Fuckin Google!

SO i come online to post about some things, namely, reviewing the series Lilyhammer, and the "red Riding" movie trilogy. And Google changed it's posting format! Yea, they tried to change it before, and I was all like NO GOOGLE! BAD! I LIKE THE OLD POSTING FORMAT! And then it went away and I thought, that's better, I've made my preferences known, and google won't ask me again. HAH! I am so naive. Google said FUCK YOU! And changed it's format anyway. I should have suspected. I mean, every time I try to check my gmail now, it's all "GIVE US YOUR ALTERNATE ADDRESS IN CASE SOMETHING HORRIBLE HAPPENS LIKE YOU FORGET YOUR PASSWORD! Completely despite the fact that I already GAVE them my alternate email address, and they actually have it fucking listed right there, they are still saying they don't have one on file. Morons. So i always click past that, and then they started asking about my phone number. WTF do they need to know that shit for? Now, I'm not an idiot, I know they sell information and the more info they have, the more money they get. But they don't even try and justify the shit anymore, they are just like GIVE US YOUR CELL PHONE NUMBER, BITCH! Wtf. Google is one greedy pile of shit-sacks. They can go fuck themselves about my cell, I don't even have one! HAH!!! TAKE THAT GOOGLEBITCHES!!!! Now, with that out of my system, on to the reviews. I had the pleasure of watching Lilyhammer on netflix recently. All 8 episodes, which took about 8 hours. Oh, not all at once, mind you, took me about a week. Starring Steven Van Zandt, if I am not mistaken, as a mobster who testifies against his new boss because the guy's an asshole and tries to kill him. See wtf, this is why i hate format changes, I can't even SEE the goddamn right hand edge of where I am typing. Fuckin Google morons! if the shit's working, don't change it! First rule of tech support, ya goddamn morons! Erm, anyway, so the mobster, one frankie Tagliano, known as frankie the fixer, enters the witness protection program and goes to lillehammer, norway. Over the next 8 episodes of this series, perhaps made by netflix itself, I am not sure, Frank embraces his new surroundings in the easiest way he knows how... he fixes things. Now, fixer doesn't necessarily mean violence, and what I like best about frankie is, he tries other methods first. And of course, being a newcomer in a strange country, and abandoned by the Witsec program because his testimony was beaten in court, frankie has to pretty much find his own way of getting things done. I liked Lilyhammer. The show clearly showed everything that was going on, there was nothing contradictory, there were reasons why everything was going on and all the characters were clearly illustrated and quite entertaining. I found myself looking forward to each new episode each day and with supposedly the first season now over, I am wondering when netflix is going to have the next one start. The natural landscape of norway is showcased often, but it doesn't interfere with the characters and their development, and I laughed often and hard over their various antics. Not so with the Red Riding series of movies, about a serial killer on the loose in england in the late 70's and early 80's. Basically, there were 3 movies done, each supposedly covering a year. One was set in 1974, one was set in 1980, and the final one was 1983, although all three movies were actually filmed in 2009, I think. So as far as I can follow, here's what happens. A reporter picks up on the fact that a number of children have gone missing, and there are similarities in the cases. The police already know about the serial killer aspect of the case in 1974 when the reporter goes to ask them about it, and then another murder happens and the case is given to someone else. Then the reporter is given a case about possible police corruption, and the whole series of movies goes downhill from there. Seriously. And the mayhem continues all they way through to 1983. I'm not really sure why an entirely good subject of a movie like a serial killer is blindsided with a story about police corruption, but it is, and this theme pretty much holds sway for the entire 3 movies. Each movie feels different, and they don't really follow one another, even if some of the characters are the same. And i didn't care about any of the damn characters, except, first time ever, there's an actual lawyer who I gave a damn about! :-o Yes, I was shocked. So let me sum up the three movies, if I can, in a way that will completely confuse you, because it did me as well. So here's the reporter, and I don't know what happened to him because the movie got boring and I switched to watch Grimm. But apparently he was investigating the murders on his own, while investigating police corruption, and fucking up both investigations so badly that he ended up getting beaten up several times and probably killed since he doesn't even appear in the 1980 movie. What happens with the serial killer case? does he find out anything important? Who cares, there's corrupt police! That's more important! So on we move to 1980, where the main protagonist (that's fancy writer-speak for "hero") is an honest cop brought in from outside the local department to investigate the killings. Now, all these killings are happening in an area in northern england, which apparently all falls under the control of one police department, or one main office, or something, and apparently, this office is controlled by a team of 5 or 6 corrupt police. The outside cop, while trying to investigate the killings, again stumbles on the whole corrupt police thing, and is killed for sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. But what happened with the murders, you ask? Who cares, there were corrupt policemen! That's more important! and goddamn you fuckin google, you have a SEND FEEDBACK banner right where i am fucking typing so i can't see SHIT now. Wtf, I'll give you some goddamn feedback, google, you are all IDIOTS! Does anyone actually try out their goddamn work anymore to see if maybe it makes things WORSE for those that use it? No? I fuckin thought not! But at the end of this movie, an arabic guy admits to doing all the killings. Which is a pile of BS because that makes no sense whatsoever. Especially more so once you see the third movie. Now on to 1983, where a lawyer comes home after his mother's death, and is asked to file an appeal for the retarded kid they locked up for the killings. What's that, you ask? Didn't an arabic guy confess to all the killings in the last movie? Why, yes, yes one did, and that guy is GONE. Now it's a retarded kid who supposedly signed a confession. Now the lawyer doesn't want to take the case, but then, there's yet another missing child case. And the police try to pin it on the retarded kid's friend, and when the lawyer takes THAT case, the friend ends up dying in his cell before the lawyer can even talk to him. Suspicious, you say? No shit. Now the lawyer figures out what's going on, and how the police are all corrupt and shit. So he files his case representing both the retarded kid they still have in jail, who was supposedly the child killer, and the dead friend. But enough about police corruption! There's a serial killer out there! And all of a sudden, it's all about the serial killer again instead of police corruption. Which just totally fucking confused me. But whatever. So now, as far as I can tell, one of the corrupt cops, who in 1980 guns down the guy who is investigating the killings because he figures out there's some police corruption going on, has a change of heart and actually wants to catch the real killer now. makes no fuckin sense at ALL. But now HE'S the hero. Yea. Some fuckin cop who goes around killing people and covering up their deaths by killing other cops, is now the HERO! Wheeeeeee! Wtf. I got nothin. Insanest piece of bullshit movie writing I've ever seen. So they find out who the killer is, the lawyer finds all the previous missing kids (most of whom are now dead, but he manages to save the latest one), and the guy who went around killing innocents, civilians and cops willy-nilly is now the one who gets the bad guy, and the lawyer just wanders off into the hills with the rescued kid in his arms! And that's THE END!!!! Wtf!!!! Nothing about police corruption, how that gets tied up, nothing about all those other people who investigated the corruption, NOPE, you want to know how all that worked out, well FUCK YOU. Not yours. What you get is a serial killer who barely showed up in the first two movies but makes a whimsical appearance in this one for no apparent reason except to take the fall as the bad guy. Not that there seems to be any doubt about it, mind you, I am pretty sure the right guy got it in the end, and I suspected him back when i first saw him because he was way too helpful, if that makes sense. I don't want to give away the ending or anything, in case you want to see all three movies to see how fucked up they are, but seriously... It just makes no logical sense. Except for the serial killer part, and who it ended up being, THAT made sense. Of course, we could have just wrapped that part up in one movie WITHOUT there being 5 and a half hours of people investigating police corruption and getting NOWHERE. I mean, do the people who make these movies just want to hand money away for no good reason? Give it to me! I'll do something good with it! I'll spend it all on hookers and blow! At least that makes sense! Dumbass sonsofbitches. Wtf did GOOGLE write that series of movies? Get me frankie the fixer! I want my old google posting format back! Sonofabitch there's not even a goddamn POST button, how the HELL do I post this on my blog now? goddamn morons.