Way back in the day, before the beginning of recorded history, hell, even before I was born, people celebrated the winter solstice with an exchange of gifts, setting lit candles on fir trees, and probably a feast or two. Basically, what they were celebrating was that the night, which had been getting longer and longer for months previous to this time of year (at least in the northern hemisphere), was now getting shorter. It was celebrated as a victory of light over the darkness, a signal that the end of the longest, coldest nights was just around the corner, and that soon, spring would come. It basically marked the end of the old year, and the beginning of the new one.
Back then, it was called the Yule season, the festival of Yule, or Yuletide. Come to think of it, they probably had some other word for it back then, like fahrvergnugen or something. The most remembered practitioners of the Yule celebrations were the celtics and druids or northwestern europe, and when those peoples were conquered by the romans (who had a history of conquering people and taking their mythologies as trophies), the yule celebrations were adapted into the roman belief systems, which was actually a refitted version of the greek religious system. Yea, like I said, the romans were a very successful band of culture thieves. But since the romans already had the greek gods, what to do with the various and sundry lesser gods of the conquered celtic peoples?
Well, religion was a very serious business back in the old days. If you beat a man down, took his sword and told him he couldn't worship his old gods anymore, well, he'd just get right back up with a rock in his hand and keep fighting. But if you said "Hey, look, we aren't that bad, we worship the same gods you do!" Well, then there are some hard feelings, but you just can't argue with the gods, now can you? I mean seriously, can you? They never talk back, just sit up their on their mountain or whatever and glare at you. Erm. Anyway, integrating the belief system of a conquered people into your own is the only way to keep them subservient, so you don't have to continuously hold a knife at their throat just to get them to do what you want.
So the romans started having something called the Feast of Saturnalia. Saturn was supposedly the god of... well, I don't remember, but his feast was marked with putting candles on trees and exchanging gifts, and in most appearances he was a large heavily bearded man with a wise look to his face. HEY! Isn't that handy? Yep, it sure was. So, some of you may remember the romans, they got around back in the old days, conquered half the known world, and in the process, spread their beliefs far and wide. Including, of course, the feast of Saturnalia.
So when the Christians came to power, well, they didn't forget the lessons the romans taught them, nossirree bob, or whatever your name is. They just went and integrated those beliefs into their own system, and had jesus born on the winter solstice holidays. By a virgin. Yea well, it seems kind of far fetched now, but hey, getting born of a virgin on christmas, erm, yule, was super-popular back then, and no less than 4 other major gods from other cultures had been born of virgins during Yule. I mean, let's be fair, if you WEREN'T born of a virgin during Yule, nobody took you seriously back then. It was like you were Rodney Dangerfield or something.
So the christians continued to let people light up fir trees, exchange gifts, and have huge feasts around that time of year because... well, they didn't really have a good reason, because let's face it, there just weren't any fir trees in jerusalem back in those days. Or nowadays either. The climate's a bit too warm ya see. And Joseph and Mary, well, if they couldn't afford a room at an Inn, they sure as hell couldn't afford a feast! So yea, the most cherished article of OUR Christmas celebration, the decorated tree, the exchange of gifts, and the feasting, really doesn't have a damn thing to do with christianity. But hey, a belief system is a belief system! I'm not trying to tell you what gods you can worship, and what ones you can't! Hey... put down that rock...
To me, Christmas, Xmas, Yule, and frankly I just refer to it as Xmas because I haven't really believed in jesus since I was 14, just means the time of year that I get presents. Yep, that's the best part of it. Oh, people will say they like to give this time of year, and honestly, there is that moment of joy when you see the effect the 14 inch dildo you get for your girl has on her, and you feel satisfied. Not as satisfied as she does, of course, but hey! It's really about the gifts you get, isn't it?
Me, I like computer games. Decorating the tree is fun, putting up the sparkly flashy lights is pretty, and eating the christmas feast with the family is very filling, but there's nothing like getting new games to play on xmas morning, knowing you will have a buttload of fun playing them in the weeks and possibly months to come. Because let's face it, the feast of Saturnalia only lasts a week or so, and then we have a good 5 or 6 months left of winter before spring and summer come, and the ancient celts knew that. They knew they'd be locked into their homes for months on end, waiting out the cold snowy winter, and they needed some prime party and relaxation time to make it through. It doesn't matter, really, WHAT you get on Xmas day, basically what you're LOOKING for is an excuse to become distracted for an extended period of time until summer comes around again, and you can go outside.
So, basically, we've come full circle. Yule started out as an excuse to get new stuff, party, and eat til you couldn't fit into your breeches, and dammit, that's what it's become again. Yay! Welcome home, Yule! We missed you! Merry Xmas, Happy Holidays, Merry Yule, and Season's Greetings to everyone!
Assuming, of course, anyone still reads this blog. Seriously. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?
Friday, December 24, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Sheer Insanity
In my continuing "people are insane" motif, I just wanted to mention my nephew. I have 4 of them, so let me clarify, only one is insane. The other 3, well, 2 are "eccentric" and one is "alcoholic" i believe is the scientific term.
So let's talk about the insane one! :-D
Like I mentioned in my last post, my nephew drove up from florida to take me to work monday when my vehicle was having issues. And yes, I mean, he's family, and he feeds me, so I love him and all, but... The guy's a certifiable loon. And it's not so's you'd notice, either. He's a functional loon. It only sneaks out at certain times, but I'm a genius with a sharp eye, so I catch these things.
Let's go back about 30 years or so, to give you some background. When we were kids, he lived near me, so we played together frequently. And invariably, he'd always take the toys i was playing with literally out of my hands and start playing with them. I know, this sounds petty coming from an adult, but bear with me, it's just to illustrate what I am talking about. So I'd get upset, but he'd only do it when no adults were looking, so by the time we were arguing over who was playing with it first, an adult would come over, and because I was three years older, I was invariably the one who was told to "share." And then of course, the minute the adult's back was turned, the little brat would proceed to gloat over his victory, hit me, slap me, and otherwise annoy the shit out of me while the adult's back was turned. And then, since I was literally without recourse to stop the teasing, stealing, and abuse (adults never listen!), I would get mad and attempt to beat the snot out of the little brat. Unfortunately, it was usually at the point that he attracted the adult's attention, and hearing my roars of anger, the adult intervened and the little devil got out of what he so richly deserved. So, of course, he kept doing it.
Now, so you don't think I am the odd one, my one sister was wise to this (I have 3), and on occasion, perhaps two or three times in the little brat's life, she let me get my vengeance by turning a blind eye to us and letting me sort it out myself, usually by beating the snot out of him. Of course, since my other sister was the little brat's mother, my perceptive sister got in trouble for it on occasion, and the brat's mother never got wise to her son's ways. Eh, it happens. Flash forward 30 years, when you'd think we'd have grown up by now...
I've only heard him mention this on a few occasions, but each time the one wise sister and myself were aghast at this, but... my nephew claims I was the bully when we were kids. Yep, apparently I was the one who teased and abused him, and used the adults as a shield to prevent HIM from beating ME up. Hmmmm. Maybe i hit him so hard he got brain damaged? Yea, so apparently, my nephew has stolen my childhood and has been not only claiming it as his own, but telling various peoples that I am a bully as a result of the "abuse" he suffered at my hands.
The latest incident involving this occurred last evening, whilst we were playing cards. He's got a wife now, my nephew (he's had 3). So we're playing cards, Phase 10, by the way, and he's winning, so I skipped him a few times with a skip card (you get to decide who to skip). He gets all upset because he's a ridiculously sore loser, despite the fact that he's winning, and tells his wife I used to do this stuff all the time to him when we were kids, and that's why HE hates bullies. Yea. HIM. I was like :-o Never mind the fact that I've actually seen him grab his wife's face and basically rub her nose in something she did wrong. Like she was a goddamned dog or something. Wtf? So I start to argue with him, and he starts treating me like I am one of his ex-employees, telling me I need to learn that there are consequences for my actions, or some shit. I'm like... :-o
And don't even feel bad for him because he's been a supervisor for the last 10 years and recently lost his job. Him and his wife have so much money they just bought a boat. AFTER he lost his job. Yea.
How does someone get so out of touch with reality that they not only think they are me, but they use my own excuse for hating bullies to BULLY everyone else? And not recognize that they have become what they say they hate? Or maybe he's just such an exceptionally fine bullshitter that he believes his own bullshit? He is a salesman. If he gets any better at lying and losing touch with reality he'll have a great future as a politician. Maybe I should suggest that to him?
Is that how life works? Basically, my nephew is a bully, and he becomes a supervisor. That's the third person I've recognized as a bully becoming a supervisor. So basically, the same kids who used to beat you up and steal your lunch money on the playground get to boss your ass around once you grow up? And this is encouraged?
Knowing how bullies work, I guess there isn't much else that they can do, come to think of it. They are too afraid of whatever things made them become a bully in the first place to face those fears and grow from it. Most of them aren't terribly bright. So we give them jobs as our overlords to supervise us? They eventually become heads of companies, politicians, lawmakers? How does this make any sense? Is all government actually government by bully, because the rest of us are too scared to beat the snot out of the bullying brat?
I don't really see the point in that. I must be too sane. Dammit, I hate when that happens.
So let's talk about the insane one! :-D
Like I mentioned in my last post, my nephew drove up from florida to take me to work monday when my vehicle was having issues. And yes, I mean, he's family, and he feeds me, so I love him and all, but... The guy's a certifiable loon. And it's not so's you'd notice, either. He's a functional loon. It only sneaks out at certain times, but I'm a genius with a sharp eye, so I catch these things.
Let's go back about 30 years or so, to give you some background. When we were kids, he lived near me, so we played together frequently. And invariably, he'd always take the toys i was playing with literally out of my hands and start playing with them. I know, this sounds petty coming from an adult, but bear with me, it's just to illustrate what I am talking about. So I'd get upset, but he'd only do it when no adults were looking, so by the time we were arguing over who was playing with it first, an adult would come over, and because I was three years older, I was invariably the one who was told to "share." And then of course, the minute the adult's back was turned, the little brat would proceed to gloat over his victory, hit me, slap me, and otherwise annoy the shit out of me while the adult's back was turned. And then, since I was literally without recourse to stop the teasing, stealing, and abuse (adults never listen!), I would get mad and attempt to beat the snot out of the little brat. Unfortunately, it was usually at the point that he attracted the adult's attention, and hearing my roars of anger, the adult intervened and the little devil got out of what he so richly deserved. So, of course, he kept doing it.
Now, so you don't think I am the odd one, my one sister was wise to this (I have 3), and on occasion, perhaps two or three times in the little brat's life, she let me get my vengeance by turning a blind eye to us and letting me sort it out myself, usually by beating the snot out of him. Of course, since my other sister was the little brat's mother, my perceptive sister got in trouble for it on occasion, and the brat's mother never got wise to her son's ways. Eh, it happens. Flash forward 30 years, when you'd think we'd have grown up by now...
I've only heard him mention this on a few occasions, but each time the one wise sister and myself were aghast at this, but... my nephew claims I was the bully when we were kids. Yep, apparently I was the one who teased and abused him, and used the adults as a shield to prevent HIM from beating ME up. Hmmmm. Maybe i hit him so hard he got brain damaged? Yea, so apparently, my nephew has stolen my childhood and has been not only claiming it as his own, but telling various peoples that I am a bully as a result of the "abuse" he suffered at my hands.
The latest incident involving this occurred last evening, whilst we were playing cards. He's got a wife now, my nephew (he's had 3). So we're playing cards, Phase 10, by the way, and he's winning, so I skipped him a few times with a skip card (you get to decide who to skip). He gets all upset because he's a ridiculously sore loser, despite the fact that he's winning, and tells his wife I used to do this stuff all the time to him when we were kids, and that's why HE hates bullies. Yea. HIM. I was like :-o Never mind the fact that I've actually seen him grab his wife's face and basically rub her nose in something she did wrong. Like she was a goddamned dog or something. Wtf? So I start to argue with him, and he starts treating me like I am one of his ex-employees, telling me I need to learn that there are consequences for my actions, or some shit. I'm like... :-o
And don't even feel bad for him because he's been a supervisor for the last 10 years and recently lost his job. Him and his wife have so much money they just bought a boat. AFTER he lost his job. Yea.
How does someone get so out of touch with reality that they not only think they are me, but they use my own excuse for hating bullies to BULLY everyone else? And not recognize that they have become what they say they hate? Or maybe he's just such an exceptionally fine bullshitter that he believes his own bullshit? He is a salesman. If he gets any better at lying and losing touch with reality he'll have a great future as a politician. Maybe I should suggest that to him?
Is that how life works? Basically, my nephew is a bully, and he becomes a supervisor. That's the third person I've recognized as a bully becoming a supervisor. So basically, the same kids who used to beat you up and steal your lunch money on the playground get to boss your ass around once you grow up? And this is encouraged?
Knowing how bullies work, I guess there isn't much else that they can do, come to think of it. They are too afraid of whatever things made them become a bully in the first place to face those fears and grow from it. Most of them aren't terribly bright. So we give them jobs as our overlords to supervise us? They eventually become heads of companies, politicians, lawmakers? How does this make any sense? Is all government actually government by bully, because the rest of us are too scared to beat the snot out of the bullying brat?
I don't really see the point in that. I must be too sane. Dammit, I hate when that happens.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
What a WEEK I'm having!
I know, it's been a while since my last post! I am sure all... two... of you were waiting with breath held, turning blue for want of my words of wisdom. Well, here they are! Sorry for the delay, but wait! Let me explain!
So, I have a wonderful Thanksgiving with my family. I eat. I drink. I get sloshed. I come home, and I write 3000+ words on my novel that I was supposed to have done by November 30th. Which was a damn good start at the time, it put me over 10k words, and if I could have kept up the 1000+ words an hour pace, I'd have made it!
But alas, I came down with the flu the day after Thanksgiving. :-(
So there I am, miserable. I have the flu for days and days. I can't finish my novel. I left work early last week monday. Missed tuesday because of it. I finally get back to work wednesday, I'm feeling better, ready to get back to work on my novel... and oh, it's December 1st. I missed it! Curses! Failed again.
Then what happens when I get home from work the day I start to feel a teeeeensy bit better? We get 3 feet of snow in 24 hours. Oh yea. The official term was a "persistent lake effect snow band," but I know better. It was a test! A test of my willpower and fortitude! I met the blizzard of snowflakes with teeth gritted, ready to go down fighting under 17 billion tons of snow!
So I miss work last thursday because I can't shovel anymore. The snow came down faster than I could shovel. And my back died. Curses! Failed again!
Friday comes. I'm barely able to shovel my way out of my driveway. I'm driving my mom to the bank, because, she HAS to go, and they JUST lifted the driving ban we had in effect in my area like, ten minutes before we left the house. And HEY! I can't STEEER! :-o
Yea, apparently ice or snow or the bumpy ride OVER the ice and snow wrecked something in the engine and I can't steer. It was fine when I left the house, and I ended up in a bank parking lot with my flashers on, blocking one of the entrances to the place. Wheeeee! What a way to spend my day off.
But hey! I'm an adult, or so they tell me. I got this. I call AAA. It'll be 6 or 7 hours before they can tow my car. They had a lot of people stuck in snow, apparently. So I figure, what the hell. I'll miss another day of work, I'll get some extra time for my back to recover, and VOILA! I'll be good to go on Tuesday. Yea, I'm one of those, every-cloud-has-a-silver-lining kinds of guys.
But those of you who know how the universe works are saying... Oh no, Mr Bill. OH NOES. Yep. My nephew, who lives in FLORIDA, drives his ass up here to "help me out" and takes me to work monday morning. And yea, I'm apprecative and all. I get the $60 that I'd have got for the day after taxes. But Florida? Come on! He just wanted to have a snowball fight!
So that's my week, people. Oh, I'm all better now. Back feels good, just finished the shovelling, finally. Car's fixed. Back to work. And, it's December! CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!!! :-D So yea, week from hell, but I survived. And I told my story! So that YOU TOO can survive your weeks of hell. Erm, whenever you have them. maybe you already did. Maybe your week of hell made my week of hell seem like a vacation in the bahamas. Minus, you know, the warm weather. But I was still very worn out from it. So THERE! :-P~~~
If nobody reads my blog before Xmas, Merry Yule and Happy Happy Joy Joy New Year, or something. I'm sure I'll post before then, but for now, I'm enjoying the pre-holiday fun of watching other people rush around for presents. :-)
So, I have a wonderful Thanksgiving with my family. I eat. I drink. I get sloshed. I come home, and I write 3000+ words on my novel that I was supposed to have done by November 30th. Which was a damn good start at the time, it put me over 10k words, and if I could have kept up the 1000+ words an hour pace, I'd have made it!
But alas, I came down with the flu the day after Thanksgiving. :-(
So there I am, miserable. I have the flu for days and days. I can't finish my novel. I left work early last week monday. Missed tuesday because of it. I finally get back to work wednesday, I'm feeling better, ready to get back to work on my novel... and oh, it's December 1st. I missed it! Curses! Failed again.
Then what happens when I get home from work the day I start to feel a teeeeensy bit better? We get 3 feet of snow in 24 hours. Oh yea. The official term was a "persistent lake effect snow band," but I know better. It was a test! A test of my willpower and fortitude! I met the blizzard of snowflakes with teeth gritted, ready to go down fighting under 17 billion tons of snow!
So I miss work last thursday because I can't shovel anymore. The snow came down faster than I could shovel. And my back died. Curses! Failed again!
Friday comes. I'm barely able to shovel my way out of my driveway. I'm driving my mom to the bank, because, she HAS to go, and they JUST lifted the driving ban we had in effect in my area like, ten minutes before we left the house. And HEY! I can't STEEER! :-o
Yea, apparently ice or snow or the bumpy ride OVER the ice and snow wrecked something in the engine and I can't steer. It was fine when I left the house, and I ended up in a bank parking lot with my flashers on, blocking one of the entrances to the place. Wheeeee! What a way to spend my day off.
But hey! I'm an adult, or so they tell me. I got this. I call AAA. It'll be 6 or 7 hours before they can tow my car. They had a lot of people stuck in snow, apparently. So I figure, what the hell. I'll miss another day of work, I'll get some extra time for my back to recover, and VOILA! I'll be good to go on Tuesday. Yea, I'm one of those, every-cloud-has-a-silver-lining kinds of guys.
But those of you who know how the universe works are saying... Oh no, Mr Bill. OH NOES. Yep. My nephew, who lives in FLORIDA, drives his ass up here to "help me out" and takes me to work monday morning. And yea, I'm apprecative and all. I get the $60 that I'd have got for the day after taxes. But Florida? Come on! He just wanted to have a snowball fight!
So that's my week, people. Oh, I'm all better now. Back feels good, just finished the shovelling, finally. Car's fixed. Back to work. And, it's December! CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!!! :-D So yea, week from hell, but I survived. And I told my story! So that YOU TOO can survive your weeks of hell. Erm, whenever you have them. maybe you already did. Maybe your week of hell made my week of hell seem like a vacation in the bahamas. Minus, you know, the warm weather. But I was still very worn out from it. So THERE! :-P~~~
If nobody reads my blog before Xmas, Merry Yule and Happy Happy Joy Joy New Year, or something. I'm sure I'll post before then, but for now, I'm enjoying the pre-holiday fun of watching other people rush around for presents. :-)
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