After finding something as good as The Possession last evening, I was sure I'd never strike horror gold two nights in a row, so I didn't even try. Instead, I looked for something bad. Not all zombie movies are serious affairs. Not all horror movies are about the blood and gore. Not all monsters are after death and mayhem.
Some are just after tits and ass.
Zombie Lake (1981), or "Le lac des morts vivants" in the original french, marks the second french horror film I have reviewed this month. I had no idea the french were so into horror movies. I guess they can't be all bad, then. Drinking wine all day and watching horror movies all night sounds like quite the life. Zombie lake is definitely not a grade-A horror film. Not even B. In fact, if I was a teacher, I wouldn't even bother grading it, I'd just give it a well-deserved spanking, it's so far down the scale. Apparently some french resistance members tracked down some Nazis during World war 2, and threw their dead bodies into this lake in france. Now, years later, the nazis have awoken!
Yea, I'm reviewing this one while I write it for two reasons. One, I'm working around watching Marvel's Agents of SHIELD at 8, and this damn movie is so funny I've cracked up laughing twice already and it's only 10 minutes in. First off, this hot young french girl is out hiking in white shorts and a button up shirt, and a string of pearls, and full makeup. Who hikes in pearls and full makeup? She decides to take a dip in the lake, and takes down a sign that clearly says no swimming with a skull and crossbones next to it. Okay, two questions arise immediately. Who puts UP a sign that says if you swim here, it means DEATH, and two, who is dumb enough to take that sign DOWN and go swimming anyway? lol Young french chicks, apparently. So the next day, they find the girls' castoff clothing to report her missing, and the guy pulls out a button up shirt and BLUE shorts. Um. Either the dye elves went and dyed the shorts blue overnight or more than one girl went missing. lol
lol Awesome, Marvel's agents of Shield just referenced Minecraft. Got to love it when the general populace catches up on what I've been playing for the last 5 years or so. lol
Okay, movie's over, let's review this puppy. Started out great, lots of nudity, hot ladies, started to fall apart about halfway through when they realized they needed some sort of story to go along with showing lots of naked chicks. All of a sudden the nudity dropped to almost nothing, and the story of the green-painted nazi zombies took on a lot of romantic and heart warming drama. I don't know about you guys, but I like my naked zombie chick movies to be less about the heart warming drama and more about the T&A. I guess I was disappointed the movie didn't turn out as well as it had begun, but then, when you show full frontal female (and rear, and top, and bottom, and side) nudity within the first 5 minutes of a movie, you have nowhere to go but down, I suppose. (shrug) Let's say, watch it once for the nudie bits and goofy looking zombies and forget it.
And now, back to minecraft! I've got a new skin! First new skin in 2 years! In honor of halloween, of course. It's a pumpkin-headed fellow in a slick looking black suit. :-) I downloaded a crapload of them, so after halloween I'll use them all until I find one I like and stick with THAT for a couple years. lol Til tomorrow night, then.
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