Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Review - Evidence (2013)

Wheee back to my first love, horror movies!  Sure, my first love didn't exactly put out in the back seat of a Volkswagon, but if she had, I'd be dead now, because that's what happens in horror movies.

Evidence (2013) is another entry into the found-footage genre, which I have long hoped would go away, but it seems to be sticking around.  This one isn't too bad, as they involve some non-found footage in the picture, and have a reasonable excuse as to why normal people would want to watch the crap that most amateurs videotape.  At the scene of a horrific murder and fire at an abandoned garage or something, the police recover two cameras and two cell phones.  Obviously interested in what the cameras and cell phones picked up for possible evidence of the crimes (referred to as the "Unblinking Eye" by the movie's introduction), the police detectives review the footage in bits and pieces (as recovered by a technician from the damaged electronics), trying to piece together what actually happened.

I did not particularly find this movie enjoyable, but I give it props for reasonably integrating "live" and found footage together to create a fairly coherent narrative.  Also, unlike most found footage flicks, they have two veteran actors doing most of the heavy lifting.  Stephen Moyer (of True Blood fame) and Radha Mitchell (who I know as the co-pilot from Pitch Black) play a pair of detectives trying to sort through the video evidence.  Reasonable performances from them pretty much carry the whole movie, because the cast of relative unknowns who play the victims was hard to follow, what with all the "features" of found footage: crappy camera angles, bad editing, poor lighting, and dismal special effects.  I imagine they saved all their money on filming the decrepit found footage portion, and spent it on the veteran actors, which, in hindsight, wasn't a bad call.

One of my biggest problems with this movie (possible major spoiler coming, because I just don't care) is near the ending.  Okay, so let's recap.  The police recover two survivors, and a bunch of video footage, and while reviewing the footage, they think they know who committed the crimes (several times, as the movie progresses, but that shouldn't surprise you).  So here's this guy (Stephen Moyer), a detective reviewing the footage, and he gets information from one of the survivors about one of the victims, who is now dead.  He runs down to the morgue, searches the body for evidence, finds what he's looking for, and rushes back up to the video recovery room (or whatever it's called), only to find out that the person they really need to be talking to, is the survivor he just spoke to.  All this happens in the movie in about 5 minutes time.  Then he sighs, saying, "Oh, but they released them hours ago."  What?  They were just in a holding cell five minutes ago, where you talked to them.  You're telling me, while the police are still reviewing evidence, while you took like 10 minutes (and I'm stretching it) to find and review the latest info, the other police (without your okay) went behind your back, and cut loose one of the key witnesses to a horrific murder?  HOURS ago?  Nuh-uh.  Sorry.  That one, I just don't buy.  End spoiler.

Other than that, the movie wasn't godawful.  I wouldn't watch it again, but there weren't any weird monsters or aliens in it (which is what I prefer), so maybe my opinion is biased.  It wasn't horrible the first time around, and I don't want the hour-and-a-half of my life back, so I guess it wasn't entirely wasted.  The detective Stephen Moyer plays had a little side-plot about how he's just returning to the force after a sick leave (a death in his family) and I think if they had tied THAT in with the main story somehow, things would have approached a serious level of spookiness, but, they didn't (unless I missed something important).  It's just a little character background, which was kind of interesting, but went nowhere.  I guess it counts toward character development?  What do I know?  It's not like I do this for a living.

So, it's on Netflix, if you want to check it out for yourself, and leave a comment (if you feel like it) about how I am all wrong about this movie, and I should stick to my day job.  I would stick to my day job, but I don't have one.  If you're wondering why, after 5 years of unemployment, I'm still not working, I'll tell you.  I have a disability.  It causes me some serious pain a lot of the time, and it's difficult to do much of anything.  It's basically one of the reasons I took a few months off at the beginning of the year, and didn't post to my blog.  I don't want to go into specifics because they aren't relevant, but let's just say my injury requires a LOT of pain management techniques, and painkillers when (not if) those prove to be ineffective.  Typically I wouldn't even reveal that much about myself, as I am a fairly private person, but this blog is located in what I'd consider the "backwoods" of the internet.  There's not a lot of traffic, and what people do come here, aren't surprised when they run across horror.  Which is what my blog is mostly about, right?  Right!  Can't get much more horrible than crippling agony, I always say!

That's all for right now.  I have more to post later, but I wanted to do that separately, so I'll be back in a bit.

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