Friday, April 19, 2013

Real-Time Review: Man on a Ledge (2012)

I call this a real-time review, because I am watching the movie as I type this.  You may run into some spoilers, because I am commenting on the movie as I watch it.

I have problems with this movie already.  Okay, guy gets on a ledge after escaping from jail to prove his innocence.  You get that right off, so there's nothing to spoil here.  He escapes from custody after attending his father's funeral.  My first problem is, the two officers guarding him have radios.  Why not disable their radios so they can't call it in?  I mean as far as anyone knows, if they can't call in, it's just a long funeral service.  But, he doesn't.  Then, he looks to his left, shoots the tire out of a brown jeep like vehicle.  And then....  gets into that vehicle and drives off?  Wha?  That's exactly how it appears watching this movie, that he shoots that tire out, then goes around to the driver's side and gets in.  Then his getaway vehicle gets hit by an onrushing train that crushes the back end and flips the vehicle over several times.  And... he's fine afterwards!  The man has the constitution of a ninja.

On the plus side.  Everyone is in this movie.  I saw william sadler as a valet already, elizabeth banks is the negotiator, kyra sedgewick is a reporter, ed harris is the rich bad guy, I know this sam worthington (the jumper) fellow from other roles but he's not very well known to me personally.  I think I saw my mom in the crowd as an extra.  lol  YEP!  There she is, complaining about the traffic to the reporter.  lol

Yea, I knew his brother was in on it.  Not that nobody ever fights at the death of a parent (I fully expect a brawl at my next family wake), but the scene just seemed too contrived.  They waited til everyone was gone except the guards and then started an obviously fake brawl.  I don't really know why the guards jumped in so fast.  I'd have just pulled my gun and waited.  Anyway, the brother's gf is hot, and Elizabeth Banks is smoking hot as usual.  Damned if I can figure out why all the really hot chicks wear several layers of clothing to bed, though.  I guess a nude scene wasn't in her contract.  Loved the nipples poking through the shirt shot, but they probably weren't even really her nipples, just a prop for the scene.  You can't believe anything coming from hollywood nowadays.  I think even the marriages and breakups are staged half the time.  Maybe even the deaths!  lol

Now wtf.  The ex-partner of this guy (the jumper is a former cop) breaks into a storage compartment owned by the jumper's brother without a warrant.  Now, that cops are doing something illegal doesn't surprise me.  What does is why he's breaking into a storage facility without a warrant when he supposedly is the jumper's friend.  So my guess is he's dirty, and had something to do with framing the jumper.  Sorry if that spoils anything, but everything seems kind of lame for some reason.  Also, where did he get all this money he's throwing away if he DIDN'T steal the diamond?  I mean look, I'd only been watching the movie for 5 minutes by the time I realized he didn't have anything to do with the robbery.  Otherwise, we wouldn't have a movie here.  lol

Man, the brother's gf is hot.  She even knows shit about relationships.  And she has a nice rack.  I want to date her.  lol  Maaaaaan she looks good in those panties.  Err, sorry I'm wandering.

Hey they got woody harrelson to do a bit part!  Oh that's not woody harrelson.  Just looks like him.  lol Crazy guy in the crowd, dead ringer for Woody, but with.. uh...  more...  hair.  Sorry Woody.  I think you're a good actor, though.  And all this man on a ledge shit has me freaking out inside.  I hate heights. lol  I'll never be a jumper.

Plenty of action in this movie.  Lots of suspense and tense moments.  Hmmm I don't know.  It's kind of short, I guess.  At an hour and 36 minutes I expected more.  Where's the twist ending?  Where's Ed Harris with a sneaky, dirty cop surprise coming out from behind a corner and Elizabeth Banks shooting him?  I'm telling you, they should have had a third dirty cop, the one friendly with Mercer, maybe, sneaking up on the guy.  Ah well.  I guess a happy ending in today's world is a good thing.

Well, there's my real-time review.  No nudity, bits of sexy, some suspense and tense moments, bits of action thrown in here and there, but a lot of unbelievability.  Like, how does an ex-cop talk his brother and his brother's girlfriend into breaking into a vault?  Not, trying to convince them to do it, I mean, how did he tell them HOW?  How did they manage to become expert safecrackers in two short years after he goes to prison?  I mean come on, your normal safecracker takes years of experience, bad judgement, and prison time to get good at his trade.  You telling me a guy from NYC and his latina lady can figure all that shit out in a couple years?  Even if he helped them, how much does he know?  He's just an ex cop.  he may have seen the vaults from time to time, but how would he know all the specs, or how to disable them, or anything?  Meh.  Lots of plot loopholes in this movie.  Needs more naked Elizabeth Banks to distract you from thinking too hard.  :-)

Til next time!

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