And no, that doesn't mean I am writing this at 4 am.
And it's not a movie review, either. I guess maybe it's just a case of "the Mondays," but I was mildly depressed and a bit stressed this morning, thinking "oh, I've been out of work so long, and job prospects don't look good. I'm old, I'm financially unstable, and who knows when I will have money coming in?"
And then I thought to myself... "You're an idiot." And as usual, I am right.
Sure, there's no way to know the future, and things might get worse before they get better, but I am reminded of a few things. There's a saying that I have found to be true over the course of my 41 and three-quarter years. "There's always a way." And to give you specific examples instead of quoting a silly cliche, and to inspire myself to get through my day, I'm going to write about a couple.
First, let me give you the background. Just to make sure you understand how fair things were, these examples are from a game. Why a game? Because in a game, not only does a loss usually result in ignominious defeat, but death and dismemberment as well, and a game is as close as I ever want to get to that kind of violence. Also, games are designed so your choices are few and far between, tactics and strategy are limited to what the programmers could think of, and I want you to realize that, in real life, there are so many more options available to you, many you may not even think about. Another also, usually if you make bad choices in real life, you don't die from them. You can almost always pick yourself up, realize you made a mistake, and try something else next time. In a game, if you screw up, you lose. Game over. It's also important to remember, I had no unfair advantages or disadvantages, which is NOT like real life, but it also isn't always the case where you are the only one at a disadvantage. Sometimes, you have the upper hand, you just may not know it.
The game was Medal of Honor. The expansion pack specifically was Allied Assault, resulting in the ridiculously long winded title Medal of Honor: Allied Assault (or MOHAA). I'm not sure how many of you played or even remember this, so let me sum up. The game put you in the body of an Allied or Axis soldier during World War II. All you saw of yourself was your weapon and maybe your hands, and the settings were confined to a few city blocks, a building or two, or maybe a farm in the suburbs of France. That this limited the choices I had to make, and the ways I could overcome the opposition, goes without saying. Also, in real life, it's usually frowned upon when you blow someone up with a grenade. The game gives you an option you don't usually have in real life, but it just illustrates my point. There's always a way. In both situations I am about to describe, the server I was playing on was rifles-only, meaning, everyone in the game was limited to a bolt action rifle (with regular sights) and a grenade or two, instead of, say, sub-machine guns, pistols, and sniper rifles, which were available in other servers. With a bolt action rifle, you aim, fire one bullet, and then have to reload (reloading meaning, chambering the next round), which takes maybe 3 to 5 seconds. An eternity in actual in-game combat, the bolt-action rifles-only setting was designed to make a fair game even fairer. If you hit your target, you won, and if you missed, you usually didn't have enough time to reload for a second shot. As compensation, you could bash with the butt of your rifle, but that only worked in extremely close quarters. There were typically 12 to 16 players per server, split as equally as possible between the two opposing teams.
I'm going to set up the situations first, so you can see how utterly hopeless my chances seemed, before I tell you how I got out of them, and managed to turn catastrophic failure into overwhelming victory.
SITUATION (1): The map was your typical industrial section, whether it be France, Germany or where, I can't recall. The map was limited to a couple of warehouses, and there were several alleys between them, cluttered with numerous large crates for ample cover. Whether I was Axis or Allies, I don't recall. I spawned into the game, started searching around for cover and the enemy along with the half dozen other guys on my side. It was a simple Death Match game, meaning, when one side's players had all died, they lost, and the game either moved onto the next map, or reloaded the same one for best of 3 or 5 rounds. I broke off from my main group of allies and went down a side alley.
I realized afterwards that was probably the best choice, because apparently, all my allies were immediately killed shortly after I left them. As I followed the path down another alley, where it branched left and there was a door to a warehouse up ahead to the right, someone shot at me and missed. Glancing up, i saw someone in the blown-out second-floor window of the warehouse on my right. I fired a shot at him, which hit the windowsill at his feet, doubtless causing him no damage whatsoever, but he ducked back inside. I knew there were stairs up inside the warehouse, but to get in and go after him, I'd have to go through the door on my right. Since the door faced the alley that branched off to the left, I'd be exposing my back to whoever was in the alley as soon as I went for the door. I headed for the door, turning left as soon as I cleared the wall and could see down the alley just in case someone was hiding there, too.
Turns out, there were three guys there, all behind crates, rifles pointed in my direction. Also, I didn't realize it at the time, but everyone else on my team was dead, and these 3 enemies and the one in the second floor of the warehouse were all that was left of the enemy team, who had only lost 2 people taking out my 5 allies. Another shot rang out behind me; obviously the amateur sniper had returned to the second floor window and was shooting at me too. Facing 3 rifles in an open alley and an enemy behind, all behind cover, well... if that was real life I'd probably have surrendered then and there. Pretty hopeless, right?
SITUATION (2): Near the end of the war, Germany had been developing V2 rockets, the precursors to our modern ICBM's. This map was a V2 rocket facility, complete with large multi-tiered building and a courtyard with a rocket pad. The goal of the map was to fight your way through the building, enter the courtyard, and blow up not only the rocket, but the control room as well. Unfortunately the courtyard was extremely open, and to get to either the control room OR the rocket, you had to enter the courtyard and then go back into the building from another door. I was on the Allies side. We'd played this map 4 times already (out of 5) and my side had lost every time, because the Allies spawned at the entrance to the building, had to come out one of 2 or 3 doors into the courtyard, and the Axis players all spawned in the courtyard. From there, it was a simple matter for them to set up behind the nearest crate or barrel, aim at one of the doors, and fire a shot the minute the door opened, likely killing anyone coming through while staying almost completely behind cover. The Axis team was using this completely to their advantage, not bothering to go into the building at all for the most part, just waiting for us to open a door and get shot. It was working perfectly for them, so well that everyone on my team was complaining about it, saying how unfair it was, even though it was just good use of cover. No matter how quickly we ran through the building, no matter how many of us poured through those doors, we died in threes, four and five at a time, because the quickest (quickest meaning, the Axis had less time to get ready for us, we hoped) way through that building was a long narrow corridor, and there was no place to hide in that corridor once the door was open. So if all 6 of us ran down the hall and the one in front opened the door, we all died from an immediate hail of rifle fire before we could even get our bearings, let alone see any Axis players shooting from covered positions.
To make matters worse, this 5th round on this map, i spawned in an unfamiliar location, and got totally lost in the bowels of the building while I saw the text flash up on the screen that all my team had been slaughtered just like in each of the 4 other rounds on this map. Lost in an enemy building, facing 6 well trained Axis snipers, alone, and I have to not only destroy the control room, but destroy the rocket as well, in order to win. Well, even in the game, i was despairing of ever surviving. I knew the minute I even found my way to one of the doors, I'd get shot. There was no hope. Even worse, the V2 rocket was on countdown to launch, so I couldn't even wait in a corner for them to come to me. I would somehow have to bring the fight to them, or the Axis would win by default when the allotted time expired and the rocket launched. Good god, man! What drama! :-o
How could I possibly have survived these situations, without cheating, you ask? Well, let me tell you! :-D
SOLUTION (1): Facing 3 rifles in an open alley, an enemy sniper in the second floor window above and behind me, I knew a frontal assault was suicide. Cowards may die a thousand deaths, but at least they get to live another day! I fired off a shot at one of the three enemies facing me to give them something to think about instead of killing me. Just to illustrate how good those crates were as cover, I hit one of the crates, my bullet not coming anywhere near hitting one of the enemy. I turned to run, reloading as I went. I brought my rifle up as I neared the door, somehow not having three holes already in my back (how, I have no idea) and took another shot at the guy in the second floor window, which of course, hit the window sill again. In any case, just as i reached the door, I saw him leap clear out of the window, but I didn't wait to see where he landed. I was already through the door and moving to the right, where the stairs were up to the second floor, and there was a back way out of the warehouse.
Then... I stopped dead. The alleyway outside the warehouse WAS an excellent spot for an ambush, but having failed to kill me there, they would all have to come through the door I just went through in order to catch me. Unless, of course, they decided to go all the way around the warehouse and catch me coming out the back door, but that seemed unlikely. They'd all just seen me run like a scared rabbit (which, i had done), and they were going to give chase, i was sure. In any case, the door they'd all just seen me go through was right in front of them. And the room just inside the warehouse was perfect... To spring my OWN ambush! :-D
I spun about 180 degrees and faced the open doorway. i was far enough to the right of the door that shots fired through the door had no chance of hitting me, but anyone coming through the door would have to turn right to fire at me. I aimed right about the spot a head would be, if anyone came barreling through the door, and waited. It felt like an eternity, during which time I was worried they WOULD come around and get me from behind, but it was probably only a couple seconds before the first of them came through the door. The first one was probably the one who had jumped from the second floor window, since he would have been closest. His head moved into my cross-hairs, I fired, and he dropped. I reloaded, knowing if anyone came through the door now, i was a goner. They'd have plenty of time to turn and fire at me before I myself was ready to fire. And then I was reloaded, aimed again about head height, and then all three of the ones from the alley seemed to pour through the door at once. The first head of this group entered my sights and I fired, dropping him, my second kill of the round. The second man through the door must have thought I was long gone, because he ran so fast he was almost past me while I was trying to reload. I had no choice. Mid-reload, unable to fire yet, I turned and bashed him as he went by. He fell at my feet.
Bashing, unfortunately, stops the reloading process. I had to start all over again. The fourth and final enemy, standing in the doorway, raised his rifle (i would swear he smiled) and fired. I'm not sure whether the sight of all three of his buddies laying on the floor rattled him, throwing off his aim, or he was aiming at lady luck sitting on my shoulder, because he missed me completely. I reloaded, taking all the time in the world, knowing he'd never be able to chamber a round and fire before I had a chance to fire again. I aimed carefully and shot him in the face. The round ended with startled cries of "WTF?!?!" from the enemy team. I'd just killed 4 of them in about ten to 12 seconds without suffering a single wound. I might be a scared little rabbit, but I was a scared little rabbit with a rifle and an almost-perfect AMBUSH! :-D
SOLUTION (2): Lost in the bowels of the V2 rocket facility, I came to a door I thought was the way to the courtyard. I figured what the hell, there's no way to win this round anyway. So i opened it, waiting for the bullets. Nothing. It was a little room with the bottom of a staircase in it. Still lost, I went up the stairs, what must have been 3 flights worth, and came to a room with another door. This one did lead out to the courtyard, but to an upper catwalk, not the ground floor. I stayed in the room inside the facility and opened the door, staying low, waiting for the first bullet. No shots rang out. What? Could this be the only unguarded doorway into the courtyard? Inconceivable!
After a few seconds, the door automatically swung shut again. I opened it again and sure enough, a bullet ricocheted off the catwalk railing, making a distinctive bullet-on-metal ringing noise. I used the 3 second reload time to my advantage, bolting through the door and turned left, running along the catwalk. Nazis were everywhere. Bullets rang off the metal catwalk and thunked into the concrete wall all around me. There was a door at the end of the catwalk straight ahead that led towards the control room, but before I could get there, another of the doors that led into the Allied spawn area flew open in front of me. All my allies long dead, this must have been an Axis soldier gone scouting for me inside the building. He ran out onto the catwalk, moving right into my cross-hairs as I was running for the door in front of me. I shot him down without even slowing. My first kill. 5 to go.
I burst through the door and turned right, heading for the control room. There was a side door here, one straight ahead leading to the control room and another to my left with a storage room. The perfect hiding spot. Not for me, of course, but for the enemy, since hiding did not help me at all. I opened the door, fired off a round to keep everyone under cover, and tossed my only grenade. It exploded. I must have killed one of them with that grenade, because the other one ran out. He was injured and my shot, that would have ordinarily winged him because my aim was off, killed him. I checked the room again, and it was clear. On to the control room! To describe the action in the control room would be like describing a particularly bad shooting scene in a comedy movie. The one enemy and I were on each side of a table that was partially clear underneath, so we could see each other through the various bits of machinery stored under it, but because of the way the game worked, we couldn't shoot under the table, only over. So one of us would pop up, fire over the table, duck down. Then the other would do the same, and we'd take turns. When I moved around the table to get a better shot, he moved to keep the table between us, and vice-versa. There was a moment there where I thought the time would run down with us still doing that, but i faked a pop-up, not firing, and when he popped up to shoot, I shot him down. And when I set the explosives to destroy the control room, I went through the far door and waited, because I knew.
See, it takes a goodly amount of time for the timer set on the explosives to destroy the control room, allowing the enemy plenty of time to disarm them before they blow. Therefore, you have to stick around and guard them, otherwise there's no point. Of course, you can't stick around too long or you go up with the explosion, and the countdown is obvious to everyone on both sides. So of course the minute I set it, they all rushed the control room to blow me up and disarm the explosives. Although, actually just blowing me up would have done it, since Iw as the only one left. As soon as I cleared out of the room and shut the door behind me, explosions rocked the little control room. Oh not the timed explosives, you see. They'd lobbed grenades in through the door and open window to kill me. Since I was out of the room at the time, I lived, but I was still close enough to check the room if someone came to disarm the explosives I'd set.
Timing was everything at this point. I couldn't see into the room, so if I opened the door and someone was in there looking for me, he'd shoot me and it was over. If I left the room and they disarmed the timer, it was over. I waited right by the door, and just as I was about to check the control room again, it swung open. Luckily since I was so close to it, it swung me with it, shoving me between the wall and the door. I saw a rifle barrel looking towards the stairs I would need to take to get down to the courtyard, but apparently the guy didn't see me behind the door, because the rifle disappeared and the door automatically swung shut. He must have thought I went down to destroy the rocket already. I faced the door again, crouched down, waited as long as I dared, then opened it. Yep, there was enemy number 5, trying to disarm the explosives, completely oblivious. I shot him in the side of the head, stopping him from disarming them, and shut the door. The control room exploded as my timed satchel charge blew it apart.
Now for the rocket! I headed down the stairs. This was the moment of truth. I was at the door to the courtyard, one enemy left between me and the rocket. I had to go out to the courtyard, putting myself in the open, to get to him and the rocket. There was not only half a courtyard to navigate, but a long catwalk that led down to the launch pad. I had to get right under the rocket to set the explosives, and he was most likely set up behind cover and waiting for me. I popped open the door, but didn't go out. A shot rang out. The door swung shut before I could go out. I opened it again... and no shot. This was a smart one. He was waiting for me to stick my head out. The door swung shut again. I opened it a third time, poked my head out, darted back, the shot hit the wall and I bolted. There were probably 3 crates, 4 barrels and an oil slick between me and him, as well as the full length of the courtyard. He was hiding behind a crate at the far end, ducked down so far behind it all I could see was the rifle barrel. I dare not try the catwalk down into the launch pad without taking him out first, so it was a zig-zaggy, jumping, crouching down run across an open courtyard, firing and reloading constantly while his shots somehow kept missing me, and my shots kept hitting nothing but crate. Finally, by some miracle of physics or nudge by a flying spaghetti monster, I made it to his crate. unable to put me down the old fashioned way, he stood up and at nearly point blank range, we circled, moved, ducked and fired, each trying to put the other down. Honestly once I cleared the crate, he probably only managed to get off two shots. The first he missed with, but I also missed my shot, and as I was reloading I tried a bash. Missed completely, but his follow-up shot wounded me severely. His aim must have been off and luckily I had full health before that (not having been wounded once until this point), otherwise the game would have ended there. I stopped trying to bash since I really was not very good at it, and just shot him down with my next round. Then it was a simple matter of waltzing easily down to the rocket, setting the explosives, and waiting for the detonation of the satchel charge to ensure my victory. Why yes, I was grinning like an idiot the whole time, how did you know? :-)
There you have it. All hope of victory lost, fleeing in fear, expecting a bullet through the head at any minute, wandering around lost and alone, and STILL I managed to not only win, but KICK MAJOR ASS. I am sure everyone has certain of these moments in their lifetimes, moments of complete and utter WIN in the face of impossible odds, and whenever you have moments of fear or doubt, why, just remember... You've done it before. You can do it again.
Or if you haven't, I have, and you too, can learn my methods, for only $300 US! lol I am kidding, I'm not selling any self-help books. Not this week, anyway. ;-)
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