Reviews #24 to #28

It's rather late and I have 5 reviews, so I'm just going to get right to it.

#24 - THE EXORCIST! I could go on for days about this movie, but I'm only going to give it two paragraphs or so. Basically, it's been voted the scariest movie of all time. I've seen it, and honestly, it's not bad. lol Sure there's lots of religious symbolism and it's all about catholicism and exorcisms and a lot of other isms, but essentially it's a story about the battle between good and evil, using catholicism as a reference point. Because honestly, it's difficult to compare good and evil without a reference point, isn't it? Catholicism is as good a backdrop as any! Plus it has Linda Blair, Max Von Sydow (how that man can look old in this movie, made in 1970's, and still be alive and acting today, I have no idea!), and while Linda Blair's career didn't exactly skyrocket with this movie, well the movie itself sure does stand the test of time.

Reagen is basically a normal teen girl with a few issues. She can't digest green pea soup, she's got really bad acne, and men in black like to tie her to beds. Honestly, is this such a bad thing? Why they can't just stop feeding her green pea soup, give her some meds for the acne and ... well quite frankly, if she's possessed by the devil, as is the premise of this movie, untying her from the bed is probably a bad idea. You know something I've never understood, if a demon possesses someone, why the HELL does it hang around and wait for a priest? Hell, I'd take the body and take off with it! Sure, maybe you can beat the priest and overcome the whole exorcism thing, maybe you can't, but why not avoid the whole situation? Eh, I never understood demons. In any case, they bring in a couple priests, one of whom is Max Von Sydow, to try and help her. Yu know he's an old ass-kicker from way back, so there's going to be a brutal cage match in there somewhere! NO HOLDS BARRED BABY!

#25 - MASK MAKER! A couple going through some relationship issues buys a cheap farm. Needless to say, there's a good reason it's cheap. There's a whole legend about the farm, and the local townsfolk not only know it, but were part of it. Will the couple live through meeting the old residents of the farm? The dead ones?

This movie was not that great, but it was fairly recent. Basically a slasher flick with some college coeds and a bit of backstory to it. Couple of older character actors, the type that are so good I can't even remember where I've seen them before. Now THAT's acting ability.

#26 - GRIZZLY PARK! Another bit of a stinker, this one had a pack of criminals sentenced to "community service" that are tasked with cleaning up a park at the end of a season. Unfortunately for the criminals, there's both a wild bear on the loose and a more violent variety of criminal, as well as a couple rangers to deal with. On the plus side, great shots of the park, and the bear costume the one wears is awesome! Actually it blows, but I guess the kids are drunk/high/stupid enough to believe it's the real thing for a minute... Sad.

Still, I give it props for the ending. One of the few endings that actually turned out nicely instead of me going "that was lame." lol

#27 - VAN HELSING! I know, I know. This doesn't technically qualify as horror, more of an action flick. But come on, it's got dracula, frankenstein, the wolfman, the brides of dracula, and of course, van helsing! Any movie that tries to smush all these horrific characters together deserves a break, right? I haven't seen that done since Abbot and Costello films! Or maybe the Monster Squad. Now there's a movie I should review. Still, unique takes on ... well pretty much EVERY monster in this film, including van helsing and the hunchback of notre dame, so I give them props for coming up with new material. Most films that do this don't bother giving them story lines, they just plop them into the film and assume you've seen enough horror films to know who they are, which this film did NOT do. Instead, they gave every monster a personality and every personality a reason for being. Almost like real life! But, you know, with fangs. They should make a van helsing 2, except all the monsters died off in the first one. Hmmmm.

Van Helsing, a sort of Holy Assassin for the roman catholic church, has been sent to romania to take out dracula before the last of a line of devout christians meets their end in purgatory. The only trouble is, there's only two of the line left, and one's already a werewolf! Not even mentioning that van helsing has some sort of relationship with dracula, one that he can't remember, and anything and everything can happen!

#28 - TO THE DEVIL A DAUGHTER! You know, when I read the reviews for this on Netflix, and saw someone mention Christopher Lee along with Richard Widmark, I was already primed. But the mention of Mastassia Kinski naked sold me on it. So of course I immediately watched the movie, because, you know, after watching Cat People so many times, I think she's goddamn sexy. So, I watch the movie, all the while thinking, damn, she looks so young in this film, this was probably one of her first ones. Because, you know, a lot of actresses start out doing horror to get started. So despite her nude scenes being a little weird (the catholicism-based scenes were almost satan-porn, as far as I could tell), I still thought SWEET SHE'S NAKED! So I look her up on IMDB.com, and she did this movie when she was 14 or 15 years old. So I'm apparently going straight to hell when I die. On the plus side, I'll know everyone there. Also, this movie is on the disturbing side of things. SO much blood! I nearly passed out just from watching! Now for the summary.

A nun meets her father once a year on her birthday, and her 18th birthday is in two days. So she is released from her nunnery on an island to take a plane to meet him, and instead of meeting her at the airport, the father asks a well-known author to pick her up for him. So the nun goes with the author, who has been warned by the father that there may be some trouble, as the nun was raised by satan worshippers. The author, a bit of an expert in these matters, thinks it's a bunch of malarkey, but he thinks he might get some material for his next book out of it. Unfortunately, as he begins to research just what he's got himself into, he finds out he is wholly unprepared for what happens, and then it's Richard Widmark vs Christopher Lee in a cage match BATTLE TO THE DEATH! Apparently, good and evil like cage matches. Who knew thy were wrestling fans?

As I understand it, this flick was the last film made by Hammer studios in 1976 before they shut their doors. 1950s to 1976 is a pretty good run, and I believe they've reopened their company recently. I can only hope they return to their horror movie roots. Shit, Christopher Lee is still alive, get him in there! AHA so is Nastassia Kinski, and she's legal now! To the Devil a Daughter 2, anyone? Anyone?

Three movies to go. I hope I have time to watch them all and review them tomorrow.