Daylight Savings Time MY ASS

So twice a year, we Americans have the distinct pleasure of partaking in a wonderfully joyous program known as Daylight Savings Time, whereby we magically make our days longer and our nights shorter so that we need to use less electricity! It's been a whole week now since we changed our clocks here, and we all just love it so much, there's nothing quite like the experience!

Like my buddy Rich would say... Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

So, I've been a zombie since the time change. I've been tired every day, gone to bed early every night, and been tired waking up every morning since then. We lose an hour of sleep every spring, and every fall we get an extra hour of sleep one night. Sure, it doesn't sound like a lot, but let's look at the numbers more closely, shall we?

First, a brief history of DST. Apparently, it was started decades ago as a way to "let us save electricity by keeping our lights off longer at night by using natural light instead of electric light." What these geniuses failed to comprehend is that, if you start your day at sunrise at 6 am, and suddenly, the sun doesn't come up for an hour later, you still need to turn on your damn lights. Yes, it not only stands up to logic, but numerous studies have confirmed no tangible or intangible benefits and no net savings of electric power since some idiot politician started the whole thing. And yet, we continue to do it every year. For the same reason.

Now, let's look at the drawbacks.

Our biorhythms, aside from being finely tuned to our environment, really fucking hate change. Seriously. Like, psycho-woman-having-PMS-mood-swings kind of hate. So while just about everyone is affected to some degree, some take it more harshly than others. I mean, it's basically giving everyone jet lag, and as everyone knows who has had jet lag, you are fucked up for at least a few days after that. Tired, worn out, messed up, and half incoherent til your body recovers.

A recent study on flight attendants, who regularly deal with jet lag, has shown extensive (possibly permanent) BRAIN DAMAGE from the frequent interruptions to their biorhythms. It's generally mild, sure, and these individuals continue to function as useful members of society in most cases... if you can call FORGETTING TO BRING ME MY FUCKING PEANUTS FOR FOUR GODDAMN HOURS continuing to function. And I'm sure any of us who have flown know how "competent" flight attendants can be. Your results may vary. But generally, the brain damage the study showed was equivalent to mild retardation in the most heavily affected.

And it's not even just a lack of sleep for one night we have to deal with. It's at least a few days, and in some cases, weeks before we adequately recover our lost sleep due to the interruption of our natural biorhythmic cycle. As I said, it's been eight days for me and I am still suffering from it. If I heard my radio correctly last monday morning, we had a record number of traffic accidents the morning after DST started this year. And that was on a SUNDAY. And there was no snow where i was.

Also, recent studies have also shown that not only do the suicide rates go up in the few weeks following a time change, but the heart-attack and stroke-related deaths go up as well. Yea, the biorhythm changes our body is hit with just CAN'T HANDLE THAT SHIT. It kills people, not just from accidents, but from heart attacks and strokes.

Now keep in mind, when we ALL have to change our clocks around, TWICE a year, we are ALL being affected by this retardation-inducing jet lag thing. Not just flight attendants... Doctors, lawyers, politicians, yea, you know, EVERYONE.

So let's see, you're driving around the day after daylight savings change and you have an accident because the guy behind you smashed into you from sleep deprivation. Then you are taken to a hospital where the jet-lagged nurses can't figure out what to do with your barely alive body. The doctor who operates on you is now a retard from having been sleep-deprived for weeks before the time change, and should you survive his clumsy efforts, you will probably be killed in your sleep by being mis-medicated by a too-sleepy nurse.

DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME KILLS PEOPLE. Isn't it about time we stopped the madness?

I'm pretty sure it's also responsible for our rising obesity levels, general insanity, type 2 diabetes and corrupt politicians. I'm not sure how exactly it's responsible for those things. But I WILL FIND OUT.