Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Family Drama Update

Ah, there's nothing like warm family gatherings by the fire.

So I'm in my room last night, playing computer games like I always do (I'm a bit of a gaming geek), and my brother shows up.  Now, as I mentioned a few posts back, my brother told me he was disowning me one fine fall day in the middle of my kitchen because I wouldn't take his side in his 14-year feud with one of my sisters.  He basically gave me a choice, either I join his side and disown my sister, or he was disowning me.  I told him goodbye, since their argument that happened 14 years back didn't have anything to do with me, I wasn't there for it, and I've never wanted to discuss it with either of them.  But, my brother didn't give me a choice.  According to my nephew (his son), he's been ranting and raving about that argument for years, and wishing my sister dead.  I had been trying to ignore him for 14 years and apparently, he got tired of being ignored.  He did all this while my mother was in the hospital undergoing heart surgery (his mother too).  But instead of coming over to talk about mom's condition, or to see if I needed anything or just to commiserate over mom's poor health at the time (she's doing great now, by the way), he came over, ranted about my sister for about an hour (my sister was on the phone at the time and heard part of it), and then told me he wanted nothing more to do with me unless I had nothing more to do with her.

I really hate ultimatums.

So anyway, he comes to my house last night, and stands at my bedroom door.  He asks "Do you have something you want to say to me?"  And I'm wondering what the hell there could be to talk about at this point, so I say "No?"  And he says "I heard you weren't coming to the picnic unless I apologized to you."  I'd never said that to anyone.  I just didn't want to be around such a unpredictable person who'd had a history of violence against me.  As of yesterday morning, I was planning on attending the picnic and just trying to steer clear of him.  And note, that wasn't an apology.  He was just relating what he'd heard (from my mother, who somehow got that into her head, who told my sister "The tattler," who told his wife, who told him).  So I said "No?"  I was hoping that would be the end of it.  But it's never that easy with him.  He then said "So we're good?"  And of course we aren't, so at this point, I have to ruin his good mood.  I say "No." for the third time, and ask him if he's still disowning me.  He says "Yes." point blank, no qualifications.  So I said "Then there's nothing more to discuss."  So he's all "Why not?  Is it because of that thing that happened in the kitchen?  All that I said was, Mom's coming home from the hospital and you need to do more around the house, and you said no."  Which is total bullshit.  Despite Mom actually being in the hospital that one fine day last fall, he never even mentioned Mom from the time he walked through the door until the time he left, which certainly doesn't sound to me like someone who is concerned about her health.  Also, that's pointedly ridiculous.  I've been here helping Mom (and my deceased dad) out for the last 21 years by myself, through all their various illnesses and cancer, doing a hell of a lot more than he's ever done.  Certainly she was going to need more help around the house, and I wouldn't have even considered not helping her out until she was better.  The poor woman simply didn't have anyone else to keep an eye on her while she was recovering from the surgery.  And another also, if that's all he'd said, why was he disowning me, then?  That makes no sense.  So I say "I'm not getting into it with you."  Because I know he's just going to keep repeating his insane lies until someone buys them.  To which, he looks over at my mom (who I presume was standing in the kitchen, though I couldn't tell through the wall) and makes a face like SEE? like this somehow proves his point.

I think you, gentle reader, are getting a sense of just what a dick he is.

So he tries to get into it with me again, and I refuse to take his bait.  He again repeats "his version" of what happened in the kitchen that day, to mom, right outside my door so I can hear him lying.  So I refuse to get into it with him, and he starts just shouting at me, saying things like "You want respect?  Well, I give what I get!"  I don't recall ever mentioning the word respect around him, but I assume at this point he's just totally bonkers, and then after a while of him ranting I ask him "Well, if that's how you feel, why are you still here?  Just go."  So he blows up, says fuck this, and fuck that, fuck everyone and slams my door so hard that he breaks the trim.  And then has to hammer it back on before he can stalk out of the house.  lol  He yelled at my poor mom in the kitchen for a while, telling her he was done with everyone and I can go fuck myself and all that, and then tells her he's not coming to the picnic, coming for the holidays, or ever coming over here again.  Which, at least solves the problem of him possibly blowing up at me again for not agreeing wholeheartedly to his lies.  (shrugs)

He did a crappy job on the trim, by the way.  I had to take the hammer and fix it myself after he left.

The funny thing about all this is that my mom defends him all the time.  She's all like "well, he's been working too hard" and "he's in a lot of pain" and "He doesn't want to be alone."  All i can think of is, well if he doesn't want to be alone then why is he disowning me?  Her defenses of him make absolutely no sense either.  She'll say something to try and justify his completely unjustifiable actions, and I'll ask her if that's why, then why did he do this?  And she has absolutely no idea.  lol  Finally she said to me today, "Maybe he's just having a nervous breakdown."  To which I said "Well, I just hope he doesn't take all of us down with him."

So thankfully that drama is now out of the way.  If he wants a physical confrontation (he has a past history of pushing it that far), then he's going to have to come right to my door and start it, because I am not even getting near him if I have a choice.  But as long as he has nothing more to do with me, he won't be around and I can get some peace and quiet around here, so I can work on my tan.

And yes, if he starts a fistfight with me, I am kicking his ass.  No question.  Hulk smash.  :-)

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