Yet Another Gaming Update or YAGU

Nothing really interesting has happened to me lately...

I lead a really boring life. Well, except over the weekend I went through my meal at Red Lobster like a starving man at a free buffet. I'm half-convinced my family thinks I am bulimic because I had to stop halfway through my meal to blow my nose and take a piss and came back twice as hungry. I guess moving around settled my stomach. lol Like I'd vomit Red Lobster... Silly family.

So gaming has been fun lately. I've basically got a bunch of options right now. There's this Mount and Blade: Warband game, that is an independently produced game that has, without doubt, the most realistic medieval combat I have ever seen in a game. You arm yourself with arms and armor like a knight, and you can joust, throw spears, fire arrows and crossbows, uses axes, maces, throw hatchets, wield swords and lances and butcher knives or whatever your heart's desire is, and the combat is awesome. You can move around, block, parry and do various types of overhand, attack from the left right or thrust to the center, all of which can be blocked or parried by your foe. Shields will not only block blows but arrows as well, at least until they take so much damage that they break apart. It's like watching Samurai duel... One will run at you, weapon raised, you block it and counter-strike, he blocks and you part... then you close again and it's a series of block-strike-block-strike-parry.cut until your opponent or you fall over dead. There's not even any magic in the game and it's still awesome. I'm not even going to mention the fact that you can gather whole armies, take over entire castles, towns and villages, and make yourself King of your own lands. That's fun, too. But the combat is AWESOME! Best I've ever seen in a game, anywhere, ever.

My second choice in Dungeons and Dragons Online Unlimited. Quite a mouthful, I just call it DDO. I got the game 4 years back when it first came out, and it was disappointing back then, so I got rid of it. It was one of those pay every month to play things, and it wasn't very good or popular, so I dumped it like an overweight wife at a swinger's convention. Turns out, they made a lot of improvements on it, and my one nephew mentioned to me that it was now free and fairly popular, and hell, you just can't beat free when it comes to gaming, so unless the game really sucks, you're only losing time to play it. So I tried it out again, and it's got some features that cost money to buy, but otherwise, it is free, like that overweight wife done got herself in shape, learned to cook, and now gives bjs. So I am going to try this bitch out, and goddamn it, if she even whispers a WORD about me not taking out the garbage on time, I am pimpslapping this bitch all up and down and throwing her broken ass out with the trash on tuesdays. Or, in gaming terms, I will simply uninstall it and go back to Mount and Blade.

Interestingly enough, DDO advertises the best combat system in any MMO, and I guess it's not bad, nothing like you'll find in Mount and Blade: Warband, but it's based loosely on the D&D rules, you know that pen and paper Roleplaying game from back in the 80's? Yea, I was a Dungeon Master back in the day, what can I say, I was ten, geeky, and those preteen girls were just D&D groupies back then. lol So I guess what both games supposedly have in common is good combat, but frankly, M&B:W kicks ass as far as the combat system goes. Hell, if mount and blade added magic and goblins to it's game, I'd orgasm every time I played it. Whether there was a stripper blowing me or not.

One thing I've never liked about games, it's all about humans. Yea, pretty much every story and every game is based around humans. What's wrong with showing the point of view of other things? I have always been fascinated by other cultures, what rules there are, how those rules evolved, and so on, it's always been interesting to me. For instance, did you know a set of perfectly white teeth here will get you laid, but in japan, that's considered a gruesome beauty flaw? Or at least it was, back in the middle ages. Not sure how our western views on beauty are molding their culture over there. Also, you show a man your privates here in the US, and he'll bed you quicker than a traveling salesman at 4:15 pm, and in japan it's considered taboo to even see a woman's privates. Isn't that crazy? They are like our opposites. I guess that means their government and health care system actually works over there. Huh. Who'da thunk it? Probably also means their people are suffering from an epidemic of being healthy and underweight, totally the opposite of ours. Shit, I need to learn japanese and move over there. I could get used to the non-white teeth on a chick, as long as she's hot and skinny. And hell you just can't go wrong with asian girls, right?

Err, that's wildly off track, but anyway, that's it for this gaming update. We have entered the slow season at work, so I've taken like 3 calls so far in the last 4 hours, but I am trying to look busy. It's damn hard with my eyes closed, I'll admit that, but I was dreaming about typing, so that's pretty close, right?