Friday, August 31, 2012

Review - Super 8

First, let me apologize for a distinct lack of posts lately.  I've barely been home, let alone been at my computer much, so obviously that would preclude a large number of postings.  No, i haven't found work or jesus, but I did pick up a social life somewhere.  I immediately dropped it, though.  I mean, you never know where those things have been.  Yes, I washed my hands.  Hopefully I didn't pick up a socially transmitted disease or something.

Super 8 is a movie I have been waiting to see forever.  Or at least, it felt like forever.  Supposedly the movie only came out in 2011 but that makes absolutely no sense to me, since I was waiting to see it come out on HBO or something all last summer (since i THOUGHT it had come out the summer before that), but instead I find it pop up on netflix on the rare occasion that I am home.  In any case, I thought this movie was pretty decent.

Yes, I know the last thing steven spielberg or george lucas or art garfunkel or whoever the hell produced this thing needs is any more money, but since I didn't really pay for it, I can't complain.  Sure, the $8 a month netflix subscription is one thing but i get TONS of movies for that, not just Super 8.  I don't know why these summer blockbusters never hit the premium channels anymore.  HBO played iron man ONCE a few years back after it came out and then I NEVER SAW IT AGAIN EVER until i got the DVD.  oh sure, a piece of crap movie comes out, and it's splashed all over HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, and a month later it's on TNT and ABC and then they replay it ever 2 hours on one channel or another, and a good movie comes out and they play it ONCE.  wtf is up with that shit?  Ah, don't get me started, I'll go on for hours.

So super 8 is technically a coming of age love story.  Sure, there's a monster in there somewhere.  Would have to be, I really don't review things without monsters in them, so you KNOW there's a monster.  I didn't really like the special effects in this movie.  And the beastie was pretty much easy to  spot even though they supposedly tried to keep it off camera as much as possible, ut for the most part, this is basically a teen love story with a few explosions thrown in.

Let's take a few pieces of the movie that I liked.  One is, the movie starts with school letting out for the summer.  As I've mentioned in numerous blogs before, the last day of school is an awesome feeling.  Even catching a glimpse of that in a movie brings back great memories for me, so I was pretty much hooked immediately.  Then, you've got a bunch of, well, geeks basically, and they are filming a monster movie for a contest.  hey!  I'm a geek, too!  I immediately identified with the main character, who's basically a special effects guy, and a total geek who has the hots for some girl from the, shall we say "wrong" side of the tracks, that is, the "love interest" for the main character.

Enter Elle Fanning as the girl from the wrong side of the tracks.  If the name sounds familiar, it's Dakota Fanning's little sister.  So here's another part I liked, they go to this old train station in the middle of the night to film part of the movie the kids are making for the contest, and this girl wows all the geeks with her acting talent.  It almost seemed self advertising to me at this point, I mean, Elle Fanning, the actress, is acting the part of an aspiring actress, but i guess it works for the movie.  In any case, that's not the part I am talking about.  Right about here is where all hell breaks loose and we get to the actual meat of the monster movie, not just the useless drivel leading up to it to establish character motives and that sort of shit.  I loved the fact that they are doing something completely unrelated to the impending doom and just chance upon what's going to happen next.

It's almost like one of those stories that starts out "it was a routine patrol..."  Just on a side note, by the way, never ever, in your entire life, if you are asked to go on a "routine patrol," say Yes.  ALL THE BAD SHIT HAPPENS THEN.  Yea.  It was a routine patrol, and then the aliens probed us.  It was a routine patrol, and then the jungle exploded.  it was a routine patrol, and then charlie told us all about how he likes to masturbate to the sounds of barry Goldwater's testimony before congress.  You know what I mean?  if a sentence starts out, "it was a routine patrol..."  Just remember, it's NEVER A ROUTINE PATROL.  You know why?  because on a routine patrol, no one is ever PREPARED for the bad shit that happens.  It's all a total surprise.  Now...  if someone says "hey, me and a bunch of navy seals are about to go on the MOST DANGEROUS MISSION EVER, with tons of explosives and millions of bad guys coming after us, and none of us are expected to return alive.  want to tag along?"  you say YES!  Because that is where you are going to be prepared.  No one on that mission is going to say "aw man, if only we had brought explosives." or "oh man, we didn't bring enough ammo" or "if only we had a knife or some other sharp implement we could use to cut our way through the hundred enemy combatants between us and our freedom."  You know why?  because they'd have all those things.  They would be PREPARED.  Sure, you may still not make it out alive, but it won't be for lack of foresight.

That's why I keep a tube of super glue on me, just in case I get kidnapped by aliens.  They ain't probing my anus!  I'll seal that shit up TIGHT.

Erm, anyway...  Super 8 wasn't the best movie ever.  Decent special effects, a nice coming of age love story thing, involving geeks, which gives it extra points in my book, and it's an entertaining story.  No nudity, a little too wholesome, and not enough gore for my personal taste, but in general, not bad.  I was tempted to watch it twice to see if it passed the rewatchability test, but I had like 9 movies that were expiring in my netflix queue I had to watch instead.

Luckily I've got rid of that whole social life thing before it got too hairy.  Now all i need is a job/income, a new computer, a few hundred million dollars and a supermodel who likes fat balding older men who can only get it up once every 3 weeks.  Then I'm set for life!

Well, october is coming up in a couple months, at least.  That's right horror fans, it's HORROR MOVIE MARATHON season again.  I will try and screen and review ALL NEW MOVIES for you guys.  No promises now, but I'll scroll through my 500 movie strong netflix queue and pick out a new horror movie to watch each day for the month of october and see if I can't bring some new blood to the blog!  HAH!  See what I did there?  NEW BLOOD!  geddit geddit?  heee heeeee  Only 30 days away now!  Full moons, werewolves, vampires and ghouls, here we come!  :-D

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