Friends

Okay, let me rephrase...

There are some of you out there reading this who may be upset that I said I have no friends. It's not completely true. What i meant was, I don't really have a social life. People don't call me up and say "hey, want to go out and swill beers?" Well, they used to, but after 7 or 8 years of me saying no, they got dejected and stopped asking. In some cases, they stopped talking to me altogether. lol

I am okay with that. I don't mind the odd beer-swilling event as long as it's intermixed with food-stuffing events, or even bed-breaking ones, but if it's all beer-swilling and that's the only thing we have in common, well, i'm not really a beer swilling kind of guy. I can force myself on occasion, and at times i've even been the life of the party, but beer just tends to make me sleepy, not uninhibited.

The friends I have are generally pretty loyal, pretty understanding of my rare bad moods, and enjoy sexting me pics of their boobies. I love them all dearly. My friends, too, not just their boobies. if I've offended anyone with any of my posts, I apologize, I generally only say things to be funny and entertain, and if you get regularly upset by what i post here, then why the hell are you reading this? I mean seriously, go read some alternative star trek porn, i hear captain kirk and mr spock are getting it on right now in some way or another! It's only logical.

So, don't be offended if you consider yourself my friend and I continuously insist I don't have any friends, what I mean is, I don't have annoying, clinging friends who demand i go put myself into an alcoholic coma just to hang out with them. I have buddies who like me for who and what I am, and because I can give them multiple orgasms. OH YEA BABY WE'RE GOING FOR NUMBER 14!!!!! BETTER HOLD ONTO THOSE ROPES!!!

I'd certainly love to have more of these kind of buddies, but alas, intelligent, reasonable people who have a sense of humor and a great ass are hard to find. I realize I am all those things and more, but hey, I'm like, one in 6 billion or something. if you have all these qualities and want to be my friend, I am fine with that! And hey, if you're female and want to sext me pics of your boobies, make sure you're 18+ and sext away. Come to think of it, if you're over 18 and want to sext me pics of your boobies, you don't really need to be intelligent, reasonable OR funny. But you still have to have a great ass. I mean, come on, we can't just let ALL the rules slide now, can we?

Oh, damn. I forgot, I don't have a cell phone, you can't sext me. Shit. Well, my plans are rarely without flaws. I know what you are thinking, so unlike me, who is perfect in every way, but all i can say is... It's true! lol