Monday, October 17, 2016

#16 - Contracted (2013)

You know the fun part about trying to find things you haven't really seen before, but that might turn out to be good?  Occasionally, they really are good.  Like that one I saw the other night, the New Zealand one, The Dead Room.  You read the synopsis, you start watching it, and at the time, you have no idea whether it's going to be awesome, shite, or somewhere in between.  Most of the movies I have seen lately fall somewhere in between, but more towards the shite end of the scale.

Contracted (2013) is one I have had in my netflix queue for a while.   Something, instinct, perhaps, suggested I wait until my Halloween Horror movie Review a thon to watch it, and now I am glad I did, because this is actually a pretty decent horror flick.  Samantha is a lesbian waitress, to shoehorn her into an easy description, who is still desperately in love with her ex.  Unfortunately, Samantha and her ex, Nikki, are on a break from the relationship, is the best way to describe it.  Samantha goes to a party hosted by her friend Alice, hoping Nikki will show up, and becomes a bit depressed when Nikki doesn't.  Alice manages to get Samantha drunk, hoping something will happen (Alice is also a lesbian, and looking to hook up with Samantha).  Unfortunately for Alice, some dork named BJ sneaks in with an obviously-drugged drink, and spirits Samantha away to his car.  Samantha is raped, but awakes the next morning in her own bed, with little to no memory of the night before.  Sadly, Samantha isn't feeling all that well, and assumes she's just a bit hung over...

I don't know about you guys, but I come down with illnesses fairly frequently.  You know that feeling you get, when you're starting to feel a little under the weather, and you know you're not right, but you're not sure what's wrong yet?  Like, you have absolutely no idea, because the symptoms aren't the usual cold or flu ones?  I can't tell you guys how many times I have had that feeling, and lucky for me, it's always turned out to be just some variety of the standard colds and flu.  I often tell people I'm like a viral canary, because I'll probably be the first to go if there's ever a major outbreak of something dangerous.  So far, I have usually recovered within a week or so, with a more prudent respect for whatever invading virus or bacteria that just had its wicked wicked way with me, and get on with my life.  But do you know the feeling I am talking about?  When you're feeling sick, but you don't know why yet?

Sam has that feeling.  And having been where she is (well, sort of, I don't recall ever being raped, anyways, though i think i might have been drugged once), I immediately identified with her.  So here I am, identifying with the main character, and guess what?  Spoilers!  Turns out she's Patient Zero!  Yea, I mean, it's kind of obvious from the title and all, but I was heavily into my suspension of disbelief at that point, and I'm just going along, enjoying the movie, identifying with the main character, and I come to find that shit out!  And I'm like AAAUUGH!  And then I'm starting to feel like Charlie Brown just after Lucy has pulled the football away, and I kicked and missed, and I'm airborne, and just floating, waiting for the ground to come up and knock with wind out of me.  Well, it does.  Boy, does it!

Now, on to the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly:  No nudity, but it seems to come incredibly close on occasion.  Special effects were minimal, and remarkably effective.  Acting was decent, but I didn't recognize any of the actors except Samantha's mother.  Samantha was moderately cute, until about fifteen minutes into the movie, when the effects of the virus started to be noticeable.  I love how the movie begins the day count as she wake up after the rape, and then towards the end of the movie, lets you know exactly how many days are left!  Awesome plot device.  What could have been better about this movie?  Meh, I dunno. It seemed to work pretty well.  Maybe a bigger budget, but you know what?  There's a Contracted 2!  And I'm going to watch it on netflix tomorrow night, if at all possible.  So we get to find out what happens next!  Awesome sauce!

In other news, it's late, so I'll be quick.  Still watching Last Week Tonight with John Oliver on Sunday nights, but all he talks about is the election.  Sure, that's important, I guess, but after 2 years of the god-awful political shit-show that is our 2016 presidential election, I'm SO glad it will all be over in 3 more weeks.  Honestly, at this point, if Trump got elected and blew us all to hell on his first day, I'd probably thank him for not having to be around for the rest of his presidency.  Because after that, it'd only get worse, much like this entire election cycle.  It just keeps getting worse, and all I want is for it to be over, and to go away, and it just won't.  Why do they even bother with televised debates?  The candidates can just argue over Twitter from now on, and anyone who cares can just read their twitter feeds.  Need to know what their platform is?  Check Facebook!  Now quit splashing their pasty old faces all over my TV, and let me stick my head back into the sand, and pretend everything is going to be OK.

Until tomorrow night's Contracted 2 review, when all hell probably breaks loose.  Come on, you know it's coming.

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