Monday, October 28, 2013

Horror movie review # 28 - Dracula's Curse (2006)

The biggest regret I have during the month of October is a lack of sufficient time to watch all the horror movies I want to watch.  Despite not being currently employed, despite playing computer games for but a few hours each day, I regret I must still eat, sleep and attend to the mundane activities that are so closely associated with the realm of the living.  Perhaps if the zombie apocalypse ever happens, I'll stay in my room and waste all my hours rotting away, catching up on all the horror movies I've missed over the years.  Since, you know, I'll probably be zombified right away and just spend the rest of eternity dead.  Whether NetFlix still functions during that time, or the internet stays up, who can say.  Assuming I'm an undead corpse at that time, I can only hope that I'll be interested more in watching horror movies than I will be in eating brains, but who knows.  Until that day comes, there are just other things that I have to do to get through each and every day.  Therefore, my time, alas, is limited.  But keep your hopes alive.  There is always next October, and I can and do occasionally watch a horror movie when it's not Halloween month.  lol

Dracula's Curse (2006) is a movie I chose solely for the fact that it was made by Asylum.  Having reviewed the remarkably decent Beast of Bray Road and another asylum movie earlier this month that just wasn't as good, I decided to give them another chance.  Alas, despite appearances by many of the Asylum regulars, it just doesn't renew my faith that they'll ever make a good movie again.

Dracula's Curse begins with a team of Vampire Hunters going about their business.  Killing vampires, that is.  Suddenly, their leader, Rufus King, is called to meet with the vampire council.  The vampires, it seems, are scared.  They want a truce.  They will agree to stop hunting humans, as long as the humans stop hunting the vampires.  In an effort to preserve the peace and save lives, an accord is signed that lasts for but a short 5 years, when one of Dracula's vixens decides to go rogue and break the pact.  Then... yea.  All hell breaks loose and all that.  lol

So, this movie just wasn't that good.  The overacting was worse than an emotional monologue by James T. Kirk.  Vampires switched sides so often and there were so many breeds of vampires involved that I couldn't tell who was human and who wasn't, or what side anyone was on.  Worse was the fact that the vampires didn't even look dead, which further confused matters, and didn't even show fangs half the time.  I guess the budget didn't have quite enough after paying the rather large cast to be able to afford plastic fangs for everyone.  I was rather hoping the one vampire would stick to his side of choice, but he didn't, and I was rather hoping the end didn't turn out to be as predictable as I had assumed, and it was.  More nudity might have spiced up things, but instead, the shots were limited to a single pair of, shall we say, rather saggy mammaries.

All in all, it was rather unsatisfying as a horror movie.  I was tempted to watch and review at least one other movie this evening, but, as I said...  time is rather limited.  :-/  If you are a fan of any of the Asylum regulars, they probably showed up in this movie.  Otherwise, I would suggest taking a pass on this one, although the chick who played Countess Bathorly was rather cute.  I would have liked to have seen a bit more of her bathtub scene, but alas, no.  No.  I was denied.  These movies are such a tease.

I hope everyone's enjoying the horror movies this month, and the halloween festivities.  To me, they are like old friends, coming around to visit me once more.  Watching the better ones is like hanging out with an old war buddy who always tells the same story of his time in the foxholes of WW2 when shit got real and what he did to survive.  Sure, you've heard it before, but he's your buddy, and it's a good story.  Meh.  Maybe I just need to get out more and meet real friends.  lol

That's it for tonight.  See you guys tomorrow!

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