Okay, this post is going to be late, and count for tomorrow, but dammit, I don't care. So here I am, late at night, watching horror movies, and someone asks me for recommendations for horror movies. and of course i'm like Whaaattttttt? because, you know. This is what i do. i watch horror movies. And then i can recommend stuff. Yeah, most of the horror movies I watch are crap. but not all of them. And that's the important thing. Not all of them are crap. Just most of them.
The Chalk Line (aka Jaula, 2022) is about a childless couple who almost run over a little kid standing in the middle of the road at night. She's sick, and thankfully they get her to the hospital before a passing motorist squishes her like a grape, as old mr miyagi would have said. Unfortunately, the little girl also seems to have some behavioral issues. Like, she can't function unless you draw a chalk box on the floor for her to move around in. She won't leave the box. and she freaks out if there is no box. So weird, right? That's where the movie gets the title!
The Chalk Line was not a bad horror movie. No monsters, so no real special effects were required. Foreign film, on netflix, so there were subtitles. I didnt know the actors, but most of them seemed decent. It's a little confusing for the first hour or so of the movie. There was a quick flashback about 2/3rds into the movie that kinda explains everything that was going on, so don't miss it, or you'll be really confused. Worth a watch. I even liked the ending. Again, no monsters or aliens, but just a plain, normal, scary humans horror flick. Because, let's face it, humans are scary. This is why i don't leave my house. Unless there's candy. i mean, the candy van roams my neighborhood every few months, and let's face it, the candy van has the best candy. i mean, it's right there on the side of the van. Free Candy. So. i mean, free candy is the best candy, right? Right. course, the candy van has nothing to do with The Chalk line. I'm jsut saying. Free Candy is good.
Cam (2018) is about an ambitious camgirl trying to move up in the world, and probably make some bucks along the way. Alice aka Lola_Lola has three rules she doesn't break. She never says I love you to her fans, and there's a couple other ones that are equally important, but i forgot those. So Lola is working a show in front of an audience one night, and that's when the really weird shit starts happening.
I'm not a huge fan of cam. Okay, it gives you kind of an insight into how someone could end up a camgirl. I mean, the answer is always money. And I suppose thre's a lot of competition for a limited number of rich guys who spend money on those sorts of things, not that I have ever seen them, because i don't have two dollar bills I can rub together. I mean, I can kind of get the point of competing for limited resources. Everyone wants the top-paying jobs out there, but there's only so many jobs, and only so many people who can do those jobs. Me, I wanted to be an adventurer, but I took an arrow to the knee. Or a house painter. But only using the color purple. I know it's kind of a limited niche market. I guess the acting was okay, though I didn't recognize most of the actors and actresses in this, and it wasn't even a foreign film. I think the main protagonist goes through a crazy number of odd things to try and recitfy her situataion, and not all of them seem sane. is the point of this film that the cam girl environment was a little crazy to begin with, so it wasn't a big stretch? I don't know. I didn't like the ending on this one, but feel free to check it out on netflix if you care to. Some nudity. Everything else in here was hard to relate to, at least for me, but it may be just because I am getting old. Maybe young kids today, they get this film. Maybe it resonates with them. Maybe they understand it in ways I couldn't possibly fathom, given another 50 years of life. I only have one thing to say to them.
Get off my lawn.
In other news, it's late. There's a big hairy spider camped outside one of the back windows of my house, and I can't get to him, and that bugs me. heh. Bugs me. I know a spider is not a bug, but, I mena, that's kind of funny. I make joke. Right, I'm tired. Okay, I'm off. Probably can'tpost again tomorrow ngiht, too much to do. I'll catch up one of these days, I swear! Can I manage 31 movie reviews in 31 days? That's the challenge, isn't it? I've failed before! I may fail again! Honestly, odds are 50/50 at this point, I'm kind of unreliable. Stay tuned to find out! Same Meandering Scribe time, same meandering scribe channel! BIFF! POW! ZONK! Sorry, just seemed like there should be some old-school batman fight sounds there at the end. I may have overplayed my hand.
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