In honor of the premiere of the remake of Stephen King's "Carrie" tonight, I'm reviewing the original 1976 version! :-D Usually I am dead set against remakes. I mean, for the most part, you're basically just getting the same damn movie remade with different actors, so... why pay to see the movie again when you've already seen it? So the producers can afford a new jet to take them to their vacation island in the philippines! YAY! Go producers, recycling the same movies over and over! It's a brilliant way to separate the poor man's hard-earned dollars from his beaten down old wallet!
Ahem. Well. Just to recap, this is a review of the 1976 Carrie with Sissy Spacek, not the one premiering tonight in movie theaters with Chloe Grace Moretz. Maybe I can review that one next October, as I certainly haven't seen it yet, and am not about to. Not that I wouldn't want to, but who the hell could I get to take me to the movies? I'm broke and a lousy date, quite frankly. And I never ever put out on the first date, so don't even think about it. I'm not a slut!
I think I may have read the original book by Stephen King, but I can't be sure. I've read so much of Stephen King's stuff, that I can't remember it all at this point. In any case, Carrie (1976) stars Sissy Spacek as "Carrie," an innocent teen girl with a fanatically religious and psychotic mother in the form of Piper Laurie. I've heard Piper Laurie received an Oscar for her role in Carrie, marking one of the very few times in history that an oscar was given out for a role in a horror movie, if true. So Carrie's mom pretty much runs her life. Everything Carrie does is a sin against God. Whenever Carrie even so much as expresses an opinion that might be different from her mother's religious views, Carrie is locked into a closet for hours to "pray." Without a doubt, this tends to interfere with Carrie having a normal high school and childhood social experience. So it's no surprise that one day, when Carrie finally reaches her, well, shall we say, gate to womanhood? Her reaction is not only one of surprise, fear and shock, but the other students do not react well. And her mother, to say the least, is not entirely supportive. And then, joy of joys, Carrie gets asked to the prom! Of course, this doesn't set well with the other students, and there's some... friction. Yea, that's a good word. Friction. Nuff said.
You know something I realized when I watched this movie, pretty much as a teen when I first saw it, and even more so today, is that I identify and empathize with the main character more than anyone else in this movie. Sure, the movie opens with full frontal nudity in a high school girls locker room, but that's not why I like this movie. Okay, well, it's not the only reason. It's because I AM Carrie White. I have an overbearing mother who was a bit of a religious fanatic. I am socially ostracized, and it was much worse in high school. I was late getting my first period, and it was just as much as a surprise to me as it was to her! I would never have gone to my prom if Tommy Ross hadn't asked me, and it was wonderful, goddammit! Wonderful until those bitches did what they did! Is it any wonder I lost my shit and things got a little out of hand? Let them burn, I say! LET THEM ALL BURN IN HELL!
The preceding paragraph should have most of you laughing hysterically because you know I'm a man. But hey, I still look damn good in a slinky dress that shows off my boobs, covered in pig's blood. Honest. I have pictures!
Seriously, though one of the reviewers on netflix, where I watched this movie, mentioned that it didn't really follow the book closely enough, and should have made more of Carrie's repressed rage instead of making her seem like she wouldn't hurt a fly. Having watched the movie and looked for it after reading that comment, I really can't see how that particular reviewer couldn't see the rage in Carrie. It's barely under control through the whole damn movie. All Carrie needs is a target, really. I mean, when each successive event happens that drives carrie over the edge, it's only because she doesn't have a real target that she doesn't unleash her rage sooner. She can't unleash it against her mother because she believes her mother loves her and is doing what she thinks best. She can't unleash it against her fellow students because Carrie believes they are just being normal kids, and Carrie just doesn't understand. Most of the time, Carrie's right. But then, Carrie realizes that while these things are all true, there's also the flip side going on. That Carrie is different, and she always will be. That she'll never be like these other people, and frustration after frustration piles up as she tries to fit in until they really fucking piss her off good. And then, as that old Z-movie title starring Rowdy Roddy Piper sums it up beautifully, Hell Comes to Frogtown. I thought Sissy Spacek did a pretty decent job trying to act like a teen girl who's totally flipped her shit upside down and all around, and I don't even like Sissy Spacek that much.
I'm usually much more in preference of an actually monster in my horror movies, but this wasn't bad. There was nudity, blood, boobs, ass, incredibly bushy nether regions on the teen girls that would be so out of place in today's world, and hell, the story was pretty good, too. Sure, it's basically just another anti-social teen goes apeshit and kills dozens at a local high school story, something that we are a bit more used to nowadays, but for 1976 this movie was the SHIT. I was only 6 when this movie came out, and still I knew it was the shit. How? Because it was written by Stephen king, and his movies seem to do well, that's why. And yes, I was reading Stephen King at age 6. Wasn't everyone?
You know, I'm guessing here, but I think times have changed a bit much for there to be a full-frontal nude scene in the Carrie remake that's premiering tonight. Which really sucks. I really don't get the whole "nudity is bad" idea, but gore, dismembered body parts and buckets of blood is fine? Here, let me give you a perfect example of what I am talking about. I'm watching Howling VI yesterday and my mother happens to walk past my room. Mom goes "WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING? PORN?" and I tiredly say "No, mom, just horror movies." and she says "Oh, okay, that's all right then." Now, yea, this exchange is ludicrous for any number of reasons, but I think it illustrates perfectly how someone in today's society thinks it's perfectly okay for anyone (forget for a moment that I'm over forty years old) to watch horrific bloodthirsty gore and scary devil-worshipping movies, but should a bare breast appear onscreen, IT'S TERRIBLE BEYOND WORDS! lol I just don't get it. Maybe my attitude is a little too European for the states, but it's just the way I am. (shrugs) Then again, I'm no longer religious, so maybe it's tied into that whole catholic attitude of "sex is a sin" thing? I got nothin.
That's all for tonight! I may have got a little too preachy here and there, but these are things I feel strongly about, and like the hot twin in Sleepy Hollow said earlier tonight, if you're not willing to fight for what you stand for, then you don't really stand for it, do you? Exactly. I stand for new, original movies, and full frontal (and rear) female nudity! :-D WHO'S WITH ME? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?
(crickets)
Well. Uh. Til tomorrow, then. Yea.
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