Saturday, October 12, 2013

Horror move review #12 - Exorcism: The Possession of Gail Bowers (2006)

You'd think with it being, you know, horror-month and all, there'd be more horror flicks on TV.  Aside from SyFy's 31 days of Halloween, I haven't really seen much.  There was like 12 hours of horror on Turner Classic Movies last night, but it was overnight.  Who the hell stays up all night just to watch horror movies?  I love the things and I'm not THAT fanatic about it.  Plus, I'm sick, I need my sleep.  lol

So tonight's movie is Exorcism: The Possession of Gail Bowers (2006).  A little background before I get into the summary.  Apparently this flick was made by Asylum, um, productions?  Theaters?  I don't know.  Apparently they have a bad rap in the horror movie market for making, shall we say, less than stellar horror movies.  To be fair, I can't really say how many Asylum movies I have actually watched, othe than, The Beast of Bray Road (which I reviewed two nights ago) was definitely one of their works.  I can safely say this, not because I checked to see who made the Beast of Bray Road, but because almost the entire cast of that movie is back in this one.  lol  We've got Noel Thurman, the outgoing sheriff, playing the very religious sister of gail bowers.  We've got uh, whatsisface, who played the incumbent sheriff, playing a clinical doctor that they take gail to.  And we've got the guy who played the cryptozoologist in Beast of Bray road back as a badass exorcist who goes toe-to-toe with Gail Bowers!  I must admit a certain amount of discombobulation as I am watching all these characters showing up in completely different roles, but the actors didn't seem to have any issues with it.

So here's the story.  Gail Bowers just lost her mom and dad.  How is never really explained, but it's been about 6 weeks.  They were very religious folk, but Gail isn't.  Gail's sister and her husband take her in and they move to a new home somewhere.  Gail takes the garage for her room, and there's already something wrong with the house, but things don't get really creepy until a neighbor brings over a Ouija board and convinces Gail to try and contact her dead parents.  And then, well, you know it before I'm going to say it.  All hell breaks loose!  Hah!  Yea, you knew I was going there.

So, this was a short movie.  They didn't waste any time on suspense.  Also, the neighbor who brought the Ouija board over basically rips out her own eyes and no one or nothing mentions her again, not Gail's sister and brother in law, who would have been understandably upset over the death of a neighbor, but nope!  She's just gone and no one cares.  Honestly, I didn't, her breasts were a bit saggy, but, well, I'm shallow and a bit of a dick.  Plus she wasn't the best of neighbors to start with.  Anyways, it's the psychiatrist who suggests the priest, it's the demon who suggests the exorcist by name, so I guess that really moves things along.  lol  I think the lack of suspense and the obviously cheap budget sort of hurt this movie.  There's not a lot of special effects, just your basic hovering possessed girl and an average amount of blood and gore.

Still, it moves quickly and it's a fun watch.  The actors are at least trying, if not overly skilled.  Still, they get paid for what they do, and I do not, so who am I to judge their performances?  Can't say as I'd watch it again, as this movie is pretty much just a ripoff of the Exorcist and all, but hey, the chicks are decent, there's a couple boobies, and they bought an actual pretty dagger that gets tossed back and forth.  How bad could it be?  :-D

In other news, I'm feeling a tiny smidgen better this evening.  Still achy and feeling a bit under the weather, but I think I'm on the mend.  Managed to mow my front lawn today in the nearly-80-degree heat in the middle of October, which is odd, but hey, i managed it.  The farmer's almanac and all the forecasters say this is going to be a cold, wet winter, but you know what?  I remember a summer way back when that was pretty so-so (like this past summer), and then we got a rather dry and warmly decent winter in this region.  We were amazed in november and December of that winter when temps were generally in the 50's and 60's, and it was one of the first green christmases that we'd had in a while.  And then you know what happened after that?  A very hot and dry summer, where temps hit the mid-90's for two months straight and so little rain fell that the trees were showing signs of dehydration and the leaves were dropping off in mid-august, when the rains finally started up again.  So while the farmer's almanac and all the forecasters are saying a cold and wet winter, I'm going to change MY prediction.  I think we're going to have another one of those mild winters, followed by a scorching summer.  Frankly, the odds are a little in my favor, since this past summer here in western NY was NOT, by any means, scorching, warm, or dry.  So if that heralds another half dozen years of hot and dry weather, then maybe this global warming thing has some merit.  lol

They way I figure it, what have I got to lose?  I'm not a meteorologist.  If I'm wrong, who cares?  The forecasters were right for a change, and maybe their street cred goes up a little.  If I'm right, then I've managed to forecast the weather correctly AGAIN, despite all the experts saying it was something else.  A man could make a living just off of forecasting the exact opposite of what the experts say.  Now watch, when I'm right, I'll be all like "I KNEW IT!"  lol

Catch you guys tomorrow night for another review!

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