October 1st - Legion

When faced with such a "legion" of horror movies to choose from, it's not easy making the first choice. I was trying to find something new, so I paged through my on-demand listings from the legion of premium channels I pay for. The only one with a choice of aptly-titled "Halloween" movies was Starz on demand. I tried several titles but it said they weren't available yet. Well, it offerred Darkness Falls, and since I had been watching that movie since LAST Halloween, I figured eh, well, i've seen it, but it's probably a good choice for the first title. Darkness Falls indeed, a suitably creepy opening for the first review, no? But alas, even Darkness Falls appeared not to be available. Sure, I could have reviewed it easily since I had seen the movie enough times to know it by heart, however, I didn't think it fair to write a review for a movie without actually watching it first. Plus, isn't that the point of doing a review for a movie every day this month? To watch and enjoy the horror? So instead, I was forced to turn to my library of DVD's.

In honor of the new month, I chose a movie that was new to me. Legion, of course, if you haven't already guessed by the title of this post. This movie came out, oh, I think it was last year or perhaps the year previous. I honestly didn't expect to like this movie. Dennis Quaid, while being a fine actor, generally doesn't star in the movies I typically like, despite his role in the sci-fi horror flick Pandorum (a movie I reviewed months ago). Also, movies with christian/religious themes typically don't sit well with me. Not because I am particularly religious, but quite the contrary. I see religious movies generally trying to further the fanatic dogma that has caused world wars, terrorist bombings and crusades in the past, and I prefer not to be a part of such tripe.

However, I was pleasantly surprised by this film. A quick action sequence to get my attention was quickly followed by a brief intoduction of the main characters. Like any good movie, this movie gives a good background and setting to work from, in this case, a diner and small group of trailers on the edge of the mohave desert. The characters were suitable for the location, a bunch of worn out, tired people who get caught up in events beyond their understanding. There isn't much time to get acquainted with them, however, as the events of the introductory sequence begin to show themselves.

SPOILER ALERT

Basically, what's going on in this movie is that God got tired of the bullshit and decided to kill all humanity. Yea, you're wondering why he didn't do it years ago. Perhaps Ex-President Bush tipped the scales in favor of wiping us all out, who knows. In any case, God's sending all the angels to take over the weak-willed amongst us and then swarm and kill the strong-willed, thus pretty muich wiping out all humanity in one big bad bloodbath. Why not use demons, you ask? Who knows, maybe Lucifer was doing another movie somewhere else, or the movie was low-budget and angels were cheaper. I'd heard Lucifer was getting really expensive the last few years, it's possible he just got tired of all those years of showing up at kid's birthday parties and bar mitsvahs and is getting drunk and high in a van down under the bridge by the river. Not the best way to go through life, or so I've heard.

In any case, the weak-willed are possessed in droves by angels and, well, they pretty much behave like demons anyway. Walking up walls, joints twisting at odd angles, pointy teeth, swearing, ripping people's throats out, you know, standard mindless demonic fare. So then you've got these people hanging out at this diner, and they kill some angel-possessed old grandma, and while she wasn't as saucy or memorable as Betty White in Lake Placid, she did manage to cause some havoc. Then Michael shows up. You know, the Archangel. Yea, he looks pretty normal, he's basically cut off his own wings in protest against what god commanded him to do, told god to stuff it up his bollocks, and came down to protect the very baby he was ordered to kill. I'm not really sure why this particular baby is so important, maybe it's another one of those prophet/savior/goody-two-shoes types, but yea, there it is. So the demons, er, sorry, angel-possessed-people start showing up in droves and Michael hands out automatic weapons and everyone starts unloading hot lead on the freaky-looking detritus of society. I won't give away the ending, but let's just say there's a pretty cool melee battle between Michael and the bad guys and some of the people in the diner even survive, shockingly.

SPOILERS ENDED

Aside from the religious theme of this movie, it works pretty well. Most of the actors are either unknowns (to me anyway), or good enough at their craft to blend in perfectly with the setting. Actually, come to think of it, most of the supporting cast are people I've seen in other stuff, but it in no way detracts from the action going on. At one point, everything seemed to slow down long enough for Michael to explain everything going on in the movie, and then the mayhem started right back up again, leading to a pretty decent ending that I did kind of expect, but wasn't any less satisfying because of it.

Unlike most religiously themed movies, this movie didn't seem to want to immerse you in the fanaticism, or indoctrinate you in the myth surrounding it. Much like Clash of the Titans (the old version, I haven't seen the new one yet), it uses the mythology around Christianity to set the theme, and then works within those guidelines to tell a good tale. At no point does it seem preachy and even Archangel Michael sounds like he's pissed off at what god's doing, so at no point did I become uncomfortable with this movie. Plus, I think the actor who played Archangel Gabriel did an excellent job as well, and he wielded a wicked mace, too. lol I wouldn't exactly call this movie fine art, but as far as horror movies go, this one a decent watch. Would I watch it again? Eh, maybe, maybe not. If it had nudity, maybe, but unfortunately, it does not.

Well, that's all I got for the first review. AMC is currently running a bunch of Dracula movies made by the Hammer film studios back in the 50's and 60's (some of my personal favorites), so until tomorrow, enjoy the rest of the scariest month of the year! :-)

Besides April and tax season, of course.