Slow News... Week?

So a week ago I broke one of my own rules...

I posted about politics. I know, I know, I should have left it to people who care. Instead, I espoused my own views of what the truth might be. A few hours later, I was laid off from my job of six and a half years. Coincidence? You can decide for yourself. Me, I think it's all an elaborate plot by right-wing neo-republican commandos hellbent on destroying the one voice of reason in a sea of frothing madness. HELLBENT, I SAY!!!

No, I don't really believe that. I do, however, wonder what the hell a neo-republican commando is. Sounds like a fun day job.

So the other day, my oldest sister is screaming at my mom for something stupid. It's nothing unusual, of course, that's my oldest sister's job. No, really, it's right in her job description, she gets paid to scream at my mom for stupid things. This time, both my mom and I heard my sister say she'd cook dinner that night. However, my sister says she had said no such thing. Fine, so both mom and I heard her wrong on two separate occasions. Unlikely, sure. I know, you guys know her reputation for lying her ass off, and maybe she was, but what do I care? I just had six years of stress removed from my shoulders by being freed from the oppressive cubicle hell I was in. I was feeling great. So mom starts cooking. But this isn't enough for my sister, OH NOES MISTER BILL. She's insistent on screaming at my mother for DARING to even THINK she'd said she'd cook. Now, since my mom is recovering from a stroke, I'm thinking, hey, maybe screaming at her non stop is probably a bad idea. I politely ask my sister to stop. I even say please. Didn't even raise my voice. My sister screams at me to shut up and glares at me like her glare is some sort of alien death ray and I'm just going to keel over. Lucky for me, she's sadly mistaken. I politely asked her to stop once more.

The next morning, my sister is packed up and gone. Why? She felt... "threatened." I guess I must have left my zipper open and she was threatened by my flopping manhood, because, let's face it... I'm a computer geek. I'm about as violent as Matthew Broderick in... well... any role he's ever played, I think. I make Woody Allen look like a serial killer. Come to think of it, he probably is. At any rate, I've somehow managed to cause a family squabble, because my sister thinks she should be allowed to scream at my mom, and get this... because my other sister and I have arguments with my mom. Yes, that's right. She's demanding her own chance to give my mom another stroke. And she insists she has that right. I know, it's like saying because someone else buys a gun, my sister has the right to shoot 17 people in a 5 state killing spree. The way her mind works, it doesn't surprise me.

So I've started my job search. Sort of jump started it, you could say. I get up this morning intent on finishing the updating of my resume, and I've already got a message waiting for me about a job. Now I hadn't even finished updating my resume at this point, let alone sent it out to anyone. I'm understandably confused. So I have a phone interview about a possible job I'm not really suited for. I'm probably not going to get it. But that's some serious luck there. I'm not sure how many people can get a phone interview before they've even finished updating their resume. At this rate, I'll get hired before my first interview, and somehow manage to get fired before my first day of work. If anyone can do it, it's me.

My Fail-Fu is strong.