Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Horror Review #5 - Witchboard (1987)

Ouija boards, also known as spirit boards or Witchboards, have been around for a while.  A while being, hundreds if not thousands of years.  Typically used to communicate with "The Dead," Ouija boards have been featured in movies for decades, most recently in the movie Ouija (2014).  In fact, the movie Witchboard (which I am reviewing tonight), is even listed on the wiki website as a popular culture reference.

Witchboard (1986) starts out with a party.  Attending this party are Linda, her boyfriend Jim, and her ex-boyfriend Brandon, who has brought a Ouija Board.  Brandon breaks out the old spirit board, and they contact David, the spirit of a little boy who drowned some years ago, that Brandon has been chatting with for some time.  The party's a smash hit, everyone goes home schnockered, and Brandon forgets to bring his Ouija board home with him.  The next day, Linda decides to contact David, by herself.  David and Linda have a chat, and ...  well, come on.  It's a horror movie.  You know what's coming.  All hell breaks loose!

For those of you who think it's odd that Brandon roams around with a Ouija board, remember, this was the 80's.  Anyone who didn't wander around with a ouija board was considered a major douchebag.  I had one tattooed on my ass just so I wouldn't forget to bring one along.  In the old days, before the internet, Ouija boards were used like chatroulette.  You pretty much let it be known that you were looking to contact someone, and you prayed you didn't end up with a big dick.  In Linda's case, she ends up with a really big dick, metaphysically speaking.

Linda is played by Tawny Kitaen, whom some of you may remember from a couple of Whitesnake music videos back in the late 80's, filmed while she was dating the lead singer of the band.  She was also in Bachelor Party (1984) with Tom Hanks, when he was still doing comedy, and wasn't a huge star.  Tawny Kitaen was pretty much the only "major" star in Witchboard, and while her success didn't quite equal that of Tom Hanks, she did continue to appear in series, movies, and so on.  Tawny even has a nude scene in Witchboard, and she was looking pretty fine back then, if you ask me.

As far as horror movies go, this one wan't bad.  It was the 80's, so you've got weird psychics, metaphysical research, and visits to magic shops to see what the hell was going on back in the day, when they didn't have a scooby gang handy.  Aside from the nude scene (nude scenes were pretty much required in horror movies back in the 80's), there are several bloody deaths, a couple seances, and some generally spooky goings-on.  Special effects aren't exactly cutting edge, and the acting is mediocre, but how much do you really need in a horror movie?  There's a killer spirit, a hot chick, a shower scene, and lots of blood and guts.  That's plenty for a horror flick, and this isn't the first time I've seen this movie, so it has a fair amount of rewatchability.  Witchboard is on Encore Suspense this month if you want to check it out.

Okay, that's enough of a review.  It's late and I need sleep.  I hope everyone likes the new blog layout and background.  Til next time.

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