Whee, I'm back to one movie a night! Well, one review a night, let's put it that way. Typically I'll watch more than one horror movie a day, I mean, there's like 24 hours in a day and a good horror movie only lasts 2 hours, which leaves me with hours and hours left to sleep, eat, nap, and watch other horror movies! I know, it's a horrible life, but someone's got to live it, amirite?
Errementari: The Blacksmith and the Devil (2018) is a touching story about a blacksmith who makes a deal with a Devil. As usual, the Blacksmith gets screwed out of his end of the deal, and he, in turn, tries to screw the Devil out of getting his due. Not everything works out as planned, and wouldn't you know it, but all Hell breaks loo... wait, what? All Hell doesn't break loose? Just a little bit of Hell? Oh well, better than nothing, I suppose.
Errementari is a foreign production put out by Netflix. The scenery is awesome, but the dialogue and acting seem a little below their usual standards. Even the way the sound fades in and out during the movie is kind of annoying, I mean, I know whispers are supposed to be quiet and hammering an anvil is supposed to be loud, but I shouldn't be lowering and upping my volume so often that my arm gets sore, you know what I mean, Netflix? Sound department dropped the ball on that one, I guess. Dialogue was... well, the dialogue was there, I guess, but it's pretty much the basic lines required to move the plot along, with no great quotes to take away from the movie, and you'll notice how poor the dialogue is. Or at least, I did. Would I watch it again? Nope! But, I guess there were demons ande devils and horror the first time, so sure, it qualifies as a horror movie. Maybe too religious-themed for my taste. Errementari is available on Netflix, of course.
In other news, I've been watching The Haunting of Hill House (also on Netflix), and I was reading a story about how people are vomiting and passing out from fear watching this series, and frankly, I'm just not seeing it. Maybe a small child would be afraid of this series? I don't know, as I am not a small child. Probably just Netflix propaganda. There's the usual series of jump scares and creepy-looking actors in make-up, the usual crap you see in any Insidious movie or whatever, and that's all I've seen so far. Granted, I'm only like 8 episodes in, but they've been retelling the same story from like 4 different character's perspectives for the last four episodes, and frankly, I am getting tired of rehashing the same events over and over. I get it. Shit happened. Move the fuck on and tell me what happened next! Ugh. Netflix, for all its money, still doesn't have a fucking clue what makes good entertainment. I think they lucked out on Stranger Things and are still trying to figure out how they managed that much. Oh well.
That's all for tonight! Catch you guys tomorrow with another probably-crappy Netflix horror flick. Geez, I hope they're not becoming the next Asylum Pictures. Yikes. :-o
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