Back in the Black

No, this is not an ethnic anal porn post, despite the title, which merely implies I have returned to a state of positive net worth.

So after camping for two weeks... with family... which brings its own set of issues... I have returned! I also managed to contract some nearly fatal illness which, due to my incredibly advanced and healthy constitution, merely resulted in having a tummy ache for a week. But I am better now. Or.. I had food poisoning due to eating what my sisters cooked for me. It's a toss-up which one occurred. It's all a blur now. I hope everyone had a nice 4th while I was gone and for the first time in years, no one famous died while I was on vacation, so I am all happy about that.

I tried to catch up on the shows I missed while I was gone. I can't even find any references to Happy Town any more. I have no idea what happened the last two episodes I missed, which, would have been the last of this season, as far as I know, perhaps the last two episodes ever unless the series gets picked up, I would imagine. So that story arc is just completely unfinished in my mind. I can't find any way to watch the episodes via hulu. so I am screwed for now.

True Blood, I did catch up on. So apparently, Sookie got dumped and, if I am not completely mistaken, would hook up with both a random werewolf and eric the bloodless without a moments hesitation. I mean, seriously, she's bawling her eyes out about being dumped by Bill to this random werewolfy guy and she goes "oh, you're warm" and feels his chest. Or, something to that effect. is it just me, or does Sookie seem like a total slut lately? I mean, yea, at first she was all "I'm so sweet and pure and morally superior." and now it's all like "I'd fuck a stray dog if it could turn into a human!" I don't know, I guess it's all well and good to make the character more earthy but i don't know if I am ready for sookie the monster-slut. Vampires, werewolves, shifters, next thing you know she'll be into necrophilia just in case the dead guy could turn into a zombie.

I mean, sure, on the one side, this would open up a whole new world of HBO-porn, but I thought that's what cinemax was for? I mean, where else are you going to see emotionally packed blockbusters like Cleavagefield? Plus, if True Blood becomes a show where everyone just goes around fucking everyone else, then isn't it just a damn soap opera with undead at that point? And more importantly, would I be considered gay just for watching a soap opera? Because I never have, never ever. Well... There was this one way back in the day called swan's crossing or something that starred a young sarah michelle gellar but I swear I only watched it because she was a total bitch and I wanted to bone her, which by default makes me straight. But, errm, i really digressed there.

So sookie's a dumped psycho ex girlfriend slut type person, there's werewolves in the henhouse, and... no. I think that's it. I would dearly love to see more of Henley/chloe/lauren german from Happy town, and by seeing more of her, I mean, having her handcuffed naked to my bed, but the odds of that happening by the time I get home from work are extremely remote. And, as we all know, I will have moved onto the next hot babe by the time the weekend gets here. I am such a fickle bitch.

Luckily, my out of town company should be leaving soon and I'll get done mowing the back 40 acres by this evening, just in time for me to enjoy my weekend of pouring rain. Oh hey, it's not all doom and gloom though, despite the heat, I seem to be sleeping like a dead rock every night. No alcohol involved. No idea how that's working, but hey! Days seem the same and I am feeling good so I am not going to look a gift horse in the mouth! Mostly because it'd probably bite my damn nose off and I am not sure how many teeth a horse should have anyway. I mean, come on, wtf do I know about horses? Last time I saw one on TV it was at the kentucky derby and I was like "If a woman had hindquarters like that I'd bend her over my desk!" But.. uh... yea. Maybe that's more than you wanted to know.

So, funny story to close out this post. We are playing cards the other night to welcome me back, not that welcoming me back was the point of the game, but that's how I think of it, because, you know, I AM the center of my own universe and all. But.. where was I? OH right, so we are all playing in the kitchen and my one sis is snoring like a buzzsaw out on the couch. And we are laughing about it for several minutes and all of a sudden she wakes up and says she is not snoring, she's "having an asthma attack." Yea. I laughed. I have been teasing her about it all week now, because she seems to have these every night and they usually last from the time she goes to bed until she wakes up in the morning, but that's not snoring, no it's an "asthma attack." Riiiiiiiight. lol I'll have to remember that one the next time she is visiting and says I am snoring too loud. heh