Premiere Week

This is apparently premiere week for new shows...

Or it could be all month, who knows. Tonight, we have Revenge, from 10 to 11 wednesday nights on ABC. Apparently, this show is about... Well, you know, I think the title kind of gives it away, but the pilot pretty much illustrates what the audience knows that no one in the show knows, that the main character is driven by the desire for revenge.

Apparently, a bunch of rich folks framed a little girl's dad for murder when he was about to expose their corruption. They put him in jail, and somehow, she ended up in jail too, but when she got out, she found out the truth, and that her dad had died. So she decides to take vengeance on them all, and shows up like 10 or 20 years later, no one knows who she is, she's using a different name, and she's arranging things so that everyone in the area takes a really big fall.

I like this show. I'm not sure why exactly. Maybe i like cold hearted bitches who will rip your balls off with their teeth and spit them into your hot fudge sundae while smiling at you. They do seem to be my type. She doesn't even look like a killer, the main character. She looks like your basic girl next door who's a psycho stalker. She's not really cute, she's not exactly pretty, and she's not sexy, but she is acting like a cold, calculating bitch out for revenge, and that is selling the show quite well, in my opinion.

Come to think of it, this show sounds like your basic soap opera. Everyone is crooked, everyone is out to backstab everyone else, and everyone's filthy stinking rich. Hmmm. I hate soap operas. Maybe I'll just say I like the main character, she seems like a good actress. Plus it has madeline stowe in it, who plays an excellent villain. Maybe I'll watch it just to see how these two psycho chicks take each other out. Because honestly, who likes watching a catfight more than me? I got my money on the girl next door, because she's playing for keeps, and doesn't give a damn what happens to innocent bystanders.

That's SO hot in a girl, don't you think?

Tomorrow, the Charlie's Angels remake premieres. Just my thoughts, before i see the show... I watched the original like 30 years ago, and I thought it was awesome. Sure, I was like, 10 years old, but three totally hot private detective chicks working to fight for the little guy and find justice where none exists? They were smart, sassy, classy and I just wanted to have all three of them at once.

Yea, I was kind of a pervert at 10. Not much has changed over the years.

So why remake a perfectly good show? Why ruin my fond memories of childhood? BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HOLLYWOOD DOES BEST. It's true. Eh well. from the looks of the remake, it's based in Miami, produced by Drew Barrymore, and hopefully will show a lot of hot girls in bikinis, because let's face it, that's what sold the original show so well in the first place. Yea, yea, I know. Some people say the producers only did that to boost ratings, that the show really wasn't about girls in bikinis, but let's face it... They did it to boost ratings. It actually made people watch the show. Sex sells, and it sells well. Hell, if people wanted to pay me for sex with Mr Tiny, I'd be selling it as often as I could get it up, which at my age is about once every three months. But I'd be holding an AUCTION! And a magnifying glass to make it look larger. But I digress.

If Charlie's Angels expects to last more then a few episodes in, it better show off a LOT of it's main characters. Otherwise, it'll tank.

As for Revenge? Well, it's a prime time soap opera. I give it one season for everyone to find out what's going on, and then either it's going to be the new flagship for all the daytime soap opera fans who have nothing to watch now, OR the people who watch TV at night will go "A goddamn SOAP OPERA? On MY TV? Not in my backyard!" and switch channels. Because frankly, people who watch TV at night hate soap operas. Even well done ones with psycho bitch versus psycho bitch. We'll see how things turn out, but unless someone gets naked, the main character starts killing people in mortal combat arenas, or ninjas fly out of her ass and kill everyone, I may lose interest halfway through next week's show.