Celebrity Death Effect

I want to talk about my frightening effect on celebrity deaths.

Now, let me explain, I ain't no doctor, I'm no hairdresser to the stars, I just work tech support in a relatively obscure little internet provider. I'm not in any way directly related to the celebrity deaths I am about to mention, and yet... IT'S JUST FREAKY.

I first noticed it when I took a week off to go camping either last year, or maybe the year previous. Whenever George Carlin died. I was a big fan of George, in fact, i had just seen his last comedy special on HBO like the month before I went camping. But while I was away, of course, there was no internet connection, no news, no TV. So, I get back, and I'm getting back in the swing of things, and by this time, the news media have stopped covering his death, so it was like, weeks before I found out. I was sad, of course, george was funny, a bit political, but still funny.

Then came, oh, I think it was bernie mac, somewhere around christmas. I'd taken a week off to enjoy my new games. When I came back, he was dead. The pattern continued. I think i had a cold the day farrah fawcett and Michael jackson died. Last week, I missed wednesday due to a bad cold. Corey Haim died. Sundays, I don't work. Peter graves died. Now I can't think of anyone who's died recently when I haven't been off of work. I almost began to wonder if I had a secret personality that was a celebrity assassin, and my memories of being ill were just a psychotropically induced cover for my assassination trips to hollywood, but, that's just crazy. One, I'm not that evil, two, I'm not that skilled, and three, I don't even know how to book a plane. Flying scareses me.

So, i miss work, and some celebrity dies. I'm almost scared to take off. Screw not getting paid for the day, I'm KILLING SOME POOR SCHLEP WHO'S JUST TRYING TO MAKE A MOVIE. I almost feel bad, just for missing a day. I wonder, WHO WILL BE NEXT?!?!?!? :-o So I am either indirectly the cause of celebs dying... OR, I just take too many days off work. Could be the latter. Eh, forget I mentioned it, I think I'm just freakin insane.

I'm part Irish and it's st patty's day, wheeeeee! I would go home and watch Darby O'Gill and the Little People, if I could. Disney usually plays it around this time of year, but I haven't seen it in a while, so I don't know. Either that, or watch the Leprechaun series of horror movies with warwick davis, I believe it was? I like to watch holiday-themed movies around the holidays that inspire them. Like on Friday the 13th, I'll watch the friday the 13th movies, and if I could ever find it on DVD, I'd watch saturday the 14th the day after (It's a bit of a comedy, but still a decent monster flick). This coming halloween I plan to watch Trick r' Treat, with anna paquin in it, a little known, apparently direct to dvd release of 4 interrelated halloween tales, but it's a good one that people missed, I guess. Shit anything with anna paquin in it is good. Except The Piano. I tried to watch that shit and it was unbearable except for the nude scenes with holly hunter. NO MONSTERS AT ALL. Wtf.

Darby O Gill, now, just to let you know, is a favorite of when I was like, 4 years old, and my 3 older sisters persuaded me to watch musicals all the time. I expect it was some attempt on their part to make me gay, but THEY FAILED. I suspect it was like A Clockwork Orange, or whatever that movie was where they take the rapist and make him watch violent films while drugging him so he is nauseated at the very idea of violence, but only with musicals, and to this day I can't watch the sound of music without throwing up, so I pretty much just avoid watching the sound of music, and my life has turned out pretty well. Darby O Gill is a bit of a musical, but the musical numbers are few and far between, and hell, it has Sean Connery in it for crying out loud, and there's brawling, and leprechauns, and banshees, so I can forgive the few musical numbers. Plus the chick that is Sean connery's romance interest is pretty hot, too. Yes, I was a perv even when I was 4. It probably came out years after I was 4, so don't quote me on that, but still, I like to watch it every so often for the local scenery the movie uses as a backdrop for the film. Very pretty location. And did I mention there's a banshee? So don't hold the relative gayness of the movie against me, nor infer that my manhood is not large and swingin. Well, it's not swinging free right now, I mean, I'm at work, not that I'd care, but there's like, rules against that sort of thing. I think. I mean, I could check with HR, but I am pretty sure they'd at least frown at my swinging dick. Be aroused and amazed too, no doubt. Yea. But frown, yea.

Well, that's all for this edition of St Patrick's Day with meandering scribe. I need to go find me some green beer to swill. CORNED BEEF AND CABBAGE!!! OH YEA!!!!! FLATULENCE HERE I COME!!!!!!!