I absolutely love "creature features" as they call them. Ever since I was a wee lad, I have had an interest in biology, and the thought of intelligent creatures different from the normal ones has always intrigued me. of course, in legend, such creatures were always referred to as monsters, because as we all know, mankind hates what it doesn't understand. Or at least, that's what monster movies have taught me. Whether non-human intelligences are monstrous or not, I couldn't say. I've never met any (then again, finding human intelligence is hard enough). Maybe I should have become a cryptozoologist, but frankly, all those bigfoot legends kind of bored me. Which is where monster movies come in! :-D Our feature tonight is titled, simply enough, "Creature."
You got to love a movie that starts out with nudity within the first 60 seconds, and this one does. I was impressed. Not only did they manage to squeeze the nudity in, but also some plot elements! I was agog with wonder. :-o And then everything went downhill from there.
First off, our intrepid group of hot nubile young campers (doesn't it always start out that way?) consists of three hot chicks (four of whom are related, two sisters and two brothers in the mix), and three, as far as I can tell, either marines or navy seals. Then they meet up with some country folk, who are as weird as they are ugly. And then, they go out to find out about some local legend, some guy named Grimly, who apparently went apeshit out in the swamp and became... The Creature! :-o
Yea, that's probably enough to get you started. The movie's on netflix if you want to watch it. For a good creature feature, you need 3 elements. (1) a guy in a rubber suit, (2) a hot chick who gets naked and (3) lots of blood and gore, and this movie has all that. I won't say the rest of the movie lived up to the potential of the first few minutes, but it was weirdly charming in it's own way. Also, no CGI effects! Yea, I guess they couldn't find a good computer out in the bayou. lol Plus, there's incest, a little lesbian action and a fair amount of nudity tossed in here and there. I guess they tried to satisfy everyone. lol
I'll try not to give away any of the plot in case anyone wants to watch it. Not that the plot is overly important, or tends to make too much sense. I tried not to think about it too much because I keep getting stuck on how three navy seals can get bitchslapped around so easily and have absolutely no comeraderie with each other. I may watch it again for the nudity alone, but otherwise, it's probably not going to pass the rewatchability test. Although, to be fair, there's this one actress named Lauren Schneider in this movie. I checked her out on imdb.com. She literally plays "the Hot girl" in TWO different and unrelated productions, one a series and the other a film, so I'm guessing she's "the Hot girl." lol That's what her part says, too. "The Hot Girl." No name, just that. lol So, she's there if you want to check her out. Although to be honest, she doesn't appear to be overly bright in this movie, so if you like smart chicks she's probably not your best bet. lol
I think this movie could have been a lot better. Just dealing with the creature and the campers alone would have been perfect, I think, but they had to include the creepy backwoods folk in there. Admittedly, they were played by seasoned actors and they did a good job on them, but i don't think they were necessary for the film at all. Tension and fear and suspense would have been perfect if our campers just had "the creature" to deal with and not a bunch of inbred hicks. And I don't use the term "inbred hicks" loosely, either. lol
Maybe if not so much background were done on Grimly, and maybe just left it as some sort of mysterious beastie? Eh, I don't know. I guess they just delved too much into the back story and don't focus enough on the action and horror, and that's what cost the movie, in my opinion. Still, didn't turn out too badly. Acting wasn't good except for the acting veterans, one of whom played in Constantine with Keanu Reeves (you'll know him when you see him), and even their parts weren't exactly horribly well written. Anyway, I'd say watch it at least once for the hot bayou chicks and forget about it.
Come to think of it, this movie reminds me a bit of "Hatchet," with that girl from the Halloween movies, both in reference to the creature and the bayou setting, AND the attitudes of the locals. Although I would have to say "Hatchet" has the better budget and actors. They even got the guy from the Friday the 13th movies (Kane Hodder himself) to play the villain in that one. And I'm not even mentioning Tony Todd, who has both the "Final Destination" and "candyman" movie series under his belt, but he's in that, too. Oh, i guess I did mention him. lol
In other news, there were presidential debates tonight! I didn't watch them. This blog is not about politics. :-) But they also pre-empted anything I might have watched on TV, so no news about any series for the fall season tonight. I tried watching Vegas last night and it turns out the shows two main stars are producing the series as well, which makes me think they needed some exposure to keep themselves in the spotlight. I will say Dennis Quaid plays a good cowboy and michael Chiklis plays a good mobster, and both actors are good at their jobs. But seriously, guys. Why can't you be in monster movies? I LOVE monster movies! Or horror! Horror's good too! Do a Kevin Costner and show up in something like Mr. Brooks! I think it was one of Kevin Costner's best movies! Possibly the only one he actually did any acting in! Or, maybe he wasn't acting. lol
Okay, see you guys tomorrow night for movie #4! We're three for three on movies I have never reviewed or even seen before. Keep that in mind if you don't like the quality of the movies I have chosen so far. I have never seen them before, so I have NO IDEA how good they will be when i pick them out of a long list of horror films. lol I think part of the problem is I tend to watch horror films as soon as I can find them, and then review the good ones immediately, so any good horror that's come out recently has already been reviewed in this blog. I wish there was time enough to watch a BUNCH of movies every day and just pick the best one, but there really isn't. Oh well. There has to be some decent movies somewhere.
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