Saturday, October 14, 2017

#14 - Saturday the 14th (1981)

I was going to review "Killer Klowns From Outer Space" tonight, colloquially known as the "other" killer clown movie (besides IT), but it is saturday the 14th.  I might have missed the opportunity to review one of the Friday the 13th movies on friday the 13th, but I can't possibly let the 14th go by without reviewing the only movie ever made with the title Saturday the 14th!  Actually, there were two movies called that, this movie and the sequel, appropriately called "Saturday the 14th strikes back," or some shit, and not "Sunday the 15th," which would have made more sense.

Saturday the 14th (1981) is about a family who inherits an old house from a deceased relative, and moves into it.  The young boy of the family finds an old book called "The Book of Evil," and starts reading it.  The book describes a curse that is supposed to come due on Saturday the 14th, which just happens to be only 2 days away.  Also inside the book are pictures of monsters, and as the boy reads the book, the monsters are released from the pages.  The house quickly fills with monsters, and the book disappears.  Can the boy and his family fend off the monsters, find the book, and break the curse, all before...  Saturday, the 14th?  :-o

Saturday the 14th is an early spoof, something along the lines of Airplane and a few other movies.  This movie isn't just a series of stupid skits, loosely strung together to poke fun, but has a fairly coherent plot.  Richard Benjamin plays the dad, Paula Prentiss plays the mom, and a much younger Jeffrey Tambor plays Waldemar, one of the people after the book.  This is more of a horror-comedy than a horror movie, but it's kind of goofy-scary-kooky at times.  Not a bad movie, more of a kid-focused story than most horror flicks, and really, isn't that what Halloween is all about?  Scaring the bejeesus out of the kids?  Yeah!

I've made it a point to watch this movie whenever a Saturday the 14th comes around, just for kicks.  Fun things to watch for are whenever someone opens the refrigerator, the goofy hijinks that ensue whenever the dad wanders around the house, and the teenage daughter's bathtub scene.  No nudity, but she reminds me of my childhood friend's older sisters, and that sure brings back the memories!  Sigh.  Anyway, enough perving.  I love how whenever they open the door to try and leave, there's a horrible storm out there, but whenever someone arrives, there's no storm at all.  Why don't they just leave the house then?  That would make sense.  Nope!  Wait til the person comes in, THEN try and open the door, and look, there's the storm again!  Drat it!  Funny through most of it, short movie, not a bad watch.  Hard to find, though.  I had to look this up on YouTube just to watch it, but the entire movie is up there.  Enjoy, if you like.

In other news, the Exorcists are still running around (exorcising, if you will?  BWAHAHAHAHA), trying to hook up with the foster family that is in desperate need of a cleaning lady, err, I mean, a cleansing.  I don't know who's actually possessed in that foster family yet, but goshdarnit, when I find out, there will be hell to pay!  Or, all hell will break loose.  Something will happen, and there's almost a 64% chance that it will involve Hell.  Yeah!

Marvel's Inhumans are still running around Hawaii, trying to find each other, although King Black Bolt and Queen Medusa recently hooked up.  Karnak's off futzing around with the locals, and Gorgon's still stomping through the jungle.  Honestly, I'm a little confused by the timeline, here, seems like Gorgon's been running through the jungle for days, while Black Bolt and his new buddy have been hanging out at this goofy Lab for days, and Medusa's been pal-ing around with her new doctor friend forever.  I'm getting a little bored by all this running-around-lost crap.  Hookup already, and get shit done!  More shooty-shooty, less talky-talky!  And wtf was up with Black Bolt finding the only human-born inhuman in all of hawaii, and just abandoning his ass when shit gets crazy?  Wtf, dude?  I thought you liked Inhumans!

And wtf is this shit where the only normal human on Attilan somehow becomes the most powerful person there?  Explain to me how his rhetoric of "destroy the class system, free the slaves" somehow equates to all the seemingly human guards patrolling the castle, and all the Inhumans still digging away in the mines?  Wouldn't one of them go "Gee, that sounds like a good idea, us leaving the mines!  Let's go take over the palace while black bolt is gone!"  No?  Why not?  And why the heck is everyone so blindingly loyal to the only non-inhuman in an entire city full of inhumans, but there's seemingly not one single loyal person in the entirely of Attilan who would stay loyal to the King, who just happens to be Inhuman?  I don't get it.

In fact, why not just use whatever Inhuman or device you used to nullify all their powers in the first place?  Sure, there was an orange ZAP and down went Queen Medusa, and the same thing happened to the big dog, Lockjaw.  What, it only works twice?  It's only good to make it seem super easy to take down the royal family in their own city, but it doesn't work on Earth?  How's that shit even make sense?  This show seems stupid.  I hate stupid shows, and this show is like the king of stupid shows right now.  Karnak seems like the only one who actually wants to use his powers, and he can't, because he lost them.  Of course he has.  Stupid show.  I'll keep watching the show to see what's up with Karnak, and Crystal's dog, because Lockjaw is just cool  Why doesn't he bite anyone?  Honestly, he's a bulldog the size of a pony, ffs!  Bite somebody!  The rest of the show is just goofy.

Okay, that's all for tonight.  Yay!  I reviewed Saturday the 14th, ON Saturday the 14th!  I R AWESUM!  You guys enjoy the weekend, and I'll have more reviews for you tomorrow, hopefully.

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