Happy Town

So I got to watch the premiere of Happy Town on ABC last night.

If you've DVR'd it, I won't give away any real details, or try not to, anyway, but I liked the show, so I may gush a bit. And i'm not even talking about typing, I just pissed myself I was so excited. Just now, yea. No, I can change later; I am at work now and they frown when I remove my pants on the job. Trust me, it's happened before.

Anyway, Happy Town is about Haplin, a small town in... somewhere. I forget what state. It's cold there. The series starts with some ice fisherman getting spiked in an ice-fishing shack on the frozen lake, so let's just say it must be like, maine or somewhere in the northeast or something. Anyway, this town is like any old small town, but it's doing well, there's a bread factory and more than just one main street, and HOLY FUCK IT HAS SAM NEILL IN IT.

Yea, holy shit, Sam Neill. If you don't know who that is, look him up on IMDB.com, because he was in a few horror flicks, and I think he's an awesome actor. He may have done some other, non-horror flicks, but i don't watch those so I couldn't say. I don't love him enough to watch him in non-horror flicks. I mean, I love Milla Jovovich and I tried to watch her in non-horror, and I really couldn't manage it. I'd still impregnate her in a new york minute, though. Shit, the impregnating part wouldn't even take a full minute.

So anyway, this girl arrives in this small town and goes to a boarding house, and I guess this series is basically going to follow the happenings from the police dept's point of view, because most of the characters introduced so far are police or the policemen's families. I can't think of anyone else that got mentioned except for this new woman who arrives in town, and frankly, by the end of the first episode, it is patently obvious why they show the new girl and sam neill and focus on their characters a bit.

Just as an aside here, this new girl is totally the cutest chick I have ever seen in the last week or so. Cuter than a naked milla jovovich. Not as hot as a naked milla, but yes, cuter, even. I could go on about how I want her to do full nude scenes in the next episode of the show, but come on. That'd be belaboring the obvious at this point. I don't even know who the actress is but when I get the energy, I am going to look her up on IMDB.com, find her twitter page and cyber stalk her until she agrees to become my bride or gets a restraining order against me. lol

Okay, so the series starts with murder and by the end of the first episode, you have a fair idea of who the bad guys are, you know it's not going to be just a murder mystery, and it seems totally fucking horrific. I am loving it. I'd bend it over and fuck it up the ass I love it so much, but they haven't invented the means for me to do that to a show yet. When they do, I am anally raping that bitch. The show. Not the cute starlet. The cute starlet I will just let seduce me because I am way too hot for her not to fall in love with. It's a foregone conclusion.

Nice part about this series, there are some unanswered questions, but it's not for lack of information. Like I said, they introduce what appears to be both the bad guys and the good guys right in the first goddamn episode, and things are already happening fast to let you know what's going on. The only questions I have now are how the shown characters will interact in the future, what role they will play in the coming conflict, and how the hell I can wait til next week to see the next episode. They should have a new episode EVERY HOUR until my eyes are bleeding from watching too much TV, I pass out from lack of sleep, or I orgasm from watching the cute chick too much. I don't think I'd enjoy the eye bleeding part of that, but the orgasm thing could happen at any second. Mostly from thinking about the hot chick's shower scene.

Yea it was very brief and they didn't show anything, but mr tiny practically shot out of my pants he got hard so fast. I was like OOOOOOH SHOWER SC- and just like that she had her full-length robe on and was out of the bathroom. Fucking network TV censors. What the hell ever happened to shows like 7 Days, that featured full rear nudity on UPN? COME ON ABC!!!! GET WITH THE PROGRAM!!!! I LIKE FEMALE NUDITY DAMMIT!!!!

In other news, I have decided SyFy sucks ass. They are bringing wrestling on friday nights. What. The. Hell. At this point, the only programming they have left that I watch are saturday afternoon cheapo monster movies, and I may boycott those just because SyFy are MORONS. Most of the movies suck anyway. Once I get to see Mega-Piranha, or whatever the movie is called about giant piranha, I am just going to mentally ignore syfy. It'll become the lifetime network of cable channels, where dead things go to rot.