It's not every day I get to watch a film I haven't seen before, followed immediately by it's sequel, which I haven't seen either. It would be almost like watching Alien, followed by Aliens, except for two things. One, Sigourney Weaver isn't in Bad-Ass. Also, there are no aliens in Bad-Ass. Normally, that would be enough to de-classify it as a movie I would be willing to watch. However, Danny Trejo was in Predators, and in the sequel, Bad-Asses, Danny Glover appears. You sci-fi fans will remember Danny Glover was the hero in Predator 2. Honestly, since that was pretty much the last movie I saw him in (either that or Lethal Weapon 4), I'm surprised how much he's aged. Danny Glover looks OLD. However, he can still act pretty damn good, and frankly, that's all that matters when you're talking about a movie. Well, unless there's boobs, in which case, more than the acting matters.
Bad-Ass (2012) was apparently based on the true story (don't quote me on that, that's just what I heard) of a Vietnam Vet who was accosted on a bus by a couple hooligans, and kicked their asses, basically making him a real-life version of Kick-Ass, which I reviewed a few weeks ago (well, technically it was Kick-Ass 2). I'm guessing that's why the titles of the two movies are similar. Maybe Kick-Ass got inspiration from Bad-Ass, or vice versa. Either way, it illustrates the first rule of being a bully, and that is: There's always someone out there meaner, stronger or tougher than you are, so be careful who you pick on. Those of you with some brains may think, wouldn't remembering that rule pretty much prevent you from being a bully? Why yes, yes it would! That's why it's the first rule. I hate bullies. :-) The Bad-Ass movie follows Danny Trejo playing the role of Bad-Ass, starting with the bus incident and continuing on through the first movie, a second movie, and as I understand it, they are in the process of making a third movie. Apparently, Bad-Ass hates bullies too, because he beats the bejeesus out of everyone who picks on him, or his friends, or random-passers-by. In the first movie, Frank Vega (aka Bad-Ass) loses his best friend in a shooting incident, and the police do nothing to help solve the crime. Angry and looking for justice, Frank starts digging into the shooting, and uncovers a connection between thugs and corrupt politicians. Needless to say, both the thugs and the corrupt politicians don't want Frank digging into their business, so they send some bad-asses to do some digging of their own. Grave-digging. Heh, heh, heh. Okay, that was a bit lame. Bad-Ass 2: Bad-Asses (2014) adds Danny Glover to the mix, as a shopkeeper who gets mixed up in a fight between Frank and some drug dealers. And yes, I realize that's a damn short synopsis of the second movie, but I don't want to give too much away, because both movies are decent.
Okay, let's sum up why you'd want to watch these movies. Danny Trejo, not being over-the-top bad-ass like in Machete, but actually acting like a Vietnam Vet who doesn't take shit from anyone. Danny Glover, an accomplished actor who always brings stage presence to the screen. Hot Babes hitting on old guys. Oh, and beards. Danny Trejo rocks a beard that's even more awesome than my own, and that's hard for a bearded man to admit. Sure, there's no aliens or monsters in Bad-Ass or the sequel, and that's not always a bad thing. Sometimes you just want to watch a good, old-fashioned story about a couple of old guys walking around town (or in this case, taking the bus) and kicking some ass, and if that's what you want, then this is the movie series for you.
Couple of things I'd like to mention. One, I loved the side-bit in the second movie, where Danny Glover picks up a college co-ed who has a thing for older men. I thought it was pretty funny, and if I had a dime for every time a babe found my greying beard attractive, well, I'd have a couple dimes to rub together. Maybe even three or four! What can I say, I'm a silver-haired warthog! Or, maybe that's a silver fox. I can't really agree with anyone thinking of me as a silver fox. First one is probably more accurate.
Also, on the minus side, what is up with Danny Trejo's movies and losing an eye? In Machete, Michelle Rodriguez plays some rebel babe who not only gets shot in one eye in the first movie, but shot in the other eye in the second. Interestingly, she gets no brain damage from, you know, that whole HIGH VELOCITY BULLET ENTERING YOUR SKULL THROUGH YOUR EYE SOCKET thing. Nope, she just loses the eye in question. She referred to it as "having her eye shot out." Except bullets don't just stop at the eye socket when they are fired directly into your face. They go into your brain and mess shit up. To the point where you spend a lot of time in the hospital, comatose and shitting yourself because your brain doesn't work right anymore. And that's only if you live through the experience. And yet in the second Machete movie, Michelle loses a second eye, and keeps on fighting! Also, in the second Bad-Ass movie, and I hope I'm not giving too much away, someone gets stabbed in the eye by a long pointy object. And... they show up a few hours later with an eye patch, and everything seems to be working fine. Maybe someone, maybe Danny Trejo, should pass along the message that, HEY! That's not really realistic. Because... a guy running around killing people with a Machete... in space... is... realistic. Shut up. I'm just trying to make a point here.
Bad-Ass and it's sequel are available on Netlfix. I like them because Danny Trejo actually does some acting, rocks an awesome beard, and brings in Danny Glover as supporting cast, in addition to the awesome selection of villains. Worth at least a watch, and the special effects are minimal.
In other news, there is no other news. Having a crappier than average summer here in WNY. If it's warm where you are, I hope you are enjoying it. Catch you guys next week!
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