Sunday, July 14, 2019

Stranger Things 3, Jessica Jones 3, Spider-Verse, RotLD

It's been a busy summer, and I been meaning to post a review for a long time, so you guys are getting a bunch at once.  I'm going to keep it short, since it's a sunny day, and I am going to work on my tan as soon as I finish up here.  :-)

Let's take Jessica Jones (season 3) first.  In the Final Season of jessica Jones (available on netflix, of course), Jessica takes on a normal, every-day, human serial killer.  I would have thought super villains would be more her speed, but I guess someone has to take care of the serial killers that manage to escape justice, amirite?  Right.  Along the way, Jessica reconnects with her foster mom and sister, and there's even some side-story involving that lawyer-friend of hers.

I wasn't really thrilled with the third season of Jessica Jones.  I like Jessica Jones as a character, and dealing with a serial killer is a bit different than usual.  I also suppose they had to try to finish up with a bang, since it was the last season, but it sort of ended with a whimper instead of a bang.  I won't say the whole season was bad, since some of the things the characters went through was actually kind of cool, and I liked the dynamics of the character interaction.  Minor spoilers, I also liked the symbolic way Jessica cleaned out her detective office, and handed over the keys, to give people one last look at the office she's lived in for the past 3 seasons.  It's like giving Trekkies one last look at the Enterprise before they blow it up (again, or maybe for the last time, whenever that happens).  I didn't like the way the series ended, honestly.  More minor spoilers, I was never a fan of that purple mind-controller guy's (I'm honestly too lazy to look up his name right now, it's Sunday morning ffs) voice in Jessica's head, not even as residue of the trauma she suffered after dealing with him.  I would much have preferred seeing Jessica soaking up some sun on a beach somewhere at the end of this season, in a bikini instead of her usual jeans and leather jacket combo, retiring her uniform as well as her career as a Private Detective/superhero.  I think she finally achieved superhero status in her final season, and deserved some much-needed relaxation time.  Then again, maybe that doesn't fit her character.  All in all, I thought the final season could have used a bit more Jessica, and less of everyone else.

Spider-Man, Into the Spider-Verse (2018) was basically a Spider-Beings cross-over event in cartoon form.  There's Spider-Girl, Spider-Man, Spider-Pig, some sort of Noir 40's detective dark knight Spider-Man Bat-Man mixup, and some futuristic anime Spider-bot thing all tossed into the mix.  They are all needed to help stop Kingpin and some alternate-universe-version of Dr. Octopus from their dastardly plan to remake reality.

First, let me preface this by saying, I love cartoons.  I grew up on Spider-Man movies in the 70's (yes, there WERE spider man movies way back in the 70s, several of them), and spider-man cartoons in the 80s.  I suppose I get that people are getting tired of the old Superheroes at this point, since most of them have been around since 1940 or so, and they want to re-invent the hero's alter-egos to make them seem fresh to the newer generations, but honestly, do you have to take everything away from a hero and remake him or her completely, just to suck in young folks?  Remember your audience, nerds who grew up on comic books, or at least take a cue from NCIS, which hasn't changed it's format in like 20 years ffs.  Show us some stability in these troubled times.  Show me spider man dealing with some freakin bank robbers, ffs.  I'd LIKE some simple, character-driven stories that DON'T involve saving the entire universe for a goddamned change.  It doesn't ALWAYS have to be bigger and more explosive than the last episode, for it to be enjoyable.  But, I rant.  Moving on.

I liked into the Spider-Verse.  Pretty sure it's also on Netflix.  Funny side-note, and minor spoiler, there's a part where the young Spider-man (spider-boy?) purposely gets a zero on a true-false test to try and get kicked out of the fancy new school he was in, because he liked his old school better.  I did the same thing in high school to get out of a business class my guidance counselor wouldn't let me just drop.  Awesome stuff!  Taken right out of my own life.  Now if only I could turn invisible, that would be awesome.  Swinging from tall buildings and fighting super-villians, maybe not so much.  I'm scared of heights, and a bit of a coward. :-D

Stranger Things season 3!  In this season, a rogue team of Russians manage to crack open the portal to the other place, and something sneaks through the crack to prey on the children of Hawkins.  Can Eleven and Mike patch up their lover's quarrel before all Hell breaks loose?  Or will Will the Wise have to step in and lay down the smackething?  Will the heroes get time to play D&D again before the Summer ends?  Will Dustin ever get a girlfriend?  Check Netflix and find out!

This season of Stranger Things only has eight episodes, so it went a lot faster.  There wasn't as much character development, but it was more than enough to move the story right along.  I really enjoy how Stranger things does their monsters.  As a lifelong horror-movie / monster movie fan, I gotta say, their critters are very creative.   Sure, maybe they rely on CGI a bit too much, and don't do things old-school (with real monsters!  Come on, monster actors for monster parts!  Fair's fair!), but at least they're giving it the old college try!  Cheerio!

I've also recently found out that Season 4 of Stranger Things will be the last, so, I guess we'll probably see that drop next fall, if past premiere dates are any indication.  This season was fast-paced and fun to watch, and didn't drag on like the previous seasons, but it also felt a little rushed at times.  Hopefully they've found their groove now, and will just settle in and give us a decent enough fourth season to cap off the series.  I'm sure the young stars probably want to move on to other roles.

Oh, speaking of other roles, minor side-bar, I just read an article that the next james Bond is going to be a black woman!  I'm thrilled!  I've been saying they need to make Bond a woman for years now.  I don't recall the actress's name (mostly because I'd never heard of her before), but it's definitely a good move.  Now all they need to do is make her either bisexual or a lesbian, and they won't have to change the default script at all!  It's always (1) Someone dies (2) Bond is called in (3) Bond seduces some secretary in an evil organization and gets info (4) bad guys find out and kill secretary (5) bond destroys evil organization because he wasn't done boning the "bond girl."  I've seen it happen a dozen times already, and it just keeps getting better, every time I see it!  Of course, boning is probably not the right word in a girl-on-girl situation.  Sorry, I will try to update my archaic slang for next time.

Now, what's ROTLD, you ask?  Well, it's Return of the Living Dead (1985), of course!  I try to watch this movie every July, mostly because the events portrayed in the movie (which are ABSOLUTELY TRUE according to the blurb at the beginning, and absolutely fictitious in the credits at the end) supposedly happen on July 3rd, 1984.  That's 35 years ago, this month!  I actually was home July 3rd this year (I'm usually not), so I got the chance to re-watch this movie on the 35th anniversary of the supposedly ABSOLUTELY TRUE events portrayed therin!  You know, it's funny, I don't recall louisville Kentucky being destroyed by a nuclear morter back in 1984.  Hmmm.  Probably just a load of malarkey, then.

Return of the Living Dead is the awesomest zombie movie of all time.  Of All Time, you ask?  OF ALL TIME, I say!  I'm not even going to go into how the plot just ZIPS right along, and how there's humor and awesome character actors in every damn scene.  I'm not going to tell you how hot Linnea Quigley is in this movie, dancing naked on a stone sarcophagus.  No, I'm just going to say two words.  FAST ZOMBIES.  Yep, this is the first movie (that I know of, anyways) where zombies aren't stupid, staggering lumps of flesh that you can easily outrun.  The zombies in this movie are fast, smart, and they remember everything that they knew in life.  And shooting them in the head doesn't do jack shit.  Why?  Because they're already dead!  Duh!  This movie was an instant cult classic, and good enough to spawn several sequels right away.  Believe it or not, they were still making more sequels, a few years back.

Of course, if you want to see Return of the Living Dead, it's not on netflix.  I'm not sure where I saw it, but I watched it on July 3rd, 35 years to the day after the fictitious events in the movie!  In fact, it might have even been right at the exact same time, too!  Not that any of that makes any difference.  It's just a good movie.  I think I saw it at one of those free-to-watch movie places online.  I also have it on DVD, but I'm not sure if my DVD player still works.  I got it like 15 years ago, and I never used it.  Hmmm.  Might be time to plug that sucker in and see if it works.

Okay, you folks are all caught up on what I've been watching, so enjoy the rest of the summer!  Hopefully you'll hear from me before October. :-D

No comments:

Post a Comment

Happy Halloween!

And OHMRAT 2023 ends just as it began.  With a quiet whimper.  Sadly, I had no time this month.  Too busy trying to stay alive.  But, I did ...