Monday, October 21, 2013

Horror movie review #21 - The Possession (2012)

Wooohooo!  Found me a good'un!  Yea, that's pretty much how I feel when I come across a good horror movie that I haven't seen before.  Some days you just search and search and you can't find shiat, and then, you stumble across something shiny!

The Possession (2012) is shiny.  Like, The Shining, shiny.  So I'm looking through my movie list on netflix.  And I just can't find anything that isn't reviewed as "the worst shit movie ever made."  And I get to this little movie called "The Possession" and I'm like, oh, geez, another demonic possession movie?  I've seen like 3 of these already this month!  But it's got Kyra Sedgewick in it, and I figure, what the shit, it's either this or Ghostbusters.  And I know Kyra from her "The Closer" days.  Well, you know, I don't know her, but I last saw her there, and those were pretty good, so I figure, what the hell have I got to lose?  An hour and a half of my life.  What would I be doing instead?  Watching crappy horror movies?  Playing computer games?  Sure, I can stand to lose a couple hours there.  Let's go, biatch!  THRILL ME, as Detective Cameron (from Night of the Creeps) would say.  Speaking of Tom Atkins, he's a fellow horror movie fan and his favorites are "The Thing from Another World" (1954) and "Night of the Creeps" (1986) which Tom Atkins actually starred in.  Way to go, Tom!  Those are two of my favorites, too!  When is the sequel to Night of the Creep coming out?  I want to see one so bad.  Maybe we could get Jill Whitlow back into acting, eh?  She was ssssssmokin!

The Possession starts off with a suitably creepy scene to get you in the mood.  Then things go all slow on you.  Don't be fooled.  This shit will turn you white.  Even if you already are white.  So basically we've got a box.  And this recently divorced guy takes his two daughters to a garage sale, where one of his daughters picks up this box.  And this guy is all like sure, what the hell, buy the box!  And so he buys the box.  And his youngest daughter takes it home.  And then...  she opens the box.  Yea.  I know.  She's never seen a horror movie, I guess.  No, really.  I did try to warn her.  I said it, I said "no, don't do it, don't open the box."  Then I said it louder, I said "No!  Don't OPEN THE BOX!"  But they never listen.  They always open the box.  No one ever listens to me.  She opened the box.

I think, if you've ever seen a horror movie, you know that was a bad idea.

Okay, the acting and production values on this movie were exceptional.  Two big name actors anchor the film.  The dad is played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who I barely recognized when he came on screen as "one of those guys you've seen in something before but have no idea what."  He was a solid choice, and completely resembles his character, who is basically a divorced basketball coach going through a rough patch after his recent divorce.  He's having trouble with the divorce, he's still in love with his ex-wife, and he's having trouble explaining the whole sorry mess to his daughters.  Kyra Sedgewick plays the mom.  She blames the ex husband for everything.  She's still very bitter about the whole divorce thing, though I get the impression she initiated it.  Everything that goes wrong, she blames on the divorce, and as things begin to escalate, she blames her ex.  The two daughters are unknown actresses to me, but have been in lots of things I have never seen.  lol  Everyone did their jobs well.  There was tension, there was suspense, there was fear, there was horror.  Holy fuck, I think I shat myself about halfway through the movie and I didn't want to move to clean out my drawers til the end.

Interesting twist on the whole possession angle, is the introduction of a Dibbuk Box, which was actually, i guess, the european title of this film.  A Dibbuk Box is apparently a box containing a spirit.  What kind of spirit, you ask?  Well.  I don't think anyone would bother trying to contain a helpful, friendly spirit, do you?  Yea.  Which means this was a bad one.  Dibbuk boxes are also, apparently, jewish in origin, which brings in the need for a Rabbi to perform, essentially, a jewish exorcism.

I don't really get the whole exorcism concept, I mean, there's this spirit, demon, satan, whatever, hanging out in this body, and what's it doing?  Eating, swearing, staying up late at night.  How could you tell the difference between that and your average teenager?  Meh.  Just let it chillax until it gets bored and leaves.  What's the worst that can happen?  A few things fly around, a bed levitates?  Ooh.  Try The Killer Klowns From Outer Space.  Those fuckers put you in a cotton candy balloon and suck your blood out through a twisty straw.  Now that's something you're going to want to exorcise.  Although, I don't know what religion you'd use to exorcise Alien Clowns.  Maybe we could get Stephen King to perform a horror-exorcism.  Hmmmm.  Horrcism?  Ex-hor-cism?  Exhorrorcism?  Yea, that sounds good.  Although I don't know what he'd use to cast them out.  An autographed copy of "It," maybe?  Hardcover, of course.  These exhorrorcisms can get rough.  You don't want to use a paperback for that kind of thing.  Nuh uh.

No nudity in The Possession, which is probably good because Kyra Sedgewick is getting on, and the daughters are underage, and nobody wants to see an overweight basketball coach dad get naked.  Although there was this scene where Kyra is prowling through the house in a tight sweater and I thought HEY SHE'S GOT A DECENT RACK ON HER!  Yea, you guys probably know I'm a bit of a perv already so that's not a real surprise.  Lots of action, violence and suspense.  Even some blood.  Great special effects as far as the possessions go, and the, whatever, attacks, I guess you'd call them.  I was impressed, and I've seen a lot of horror flicks, so that's saying something.  I'm not sure what it's saying, but something.  Probably something good.

That's all for tonight!  Back to watching old horror movies everyone's seen to death, like Halloween and Halloween 2 on AMC.  In related news, I'm all better!  Which leaves plenty of room for the next virus to come stay in what I like to nickname my body, The Virus Hotel.  Damn, that'd make a good book title.  Or a band name.  Hmmm.  Til tomorrow night then!

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