Sometimes, more often for me, but maybe not as much for you guys, horror movies are just about something entertaining you can watch for a couple hours. Something with gore, and blood, and rubber monsters, and many, many, boobs. They're called B-movies, probably for Boobs. At least, I hope that's why they are called that.
Seeing as I have a cold, or the sinus infection I get every year has reared its ugly head once more (happens around this time), and I'm not really up to anything requiring conscious thought, I decided on one of these crappy B-movies to get me through the evening. I haven't seen this one before, but Netflix assured me this one was on par with Poultrygeist, which I saw a month or so ago. Poultrygeist was a troma films release, which, if you know Troma, it had lots of blood, gore, sex, poor taste, and fine boobage. They are also the ones behind the Toxic Avenger, Kabukiman, and various other movies. Poultrygeist LOOKS horrible, but it actually has a sort of story to it, which is more just an excuse to show boobs and giant rubber chickens, but it's an acceptable excuse for a story line. Both Poultrygeist and Chillerama are on Netflix if you have some warped, twisted desire to check them out.
Chillerama (2011) isn't quite on par with a Troma film. Sure, there's a few boobs here and there, but unfortunately, it's an anthology, which, if you are fortunate enough not to know what that means, it's a collection of short stories. Usually, they encapsulate the movie shorts with a wider story arc that connects them all together, and this was the case here as well. An aging drive-in movie theater owner is going out of business, and plays a series of 4 movies that haven't been seen in ages, as a last-night-before-they-bulldoze-the-place party blast. The owner plays four short flicks for the delight of the hundreds of cars parked at the drive-in, and as it turns out, has a growing zombie infestation to deal with eventually, as well, which forms the basis of the wrap-around story. The four short films are about a giant carnivorous sperm running amok in the city, an extremely gay musical (literally) about werebears, a rather odd germanic film about hitler making a jewish golem, and a thankfully, extremely brief montage of shit. Literally, it's a montage of people pooping, or shit splashing onto walls, or whatever. I was thankful I'd eaten long before deciding to watch the movie. I don't know who produced or directed the last short film, but they have some odd mental issues they should probably either see a psychiatrist about, or self-medicate with many, many gallons of tequila. Per night.
I wasn't overly fond of Chillerama. The wraparound story was okay, with a reasonable selection of semi-talented actors and a few pros that you'll recognize. Interestingly enough, Eric Roberts, brother of Julia, plays a small role in the first flick about a giant rampaging sperm. Which, shouldn't really surprise you, because if you check his imdb.com page, you'll see he's been in hundreds of movies. Just since you've had lunch. By the time you eat breakfast tomorrow, he'll be in thousands of them. I don't think he actually has time to sleep. The cute little short chick in the wrap-around story I might have enjoyed seeing in the buff, but unfortunately, they don't surprise me with such pleasure. Acting was reasonably good for a bad B-movie. Some random boobs. Lots of blood, gore, and blue zombie muck flying around. Also, there's a giant rampaging spermatozoa. With teeth. And hitler gets beaten to death with his own arm. Um. I think those are pretty much the high points. Damn. Now I've gone and spoiled the movie for you. Ratfarts.
I probably won't watch Chillerama again, and I can't say it was definitely worth the two hour watch, but meh. If you like bad B-movies and aren't afraid of boobs being flashed on screen just for the enjoyment of teenage boys everywhere, it might be worth a single viewing. Well, one more movie to cross off my netflix queue, and make room for more! :-D
Short review tonight because it's already nearing midnight and if I miss posting every day, several of my readers have vowed to hunt me down and paddle me. And frankly, I'm not really up to that much foreplay tonight. Maybe next week.
Catch you guys tomorrow night.
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