So I read this article on the internet the other day about how Netflix doesn't want us to use "binge-watch" anymore. I'm not really sure why they have an issue with it, or why they think they have any right to control our use of the English language. I mean, they're a service that offers me things to watch on the internet. Why do they think having lots of money entitles them to control how I speak? The writer of the article offered to use "gorge" instead, but that's just dumb. Why cave in to pressure from someone you're paying to stream movies to you?
So, I binge-watched The Innocents (2018) on Netflix, if you can call watching 8 episodes in 6 days "Binge-watching." The Innocents is about a couple high-school kids who run away together in the name of true love and find out one of them has the power to "shift," or basically take on the form of a person they touch (the way the description reads, it sounds like they both realize they have powers, but that's not what happens). Of course their parents try to track them down, as well as some creepy Norwegian guys, but why they want the girl with the power to shift is unclear.
I was talking with a buddy of mine about how low quality some of the movies we watch on TV has been lately, and he commented how great Netflix's productions are. I had to disagree with him, at least on this one, because Netflix really dropped the ball. Sure, the acting and production values were fine, but this thing is 8 hours of crap. Nothing happens til the third hour in, and then you find out the girl can shift. Then, nothing else happens for like 4 episodes. Then there's the finale, in which one action scene happens. There's no special effects in this series, and I don't mean minimal special effects for a supposed movie about mutants or people with powers, I mean, zero special effects. All the "shifting" is done by actors and actresses switching places and pretending to be someone else. It's like Netflix spent all the budget on the acting talent (and I'm not even sure if I've seen any of these people before), and Norwegian scenery, and zero on the writing and special effects. There's not even any nudity that I can recall, to make up for the lack of plot, action and effects.
The plot just falls apart when you try and think about it, so it's best not to do that. Maybe some minor spoilers in here, but so many questions. Why does Steinar agree to help the Doctor without any pay? Where does he get the money to pay his buddy? Why does his buddy even agree to go with him, when he sounds like Steinar's been bullying this guy for half his life? Why is the Doctor having Steinar follow June when he doesn't even know what's happening with Runa until several episodes in? Why is Steinar so convinced of the Doctor's mission that he's willing to give up everything to help? Why does it take the police department 7 episodes to put a trace on a cell phone? I'm not even going to mention how god-awful the ending is, because it totally sucks. Ugh. This thing is giving me a headache, just thinking about it.
I would not watch the Innocents again, mainly because it's mostly 8 hours of sheer boredom, and none of the characters seemed to do a single thing that was intelligent or humane. I'm not watching a second season. They could have cut out about half the episodes, and the thing would still have been 4 hours of boredom. If they had made it into a movie, it might have been worth a watch, like one of those old-school monster movies where they didn't have special effects, and the whole thing had to be carried on the basis of the acting and plot. But then, the plot doesn't work here, so it still would have fallen apart. What a waste of my 8 hours. I think Netflix should give us a free month whenever they advertise their crap productions and we waste our time watching it. I wonder what 8 hours of my time is worth? Netflix took out all the customer reviews, so you can't even comment on their site about how awful some of their garbage is. Typical.
Ghoul (2018) turned out to be much different. It's about a political prisoner being captured and tortured in a secure facility in, what I think, is a near-future version of India. Honestly, the near-future part wasn't even necessary, because there's really no technological advances that needed to be explained, just a shift in politics that forms the backdrop for the movie. I don't want to give away what happens, because it is definitely worth a watch.
The first hour of Ghoul is, admittedly, a bit of a slog. I don't go in for ideological-political bullshit, because at the end of the day, it means absolutely nothing. I turned off Ghoul about halfway through the first episode, about to label it as utter garbage, and move on with my life. I am glad I had some free time to devote to it later on, because it gets better. The ideo-political crap forms the backdrop for the entire plot of this thing, and the supernatural stuff starts to show up at the end of the first hour. Then, the next two episodes are where all hell breaks loose, and you guys know how much I love it when that happens! :-D I watched all three hours of Ghoul the first night, and that was definitely binge-watching. Or, I suppose you could just call it a long movie.
I would totally watch Ghoul again, and if there's a sequel or season 2, I am going to watch that. Special effects are good, and while I don't know any of the actors in this thing either, there's action and special effects to keep me distracted from any bad acting that may or may not have occurred. No nudity, and I am surprised to say, this one doesn't even need it. If you can make it through that first hour (and it was a very difficult thing), then the other 2/3rds of it is quite good. Even the ending is pretty awesome, and that's so rare to find, nowadays.
Okay, that's all for this month! I'll catch you guys in September, when I start warming up for OHMRAT (my October Horror Movie Review-A-Thon), by reviewing as much as I possibly can on TV. With any luck, there might even be some new fall series I can check out for you guys. Until then, stay safe, and don't punch a bear in the face unless you really mean it.
No comments:
Post a Comment