I may have reviewed this movie before, but there's something I just noticed. Before I get into the details, let me sum up the movie.
A comet that hasn't been seen in 65 million years heads back around and passes close by earth's orbit. The radiation from the comet (which, according to the movie voice over, may have been directly responsible for the death of the dinosaurs) turns every living thing not completely shielded into a pile of red dust. Hmmmm, reminds me of Mars... I wonder if that's what they were trying to imply? Anyway, so we're focusing on a very specific set of survivors, starring one Regina "Reggie" (Catherine Mary Stewart) and her little sister Samantha, who meet up with this trucker, Hector (Robert Beltran). The survivors, who variously spent the night in a tool shed, a semi truck, and a metal theater viewing room, are fine. However, many other survivors were only partially shielded, resulting in a much slower transformation into red dust... leaving them vicious, dehydrating, decaying zombies with a thirst for blood. Also amongst the barely survived but slowly turning into zombies group, aside from the random mushy zombie appearance, is a group of scientists who managed to somehow forget to close the air intakes in their underground compound. I'm... not sure why that would make them zombies as well, since the truck, tool shed and theater weren't exactly airtight either, but wtf. It was the 80's. There were a lot of drugs floating around.
So let's chat this movie up and get it naked so we can have our way with it.
The first thing I noticed was that Catherine Mary Stewart was really hot back in the 80's. She kind of fizzled out in the 90's, and despite a few movies here and there, she's almost completely vanished from the B-list actress she was back in the day. Aside from Night of the Comet in 1984, she also made The Last Starfighter, which some of you older people might remember as a pretty decent sci-fi alternative to Star Wars back then. And yes, I guess today, or technically, yesterday since it's after midnight here, was May the 4th be with you day, otherwise known as star wars day, so there, I worked a valid Star Wars reference in almost on the right day. After her banner year in 1984, Catherine Mary Stewart, who has a very catholic name, I might add, was in Nightflyers in 1987 (another sci-fi excursion in which she had a short but memorable gymnastics scene... hey, I was 17 at the time, how could I forget that?), and then was in Weekend at Bernie's in 1989. Weekend at Bernie's was probably the closest she'd get to being an A-lister, though. Acting alongside Andrew McCarthy (of Brat Pack fame) and Johnathan Silverman of... uh... well, I'm sure he was famous for something. Anyway, that movie was hilarious and I never get tired of watching it, but poor Miss Stewart kind of fizzled out after that, appearing in a string of made for TV movies, probably on lifetime. Lifetime, as you know, is like a graveyard of has-been attractive actresses and male heart-throbs. I don't mean to insult miss Stewart on this, she was smoking hot and a decent enough actress, but I haven't seen her in anything good in about 25 years, sooo... (shrug)
One cool thing I noticed, as Reggie is coming out of the theater where she works (and managed to survive the night by spending it in a metal-lined viewing room), is the name of the theater: EL REY! And I'm watching this movie on... The El Rey Network! I was like :-o I admit, I was mildly shocked. I don't know if that was the actual name of the theater in the movie or if the El Rey network digitally went back and renamed it to enhance the cool factor, but either way, it was cool. I was slightly weirded out, man, and not just because I watched "Heavy Metal" (1981) right before this and would have had LSD flashbacks except I had never actually taken any LSD. At least, none that I am aware of. If there was some that I had taken, however unknowingly... well, that would explain a lot.
Another thing I noticed, and this was probably the greatest thing about the 80's... The music. Now, it's one thing for you to go to a radio station or a music TV channel nowadays and listen to 80's music. This is completely different to what was played in the 80's. Let me explain the difference so you can relate. What plays on the 80's music station now is the popular songs from the 80's that sold well or were popular or were well remembered from that decade. But take a moment to think about this... back in the 80's, aside from a couple stations that were playing big band music from the 50's or a few songs from the 70's, every single radio station you tuned to, was playing 80's music. And not just the popular stuff. When every single station is playing the same music, they pretty much play anything they can get ahold of, even from the less popular bands. So back in the 80's, you were literally BOMBARDED with 80's music, from every station, in every store, from every radio, and every, forgive me for using the vernacular... Boombox. That's right. People carried gigantic radios around with them wherever they went, listening to loud volumes of 80's music. Why? Because 80's music is cool, that's why. Think about it. Boomboxes back then were about as ubiquitous as cell phones are nowadays. You were naked if you left the house without one. I had one so heavy i couldn't even lift it at first. I had to work out and get ripped and buff just to carry the damn thing. True story, as far as you know.
Speaking of 80's music, there's a particular scene in which Reggie and her little sister go shopping, and are trying on various clothes and dancing around while Cyndi Lauper's "Girls just Wanna Have Fun" is playing. Reggie is in this delightful little fashion statement that reminds me of french models from the era, and frankly, I'd have done her right there, she was so damn enticing. But I'm a sexual beast with poor social skills, so I doubt I'd have gotten very far. In any case, there's a lot of 80's music playing in this movie.
Honorable mention goes to Reggie's little sister, Samantha, who was played by Kelli Maroney, of Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) and Chopping Mall (1986) fame. She spends most of the movie in or out of her cheerleader outfit, showing off her legs. Which, are nice. That's all I can say about that. Robert Beltran, whose legs I have actually never seen, went on to feature prominently in Star Trek: Voyager. He was also Chuck Norris' partner in Lone Wolf McQuade, which was also made in the 80's. Which begs the question, why is a movie called Lone Wolf McQuade, about a texas ranger called Lone Wolf McQuade, mostly feature the relationship he has with his new partner? Wouldn't that make him, I don't know, not such a lone wolf? Odd, innit? I thought so. I knew it wasn't just me thinking that, I KNEW IT.
Special effects in Night of the Comet were good for the time. This was pretty much a b-monster or b-horror movie, but let's be clear, back in the 80's, Terminator was a B-horror movie. Yes, the one that launched Arnold Schwarzenegger's career was a B-movie at the time. Nowadays, B movies have a bad reputation, but honestly, what's an A movie nowadays? Hunger Games? Twilight? Who the HELL wants to see that shite? Exactly. Back then, a B-movie meant you were going to see good special effects, aliens, monsters, boobs, and probably some kung-fu. Maybe all five. Nowadays, that's apparently a bad thing. Just one of many things wrong with our country, I think. Sad.
One of the nice things about this movie's zombies is, they don't last long. Yea, literally, any partial exposure to the effects of the comet means that, 2 to 3 days later, you're a pile of red dust. Doesn't matter how many brains you eat, how much blood you suck, you're pretty much a goner. So all you had to do, assuming you survived the first night, was chillax somewhere out of sight for a couple days and you had the whole goddamn world to yourself. Cool, huh? Yea, I thought so. But I was like 15 when I saw this movie, and what's cool to a 15 year old geek high on his own hormones? EVERYTHING. Yea. Nowadays, I realize the gene pool would have been so horribly eroded that i doubt that human beings would have survived as a species. But when are movies supposed to make sense? That's right! ALMOST NEVER! Good answer. Good answer.
Oh, and, and, in case all that wasn't awesome enough, this is a christmas movie! That's right! I didn't think you could squeeze more awesome into this awesome movie, but there it is. The comet hits near xmas time and there's just xmas trees and a bit of xmas music tossed in here and there for flavor. Which certainly qualifies it as a feel good xmas movie you can watch every holiday season, right up there with miracle on 34th street and Force of One, with chuck norris. Ayup.
Though this movie does have hot chicks, zombies, comets and post apocalyptic themes, there is unfortunately no nudity in it. Ah, well. They didn't have internet boobies back in the 80's, one of the only drawbacks to an otherwise great decade, but they do now! So, if you want great xmas time b-horror entertainment, watch Night of the Comet. You want boobies, well, go to almost any other web page but mine. lol Hmmm, maybe I should add boobies to my page somehow... Certainly wouldn't hurt my traffic counter any.
I'm planning on reviewing some of the current TV series I am watching, but that's for next time. I'm done for now!
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