Nothing like the smell of horror in the morning, I always say!
Actually, that's the first time I've ever said that, but feel free to quote me if you like.
Tonight's review series starts with CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON! This is classic 1950's horror at it's finest. A geologist looking for fossils along the amazon river unearths the fossilized claw of some semi-humanoid aquatic creature. Believing it to be an unknown species of ancient amphibian, the geologist seeks assistance from his marine biologist friends at the local university. The head of the department, seeking funds for the college and research grants, immediately funds an expedition along the amazon river to unearth further clues as to the whereabouts of the rest of the fossilized remains. Needless to say at this point, the secluded lagoon at the end of the small tributary the research expedition finds itself on ends in terror as they realize that the fossilized remains are of a creature still living in the deep dark depths of the Black Lagoon!
This movie spawned two sequels, i believe? The second of which has a lab technician named Jennings (a young Clint Eastwood) in a short appearance. The original was in black and white, and has tons of atmosphere. It's not particularly creepy or scary but if you're looking for suspenseful monster horror with a beautiful amazonian backdrop, this is it!
Review #11 - GHOST RIDER! I may have already reviewed this movie, and you may not think of it as a horror flick, but it has all the classic elements. Peter Fonda is Mephistopheles, who the lead character makes a deal with to save his father's life. Unfortunately, as most deals with the devil, it does not end well for Johnny Blaze, who is called upon years later to fulfill his bargain and become the Ghost Rider, the devil's bounty hunter. Unfortunately, his bounty is none other than the unruly son of Mephistopheles, an upstart demon named Blackheart, who is seeking the unholy contract for the 1500 souls of the entire corrupt town of San Benganza to maximize his power and allow him to overthrow his father's rule.
Most people didn't like this movie, and I think the obvious reason is the casting of Nicholas cage as the lead character. Not even the entire supporting cast could really help out on this one, with Eva Mendes as the love interest, Peter Fonda and Sam Elliot rounding things out. Still, you've got demonic possession, the devil himself, contracts for souls, battles between demons, hell, an entire goddamn town so evil that all 1500 people in it sold their souls to the devil! How can that not be a horror movie? Unfortunately for the ghost rider series, Nicholas Cage has already committed himself to a sequel.
Review #12 - SLITHER! This movie feels like an homage to The Slime. A meteorite lands on earth, and a bit of a lout about to cheat on his wife is infected with an alien parasite. Unfortunately, the alien parasite never counted on human emotions, and the guy it infests is still deeply in love with his wife. Unfortunately, as the parasite spreads to the townsfolk, alive or dead, they all become one with the merged consciousness of the parasite/lout who was first infected, and now the wife has to not only deal with the mutated remains of her husband, but an entire town of parasite-controlled zombies who feel that she is now cheating on him for not sticking by him in his difficult time of... erm.. transformation. Hey, in sickness and in health, right?
I thought this movie was pretty awesome. You've got Nathan Fillon as the sheriff, a cast full of character actors, and Michael Rooker as the villain! You can't go wrong here. I even watched it on Syfy again recently, which cut out the nudity (if there was any?) and the swearing, and it was still fun to watch. Definitely a popcorn-muncher, and probably didn't do exceptionally well because it's a solid B-monster movie, but I think you get your money's worth with this one, and as someone who's been out of work almost 6 months now, that means a lot!
Review #13 - BITTEN! You'd think they'd done vampire movies to death, but no! No. Sadly, no. Still, every once in a while there's a decent one that comes out, and while this isn't one of them, I could put up with it long enough to finish watching it. So you got your basic night-shift, overworked Emergency Medical Technician guy who just got dumped by his girlfriend. His partner, an older, balding medic with IBS, tells him to go home and get some sleep one night, and he runs into a blood soaked corpse in his back alley who turns out not to be a corpse, but a recently attacked victim of a vampire. Who then, of course, proceeds to require a regular blood supply to stay alive.
I liked this movie in the sense that, the fact that the EMT guy's new girlfriend is a vampire almost seems to be coincidental. I'm not sure who wrote the script, but without doubt, it was somebody who went through a bad breakup and doesn't like women much. Basically, as he's nursing her back to health, and within the course of days, their relationship goes from hot sex, to cajoling, to demanding, and finally to argumentative, psycho breakup by the end. Much like my last ... well, every girlfriend I've ever had. And no, i did not write this movie, and I am not bitter! lol I wasn't really fond of the end of this movie, and it could have been done better, but the rest of it was sort of funny, if you've never been in a relationship, or perhaps more so if you have, and can sympathize.
Review #14 - THE FOG! This is the original, 1980 version. I reviewed the remake a few years back when it came out, and compared it unfavorably to the original, which I will now review, just in case I haven't done so already. A hundred years ago, the founders of Antonio Bay lured a boatload of rich leper-pirates to their death to steal their gold in order to fund the church and the town. Now, on the eve of the anniversary of the town's founding, a spooky fog rolls into the bay and a trio of liquored-up fishermen on the Seagrass are the first victims, but certainly won't be the last.
This has to be one of the creepiest goddamn movies I ever seen. Rich, if you want something scary, try this one. From the short little "ghost story" narrated by John Houseman at the beginning, through the sunniest and creepiest day in one of the most beautiful seaside towns i have ever seen, to the following evening's climactic events, this movie just oozes creepiness and atmosphere. Much like my nephew tim's arse. Only less smelly. There's Hal Holbrook as the town priest, Janet Leigh as the event coordinator, and her real life daughter, Jamie Lee Curtis, as the poor girl who comes to town at a bad time. Seriously, the events that happen in broad daylight on the day of the 100th anniversary are almost more scary. Just the scenes of Adrienne Barbeau on her way to work are terrifying, because while they show the town and surrounding countryside, including some beautiful ocean views, they build the suspense into a torrent of dread because you know all hell is going to break loose once night falls. And again, suspense trumps shock and gore every time.
Okay, I'm a bit horror'd out for tonight. I'm watching another one right now, but I'm not sure it's good enough for a review. More reviews next time!
No comments:
Post a Comment