I have no idea where they got the idea for the name of the last bond movie, but I had the displeasure of seeing it last weekend.
As a trained scientist (I have a degree in Biology), I tend to not only think like a scientist, but I run experiments in my own life to test my theories. Most recently, I decided to watch Quantum of Solace to see if I could stand to watch Daniel Craig without laughing at him because of his being de-manned at the end of the last bond movie. Oh, and him being a horrible actor, as well. But no! As it turns out, he didn't even elicit a laugh from me. The most I was able to summon up was a bit of scorn and derision. Spoilers to follows, although if you've seen the movie already, your life was spoiled enough.
So the movie opens with him in a chase scene. Because the producers are more than aware of his inability to act a single scene with any believability, so they put him in as many action sequences as possible to distract you from the lack of any actual acting ability. Or, you know, content. So bond is being chased, we don't know by who or what, or I should say, Daniel craig is being chased because I refuse to think of him as James Bond, I don't think he once delivers the line "Bond. James Bond." ever in this movie, or even in the first one. I think he doesn't because he'd look like a moron by comparison to past bonds, and I'm even talking about timothy Dalton here, who was by all accounts the worst bond, but compared to Daniel Craig was a masterful actor. In any case, the chase scene ends, Bond meets M (his superior) for the usual "This is what's going on and how you need to fix it" meeting, only, no, this doesn't explain what's going on because they are interrogating someone for information (I'd think daniel craig would flee the room at this point, cupping his ruined manhood, but no... I'd have laughed if he had) and suddenly M's guard starts shooting everyone in sight. Somehow bond and M both manage to escape the hail of bullets unscathed (no idea how, the action transpires quickly but it appears both M and Bond were shot at?) and suddenly M is trying to figure out who the hell this organization is that managed to infiltrate her MI6 or whoever she heads.
Now, I'd like to set an aside here and give props to Dame Judy Dench here. She is quite possibly the only person who should have been in this movie, and she does her best, but it's just not helping the movie any. Although, her lines deliver the only meaning the movie has and the only sense of what's going on, because you can't find out from anyone else. She'll say something like "Who was that assassin?" and craig will mumble "mmhhmmrrrmm." And she'll say "Quantum of Solace? Well who the bloody hell are they?" in her crisp english and craig will respond "murmurhurmerhmmm." That's pretty much the dialog through the whole movie. Yea, he's a mumbler.
So apparently there's some secret organization out there. And they want your lucky charms. Or something. You never really find out what they are after, or why M is so furious with them other than they turned her best bodyguard to the dark side. Oh, and there's no explanation for that, either. M says there isn't, anyway, so of course, Danny craig (jenny's brother?) goes on a killing spree trying to find out who did what to whom and when and where and how and why, only he never actually finds anything out, he just goes around fighting and shooting.
And the fighting and shooting isn't even believable for this guy, which is utterly ridiculous, you'd think if it was his only strong point, they'd make it as believable as possible. Well, you'd be WRONG. This guy gets his ASS KICKED in every fight he's in, somehow manages to shrug off every single blow as if it were nothing (and it isn't, because he can't act, it doesn't even look like he's getting hit in the face with a crowbar), and he doesn't even shrug it off, he just goes back to throwing the next punch. He's like moving meat, there's no life there. You could replace him with a frozen rack of ribs and the goddamn movie would be MORE entertaining. I don't even know why this guy is an actor, he couldn't act like he was hurt if you shot him in the balls with a bazooka.
Something else I'd like to mention, this guy sets my gaydar alarm bells ringing. I am sure the actor himself is guy, because if he's just acting like a gay james bond, you know, like george hamilton acted like a gay zorro in The Gay Blade, then he is instead the best goddamn actor I have ever seen, because my gaydar is pretty goddamn accurate, and it's sounding like a goddamn foghorn whenever the man's on-screen. He is literally the gayest man I have ever seen. I know gay guys and they don't act that gay. I don't even know how I can explain the subtle body clues that I pick up on, because the role he's playing has him having sex with women and blowing shit up, so you'd think there'd be no opportunity for him to show off how gay he is, but no. No. The man screams gay in every goddamn scene. Now, I do not have a problem with the man being gay, but if he's playing a straight male, I better goddamn well believe he's a straight male, or he has failed as an actor. I mean that's literally the definition of an actor, if you can't make people believe you are something you are not, then you FAIL.
Pretty much the only part I saw him in that I believed was when M asked him if he cared about losing his girlfriend in the previous movie, and he said he didn't. Yes, he supposedly says that because he's trying to hide his search for vengeance from M so she'll let him go kill the guy without interference, but honestly, when the only line you say in the movie that "girls mean nothing to me." is the the only line in the entire movie that I believe, well, that's saying something. I did believe him when he said his dead girlfriend meant nothing to him. Later in the movie, some other girl he supposedly slept with is found dead, and he again tells M she meant nothing to him either, and I believed that line, too.
The rest of the movie is just him trying to play a straight guy and failing. I didn't find the car chases, the stunts, the shooting, the killing, his mumbling, or any of it remotely believable. And don't expect to be able to figure anything out, either. I had no idea who the organization was, what they were about, why danny craig was doing anything, or otherwise. The only good parts in the movie were Felix Lighter, the standard american CIA agent that always happens to be in the james bond movies, the part played by this incredibly hot south american chick who is trying to kill this generalissimo so he can't take over her country and get revenge for her family, and of course, M. They don't even mention Q branch in this movie, there's no cool gadgets, there's no tricked out supercars, and there aren't even any fricken sharks with fricken laser beams on their fricken heads.
I want to take this last paragraph to mention, the only reason you'd want to watch this movie is if you are gay and have a thing for Danny Craig, or if you are straight and have a thing for the incredibly hot russian chick who plays a south american chick (olga kurylenko, maybe?), or if you are an older british male who thinks Judy Dench is still hot. Seriously, the best acting job I've seen in this movie was done by the russian chick pretending to be south american. That's pretty impressive, going from russia to south american accent. And I don't want to degrade M at all, but she's basically playing an englishwoman here, so it's not much of a stretch.
I also just heard they've put the next James Bond movie on hold indefinitely. About time they came to their senses. I mean it's literally ridiculous making any more movies with Danny craig at this point. Seriously, go with my idea. Replace James Bond with Jane Bond and make the movie the exact same way as they used to. Have her go around shooting people, blowing shit up and hooking up with random chicks. Seriously. I'd watch it. If I knew someone in holloywood that I coudl sell this idea to, I'd do it, but I don't. Sell it, shit I'd give it away just so I'd have something cool to watch.
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