And I realize, it's an indie game. A cheap one. So it's not going to be state of the art or anything. And it's a gift, so it's not that I am not grateful, but the game... is not quite fun. I'm not sure if it's the fact that my avatar is apparently suffering from hypoglycemia, and has to eat several times a day or he dies. Or that not sleeping through the night makes him go totally insane within a matter of a day or two. Or that everything in the game, including the frogs that hop out of the bottomless ponds, is trying to kill him.
No, I think what pisses me off is, they put a morality system in.
Let's just forget for a moment that my avatar "Wilson," is apparently a college professor or something. Let's forget for a moment that he literally has to eat and sleep every few minutes (in real time) or he dies. Let's forget for a minute that the only things in the world that aren't trying to kill him, are the bunnies. But let's forget all that.
I'm not allowed to kill the bunnies because it's "morally wrong," according to the game. And also, let's forget that bunnies, even in our world, are practically MEANT to be eaten in mass quantities. Seriously, why do you think they reproduce so much? So predators can kill a few and there will still be plenty of bunnies to continue the species. It's like they were put here as a food source. If you believe in intelligent design, they were. I don't believe in intelligent design, so for simplicity's sake, let's just say the bunnies genetic survival tactic is mass breeding to ensure the survival of at least some of the population, despite massive losses to predators. Since bunnies have been around a while, it seems like a viable option.
So here you have a guy. College professor (i'm guessing). Used to the mundane world of buying lunch at the local restaurant. Apparently has the constitution of a small rodent. Has to eat and sleep every few minutes or he either goes insane or starves to death. Thrust into another goddamn world. My first order of business would be eating. Food equals survival. And... I'm not allowed to kill the ONE THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD that's not already capable of killing me, in order to feed myself? How is that fair?
So let's review our other options. Berries can be eaten. They grow on bushes. Takes forever for the bushes to regrow the berries and there's no way to plant the berries so you can grow your own bushes. And even if you could, the makers put a "Gobbler" in to eat the berries so you can't really mass harvest them for a viable food supply. So I guess berries are out.
Fishing is one option. IF you can avoid the killer frogs, which pour out of the bottomless ponds like they were portals to hell. But you can't cook the fish in your crockpot, because that just ruins it. You have to dry the fish, which essentially makes them into fish jerky. Barely counts as a snack, and takes days to dry the fish, during which time, you are starving to death. Frog legs can be eaten, again, if you can survive the waves of killer frogs, but also aren't much more than a snack as far as your ever-hungry belly is concerned. So ponds, frogs, and fish seem to be out as a viable food source.
But hey, there's crops! Supposedly my nephew, who also has the game, survives on those things. Let's see now. To make a plot of arable land you need manure from the extremely hard to find Beefaloes. So while you are searching all over for the beefaloes, you are starving to death. But let's say you get EXTREMELY lucky and manage to find them before your hunger gets too severe. So you build a plot. You need seeds to plant on the plot to get it to grow. Seeds grow on trees, right? No. Birds drop them. Sometimes. if you're lucky. But killing the birds, which is also morally wrong, doesn't get you the seeds, anyway. If the birds happen to fly down and land on the ground, once in a great while, they leave some seeds. So you find some manure, you find some seeds, and you can plant them. ONE SEED PER PLOT. Yea. I just want to know, what the HELL KIND OF FARMER PLANTS ONE SEED PER 100 SQUARE FEET OF ARABLE LAND? So in a ten by ten plot, I have... one plant growing. And.. it takes DAYS. So, you're starving the whole time the plants are growing. And when it ripens, you get... One vegetable. That's, like a snack as far as your hunger is concerned. And THEN.. to replant, you have to find more seeds.
So let me tell you my first experience with the morality system. I'm wandering around, collecting shit. Rocks, berries, seeds, logs, whatever I can find. You never know what will be useful. And I find a grassy area with a lot of rabbit holes. So I'm checking my inventory and I have enough to build a science machine, so I can build more advanced items. And eventually I get to where I can build bird traps in addition to rabbit traps. and I fence in an area with wood fencing since I have an abundance of wood nearby. And as the days go by I fall into a rhythm. Collect twigs and rope and grasses, build traps, set traps, catch rabbits and small birds, murder them (it literally says murder them as an option when you trap them, the animals go into your inventory alive and you have to slay them by hand to get the meat), and then cook the meat in a crockpot to make a dish of meatballs. Which is VERY FILLING. You can literally survive on like a couple plates of meatballs a day. So I'm stocking up on meatballs so I can eventually have enough food to explore, and my beard is growing, and I've got a spear, and wood armor, and a straw hat, and I literally look like a wilderness survivalist out on a bender. All beard and hat. And then.... the Krampus comes.
Now, the krampus, by way of explanation, is the answer to actually learning how to survive off the land. Trapping rabbits and birds, I was literally catching so many of them, that it was hard to keep up with the cooking to make the plates of meatballs. I was constantly full and starting to build up food stores. Good survival skills, eh? The Krampus comes. He's a large, lizardly looking thing, red, with a huge sack over his back. He comes and steals all your shit. Literally. Traps, chests, anything you have set out for him to steal, he's taking it. And he's faster than I am, so he runs in, steals my shit, runs out. My traps are disappearing, he's scaring all the animals running in and out so I'm not catching anything, he's just something i have to deal with. So I set myself at the opening of my camp and wait. And he comes and we do battle! Now, i managed to kill him once, but that's not enough. No, apparently, killing and eating small rabbits is SO evil in this game, that the more I do it, the more krampuses (Krampii?) that spawn. So the second one manages to kill me, and BAM! There goes my world. My camp. My tent. all my traps. All my stored food. Gone.
So how does one survive this game? Clearly starving to death slowly is your only option. The search for food is pretty much your overriding concern from the moment you begin. Supposedly there might be some way to return to your home dimension, but finding all the parts would be impossible without starving to death. I don't really see the point. How is starving to death in a virtual universe in any way, fun? Maybe I am missing something.
I don't really get the whole genre, i suppose. For many people, where the next meal is coming from is a worry in reality. It's never fun. I don't want to get off on a whole rich people vs poor people rant, but if rich people think hustling your buns off to find your next meal is fun, they really should try it in reality some time. Look, I know everyone's idea of fun can be different. But starving really doesn't seem like my idea of fun. Has anyone who has ever wondered where the hell their next meal is coming from, actually thought it was fun at the time? I highly doubt it. Why do people think that is fun? Time consuming, yes. Fun? Nope. And I';m not even technically poor. just the few occasions when I've missed a single meal have been rough. I can't imagine wondering where EVERY meal is going to come from, would be a fun way to spend a lifetime. Sounds pretty goddamn ridiculous to me. So does that mean, rich people fantasize about being poor, and poor people fantasize about being rich, and that's why they play the games they do? Shit. Rich people, just give the poor people your money, and we'll all trade places. Okay? Deal.
So, I've decided. If Don't Starve doesn't like me being an evil dick who murders small animals for food, too damn bad. If I have to be a murderer to survive, I'm doing it! It's just a game. The squeals of dying rabbits and small animals shouldn't give me undue pleasure, right? Exactly. I'm only doing it to survive, not because slaughtering hundreds of bunnies by hand brings me any joy.
MUA HA HA HA HAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
Sorry. Evil laugh slipped out. I'll try and keep a lid on it while I play. And FEAST on the MEAT of THOUSANDS of bunnies. Yea. MMM. Rabbit stew. Screw you, Krampus. Eat spear point.
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