Mondays

You know I never really listened to that whole theory about mondays being the worst days of the week. Usually, I get up fairly well rested, if not entirely ready for the first day of my work week, at least prepared emotionally to handle the obscene amount of work that I'll have to do, and to bear the crushing weight of stress and confusion that assaults me at my job.

Yes, I only work 5 hours a day.

But that's not the point. My point is, yesterday was pretty bad. I get to work late, first off, because school is now back in session and there's buses all over and people get SO upset when you run over a kid. I mean, sure, it's not only socially disconcerting, but legally, it's bad, too. Which just sucks, I mean, they're small little buggers! You can barely see them over the hood of the car sometimes, especially when they are hanging onto your grillwork trying not to fall under the car as you plow through the crosswalk doing 75. How the hell can people hold it against you if a few of them end up stuck in your front bumper? People make mistakes, you know!

So then, I get to work and we are SWAMPED. Literally swamped with calls, and on top of that, they are STOOPID. That's stoopid with TWO O's. Count em. TWO. And there's not even supposed to be one O in stupid, so that just gives you an idea of how bad it was. I got a woman who doesn't know her home phone number because she never calls herself. I got a guy who can't connect to his own business network and blames us because he can't get his work email. And then, fun of funs, I peed myself.

Yea, it's happened before, I know, even at work, but dammit, I just hate it when my bad aim means I have to walk around with wet spots on my jeans. I know, I know, it's one thing when I see a hot babe and BAM there's stains in my underwear, but I didn't even see a hot babe this time, I was just trying to use the damn urinal and next thing I know, OOPSIE I missed. Hey, shit happens, or in this case, piss happens. Not like anyone noticed, at least, no one even spoke to me yesterday at work, we were so busy. And NO, i did NOT fall asleep at the urinal again. That only happened that one time and I am sick of hearing about it, dammit.

But, today is better. Except for the weather. Sure, it's a bit sunnier, but what the fuck, it's like 60 out. I know, you're going, 60 in Buffalo NY in the fall isn't bad, well FUCK YOU. It's still goddamn summer. Fall doesn't start until the 21st, and I'm not done with summer yet.

Here's how my summer went: June, 60 degrees tops. cold and windy. July, Hot, 90's, camping trip. August, Hot, 90's for two weeks. Then, back into the 60's. Yep. Third week in august, when I took off work to enjoy the heat... 60's. Well, HA HA mother nature, you fickle ho. Very fuckin funny. If you were a real woman I'd spank you for shit like that. And now we can't even get out of the 50's or maybe low 60's. Since the second week in AUGUST. AUGUST!! You know, the goddamn dog days of august? When it's usually so hot you can't see straight? WHAT THE HELL!!!!!! Six weeks of goddamn summer is NOT ENOUGH.

Everyone's saying it's going to be a bad winter. There's some el nina or la nno's pizza shit going on with the weather so that means lots of snow or something here, and like toads falling from the sky in europe or something, but here's my prediction. If all the weather guys say it's going to be cold and snowy, I predict dry and hot. Because I know how accurate those guys are. Sure, I know meteorology isn't an exact science, but if I was wrong that often I'd get put in jail, much less fired from my job. I mean, how much effort does it take to stand in front of a map of the US and go "There's some cold and windy shit flowing down from canada. Probably won't hit us here in florida, though. hyuk hyuk!" Well, is that right? The guy's a genius! And when it does, all he's got to say is "Well, it came down farther than we thought." And he STILL HAS A JOB. I suppose they have to, though, I mean, if you fired everyone who was bad at predicting the weather, we wouldn't HAVE weather people. So there's my prediction, DRY and HOT winter. Maybe I can still work on my tan in december this year, because this september cold spell shit just isn't cutting it for me.

And what the fuck is up with my nose??? Goddamn allergies! I can't BREATHE, DAMMIT! GAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!