Wheee I made it!

Yesterday was my birthday!

WOOHOOOO I'm 40 now!!! :-D I know most people probably aren't thrilled about reaching their 40th birthday, but to be honest, I didn't think I was going to make it this far. lol Yesterday was my actual birthday, and I probably should have posted this then, but frankly, I was having too much fun enjoying my birthday. I mean, I spent the evening in the company of friends, listening to 80's music and eating ice cream and cheesecake. Only thing that would have made it better is a stripper. Eh, maybe next year. Or to celebrate my 50th. lol HOLY SHIT I'LL BE FIFTY IN TEN YEARS!!!!!! :-o

So I'm at work today, and the biggest hail I have ever seen starts coming down. Okay, let me rephrase, I have seen bigger, but only in videos on the internet. This was smacking the windows next to my cubicle! Dime-sized, easily. I didn't see any shattered glass anywhere, so I think my car is okay. We're supposed to have storms all day, which is awesome, I love storms. But nothing serious happening out there right now. And yes, this is how I spend my days at work. Looking out the window, blogging, and doing crossword puzzles. Yes I get paid for it. :-P

So I am at work last week thursday, and the blonde across the row from me says something, I can't remember what, something about her day, I tend to tune her out after the first few words to stare at her, uh, assets, and when she finishes what she was saying, she says, "Awesomeness." And my nephew's listening to her too, I think he was, anyway. I mean, he was there, but whether he was "listening" to her for the same reasons I was, I have no idea. lol Anyway, she says "Awesomeness." And I immediately think "I has it." So I say it. And they both look at me like I am insane. lol Yes, it's true. I think I am awesome and very few people agree with me. Eh, I can't help it if they just don't understand how awesome I am. I show my awesomeness to very few people, so if you think I am awesome, then you are one of the select few who I let see the inner me, and therefore, I think you are awesome as well. I think the guy on Star Trek (Barclay, in the Next Generation series) said it best when he said, "To know me, is to love me, is to know me." That's right, you have to love me to know me. Preferably with lube, I am getting old and my skin is getting a little thin in spots. lol

I think that would make an awesome demotivational poster. A picture of me, sitting in my cubicle, looking all relaxed, sloppy and unassuming, and underneath the picture, it says AWESOMENESS. And then in smaller letters underneath, it says "I Has It." Yea, considering I literally have NOTHING else hanging in my cube at all, and that being the only thing, it would be awesomer, even. Awesomeness squared. Cubed, as it were. CUBED!!! HAH!!!!! I MADE A FUNNY!!!!! You know, like I'm in my CUBicle? Shut up, that was hilarious and you know it. Stop staring at me like I'm an idiot. I haven't slept well in 3 days. It's funnier if you are tired. Here's what you do, stay up for like 24 hours straight, then come back and read this post and see if you don't almost die laughing. Do it. I double dog dare you.

What the fuck is a double dog dare, anyway? I never understood that. I mean a dare is one thing, but what's a dog dare? What do dogs have to do with dares? And how does doubling a dog make it something you MUST do? I don't think anyone ever double dog dared me to do anything, quite frankly, because I am the type of person where I either have already tried it on the first dare, or I absolutely refuse to put my penis into the meat grinder. I mean, I am a genius, but I can do some pretty stupid shit sometimes, you know what I'm sayin? Eh, I blame the alcohol.

So here's what I am going to do today. Go home. Sleep. Eat Pizza. Play PC games. Eat Cheesecake. Play PC Games. Eat Ice Cream. Explode. Yes, in that order. There's only so much cheesecake and ice cream a person can eat before they explode, you know, it's been scientifically proven! Something about their body weight divided by their breast size multiplied by the square root of the circumference of their testicles. SHUT UP, that's the goddamn formula, IT IS!!! I just looked it up on the intertoobz, and if it's on the intertoobz, IT HAS TO BE TRUE!!!!!!!