Yea, Fall TV season is coming up soon, and in some cases, already underway. Like most of you, I can't stand most of the crap they put on TV nowadays, and just to be clear, I will never, ever recommend that anyone watch a reality TV show. Because, that's just cruel. What I will recommend, is anything with action, hot chicks, or monsters. Or, you know, horror in general. I may not end up watching all of my picks all season, but these are the ones I've heard of that I'm going to at least check out. Here's a listing of Sept and October premieres:
http://www.tvguide.com/special/fall-preview/calendar.aspx
Let me first explain why I will eliminate a bunch of good shows because they don't live up to my personal standards. Boardwalk Empire's final season premiered on HBO a couple weeks ago, and plays every sunday. Although I love Steve Buscemi as an actor, the concept of a show about a prohibitionist-era bootlegger doesn't appeal to my personal taste. No actual aliens, monsters, or the like. Sure, it's got action, and probably nudity, but just not my kind of show, I suppose. Sons of Anarchy, although I have heard good things about it, has been eliminated from my viewing for the same reason. I've eliminated The Walking Dead (whenever it premieres, I have no idea) because the writing sucks, at least in my opinion, despite it having actual zombies. If I don't mention a show, assume I have either not heard about it, or have eliminated it because there's no monsters or not enough action, or I've already seen it and decided it's crap on a stick.
Z Nation appeared last week Friday on Syfy in the 10 pm time slot. It's an hour long show similar to the Walking Dead. I wasn't terribly impressed by the pilot episode, but I'm giving it a second and maybe a third chance because it has zombies in it. I loves me some zombie horror, as a redneck horror fan might say. Maybe I should have a t-shirt made up with that slogan on it. I LOVES ME SOME ZOMBIE HORROR. Maybe I should have it tattooed above my ass. I hear tramp stamps are attractive to the opposite sex. My back fur would probably obscure the writing, though. Hmmmm.
Earlier tonight, I took a peek at Red Band Society and the Mysteries of Laura. The Red Band Society is about cancer patients in a cancer ward, and the Mysteries of Laura is supposedly a cop show. I'm... not really sure who the hell thought a show about cancer patients would make a good show. I watched it for about 15 minutes, and all I got out of it was depression. People with bald heads, amputated limbs and dismal prospects for survival, while stuck in a place reeking of death and disinfectant, does not make for a happy show. I will not be watching that one again, not even out of morbid curiosity. I only watched about 15 seconds of the Mysteries of Laura. It's possible the rest of the show was really good, but the 15 seconds I saw centered around a drab-looking dinner party. It's a toss up which place I would feel more morose at, a stuffy-looking dinner party or a hospital cancer ward, so I can't see me watching either of those silly things.
Madam Secretary is on Sundays on CBS at 8 pm. I've always found Tea Leoni attractive, and since her show doesn't interfere with The Strain, which is on later sunday nights, I thought I might be able to at least catch a few episodes of it. The idea of a show wrapped around a tough-talking secretary of state might be a good idea, even if there are no monsters in it. Eh, who am I kidding, it's probably crap, but Tea Leoni is a cutie pie. I have to at least watch an episode or two, otherwise, how could I walk up to her in a bar after the show is cancelled and offer to console her? I'd feel like a hypocrite because I'd never even seen the silly thing! Not that I'm ever going to come across Tea Leoni in a bar, but dammit, it's the principle of the thing.
Next week Monday, the 22nd, brings my first real dilemma of the fall season. Gotham premieres on Fox in the 8 pm time slot. That's not the hard part. I might enjoy a show about Gotham without Batman, but frankly, I don't think I will. Still, it's a glimpse at the world of superheroes, without any superheroes on the show. In that sense, it's a lot like Marvel's Agents of SHIELD, but set in the DC universe. We'll see how that one goes, but the 9 pm time slot? That could be bad. Sleepy Hollow's second season premieres on Fox right after Gotham, and Scorpion's pilot episode premieres on CBS at the same time. I watched Sleepy Hollow last season, and while it wasn't outstanding, it did have headless horsemen, demons, magic and Clancy Brown. You can't really go far wrong with that combination, though the show did try very hard to go wrong. Scorpion is about a bunch of geniuses banding together to fight crime, essentially forming the Avengers of the MENSA crowd. As a genius myself (I don't like to brag, but my IQ is significantly above the genius level. you might even refer to me as a super-genius. I like the sound of that. Wile E. Coyote, Super-genius! Uh, but I digress, and there's probably a train coming at me right now about to run me over), this show interests me. It may be hard to decide between Sleepy Hollow, with its decidedly magical bent, and Scorpion, which seems more reality-focused. I'll have to let you guys know which one wins out in the end.
Sept the 23rd brings the second season of Marvel's Agents of SHIELD in the 9 pm time slot on ABC. The first season was so good that if another channel showed boobs for an hour, I'd never know. Yes, it's so good that I would watch it over boobs. Or under boobs. Or around boobs. Or even, with boobs. You don't have to be a guy to appreciate good Marvel TV shows. Samuel L Jackson made a guest appearance on last season's finale as Nick Fury, and Bill Paxton (of both Aliens and Predator 2 fame) was the major villain last season. With Clark Gregg (Agent Coulson himself) playing the lead, Agents of SHIELD looks to be a decent seasonal glimpse into the world of superheroes in between the major superhero blockbusters coming out almost every year. It's almost like having a subscription to a comic book about the Hulk in between going drinking every Friday with Bruce Banner. Wait. No, it's nothing like that. That's the stupidest simile I have ever heard. I'm an idiot.
October 7th has The Flash premiering on the CW network in the 8 pm time slot, which works out nicely. It doesn't interfere with Agents of SHIELD, and is another look at the DC universe the night after Gotham is on. I actually watched the last time they tried to put The Flash on TV some 10 or 20 years ago, and frankly, it wasn't bad. Apparently, other people thought it was, because they pulled it. (shrugs) I like the Flash as a superhero mainly because he seems to have boundless energy combined with the ability to act faster than anyone else. As long as he has the intelligence to choose the right actions, I don't know how anyone could stand against such power, not even Superman. Of course, it's probably a drag to have to run everywhere because taking the train just seems so damn slow. In any case, I'm interested to see how it goes.
American Horror Story premieres October 8th at 10 pm on FX. This season is about Freaks. I liked last season's Witch motif, but since I am not overly fond of Freaks (despite being a bit of an outcast myself, they don't really qualify as monsters), I may not even get around to watching it this season. At least it doesn't interfere with any other shows I want to watch, as far as I know. I didn't see the first season of American Horror Story, but at least it's available on Netflix if I want to catch up.
Pretty much the biggest and last Premiere night is October 24th, when Grimm returns to NBC at 9 pm for its third season. I've been watching Grimm since the first season, and it's one of the better shows out there. I personally came up with the idea about ten years ago, but never went anywhere with it, and dammit, wouldn't you know it? Somebody else had the same idea and went ahead with it. Oh well, you snooze, you lose, as they say. Immediately following Grimm on NBC on the same night is the pilot episode of Constantine, which I guess pretty much picks up where the movie version with Keanu Reeves left off? I haven't heard anything about the show but I enjoyed the Constantine movie. I know, Keanu can't act, but the premise of the movie was good.
Okay, let's do a quick recap of what I am watching this winter, because even I can't keep track of all these shows in my head at once. I'm just going to list them by weekdays, so I know when these shows are on and when to look for them to premiere.
Sundays, Madam Secretary, CBS, 8 pm. The Strain, later that night on FX until the current season is over. Mondays, Gotham on Fox at 8 pm, Sleepy Hollow on Fox OR Scorpion on CBS, both at 9 pm. Tuesdays, The Flash on CW at 8 pm, followed by Agents of SHIELD at 9 on ABC. Wednesdays, possibly American Horror Story at 10 pm on FX. Thursdays, I've got nothing. Looks like I am watching porn and flogging the bishop on Thursday nights. Friday has Grimm on at 9 pm on NBC and Constantine at 10 pm immediately following it, also on NBC. And... Saturday looks like another night of self-flagellation, guilt and waking up in a puddle of my own excretions. Well, everyone needs a hobby.
That's all for tonight! It's late and it's way past my bedtime. Til the weekend and my next review, then.
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