is honestly why we're all here, innit?  Seriously.  Nobody watches a Spider-Man movie to see him get bitten by a spider.  Nobody watches the movie to see him lose his uncle Ben.  That's just stuff that has to happen before he becomes Spider-Man, as we know and love him.  We watch these movies, to see Spider-Man KICK SOME SUPER-VILLAIN ASS.

I know, I know.  I'm preaching to the choir.  Sigh.  Oh well, moving on to the review.

The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) is, obviously, another remake of the Spider-Man origin story.  This time, he's fighting the Lizard, yep, that cool Doc Connors guy that we all know and love.  Oh, come on, it's not like I gave anything away!  Everyone know Doc Connors is the Lizard by now.  In this particular iteration of Peter Parker's life story, Peter Parker's parents worked for Oscorp (that's right, Norman Osborn, aka the Green Goblin's company), and they disappear one night, leaving him with Uncle Ben and Aunt May.  Some years later, Peter Parker finds his dad's notes and helps Doc Connors develop the serum that turns him into the Lizard.  Also, Peter falls in love with Gwen Stacy instead of Mary Jane Watson.  I...  think... that's all the important changes they made...  OH, and Norman Osborn is supposedly dying in this one, which is why he's doing genetic research at Oscorp in the first place, to save his own life.

Yea, I know, I pretty much gave away the whole movie, but come on.  I left all the important parts out.  Does Spider-Man actually defeat the Lizard?  How does he do it?  Do Gwen Stacy and Spider-Man have sex?  Does she leave egg sacs lying all over the city to birth little Spider-babies, or does she eat Spider-Man once the mating is complete, like a Black Widow spider?  Yea, I bet you didn't even consider that, did you?  Yea, that's why I am a genius.  I think of this shit.  ALL THE TIME.

Okay, now that we have all the insanity out of the way, let me just tell you what I like about the movie, before I get to what I don't like.  Martin Sheen as Uncle Ben!  HOLY SHIT!  Sally Field as Aunt May!  ZOMG!  Denis Leary as Gwen Stacy's dad, the head of police who is trying to arrest Spider-Man!  Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick!  AND!  AND!  C. Thomas Howell as...  some... guy...  on the bridge who... needs his son rescued.  Yea, it was a bit part.  Sort of a cameo, really.  Still, there you go.  Some major actors, there.  Okay, well, a couple former A-listers and a few steady actors, anyway.  Also, I like that Peter Parker finally has another love interest than Mary Jane Watson.

What I don't like!  Meh, well, let's be clear, I didn't like that they did another remake in the first place.  Also, did NOT like the guy who plays Spider-Man this time.  They made him a skateboarder, kind of a punk look to him, instead of the geeky look you'd expect of a science geek like Peter Parker.  I didn't like how quickly the spider bite affected him.  I mean, it may have been weeks, but it appears like it altered him by the time he was on the way home from being bit.  I didn't like the look of the Lizard this time around.  Ever see an iguana, or a snake, or a gecko, in the middle of winter, or when it was about to shed it's skin?  That's what the Lizard looked like.  A very sickly Lizard.  Also, who the hell thought it was a good idea to make Gwen Stacy a scientist?  Seriously?  Wasn't she like, a model in the last Spider-Man movie?  Also, why make Norman Osborn out to be a good guy?  Look, I know there's not a wholly good person or a wholly evil person out there, but Norman Osborn doesn't even appear in this movie.  And we all know him as the nutty, schizophrenic Green Goblin.  So why make him out to be just some poor schmuck who's trying to save his own life?  Seriously, not EVERYTHING starts out with good intentions.  Plus, ALL the science in this movie is derived from Oscorp.  All of it.  peter's dad worked for Oscorp, Doc Connors works for Oscorp, Peter steals his web-spinners from Oscorp, even the damn radioactive spider worked for Oscorp.  Why make Peter out to be a thief?  Why couldn't he have come up with his own web-shooters?  Why does Oscorp have to be the only place that has any creative people working for it?  Are they trying to say nobody but a biotechnology company with expensive labs can invent anything?  What a load of bollocks.  And finally, honestly, how many times do I have to see Spider-Man going "WHOOOOO!  WHOOOO!!!!!!" while swinging from his web lines?  Yea.  We get it.  Web-swinging is butt-loads of fun, and we would all be doing it if we could.  Well, except me.  I'm scared of heights.

So, there you have it.  I disliked a LOT more about it than I liked, soooo, probably not the best movie.  No wonder it took two years to get to cable TV.  Must have done horribly at the box office.  Can't really recommend this one unless you're a die-hard Emma Stone fan.  Emma plays Gwen Stacy.  I'm not an Emma Stone fan, so she didn't add anything to this movie for me.  I mean, she did an okay job, I guess, and I don't dislike her, but I just haven't seen her in too much before this.  You can catch the Amazing Spider-Man on Starz! if you want to check it out for yourself.  They're having a free preview this weekend, or something.

That's all for tonight!  Might have a double review tomorrow night if I can squeeze in watching Iron Man 3 and Thor: The Dark World (both of which are on Starz! tomorrow afternoon).  I haven't seen either of them yet, so don't spoil them for me.  :-D  They probably both suck.  Meh, I guess I'll let you guys know as soon as I find out.  Until then, as always, have as much fun as possible!  Unless your idea of fun involves goats.  Then, just stop.  Stop it.  Leave the poor goats alone.

Surprise Review Saturday - Kick-Ass 2 (2013), Sharktopus vs Pteracuda (2014)

God DAMN it, I wish there was a way to turn off Control-A.  I can't tell you how many times I have been in the middle of typing something, try to type a capital letter, and BAM I've selected everything in the entire file, and deleted all my work.

And, yes, that just happened.  Sigh.  Okay, starting my post over, skipping all the funny parts, and getting to the damned reviews because I'm a little miffed.  Stupid technology.  Not always a good thing.  And yes, I know, if my fat fingers didn't frak it up I'd still have the post, but I'm not taking the blame for this one!  Who the hell selects their entire post and just types over it in mid-sentence?  Shouldn't it ask you if you want to really do that, or something?  Save me from my own impotence!  Or, incompetence.  Something like that.

Surprise review of Kick-Ass 2 (2013)!  Why did I decide to review it?  Because it was on HBO tonight, and I just think Chloe Grace Moretz is cute.  Yea, I had a whole post where I perved on her and didn't actually perv on her, because she's 17 and I have to wait a year before it's entirely legal, and it was hilariously funny and you don't get to see it because Control-A TOOK IT ALL AWAY.  Yes, I'm bitter.  I just got my ass kicked by a keyboard.  And it didn't even do it on purpose.  It was an accidental ass-kicking by an inanimate object.  Fuck.  There goes my shot at ever being a superhero, I can't even lay the beat-down on a goddamn keyboard, nooo, it kicks MY ass without even trying.  Goddamn ninja-keyboard-fu bullshit.  BULLSHIT.  I want a rematch!  Now watch, I control-A my shit and it happens again.  It wouldn't surprise me.  Screw it, I know when I'm licked.  I've got to be the first person in the world with keyboardophobia.  Sigh.  Moving on to the review.

Kick-Ass 2 pretty much picks up where Kick-Ass 1 left off.  Mindy Macready (aka Hit-Girl) is now trying to make her way delicately through high-school without killing anyone after her father died horribly in the first movie.  She's a ward of the police officer who was her dad's friend, and she and Kick-Ass are now attending the same high school.  Kick-Ass has given up his crime-fighting outfit, but after learning he's inspired a bunch of regular joes to don uniforms and prowl the streets looking for villains, he decides to take up crime-fighting once more.  Unfortunately, Hit-Girl has now chosen to give up her crime-fighting as well.  Unfortunately for both of them, Red Mist, now called Motherfucker (really?  That's the best you could come up with?  really?), has sworn vengeance against Kick-Ass for blowing his dad up with a bazooka.  I can see how that would piss a guy off.  Red Mist and Kick-Ass are due for a hot date, dontcha think?  Yea.  Yea, they are.

Speaking of hot date, while I was looking up Chloe Grace Moretz' age, I saw she's apparently dating a 15-year-old male model named Beckham something or other.  I'm not cool enough to know why that name sounds familiar, but really?  Damn!  At 15, I was busy getting picked on in high school because I was too geeky, and some guy, at 15, is dating Chloe Grace Moretz?  Sheesh.  Come to think of it, I was getting picked on in high school because I was too geeky at 17, too.  And 18.  And then, I moved on to college, where... I got picked on because I was too geeky.  But it was a more sophisticated, college-level picking-on.

So, to sum up Kick-Ass 2, there were some beat-downs, or beat-ups, because I have no idea what the difference is.  I'm not giving anything away when I say, Kick-Ass is shot several times in the chest and back.  By Hit-Girl, actually.  I guess that's her idea of foreplay.  Kinky.  Speaking of kinky, Hit-Girl has a brawl with a big russian chick (at least, it was supposed to be a chick, it was a little hard to tell), that just, for some reason, was kind of hot.  I guess I just like seeing Chloe Grace Moretz get her ass handed to her.  Hmmm.  I may be a bit off.  Meh, who isn't?  Moving on.

Kick-Ass, nor Kick-Ass 2, were really my thing.  Not technically a superhero movie, because no one has any real super-powers, and not really an action movie, because...  well...  there's not enough explosions, I think...  And there's no nudity and no monsters.  At most there's a little bit of shooting and some violence, even a little gore.  So not really one of my kind of movies, but where else can you see a high-school-level bitch get hit with a Sick-Stick?  NO WHERE.  Just in Kick-Ass 2, and that's it.  If that's not reason enough to watch it, there's always Chloe Grace Moretz.  Maybe I was just perving on her, but Ms. Moretz seems to have some serious on-screen presence, pretty much grabbing my attention in every scene she was in, which is unusual for a teenaged actress, if you ask me.  I don't know whether that's acting talent, or she's just cute, or I'm just horny, or what.  (shrugs)  Did I mention I don't get out much?

Sharktopus vs Pteracuda (2014) was pretty much what you'd expect.  Another crappy syfy movie.  So, Sharktopus gets caught and tamed by some dolphin trainer, and a couple of semi-evil villains decide to get rich quick with a Pteracuda, marking it as only the second movie I have ever seen in which Barracuda (or at least, the DNA from one) play the role of the monstrous villain.  The other, of course, was Barracuda from the 1970's, another Jaws ripoff.  I reviewed that movie sometime last year, I think it was.  So, the Pteracuda gets computer-hacked by some guy, and goes nuts, and the evil duo shark-nap the Sharktopus to get rid of the Pteracuda so they can get on with their evil scheme, and then both monsters go nuts and start killing off beach-goers.  For some reason, one of the villains decides that's a little too crazy or too villainous, and tries to stop them.  So, the completely unknown actor who plays the lead, is not only the villain in this movie, but the hero as well!  Now, that's some crazy shit right there.  The OTHER villain was the only recognizable actor in this movie, and he's not recognizable enough for me to remember his name.  Poor guy.  One of the Carradine brothers, I think?  Hmmm.  Well, two giant, computer-generated monsters duke it out, anyways, which is really the only draw, here.

Kick-Ass 2 was certainly a better quality movie than Sharktopus vs Pteracuda, although I give points for coming up with a pterodactyl combined with a barracuda.  That's a pretty unique spin.  Sharktopus, I mean, that's kind of an obvious hybrid beastie there, but who the hell would think to combine a barracuda with a pterodactyl?  That's GENIUS!  Okay, maybe I exaggerate a smidgen.  But, Kick-Ass 2 was enjoyable for Chloe Grace Moretz, and come on, a Pteracuda!  Where else are you going to see that?  A goddamn flying, swimming, barracuda!  Well, barracuda normally swim, I mean, they're fish.  But this one flew, too.  It had wings.  I guess they might have been fins at some point, but that's neither here nor there.  It flew.  And it had pretty colors on it's back!  So, there's that.

That's all for this week.  I wasn't even planning to be here tonight, which would have made my review of Sharktopus vs Pteracuda a bit difficult, but a nice t-storm rolled in and ruined my social plans!  Even the weather conspires against me having a life!  Well, at least it doesn't pick on me because I am too geeky.  So, there's that.  See you guys next week, assuming I can actually find something decent to review.  :-)